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Ive been hurt by my mother she was cheating on my stepfather=my brothers' dad for four years...she used to always say that he was cheating in her but in reality its not true...My father had proof he had letters & pictures of her with other men she even wouldnt come home at times she would call every once in a while but it didnt last long eventually she would just pop up out of nowhere just give us dollar store clothes and also hammy down clothing it was misurable i wanted to cry most times they used to always argue and fuss about her not wanting to stay at home then bills would always be another one of their arguements...until one day they got a divorce when i was 10 years old i was so hurt by it i thought they was gonna be together forever. Not long after that i moved in with my mother from her getting full custody of me ,it was a very exhausting childhood i got treated like a stepchild that was hated by mostly she put men before me and my brothers she lied to me at all times she abused me until i was 13. Then thats when all the drama started she started giving me weed to smoke ,alchohol to drink I became very violent i was never in the house or in school most of the time.The streets was my friend i was wrongfully influenced by old friends that really didnt care about me that i got into trouble for. I was fighting in the streets all the time i was hurt by an old friend that had sexual relations with four of my ex boyfriends just because i wouldnt give neither one of them my virginity so they slept with my friend because they knew she would...I was lied on untrusted by my mother when she shouldve been targeting her boyfriends for stealing from her & lying to her having wives and children in other states but i got the third degree for unknown reasons ,my mother blamed me for old relationships that didnt work out she even kicked me out of the house several times in the ice cold snow because of these so called men that were boys in reality...she accused me of not wanting her to be happy...I started smoking and drinking more heavier i even became so angry and bitter i still dont even know how to be happy most times ,Ive been abused by a guy named Darius that was suppose to be my bestfiend of two years i wrote about him as well...My mother used to tell me i wasnt gonna be nothing but a ghetto bitch in the hood broke with a shit load of children living off wellfare checks with my future husband gonna be in and out of jail. I still speak to my mother & love her dearly dispite it all...My real fathers name is Micheal Martin he is pure jamaican he is a murderer he is currntly in prison now for three deaths and yes with all of that he still getting out of prison soon maybe when i turn 21 or so. He has never been there for me he perminetly stop seeing me when i was six years old. That didnt hurt much because all i knew was my stepdad he is a great replacement of my real father he been there for eveything even when i was in North Carolina with my mother 14hours away. He has a new wife and she is a great mother too but it hurts that my real mother couldnt do that i still deal with that pain everyday with the thought why didnt my real parents love me and why such a sweetheart such as myself went through this bullshit so far away from the people who love me they were there but not phisically there to see in 100% detail of what i dealt with but I still fight to overcome that tragety of what happened in my life and i still hold a grudge over it... I think about harming others or myself most times i try to get over it but i think that rage and anger that i have is gonna kill me one day i hope not but its been gettin worst i hope i can get over it.

There was a guy named darius i used to date back in March in North Carolina he was the worst expierience of my life he used to treat me like shit at the beggining of all of this tragic expierience he was my best friend of two years i used to give him advice & vice versa...i ended up catching feelings for him & told him so we started a relationship in the first month we were fine but then the arguements began then one day after we came from going to his court date he was assigned community service & a 500 dollar fine so he started bitchin & moaning about going to jail for 45days so he wouldnt have to pay the fine then i got sick of all his shit & excuses so i put him in huis place gave him the reality of the world told him to pay the fine get his shit together go back to school get his highschool diploma so he can go to college & do what he want after the fact...so he didnt like what i said took it upon hiself to punch me ,me being the girl whoses mother told her to never let a man hit her i punched him back from that day forward we would always argue & if he was mad about something or if we were arguing we would fight each other he said over & over again that he wouldnt do it anymore & i believed every word but he jus said it so i would keep being his punching bag me & my mother stopped talking bacause of him she kickied me out because of him also stop doing things for me because i wouldnt leave him even called me the dumbest bitch on earth for dealing with his ass...so from then on i tried breaking up with him didnt work he became a stalker he threatened my life my mothers life & also my families,he put a gun to my head before tried to hang me ,tried to stab me. We even fought in the ice cold snow infront of people and they did nothing but watch me scream for help & that they please call the police no one cared or bother to stop it from happening he raped me got me pregnant & cheated on me with a girl he met out of nowhere got her pregnant caused me to have a loss of child from me fighting with him about her as well it was a very painful experience i was heart broken i was dealing with a boy who beat me treat me like the scum under his shoe cheater liar & deceiver but he never wanted me to leave him also made me dress in his baggy clothes so other men wouldnt look at my beauty, isolated me from my family & friends...until one day all his felony charges caught up with him & i left him came to where im from originally ,i came home pregnant with his second child but i aborted it i couldnt live with something so evil creating deep within me so i made a great decision and im happier then ive ever been in my life...i spoke to and old friend thats now with my ex darius & he said he had my social security number & hes gonna use the information to kill me little does he know that i have professional murderes in my family thats already gonna kill him i tried to talk them outta it but it didnt work its now out of my hands im not worried at all...My new love of my life Dev'n is my sweetheart ,my gentleman, my king treats me like a queen & never laid a finger on me in the wrong manner said he will die protecting me & my family & i trust that with everything in my heart i just hope he leves me alone or he gonna keep digging his on grave deeper & deeper...But thats my story im now in school with my sweetie tryna get my GED so i can go to college to become a registered nurse and make great money so im very well focused on that wish me the best of luck please ill appreciate it thanks bye