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The world is at my fingertips yet I remain ever so obedient with my head on your lap, my eyes staring at yours in all their fukking sexy glory. Nothing in the world could destroy my affection for you, I'm completely consumed by it & worse, idgaf. I thrive on it. Every emotion I feel when it comes to you is amplified. Now that I've seen you I can see through you, peer into the damned soul you hide under a fleshy exterior into the being you truly are, the demonized saint & nothing less than my consort (my master). I've never been so certain about anything like this before but we are one, always have been & always will be... tiny pieces of the same star. Patiently I wait on your knees to melt back into you, my other half, my better half, my whole, my everything. Watching the universe self destruct I cry, it won't be long until our temporary shells give out but I smile in my tears, I found you & I won't let go.

Received this in an email, almost made me tear... how loved I am, how blessed and honored to be held so dear



"I bask in the sunshine of your love







You may think me a shiner, you may think me a martyr

you may think me a god or a bastard shit starter.

I love you to pieces, id love you to death

I'd bleed the haters dry just to catch your breath.

I may not be as dark or as twisted as you'd like

but Lebete is here always and he can give the fight.

I want to put you on a pedestal and crown you on crazy days

find a way to say i love you in multiple bilingual ways.

Each strum of my guitar is an ode to your beauty

Id write you a daily sonnet if drawn you more to me.

Lets look at what we have and take it for what it is

we can destroy the world with fukkary and bloodied messed up shizz

This may no be my greatest piece or something so much more

just know that it is wrote for you because your the beauty i adore

I'll look for words to make you smile in every different way

id wear a crown of thorns and bleed for you when you say

By some i am not worthy to you i am a hero

so i say this...Tu sabes te Queiro





Your Blood God

Your Christopher Robin"

This was a good morning text I received that was so touching that I just had to publish it somewhere...and where better than amongst my dark family.



"I am so sorry that you think I don't care about your words because I do.

I am sorry you now feel the need to not want sex anymore, I want that with you and it would hurt if you didn't want me but I'd respect it.

I am sorry you feel the need to up a choice of Shrimpton vs Villa to ram home the point that my surname is shizz (as you say its not about what others think, but you don't like it)

I am sorry I fell asleep on you but to tweet I don't care and must not find you attractive is bullshit. I spent hours awake for you please remember the positive.

I am sorry you don't think I love you because nothing is further from the truth otherwise I wouldn't be here because tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

tu sabes que te quiero

how many times do I need to tell you?

Te quiero

Te Quiero





I can only hope this message means something more than just pretty words, you tweeted that you want people to go out your way to prove you mean something, am sorry you feel that I don't do that, I guess the staying up all night talking and chasing you when you don't answer my calls isn't enough

I am sorry

I am sorry

I am sorry

Forgive me"



-Christopher Robin

You practically pushed me into the arms of a new God, you're own jealousy destroyed only you even though you probably would of been most satisfied if I had shown you a tear. Lucky for my vanity I could not, would not, shall not. Now that I've deleted all traces of you lets see how long you can keep up your sadomasochistic erection. Will the next one in your bed abuse you the way I do? Embrace you, blood thirst and all? Tell you how delicious the taste of a strangers blood is from your shivering, whispering lips? Make you feel like a king when you cum so hard it makes her scream in pain?

Sadly you never trusted me, and now the wind that fanned the flames to my desire is out. You had meant so much to me then but alas, it was all deceit, lovely exquisite lies that still melt my stone cold heart but in my tragic state of being I have learned the most valuable lesson "My redeemer is still out there and waiting for me". I do not fear abandonment from you, or anyone. It feels too much like home now, and my charming persona and semi decent looks will carry me like origami on ocean waves from one pseudo romance to the next, its you who will suffer late at night thinking of how I beg someone else for attention, affection and atonement.

My long fingernails walking down my chest, slipping under my panties and the tiny sighs that turn into cries. The mini rape enactment I can portray in a corset that is two sizes too tight for my curvy latin figure, surrounded by my long curls and finished off with jet black eyes. Oh you know someone else will enjoy the show while you sit in your own rotting regret. Whoever she is I hope she treats you well, because I certainly wont. Thank you for releasing me so easily, it showed me your truth. Farewell and blessed be your night.

How did we become so complicated? So unorganized, that despite my pretty metaphors all you hear is lies. What happened to the soul who was rooted into mine so deeply that you knew the words before they entered my mind? I've always loved you and I always told you but you're faith wasn't even a seed. Now that I finally have you, you betray me with your angry pleads. The darkness that covered our eyes, the lust for blood inside our hearts, everything I built in your honor, now is being shredded apart!!!!



You deny me, you speak to me in riddles, you're favorite game is manipulation and I am just a pawn on the bottom of the chess board, like a stale razor in a cupboard, you find me useless! These feelings burn inside of me... I'm fukk'd up over you for eternity



I'm hurting as my guts are spiral-ling down, I can feel the screams within my bowels. You use to be the only thing I could call my home, my haven my love my manifestation unknown. You're biblical name possessed me but it's your demon that drives me insane. We were lovers without a title, we were sinners without a cure, we were everything and anything, but you decided I was a bore. I don't know if I can even grasp it. How the hell did I ever allow this blasphemy to happen?



You deny me, you speak to me in riddles, you're favorite game is manipulation and I am just a pawn on the bottom of the chess board, like a stale razor in a cupboard, you find me useless! These feelings burn inside of me... I'm fukk'd up over you for eternity

*inspired by the one(s) who think I am not good enough and therefore have left me to my own devices - may I have mercy on your soul next lifetime*



All I could ever be is by your side, you're consort and mate for you are my pride; my trophy, my muse, my utter ideology of perfection without even the slightest flaw, my metaphorical heart breathing and walking, a manifestation of my inner sexuality (alive)

All I could ever say is how hopelessly devoted I am to you, how I need you but how I've tasted darkness and know without a doubt that all obsession (and love) comes with a price so I'd suffer for you. I'd drown in my own tears and blood to show you how exquisite it is to be someone who even held the honor of meeting someone like you.

All I could ever do is adore you, with every fiber of my physical being. Even walking away from me; calling me crazy, mad or socio... Telling me all my talents and words are lies, comparing my life's work to subordinate similes. Even still I refuse to find anything wrong with you.

You deceived me when we first met, I judged you not. You cut me with your anger and still I couldn't harm you. Now you abandon me with nothing but the bitter taste of your malice and all I could ever believe is "this is fate and I welcome it because in some future life I will have you again and I will murder you should you leave me so that our destiny will then be reversed!"