Pink has always been my favorite color. I remember on my third birthday my dad got me a bright pink Barbie convertible, the kind with the working radio and everything. Ever since then, the color was the highlight of my world. Now that I’m twenty-two, the colors become far from a favorite. The pink line on that dull plastic stick can be so deceiving.
I collapse on to the toilet, staring at the flickering bulb above me. I try shaking it; maybe it just hasn’t finished processing. I close my eyes and hold my breath. Nope. Still pink. Still positive. Still pregnant. I notice the silence that stirs throughout the apartment. It’s been like that for the past week. Joe left me after three years for Paris last week, along with his exotic French girlfriend. The bulb blows out after a good twenty minutes of me, comfortably posted in the smallest bathroom throughout the apartment. An apartment that I most likely cannot afford anymore, most definitely not with a baby in my possession. A baby. A small infant that needs to be constantly held and entertained. This cannot be happening. Here I am, new to a huge city of what? 8, 9 million? A brand new job, boss, car, apartment…oh yeah, and a brand new person inside me. I think of calling Joe, I dial the number and everything. But before pressing the green button, I think about what might be said. He won’t care; he has a new life now. Well, not necessarily new, but since I recently found out about it, I’ll consider it new. I put the phone down, and think of the only solution I find being effective in this situation. Abortion.
I don’t know much about pregnancy, or kids, or anything in relation to those things, but I know that in movies, teenagers always call plant parenthood or something like that. So I figure it must really exist. It does, and the number stands out obnoxiously in the phonebook, Planned Parenthood it says. Plant, planned, same thing. I tell the person on the phone my entire situation, spilling every detail thoroughly. When I stop talking, she seems completely uninterested, which sends a sense of relief through my spine. The last thing I need is some judgmental secretary judging my life. I make an appointment for tomorrow morning, right before I have to be in the office. I cannot be late to work, and I make sure the secretary is aware of that. Again, she seems uninterested, but this time, I’m even more annoyed. I know my situation seems a lot more important than being on time for work, but this isn’t something I want people to know about. Not my family, not my co-workers, no one. Like my father always said, “If you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out”, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.
I leave forty five minutes early for my appointment the next morning. I don’t know the city well yet, so it takes me extra time to figure out where it is I am, where I’m going, and where I end up. I arrive promptly at 7:02 am, and the building couldn’t be more unappealing even if it tried. I think twice and glance back at my car. I hear a car alarm in the distance, almost identical to the uncomfortable beeping in my father’s hospital room a year ago. I blink twice, my eyes suddenly watering. I dab them and open the doors to this place. Straight ahead, there’s a secretary, (miss I’m not interested in anything) and to my left, there are patients. Lots of patients. I expected maybe two or four people, but there are at least twelve women crammed into this waiting room. Not to mention the woman accompanied by 2 young children, and two teenaged girls attached to their boyfriends. I head for the empty seat in the corner, beside an older woman, maybe late forties, strange seeing her in this crowd. I sit down, rummaging through my purse, checking my watch, anything to make it seem less awkward. My actions must have been pretty obvious.
“Nervous, huh?”
I glance over at the women’s face. Three wrinkles lie under her left eye and the rest of her face remains flawless. Her piercing blue eyes against her abnormally pale skin take me by surprise.
“Ha, excuse me?”
I hesitate.
“You’re nervous about going in there, telling them you want an abortion. I’m Christine.”
She lowers her voice when saying the word abortion. I suddenly feel as if everyone in the room is listening to our conversation. Even the secretary seems engaged. Reality hits me with realization that everyone in here has no time to worry about my problems, they obviously have a handful of their own.
“Oh, I’m not pregnant. I’m just here doing some research for an article I’m writing. I mean look at me, do I really look like I belong… here?”
She looks me up and down, sizing me up. My explanation is completely reasonable. I mean, I am a journalist, and I am dressed to impress. What more evidence would be needed? She would obviously stop questioning me now.
“Well, if you don’t mind me asking, what would someone who belongs, here, look like?”
I’m absolutely appalled. Who was she to use such a condescending tone with me? It’s obvious that I’m better than everyone else in this room. I mean my life actually has sense of direction in it. The reason I’m here is because I have bigger priorities in my life, than, this. And some nosy woman next to me at Planned Parenthood was really the last person I was going to share those priorities with. Before I could answer, she began again.
“I used to be just like you. Completely oblivious to the reason I was given such a gift. Trust me; it’s not until afterwards that you feel the pain of loosing something that had so much potential.”
Just like me? She didn’t even know me! Her stupid advice set me off.
“Don’t tell me how it feels to loose something alright? All my life all I’ve done is loose things, and guess what? They never come back. So once you loose something that means the world to you, give me a call, because maybe I’ll consider what you have to say at that point.”
I stood up and moved into a seat that emptied moments before. Everyone really is staring and listening this time, but I’m too mad to care. I figured the conversation is finished, but trust me. It’s not.
“I lost my husband of 29 years last month. He meant the world to me. We got pregnant once, but we dead broke, and clueless to the requirements to raise a child. I got an abortion. Now he’s dead, and you know what I’m left with in his memory? Nothing. I got rid of everything I could have had, because I was scared. So please, Erin, don’t wait up for that call.”
She calmly walks out of the office, and all eyes are on me. Was I really as ignorant and conceited as she made me feel? All eyes were on me; I quickly gathered my things and followed her out the door. The secretary, Glenda, from her bold nametag, followed me with her eyes as I left.
“Wait! I’m sorry! How do you know my name?”
I yelled, the street was surprisingly quiet, she turned around in disbelief.
“Ha, I took a wild guess.”
She said sarcastically while pointing to at my chest, my badge hanging professionally from my pocket.
“Oh, ha. Well I apologize for the way I acted in there. I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. My boyfriend left me last week, and my father died of cancer last year. They were the only two people I cared about, and now they’re both gone. I’m not looking for sympathy; I’m just trying to be understanding. I don’t mean to come off as arrogant as I do, but ever since I lost them, I don’t see the purpose in showing happiness at all.”
There was a short silence as I saw a single tear drip down her cheek.
“Have the baby Erin. I promise you, happiness will come to you if you do. If you don’t you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering. Live your life knowing for such, rather than on a possibility. When you leave this world, at least you’ll leave something precious behind; along with all the memories you possess to someday pass on.”
“Thank you,”
Is all I manage to get out of my mouth.
I look up at the sky, being reminded of that flickering bulb. Yet now, it’s a sparkling ball of light, reflecting off everything it shines on, surrounded by pure blue skies. I peek at the building, but something on the ground catches my attention. It’s my wallet. I pick it up and am surprised that it’s almost identical to my wallet, but isn’t mine. I open it, to find only two things. The first is a license with the name Christine Barber. I turn around instantly to tell her she’d dropped something, but she was gone. A moment ago, she’d been 2 feet away from me, and now she had vanished. In confusion, I looked back down at the wallet. Behind the license, a small, wrinkled piece of cardboard lied with the word, “Hope”, engraved on to it.
That’s when it hit me. My father left me with memories and advice I’ll always cherish. Joe left me because he knew I’d survive on my own. Everything happens for a reason, and that beautiful pink line was the answer to all my problems. Bringing something new into this world, all on my own, and it seems insane, but not impossible. When I leave, whenever that may be, I want someone else to know I left them with something special in my remembrance. I have to have hope for a better tomorrow. Hope for an amazing future. And that’s all I need.
Evil, what is evil....? Is evil a person…? Is evil a thing that takes total control over you? The only thing that I know is that you have been my best friend since we’re little, and now you’re acting all wrong Ichijo, what has happened to you?
“Hey, Ichijo are you going to Aido’s party tonight? I hear that we’re going to make someone cry to their mom! You in?” said Yuki. “Maybe, If I do who are you going to make cry?” said Ichijo. “Well its ___ Yori-chan___” said Yuki. (Ring, ring) “Hey Yuki tell Aido that I’m going to be there ok and its time for…” (Ring, ring) “…you to go home see you there!” Ichijo tells Yuki. (Ring, ring) “Ok bye-bye for now Ichijo.” As Yuki says as she walks out the door. (Ring, ring) Ichijo answers the phone, “Hello, who’s this?” says Ichijo. “Hey, Ichijo it’s me Yori-chan, are you going to the party at Aido’s tonight? If so do you mind coming to get me?” Yori-chan asked. “No problem, I’ll be right over ok, see you in 15min.” said Ichijo “Ok see you then Ichijo bye.” Yori-chan said. Yori-chan is like play-dough in my hands!
(Ding dong) “Coming” said Yori-chan. “Hello Yori-chan are you ready to go?” asked Ichijo. “Sure am! I can do my make-up in the car.” Yori-chan said, ecstatic to go with her only real friend. “Well let’s get going or we’re going to be late.” He said.
So they finally got to the party at Aido’s house, Ichijo walks in first, because Yori-chan was doing her make-up. Anyways Ichijo goes strait over to Yuki to make small talk. “So Yuki did you get my text I sent to you 5 minutes ago?” He asked Yuki. “Yes I did so she’s here?” Yuki asked. “Yes.” He told her. “Hey every one are prey is here!!” Yuki yelled to everyone. The door opens and everyone freezes to watch their target come thought the door! And the only person who is going to greet her is the guy she really likes and that is Jizabel. As soon as Yuki start walking into the room, her crush Jizabel walks out of the crowd to greet her which makes her blush big-time. (No, this can’t be true; the guy that I really like is standing in front of me.) She says in her head. “Yori-chan would you like to dance with me?” Jizabel asked Yori-chan. “Y-yes I would love to dance with you.” Yori-chan said to him trying to stay calm. “So Jizabel, did you read my note that I gave you today at lunch?” She asked him. “Mum, the note that you wanted to know if I wanted to date you?” Asked Jizabel, knowing that he threw it away laughing. “Yes that’s the one, so what’s your answer?” She asks. “Well, to be honest, I threw it away, because you’re really not my type.” As Jizabel says that Yori-chan stops dancing with him and wants to start crying, but can’t because everyone in the room was watching. “So if I’m not your type, then why did you ask me to dance in the first place?” Demanded Yori-chan. “Come on I’m the only one that let you down easy! That’s why I asked you to dance so I can tell you that!” As he tells Yori-chan. The music starts to play again and Yori-chan walks out of the room and walks outside on the balcony and sees a shooting star and as she stars to make a wish Aido comes out to get some fresh air wily he hears Yori-chan make a wish. “I wish I may, I wish I might, I wish I had this wish to night: I wish that the one person that really cares about me which is Ichijo to finally see that I really do love him.” Yori-chan’s wish. “Hey Yori-chan are you coming inside we’re about to play truth or dare!” asked Aido. “Sure I’ll be in, in a minute.” said Yori-chan. “Ok lets see instead of truth or dare its only going to be dare!” said Aido to everyone. “Ok, first up Yori-chan, I dare you to sneak in to the old abandoned house and you have to stay there a half-an-hour!” Aido told Yori-chan. As they all go to the abandoned house Yori-chan goes thought a window in to the abandoned house. As soon as they know she’s gone Aido dares Ichijo. “Hey Ichijo I dare you to go in the abandoned house and go and rape her because she wants you to see that she really LOVES YOU and she wants you to love her too.” Aido tells Ichijo. “What ever I was going to do that anyway. I’ll be back.” Said Ichijo. So Ichijo goes thought the same window as Yori-chan. After he with in the house everyone outside heard a high-pitched screaming coming from the house. Five minutes later Yori-chan comes out from the house all messed up and she said “For as long as I live, and probably even longer, I will never forget Ichijo’s face!?”
Year after the party Yori-chan has gotten her self a real boyfriend, Aido, he was having another party at his house and there was Ichijo and Yuki say to Yori-chan “Hey Yori-chan, are you cool with Ichijo now?” “Well, if you could accuse anybody of being downright evil, it would be him. And that’s all I have to say about him! I’ll call you tomorrow.” Said Yori-chan.
“I’m giving you 10 seconds. Then I swear I’ll kick the door in,” a mystery men yelled.
The girl quivered in the bathroom not knowing what to do, then she remembered that her older sister would sneak in and out using the bathroom to go see her boyfriend, now if only she could remember how she did it because the window is way to small for her to squeeze through let along her getting through that window.
“Think, think how do she do it?” whispering to herself not trying to be heard.
“So your saying your mom got so angry, she pulled the car over and kicked you out and made you walk the rest of the way home, dude that really suxs.”
“Not really, because we were two houses down from my house, so I ran home and by the time my mom got home, I was all comfy on the couch watching TV.” The son said
“Wait, if you were two houses away why did your mom get home after you?”
“Because she was calling my dad to tell him to pick me up on his way home if he had seen me.” He said laughing at his mom’s mistake
“Your mom is really funny.” Jason said while he was laughing
“Yah, I know.” He said still laughing.
“Just where do you think your going with that giraffe?”
“What giraffe?” the boy asks hiding it behind his back.
“That shitty stuffed animal you’re hiding behind your back. Where did you get it?” His mom demeaned to know.
“If I could talk, what would I say? Who would want to listen?” The wal- I mean I mumbled to myself.
I always wanted to be heard, but I am a wall and walls can’t talk the only thing I’m capable of doing is mumble to myself and trying to hold a full on full conversation with myself isn’t really the things I had in my concrete mind. I really want to talk to human beings and give them advice and to help them out with their problems.
“Oh, how I wish to be heard.” The mumbles continued.
One day a boy who looked like he was really mad about something came up to me, out of the other wall he chose me, and, smash, he had punched a whole throw me!
“OUCH!!! What’s wrong with you boy?!?” I yelled.
All I see are these white walls even a white bed, no windows, a white door but no handle to open it; it must open of the outside if there is such thing as an outside, no there has to be, cause how the hell would I have gotting in here if there wasn’t an outside. I know I wouldn’t have warped myself in such a place like this! So, the question is, who would do this to me and why are they doing it.
The instructions read:
A pone opening this letter you have now became one of the testeys, you don’t know who we are or why you had been chosen, but I guarantee that we know all about you and the power you hide from the world. If you don’t do as we say in this letter we will kill you on moments notice, so be careful we’ll be waiting and watching for you when you finish.
From,
The DarkShadows
Let’s begin.
“She checked out last night?” a man repeated in a question. “Did she say where she was going?” he really asks this time.
“No, and even if she did its, are policy that we can’t tell you for any reason.” The hotel desk cleric told him. They both hung up the phone.
“Dang it, now where the hell could, Sammy, have gone?” asking himself in confusion.
The darkness hides many secrets consumes you and fills your mind with answers you didn’t want to know, so you push it away hoping the light will find away back to you, but in the end only darkness is all you will see.
It’s always there waiting, waiting for the perfect time to strict, waiting for you to feel like your at your most vulnerable.
Well in this case I was at my most vulnerable, when I walked home from work to open my front door to see…nothing, or so I thought, it maybe empty of my things, but it was full of darkness. No light only darkness and I let it consume me. I let the darkness in, let it control me but why do I accept it? Is it because there’s nothing left for me? Is there nothing for me to live for? So I let the darkness take me away to the depths of nothingness that I known to love and desire, to yearn for it. The emptiness of my heart is now full of darkness, there’s no light because the darkness ate the light in my heart. I don’t want to turn on my lights in my house because I know once I turn them on the darkness will turn them all off, so I don’t even bother, I’ll live in the dark for ever to come.
It wasn’t always like this up until a few weeks ago. Things were always happy, I had a great job, a great fiancé; we were going to get married in the summer, but things changed a lot, I got fired form my job as a teacher , money was slow, and soon after that my fiancé get sick and was dying fast enough to not be around for long and everything just started to go crazy…..
You and I, dressed in black and purple. We walk inside to discover a bunch of masked faces. I look to you and you nod in acception. We make our way to the dance floor and you sweep me off my feet. You whisper to me,"Shall we always be together, thy dark princess?" I look to you and kiss you with the passion I have; that is equivalent to your passion for me. " Never again must thou be without her dark prince," I whisper back. We finish our dance and walk into a chamber that, seems to be a violet purple color. We walk to the chairs and sit by the fire place. You kiss me softly and then you rest your head. I do the same and fall fast asleep.
"Darling! Darling, awaken at this moment!" You say to me. I wake up and look around to see the pain in your eyes. We get up, leave the room, and into a long hallway, to see that people are dieing and crimson blood everywhere. "Thy prince, stay close and never leave thee! I say. You get closer and tell me,"If we die tonight, promise thee you'll meet me in the stars?" I tell you that I promise and we make our way through the hall.I suddenly feel something sharp hit me. I look to my side and realize I've been slightly sliced.I look to you with pleading eyes and you look down to me at my cut."We must keep moving, my love. Otherwise we will both be trapped here to hell!" You tell me. I nod and we keep moving while you pull me through. We make it through to the outside of this deadly place. And into a world with simple masked faces.
We run 'til we can't go anymore, and once we get to the place we kno is safe, that's when we realize we arew both bleeding. Various cuts and we've been bleeding out. "My love we are goin g to die! And in our safe place!" I yell. You get closer and cup my face in your hands,"As long as thou is with thee, there is no need to go on in this world." Then, you kiss me and we brace ouirselves for what is yet to come. " Come let us sleep our pain away and let us get rid of our misery," you say. Ihold onto you for as lon g as I can and we fall fast asleep. Then, that's when Death hits us and takes us to a better place. Our love, still everlasting an aternity. I love thee dark prince.
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