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Last night at work I got sick to my stomach and had a bad headache. So, I left early. It was really no big deal. I never leave early so noone got on my case. I think that was good.



The people at my job have no imagination. Take that back. They do have an imagination. They use it to come up with lies and innuedo about people. One friend of mine who will remain nameless was talking about music with a married male co-worker. This friend has high morals and would not mess with anyone married or already taken. In fact, she is still mourning the death of her husband and is currently not looking for anyone else. This was said to me: He was teased about your friend and was upset about it. I was like the only thing they could have in common is both of them are lovers of music. I found out later that was what the conversation was about. I felt he got offended because he did not find my friend attractive. Well, she would not find him attractive. In fact, she is not interested in him on a personal level. He would be wrong to think that.



I took up for her and I think the men on my job have lost their frigging minds. I may spend 12 hours at a pop with them, but believe me, I have no desire to go to bed with them. Most of them could not get me to go across the street with them during a fire drill. I am not all that, but it is obvious to anyone with a clue in their head, that these men are all taken. Why beat your head against a brick wall wanting something that belongs to someone else? This is stupid. The whole thing was dumb and made me angry. I was already sick and was trying to stay at work. This made me sicker. I do not like dealing with things at work that are just gossip. Idle minds produce idle things that cause trouble for those who are not idle in the mind.

Most of my friends know that I am always reading a book . In fact, I have four or five books going at the same time. I am currently reading a book called Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. It is not a new book and I have heard about it. My therapist let me borrow her copy.



The one quote in the book that caught my attention had to do with anger. I do not know about anyone else on the rave, but I deal with my anger and the anger of others on a daily basis. Luckily for me, noone is being violent with their anger. That has happened in the past.



Here is the quote "to be angry with the right person to the right degree at the right time for the right purpose and in the right way." This here says alot. There is nothing wrong with being angry. Everyone has that right. It is not right to be angry at everyone for what one person has done. That is not easy to stop. I know. I have been there done that. I have a friend who will become angry at one person and then be a little witch with a captial B to everyone for awhile. At least she always notices it and makes amends, before someone else has to point out the behavior to her.



Another book I am reading is Cash. Yes it is about the Man In Black, Johnny Cash. I am not ashamed to admit that I am a fan of some country music. The book is good. Johnny Cash could sure tell a story. If you have ever dealt with addiction in yourself or with a love one, I recommend this book. Johnny is candid about his own addiction in the book and does not sugarcoat his own problems. He takes accountablility for his actions. That is something that is rare anymore. I see far too many people blaming everyone and everyone else for what they did wrong. Do not let another put their blame on you and do not shove yours off on another person. It is not right either way and will never solve anything.

Some people like to play head games. At my job, that seems to be the favorite pastime. Some of them are not very good at it, but still try to do it. Why play headgames with people you do not know very well? This is not a sign of true genius. Most sane, intelligent people would know it is not a good idea to mess with someone you do not know well. Just because I work with someone that does not mean they know me. Nor does it mean I really know them. We all put on masks to fit any given stituation. I do not behave the same way at work, that I would at a party with my friends. If I did , I would be fired automatically.



Maybe playing childish mind games is the only way they can entertain themselves. Perhaps it makes the time at work go quicker for them. I ignore it as much as possible, because I have enough to worry with at work. I just hope we never get someone in there that will take their games in the wrong way and hurt one of them. It could happen. .

I understand that Israel feels the need to defend itself. It is in a bad position geographically and has been the enemy of many. There are those who want Israel off the face of the map and all its citzens gone with it. I cannot say I blame them for feeling the need to protect themselves. They are surronded by their ancient enemies and have been the victim of many others hatred. I do not support them killing innocent civilians to weed out one terrorist group. The country of Lebanon has been devasted. UN workers have been killed. Women and children in Qana have been murdered.



All of this is unfortunate , because it has stirred up anti-Semitic feeling in the Middle East. Those who were moderate and would not have supported Hebzollah or any other terrorist organization are probably know wondering if maybe their allegiance should be with the group Israel is now after. I know to many that would not make sense. Hebzollah did not bomb Lebanon. Israel did. That is what the normal everyday person living in Lebanon is going to see. They are not going to worry about the soliders that were kidnapped. They are more heartbroken that their lives have been turned upside down. The whole world has watched as their homes have been destroyed, their loved ones murdered and their lives changed forever. They have counterparts in Israel that have faced the same thing.