The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

the pain inside will subside it will lessen with time and then you will find someone who will take it all away and give you happiness



deep inside beneath the darkness you feel just now is the strength you need to get through this and go on, all you have to do is tap into it and let it fuel you



what is pain? happiness? one and the same, different sides of the same coin each of equal values, one lost the other gained.

the happiness we had was the first felt by us both for many years, it gave us our strength, it made us who we are now, without it, all that i knew is no more



and i know she shares this pain equaly, aswel as the countless others that blight her contentedness



pain is a prison designed to hold the soul down if you let it, it will hold you in darkness and any glimpse of happiness you ever felt will become poison to your veins and soul



as pain is a prison so too is happiness, i know this pain is a price i would gladly pay, and i know she feels the same.. this is my glimmer of light ... however it is jaded by my own afflictions,



happiness is no prison it is freedom, pain is a terrible price to pay, let your own afflictions not jade you let them be a lesson for the future



there is much good to be learned from the pains of the past, let them not hold you in darkness instead let them light the way to your future

Now we have declared ourselves in him they come quicker than the days turn to night. I reach out for you but you are not there, the chasm between you has widened and I fear for my heart. I scramble to the edge desperately seeking a way across.



Though the chasm seems deep and the way across is hidden, fear not for in your heart lives the key.



But this heart is weary and it all seems so far. Can I really reach my destination? Will I make it to him or will I forever only dream of his touch? I must find a way to him, I must. Reaching to her scabbard she draws her sword and begins to clamber using it as a wedge.



Let your heart remember the sweet moments you have forgotten. Light a beacon of hope and let it guide your path, true love is something you cannot simply pass by. So think not of making the journey, but follow the light.



How can I jump when I see no path before me? I feel his heart but my confusion has me looking down instead of straight too him.



Then see not with your eyes close them for the moment and let the feeling of his heart guide you too him.



She closes her eyes and searches through the darkness and sees his face, but just as she is too grasp him, she slips and her eyes are forced to reopen, before her stands a dark figure.



What of this dark figure before you, know you reason they are here.



He has come to steal my heart and fill me with fear and I have not the strength to fight his vicious grip.



She feels the tears reach the corner of her eyes and she collapses to her knees, she cant hold back the tears. Her past has returned for her and wants to steal her away.



Fear not the shadows of the past. Let the light of your love vanquish your daemons and guide you to your true love.



But he seems so far away, the tears well up in her eyes she cannot hold them back any longer. I have lost sight of him is this fates sick joke? Or am I only dreaming. Help me I feel so lost I can’t grasp onto the hope of my heart. The daemons are closing in help me.



Raise your sword against them. You must fight if you want to be with him, let not the shadows and mistakes of the past hold you back from the future you deserve.



She rises to her feet and calls upon his name she looks straight ahead and they seem to fall all around her is it time she says.



I found what I searched for what seems an eternity, is reaching out to me yet scaring me. A battle rages inside my heart stopping me from thinking clear, can someone please tell why is it this I fear.



I feel you close beside me and you fill my heart with joy, though I can help I feel you left me leaving me vulnerable like a little boy. Why can’t my mind grasp what my feelings try to explain? why does happiness never come without pain...



Please give me the comfort in my heart, need I ask of you please. See me through this sweet suffering and let it be true.



The pain that comes before happiness is to remind us that we truly are happy once it’s gone, take comfort in your heart that it is true.



Fear is a wall I put up for myself bound by sadness and shame, strong for no one may enter though my heart yearns for the truth. I am afraid to let it enter.





Ask me why I can’t explain for every step closer to happiness leaves me in a sad place.



And why does this place vanish as fast as it appears, what makes it disappear?



To make it disappear it has to be overcome. This is a hard road full of obstacles and miles long. It can vanish now and then but it always reappears, corrupting my faith filling my heart with fear.



I grasp at those words for they make me feel hope, though the never ending worries make it hard to cope. I wish I was him, I wish that man brave enough to leave it behind. But then again, I hope this hurt will stop hurting me and I’ll find true peace for what I have found lately gave my heart at ease.



She looks forth into his eyes she can’t stay for long for fear is not far behind. But before she is pulled away she whispers don’t let go I am coming.



We are yet to meet though I’ve seen them. I know its you that’s calling out to me. When I am dreaming I wish I could reach and take your fear away, just take your hand and go to this distant place this beautiful land where only we exist and no fear can reach.



She perked up her ears and she couldn’t believe it was his voice that had called her. She hastened her feet staring endlessly into the distance but saw no figure she was now floating.

can feel them burning into my skull like a pair of well heated pokers they are searching my screen and questioning me "Big brother is watching" mutterings under the breath are all the noises to break the monotony of the days silence something is afoot in the office, the bosses are on the prowl a pack of lions far from home hungry for fresh blood.



It will not be mine not today not ever, looking busy and arranging meetings on the outside appearance of a busy worker inside well inside it’s different. My mind drifts with images of escape schemes to break free from this monotony I want out my mask shown nothing to the world as ever emotion is covered "Always so calm" they mutter "Never shows anything" "Scares me that one no emotions, not natural"



"Lets leave him be he's young and scares me" they sniff around a bit longer searching for a crack "there must be someway in" "nothing no way in" they growl and move on, no meat on this one.



Sighing inside I smile people look up and gasp "he smiled so there is emotion damn kid too calm" im sitting here slowly losing my mind for 8 hours a day I have no outlet no escape just the slow and steady slide back to insanity I cant bear the pain much longer and thankfully I wont have to soon I promise soon the escape will be complete, you will be with her and all will be well hang in there a little longer.

Sun is warm and the day is happy even lovers in the park can’t darken my heart I fear nothing her words are whispered on the wind "Fear not I am here by your side and I will never let you go"

Memories and feeling of holding her close fill my heart with warmth

I am free in these dreams and even the darkness I fear has no sway over me for she is helping to keep me strong let these dreams never end

The momentum has gone toppling like spinning plates falling all around

I have not the strength to pick up the pieces and carry on nor do I have the strength of character to pick myself up from the ground where I have fallen

I know these feelings all too well an old lover is back to visit and I am fearful of how long she will stay Darkness my old friend always there ready to snatch me away like the thief in the night

When my strength fades and I start to fall darkness is there hungry and waiting

The past is like an anchor for most, it gives them something to look back upon and provide smiley memories.

For others the past is a prison of memory and of pain. They let it get to them and it holds them tight claustrophobic and lost to the world.



Don’t let the past hold you back from the future that you deserve, for no good will come of it let the past be a guide and not a prison.

Let it guide you through the minefield of mistakes waiting to catch you out, but let it not poison your dreams and dilute your hopes with fears of repeating failures.



For me like so many others the past is painful. It reminds us of the mistakes, of the pain and suffering we have caused in the past and because of this my past is a prison.

I bury it away and gloss over it but the cracks appear, paint can only cover things for so long the cracks bubble and it comes back to hit me like a slap from an old lover.

The past is a pain best forgotten and if and when I can let go of it, the future is bright and it is mine to do with as I please.

My heart will be free and vengeance will no longer fuel my life, I will be free.

A little boy follow his father around looking for that approval that spark of praise

it never came never did the father say to the son well done kid im proud to call you my son

grades were good parents night roll round sorry son cant make it working tonight conditional love its called and he is a master at the game, stick with me son and the money for uni will be yours stick with me and i will give you a new car every six months



Crash the car sorry son work wont let me away call your mother

I fired the first shots in a war that tore our family apart and i did it so he would notice me

the shot was not a warning not my style no remorse no looking back i went for the kill

it got the result i wanted he noticed me long enough to break me and leave

it drove me to the brink of death this family war but in the end he won and i lost i wasnt strong enough to fight him



The world has changed the family dynamic has changed and yet i have not stronger and more bitter perhaps but i have not changed and moved on



my new dad loves me and shows me the unconditional love my own father never could yet i cant call him dad i have tried but its too painfull the memory burns me and relight the fires of hate in my heart



Pity i kinda like him



he makes my mum smile and laugh and that makes me happy they are happy so i am happy i think



Still have thought of my father but they are not warm and fuzzy like people expect they are dark and full of pain



no one understands what i have done and the path i have taken some people riducule me yet to this day because of it



its not fun its not pleasant but its the path i have chosen, one day this feeling will go away and i will breathe free again



untill then i live my life one day at a time fearfull that every email i open could be from him, i want to put it to rest and call my stepdad dad, without having dark thoughts one day it will be so

love is a drug a very powerful drug

when in love it will take away any pain physical and mental

when it ends the come down is the most painful and it doesnt go away songs, watching couples walking, cuddling, talking on the phone reminds you of that high and how badly you want to get back there



Can you go back is the question can love be recaptured in its pure form you felt before

who knows i know that this darkness is slowly killing me lonliness is a pain and it reminds me there is a little bit of heart that is missing can you fill it? who knows

Grounded and the walls seem to be closing in



Music the escape, pulsing through my soul picking me up or dropping me depending on the tempo



the walls are closing in the room seems smaller now, still music and the internet allow me to escape to my own world



I am free and i am king no worry or strife here a lord of all he surveys

Taken by her sweet embrace, she holds me close and whispers sweet nothings.



Darkness has come and claimed me once more, back to her warm embrace. She tells me I belong by her side her favorite pet.



Darkness loves me, she is caring and compassionate but people don’t understand. They fear the darkness and fear me when she has me by her side.



"Stay away he’s a freak, don’t love him he'll drag you down with him" they say these things, not quite out of earshot. I’m meant to hear them spreading the poison like a blanket, their protection from that which they don’t understand.



Why people say these things I do not know, but always darkness is there to wash away the pain and remove the scars. She springs from the shadows, when I slide. And when I feel alive and sane, she whispers her calling to me. Waiting patiently for my return to her.

whisper sweet nothings to me like you have never before

take my hand and take my heart remind me of lifes worth

Remind me of the sunsets on the beach and the walks on the sunny beaches

Remind me of the passionate nights and the lazy days



Remind me of all the things i have forgotten in my lonliness

Take my hand and take me away from this pain

Take me away from it all to a place where we are free

Walking these dark roads alone and abandoned I begin to wonder, where is my sire and why was I forsaken and left. London is where I was turned and after turning I was driven to the edge of insanity, perhaps during this time I chased her away, but now in my time of need I require her guidance to hear her voice whispering those sweet nothings again.



Your sweet embrace that opened my eyes to a whole new world, and your teachings that showed me the rules, now I am awakened I know not what I happening, and calling out for you in the night is in vain, so let me look upon your face and let you answer my call, come to me my sire I need your guidance and I need your friendship in this my time of need.

Now we have declared ourselves in him they come quicker than the days turn to night i reach out for you but you are not there the casm between you has widend and i fear for my heart i scramble to the edge desperatley seeking a way across



Though the casm seems deep and the way across is hidden fear not for in your heart lives the key



but this heart is weary and it all seems so far can i really reach my destination will i make it to him or will i forever only dream of his touch i must find a way to him i must. reaching to her scabbard she draws her sword and begins to clamber using it as a wedge



let your heart remember the sweet moments you have forgotten light a beacon of hope and let it guide your path true love is something you cannot simply pass by so think not of making the journey but follow the light.



How can i jump when i see no path before me i feel his heart but my my confusion has me looking down instead of straight too him.



Then see not with your eyes close them for the moment and let the feeling of his heart guide you too him



She closes her eyes and searches through the darkness and sees his face but just as she is too grasp him she is to grasp she slips and her eyes are forced to reopen before stands her a dark figure



and what of this dark figure before you, know you reason they are here



He has come to steal my heart and fill me with fear and i have not the strength to fight his viscious grip



She feels the tears reach the corner of her eyes and she collapses to her knees she cant hold back the tears her past has returned for her and wants to steal her away



Fear not the shadows of the past let the light of your love vanquish your deamons and guide you to your true love



But he seems so far away the tears well up in her eyes she cannot hold them back any longer, i have lost sight of him is this fates sick joke or am i only dreaming help me i feel so lost i cant grasp onto the hope of my heart the deamons are closing in help me i.



Raise your sword against them you must fight if you want to be with him let not the shadows and mistakes of the past hold you back from the future you deserve



She raises to her feet and calls upon his name she looks straight ahead and they seem to fall all around her is it time she says



I found what i searched for what seems an eternity is reaching out to me yet scaring me a battle rages inside my heart stopping me from thinking clear can someone please tell why is it this i fear



I feel you close beside me and you fill my heart with joy, though i can help i feel you left me leaving me vulnerable like a little boy, why cant my mind grasp what my feelings try to explain why does happiness never come without pain...



Please give me the comfort in my heart need i ask of you please see me through this sweet suffering and let it be true.



The pain that comes before happiness is to remind us that we truly are happy once its gone take comfort in your heart that it is true



Fear is a wall i put up for myself bound by sadness and shame strong for no one may enter though my heart yearns for the truth i am afraid to let it enter



ask me why i cant explain for every step closer to happiness leaves me in a sad place



and why does this place vanish as fast as it appears what makes it dissapear



To make it dissapear it has to be overcome which is a hard road full of obstacles and miles long, it can vanish now and then but it always reappears corrupting my faith filling my heart with fear



I grasp at those words for they make me feel hope though the never ending worries make it hard to cope i wish i was him, i wish that man brave enough to leave it behind, but then again i hope this hurt will stop hurting me and i'll find true peace for what i have found lately gave my heart at ease



She looks forth into his eyese she cant stay for long for fear is not ar behind but before she is pulled away she whispers dont let go i am coming



Our did ot yet meet though i've seen em i know its you thats calling out to me when i am dreaming i wish i could reach and take your fear away just take your hand and go to this distant place this beautifull land where only we exist and no fear can reach.



She perked up her ears and she couldnt believe it was his voice that had called her she hastend her feet staring endlessly into the distance but saw no figure she was now floating.

Its a bit Geeky but i love this bit from Star wars



Peace is a lie

There is only passion

Through passion I gain strength

Through strength I gain power

Through power I gain victory

Through victory my chains are broken

The Force shall set me free



Its called the Sith code for those thant dont know, the Fallen Jedi use it to give them power

This is from guild chat with a friend in a game its a collaboration between us and blew my mind i have stopped 3/4 of the way through because i am drunk and it became a proper full scale battle of negativity and light that was emotional for all involved.





My heart and mind grow weary of this constant struggle, Let there be peace so I can smile.



I will grant you peace, but you must be ready and willing for the road to peace is one of the heart and honesty is the Key.



I am afraid of the road for all I know is strife, will you light the way for all I know is darkness.



Hope will light your way in the darkness, look for the footprints I am carrying you.



What of the future and the light?



The light is just ahead, go and go now for I am waiting on the other side.



And what of this other side tell me of this place.



It’s a place only your dreams have seen, look inside you've been there a thousand times.



My dreams see us floating over ocean and rock, on a wing and a prayer, such beauty in those dreams of light.



Then reach for your dreams and you will find me waiting there, rest your heart in the knowledge of my peace.



In your guidance I place my trust, in your footprints I follow, in my dreams we shall meet again.



Come Come sit with me, I am waiting for you I have already laid a table with a mighty feast that you may replenish.



Is this a feast for the body or for the soul, let us dine at your table and drink your wine.



It is a feast to enrich our soul and mind that you may feel peace again.



Then let us dine and wine and may peace descend upon mind and heart and thine head.



And I will bring you to me riches of heart that you can imagine.



Let us soar on wings of imagination and let us not think of material riches, let us enrich heart and soul.



If you are ready and willing, I will show you the depths of heaven and show you how things can be.



I am ready and willing so take my hand and guide me to these places you mention.



Come fly with me I have much to show you.





Then lead me to my dreams, the path is illuminated and my heart feels light.



I am Gladdened your soul feels light and I will carry it in my arms forever.



And what if your arms may tire and my soul is dropped, would I be returned to the darkness where I lie this night.



If you fall I Will catch you I am always near even if your days seem dark, I am even there if you cant see me, I am there with you even in your darkest hour...



Heim, Rebekah