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Booboo Bear the prefect name for my, well you know, bear.

The sound of the sliding doors at Bristol Hospital, the feel of the cold semi hard table cushion in the examination room with the big light hanging over you with that annoying buzzing sound that you just want to stop. It puts one word into my mind as a young 4 year old, fear.

The doctor came in and told my mom that I have to get a shoot for the pain in my stomach and when I that one word, shot I started to cry. The doctor said “Brianna, do you want a stuffed animal to keep

When people look at me they automatically assume I’m dark and weird. Why can’t they see the truth? I’m just a girl, trying to find my place in the world. You wouldn’t believe that there are times that I wish I were invisible. Which is silly, since I do everything to I can to stand out. You know the feeling you get when you know something bad is going to happen, does trying to prevent it from happening really help? Or does the bad thing happen because you tried to prevent it?

I’m not a bad person, I haven’t killed anyone, I (rarely) lie, and I don’t kick little puppies. So why do people look at me as if the world would be a better place with out me? You know there’s a really stupid saying: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. I never really understood that saying so, I have a much better saying: When life hands you lemons, shove that lemon up its stupid ass. What makes people think that you need big boobs and to be so perky to attract boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah winning attributes. I say just be your self.

How does fear become so powerful? We can’t see it. We can’t touch it. Yet it gets its claws in us and begins to control us. Sigh. I hate feeling afraid, and I hate, hate, hate feeling out of control. What is the meaning of life? I think I know the answer. Happiness. I think were all suppose to take our fair share of it and help others find theirs__ whether that’s in the light or the dark. When will the rest of the world get the memo? When someone dies, they leave pieces of themselves behind. I just wish they left me better pieces.

Once I cut my finger (never cut your steak while distracted). It hurt. A lot. But when the pain went away, I realized something. My finger had never felt better. Do you think it takes true pain to experience true pleasure? How can one’s priorities and desires become so twisted and blurred with only a few simple life changes? If I could go back in time and change aspects of my life, would I still be the girl, I am today? Would I be better? Worse? It’s odd to think that if one tiny thing were different, I’d be different.

Society creates outcasts of those who choose not to conform to its ways. People have a choice and when they make the “wrong” one society puts them in a group outside the “norm”. As Tennessee Williams said, “I have only one major theme for all my work which is the destructive impact of society on the sensitive nonconformist’s individual.” Not only is this theme present in Williams work, it can also be seen in high school and also in work places.

Some people are born in a group before they come in to the world. As they grow up and see how things are they might try to fit in a group that they relay don’t fit in. In high school there are groups all around like geeks, poplar, jocks, ect. As they grow in the mind and see how society treats each group differently they will try to fit in-group that the society seems more iterated in. “geek” want to be in a different group like being “popular”. They leave what don’t fit and still feel different.

In high school there was a boy named Jeff wanted to be so popular that he charged his look; his friends changed everything, even his. “Jay”, and became popular but he was unhappy. He realized he didn’t want to be popular, society wanted that.

In addition, people in working places have people that feel outcast to everyone else. When someone works alone and eats alone they are put in a group were people all ways look and say something about them right there. They call the group “not normal”. There is this girl and her name is Brittany who works with me. She doesn’t talk to anyone and on her break; she sits in the corner and reads books. People always look at her and talk about her but its seems she doesn’t care.

So, did society make that choice? Yes, in the way that it gives attention more to one group and everyone wants that attention. If I asked, “What is a geek?” you might say they are odd and read a lot don’t care about what is going on in there head. But I bet if I asked you what is a poplar kid you might say has a lot of friends knows where the “spots” to be are. They don’t do much reading unless it’s to keep good grades they are the people everyone knows and everyone wants to be.

People can find one person who can fit the definition of “normal”. But then they have to ask, “What is normal”? Outcasts are people who are different and forced by society to be alone. Society puts them in the groups and we let it be ok. If you see the news then you can tell which group they are talking about. Say if there was some pretty person and they said she killed someone there is a chance no one will believe them because she is pretty she may get away but if she was ugly then she might go to jail. I feel if people where to be on a show and they didn’t see them hare them only read what they like I bet they will still put them in groups even not know any facts but I also bet that the one that is different like popular wrote things a geek might and when they find out they all are equal some how I bet the society will lose.