The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

It is so good and refreshing to see that on occassion, that good things actually do happen to good people! I have become negative of late, thinking that only the abnoxious, mean and asshole types seem to get anywhere - but I have been proved wrong again, KOOOOOOOOOL!

At times, the sun actually does shine, and things seem to be very very right.

I wonder what people see when they look at me. I try to hide my mood, affect & emotion. I must look pretty boring.

Funy thing, but eventhough work is the shits this week, I am very very happy, almost giggly.

This asshole was rude to the recptionists, so I called him up and balled him out! Felt good!

I don't get it, why some people feel entitled to be assholes - and pretty much ruin the day for other people.

Oh well, such is life.

Spring is here, I am excited about getting my garden started. It rained last night, nothing better than sleeping to the pitter patter of raindrops.

I'm bummed. Used to be that there were always a few people that I would chat with - but ever since the premium thing started, they just vanished. I ought not take things so personally, but I can't help but wonder if they were only chatting with me to be polite. I mean, I am older by far than most folks here, I don't dress goth - if I did bother others by my chatting with them - so sorry. We all have a need to communicate and connect, perhaps VR isn't the right place for me.

How beautiful the day! I think I will go out and till in my garden!

I handle stress poorly. Work, family, health, being sent to Germany - I seem to be getting hit by many small things all at once, and what do I do, I just lock myself into my little eggshell of an existence - what an idiot. I try to be outgoing to those around me, I honestly believe that the sum of my existence is to make the world a better place than I found it. At least that's my goal, and it hasn't been happening lately. No biggie, things always seem to work out eventually. Either I can just ride it out, or I can actively navigate myself past the obsticals in my way. I hope to do the latter.

Went to work again today, sick and feeling like shit. Made it through the day with the help of a student, and plopped in bed at 5:30 - just woke up, 11:30 - wow nice sleep, I needed it bad. HopeI get rid of this damn cold soon!

I am very appreciative of the people I see here!

Man, sometimes being a father is just as hard, if not harder, than being a kid. One of my daughters, despite being very very smart, chooses to not do her school work, not to hand in what she does do, and is not very motivated with any sort of study. She intentionally causes her teachers angst, and why?? My guess is that she wants to fit in with her peers. She wants to be a hottie, a party girl. It has been my experience that girls like that end up as trailor trash - and that is the last thing that I want for my kids. She could easly get straight A's. She does not want to, nor does she see the consequence of not doing so.

We are considering home schooling her next year - it will be a great sacrifice for us if we do. What she really needs is a more positive, upbeat peer group. Sure, you can have fun, and you should have fun, but not at the expense of your education - and future.

Oh, she's a good kid, don't get me wrong. I just want her to have the very best - that's all.

We talked to her last night. She accused us of not wanting her to have a life, of making everything harder for her. I think, deep inside, she knows that she is on the wrong path - it will just take some time.

Until then, I'm the spawn of Ghangis Khan and Hitler.

On a brighter note - I spent last night thinking about my garden. I grow vegetables for fun. I also have a nice little herb garden. How I love Mother Earth - what a joy it is to participate in creation rather than the destruction of 21st century living.

I so appreciate the blessing of this little pleasure that I enjoy so much.

Tomorrow is my birthday. 45 years old, wow, thats 5 from 50! More than half of my useful life is over. It went so fast, how I underappreciated the beauty and joy of youth. So much of it was clouded in melancholy and self doubt. But I'm here, Healthy, not very Wealthy, and a little Wise. No real regrets.