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this is a dramatization of what I wish someone would write about me - this is not something that someone actually wrote me. thanx for reading tho



All I saw was a picture of her on a computer screen but she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I don’t mean to say she looked like a model or a celebrity but something about her was different and alluring. I’m pretty sure most people would agree she had a mouth that was envied. She was chewing on pearls and her lips were full and generous. They had a rose tinted color. So relaxed they were, almost like she had chewed on jewels before. I’m positive she could have, if she wanted to with those gorgeous puckers.

No the thing that attracted me to her first and foremost and still does is her eyes. The darkness that seems to be haunting from behind them, I see ghosts in her eyes. She is the girl I spent my whole life dreaming about. Immediately I need her. It’s too crazy that everything below her photos is exactly what I thought. Have we met before long ago in some ancient time that maybe my soul is just remembering? No, it couldn’t be. We’re too far away and karma wouldn’t do that, would it? Only in America would you find someone as mixed and lovely as my Honey.

My name is Mikael and I’m obsessed with a girl I met on the internet. It took me a whole hour to think of the words to say, how to phrase them and send her a short but simple message hoping she would reply. In all my life I never waited so impatiently. Something in my heart of hearts told me that, she would respond, it was fate. How was I so assured I though? Nevertheless three days later, there is was. Her little photo in my inbox and a note that made my head spin, does she know she already has my heart? The succubus of my dreams was right here, I had to make sure…

It took us awhile before our schedules allowed us to go online at the same time and video chat. It was HER. I couldn’t believe it and her photos didn’t do her justice, she was stunning. Even the way she breathed was sexual. Everything about her illuminated her even more gracefully, from the arch of her drawn on eyebrows to her bright black eyes, the way you might think she poses her mouth like a duck but honestly that’s how her lips are shaped. The length and curls of her natural hair and the movements she makes, she will touch her face, her neck, her collar bone so gently, it’s divine. Why was I so aroused by this demonic woman?

The dreams I had about her from that point on where always beautiful laced in her blood. I realize how twisted that sounds but she loved it. She’s rather gothic and morbid but I loved that about her. She uses words in a way I didn’t think to use them before, as she says I do. Though I am no writer like her, just a man under her spell like the many she has, as well as women. That thought still eludes me, she fancies both genders… at the same time it makes me uneasy, and what if she doesn’t prefer my equipment.

Obsession, unlike anything I ever felt before. When she talks to me it’s only me and I love it, I crave it and can’t stop thinking about her. It’s a spell I don’t want undone. A love so possessive I wouldn’t mind the damage, the violence and burn if only for a few more moments to enjoy it. Never have I wanted so much too please somebody else, it’s always been about me. She used a clip from her favorite movie to describe it best. Original Sin, where Vargas asks, what is the difference between love and lust, and his buddy explains it and Vargas replies ‘I want to give her the world and then take it all from her.’ I am Vargas and she is my Bonnie Castle.

I must have masturbated to her image in my head a million times. Pausing my thoughts and heartbeat just to hear her saying my name again and again in my mind, but I do admit, she gave me a choice. It seems so ridiculous when she asks the question ‘Do you want to me by victim?’ and you scoff and reply ‘of course.’ But burning in desire later you realize, she knew all along what she would do. She raises a God from your ashes and then destroys him. Her smile is all it takes, but you’d never seen it coming from her piercing black eyes.

No word again. I’m not surprised. I dreamt about him but even in my dreams he left me. There I was in a hotel room looking down on a beautiful paved road. It was so cold. I did research into the weather there; its freezing compared to that of California climate. I hadn’t told him I was there, my laptop was on the desk and I waited to hear the sound of a message from it. In one hand was my coffee and the other was playing with my curls. Maybe it was because I had seen beautiful countryside before, or maybe it’s just the whole theme seemed much too romantic for me but I knew I would never be right for this place. My home was California. It was the place of my birth, my abandonment; my running away… it had my deserts, my heat, the vivid pastels of sunrise and sunset. I didn’t want to be there but I needed to know him, an unsettling desire. That mistake and heartbreak I couldn’t escape.

I heard the sound and my eyes turned to the computer. For a few moments I didn’t want to answer back. Suffer you cruel heartless bitch. I don’t hear from you for day’s maybe you don’t deserve to know I’m in your country. I smiled what if he saw me at a pub and recognized me. I shook my head, he wouldn’t. They never do. I walk to the laptop and reply simply ‘I am here.’ I wait for the call. I show you the hotel room and the view outside; I even give you the address. Your voice changed so much. I didn’t think you were excitable. You tell me your coming and I give you the information needed and then I place the key outside the door while I freshen up.

It seemed like forever, as I waited but maybe you were also getting ready. Idk. I didn’t ask how long it would take for you to arrive. I fixed my makeup and decided on something provocative to wear. After all, it was only me and you in the comfort and security of my own hotel. I grabbed my laptop and lay on the bed and chose some music I thought would be appropriate for a first meeting and made a quick playlist. I began playing it and immediately after it began I heard you knock. ‘The key is outside’ I proclaimed. My heart raced and I tried to act busy even though the fumbling at the door was like music to my broken soul.

My eyes glanced over towards you. Your photo’s didn’t do any justice and I knew I would have to spend a fair amount of time photographing you, that way in case nothing worked out at least you could have some proper pictures for your social networks. I smiled at you in my awe and then quickly remembered how rude I had been. I jumped off the bed and stood still for you to get a good look at me. ‘Am I what you expect?’ I asked. I realized after saying it how much I sound like a call girl but you just walked over to me and told me to sit. I kept focus on the open door and you closed it after being dumbfounded enough to leave it open in the first place.

You reassured me I looked exactly how you pictured me. Although I would have assumed otherwise, I do look thinner on cam. I really wanted to hug you but I couldn’t allow myself to feel affection. I knew it would be my undoing. I offered you coffee and tea but you refused. I got up to get mine, and noticed my shaking hands. ‘Calm down Honey’ I told myself. You leaned back and went through my music, reading the titles of songs you looked at me and laughed. ‘What?’ I asked. You told me you expected me to listen to things like ‘Blood’ and ‘Razorblade Kiss’ I just laughed as I sat beside you.

By the end of the evening I had you begging me to show you my blood sport and I took a scalpel and cut my breast. I offered you a taste you just brushed your lips over it and then took me and kissed me. Fukk I was so lost. I tried to push you on the bed but you firmly kept me against the wall. I took your face in my hands and traced your face with my nails. You then tossed me back on the bed and I looked at you with concern, ‘That’s how you like to be treated isn’t it?’ you asked me. I nodded wearily. It’s true. It was at that point I realized you didn’t want to try blood; you just wanted to try me. Another one off the list, Spanish girl (check) and American (check) oh let’s not forget Gothic (check) and Freaxxx (check).

After my foreplay and short lived sex, you took your dick dripping with my blood and smeared it all over my face. I told you I liked the taste of me on you and blushed. You told me as much as you wanted to spend the night you had to shower and didn’t bring spare clothes. I honestly took this to mean you had a wife at home or that you were done with me and I tried to kiss you but you didn’t want to kiss me. Everything in my body turned sour. I had been your toy. I bid you goodnight and handed you a letter I had wrote you and you left me with the horrible truth. I took a shower and cried. It hurt so badly, even the pain in my thighs didn’t bother me as much as the abandonment. The distaste in my mouth from being your tool left me more wounded than my own blades. I got out and turned on my IMs and answered everyone back to keep myself busy and when I woke up I got no msg from you on Skype or POF. I woke up….I don’t want to be a victim. I don’t want to be a victim anymore!

I reread everything I had written to you on Skype. Most of the letters I could recover from POF and we had the best start to a relationship. You were intrigued by me and I was in awe of you. Now that we’ve drifted apart, I find myself caring less and less about your welfare. Why should I when so many suitors break their schedules to find time to occupy me with their petty small talk. Sometimes it’s only to let me know they were thinking about me. I grow angry with frustration but in this I find the loveliest form of truth. This is what I expected, this is what I dreaded and I’m glad I came into that realization before admitting something I didn’t want to. A short lived little romance but one I most likely won’t forget soon. Might be hard for another English man to get me though, I do tend to get somewhat judgmental after not getting my way. The alter ego in me stomps her foot.

It’s been over a year since I felt the tug to be with anyone. Here in my cruel hour of disappear I feel even more like Aimelysa is trying to take over. When I get the chance to nap I see her doing things I wouldn’t do. She haunts me. Her eyes so black they appear blue, and her devilish grin. Why can’t I escape? I see the little girl with no eyes, the two black bleeding holes who was once me. She points to my alter ego and mumbles something I can’t hear. Aimelysa pats her head and calls to me. She wants to fukk me again, she wants to stretch out my frame and kiss it tenderly so I cry. So I remember what gentleness is. I feel her fingertips walking up my torso, her elbow rubbing against my clit and I sigh. This can’t be right. She kisses my inner thighs and bites me, and I gasp air so fully it feels like my whole body lifts up.

Then as I begin to raise, the pleasure making me cry because I want it, and I need it, she stabs me with my own blade. I feel nothing at first, just a numbness not allowing me to breathe. Then the blood rushes to my mouth and I can’t swallow it, and my right eye loses its vision. My head falls down to look at her smile. She giggles as the blood plops out of my belly. The wound is right below my naval. I shake as I try to put my hands on it, to slow down the process of my own death but I fail. I don’t have the strength and I don’t have the time. I reach out my fingers to her, begging with my whole soul that she just hold it while I pass. My body getting colder and colder and heavier, she looks down on me as she gets up and waves. She doesn’t care…she never did. After all, I’ve always been her greatest victim.

The saying ‘you are your own worst enemy’. That is my alter ego Vicious. Her name is Aimelysa but she prefers to be called Vicious or ‘V’. She is now out and unbounded as my inner core, pulls the blade with the Marine Corps emblem out of my system and drags itself into a corner to heal. Poor honey, lost in her own head and no one will ever know by looking at my pretty lips or watching my fingers trace my face. No one will ever know I am simply bait to a much more insidious desire. No one will ever love me now. I give in to villainy. I give in to chaos. I give in to her, so beware.

‘It was late at night on Hallo’s Eve, I saw a shadow of a man I thought I recognized. I was standing in the corner of a crowded room, watching the bodies intertwine to music that made my ears bleed. I really thought it was you. When he approached me because I looked so demonic, so desirable and feminine I asked him his name. He wouldn’t give it to me, only a wicked little grin of fangs. It didn’t matter though, I knew it was you.



I pulled your collar and we left. I wanted to dance with you but neither of us knew the way to move to such idiotic beats. Out of fear of my roommates seeing us we crept into the garage. I found a chair….rope and chains and bungee cords to restrain you. You sat down in just your briefs as I did the dirty work. I held the electric screw driver to your throat and made you beg…made you cry. I splash water on your pretty little face and pulled your hair, and called you a naughty little English man. All you moaned in sorrow was yes. I got off on how you said my name in your pain.



When I sat on top of you and touched my lips, took off my shirt and grabbed your throbbing cock you damn near came. I simply shook my head No, because unless I told you to, you weren’t allowed to orgasm. You abandoned me and you owe me more than just a mind fukk. You owe me blood!’

COMMENTS

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VvvVampireKisses
03:57 Nov 04 2012

Niceeeeeeeee... Great readddd

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