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I feel like I am being watched for some reason in my own house. Why I am not sure why. The fact it is a presence of some sort and not the normal feeling of marilyn's family . I saw a african woman two nights ago and feel her presence for she looked me over like who are you and what are you? She was not threatening so I left her alone. Today I dreamt of her watching me and looking at me back Dezzy. The neigborhood looked at me like she must be nuts. I was like okay. I have had my fill of raceism so I went back inside and I was like surrounded by people who wanted to know who I was and millie was watching me and how I was polite and babies made me show a side she had not seen. I held Maria's baby twice and the baby stopped crying at and looked at me and I reikied him a little for I could feel his little body hurting. The baby was sickly since he was born. Maria is struggling to be a mom again and she is 19 thinking she can do it better this time. The baby was adorable and marilyn saw the baby stopped crying and was fine with it. He is white as I am with blue eyes. ( I was in the midst of hiatian people, spanish people and a lot of black people.) I was not uncomfortable about the being there. I was more upset that I met these people who are apart of Jason's world and he is still over there in Italy . It was frustrating and I was not too happy with it at all. I was hoping he would have been healed already and that we can see each other and such. So I could see little Jason and interact with him again. For we are seriously strangers and how the hell are we supposed to be friends if he is not communicating with me except for astrally. Plus Maria pissed me off when she used my life to harm Marilyn and try to get her on the steve wilco show. I was just annoyed and said to marilyn I don't know how you forgive her but I cannot . She pulled me back in the cab and said it is not forgiveness it is she is all she has. I said she has vicki and your mother. She said she is pissed off at them and well she does not talk to them right now. So much so she did not go with Lizzy to see her own daughter for thanksgiving. Which hurt Dezzy for she has not seen her in about six months. She can see her own daughter but I cannot and it hurts and I saw her eyes she cried and was trying to hold it back. The aunt does not want her to see ng Angel. Who adopted the child from Maria, and now has away of controling Lizzy. Marilyn and Vicki do not talk for they got into a fight and well now she is banded from seeing her granddaughter for she can and yet she is living in a home that frankly belongs to Jason and he needs to kick them out now. It is bother some for the fact is Dezzy does not get to see her for she is apart of Marilyn's life which is not cool at all. So Dezzy does not get to see neice at all. With Lizzy they kicked her out of the house she lived in with them and though she knows what they do she basically backed down and stayed with marilyn for awhile which pissed Vicki off for she thought she would have to come back to her and did not and now they have a relationship again for Angel is a pawn in Vicki's eyes. So she uses her to hurt Dezzy and Marilyn just stopped caring for she literally got a lawyer working on it. So she is over the sister and mother who treat her like shit. Basically onlybecause Vicki had an affair with Marilyn's husband and was pregant with his child and she miscarried it for they got into a fight. Rightly so. But the mother never liked Marilyn and after seeing the hell Marilyn went through she is now looked upon also as dead in her eyes. So I just sit and watch Dezzy get hurt because of the lack of feeling of the fooked up grandmother and the aunt that would rather Dezzy suffer for she cannot see Angel. For she adopted Angel and it is her child now. Maria for some reason did not want to go over there which makes me think something of the connection between the three evil people Maria her mother and Vicki aren't as solid as we thought. After that act of not wanting to be there with them and being with Marilyn and not having issues as she saw and just let go I was like uh. How the heck Millie stayed so calm and smoothe at her house when mischief was afoot all over and she was calm about it. Maria's child crying and not stopping for Maria really does not know how to make the baby feel safe. Then you have Maria acting a fool for she wants something to drink and Tommy her boyfriend can have a drink but she cannot for she is under age. Then Dezzy in the kitchen crying and seeing she is hurt by the actions of Maria not going to see her own daughter. She was calm thru it all. I was like okay this is all new to me let's just ignore the problems at hand and drink pinnaple rum. She did not feel like Marilyn and she did not look anything like Marilyn and all I kept thinking is how is the mother so evil and Millie is so spiritual and calm through it all?! She saw Dezzy move to me and held my hand and stayed next to me for she did not want to get up and kick her sister's ass for not going. Dezzy is 13 years old and is a lot like her mother. (Marilyn) When the anger hits she feels it and that is it. When she is sad the same. They both are fire spirits where Millie not so much she is just like a woman that has gone through a lot and she is seriously calm through the crazy bullshit of family. She was so happy to meet me and hugged me and grabbed me inside at one point when I met her and I was like uh hi. I was afraid to hug her for she was nothing I was expecting./She was nice and saw I was like uh this is bizzare. I was just like uh okay that will have to work . She is just relaxed and laid back nothing like Marilyn at all. She reminds me of an old soul that is native hiatian and is very learnt. She works her ass off and she was seriously sincere. It was a pleasure of meeting her. The food was weird looking so I ate stuff that I recognized and was like okay no fish no pork end noooooo whatever that is. I had to ask what stuff was. Turkey I nawed at for it was juicey but spicey. Beans the same. Potatoe salad the same and white rice is all I can figure out the rest of the stuff weird like and unusal. I had enjoyed what I had and I enjoyed desert. She tried to make a plum tart however she burnt it a little. But it brought the thought of omi. She was always a good hostess and she made people comfortable whether or not they were. THANKSGIVING WAS INTERESTING THAT IS FOR SURE.

I spoke to Dad and Tori and said hello and saw that grandma Jo called and tried to call her but she did not have her answering machine.

It is actually cold enough that I have to put on the heater finally !! yeah! And it is friday so I can stay up late and write or read or I am not sure yet lol..



A very contented kitty

I feel like I am being watched for some reason in my own house. Why I am not sure why. The fact it is a presence of some sort and not the normal feeling of marilyn's family . I saw a african woman two nights ago and feel her presence for she looked me over like who are you and what are you? She was not threatening so I left her alone. Today I dreamt of her watching me and looking at me back Dezzy. The neigborhood looked at me like she must be nuts. I was like okay. I have had my fill of raceism so I went back inside and I was like surrounded by people who wanted to know who I was and millie was watching me and how I was polite and babies made me show a side she had not seen. I held Maria's baby twice and the baby stopped crying at and looked at me and I reikied him a little for I could feel his little body hurting. The baby was sickly since he was born. Maria is struggling to be a mom again and she is 19 thinking she can do it better this time. The baby was adorable and marilyn saw the baby stopped crying and was fine with it. He is white as I am with blue eyes. ( I was in the midst of hiatian people, spanish people and a lot of black people.) I was not uncomfortable about the being there. I was more upset that I met these people who are apart of Jason's world and he is still over there in Italy . It was frustrating and I was not too happy with it at all. I was hoping he would have been healed already and that we can see each other and such. So I could see little Jason and interact with him again. For we are seriously strangers and how the hell are we supposed to be friends if he is not communicating with me except for astrally. Plus Maria pissed me off when she used my life to harm Marilyn and try to get her on the steve wilco show. I was just annoyed and said to marilyn I don't know how you forgive her but I cannot . She pulled me back in the cab and said it is not forgiveness it is she is all she has. I said she has vicki and your mother. She said she is pissed off at them and well she does not talk to them right now. So much so she did not go with Lizzy to see her own daughter for thanksgiving. Which hurt Dezzy for she has not seen her in about six months. She can see her own daughter but I cannot and it hurts and I saw her eyes she cried and was trying to hold it back. The aunt does not want her to see ng Angel. Who adopted the child from Maria, and now has away of controling Lizzy. Marilyn and Vicki do not talk for they got into a fight and well now she is banded from seeing her granddaughter for she can and yet she is living in a home that frankly belongs to Jason and he needs to kick them out now. It is bother some for the fact is Dezzy does not get to see her for she is apart of Marilyn's life which is not cool at all. So Dezzy does not get to see neice at all. With Lizzy they kicked her out of the house she lived in with them and though she knows what they do she basically backed down and stayed with marilyn for awhile which pissed Vicki off for she thought she would have to come back to her and did not and now they have a relationship again for Angel is a pawn in Vicki's eyes. So she uses her to hurt Dezzy and Marilyn just stopped caring for she literally got a lawyer working on it. So she is over the sister and mother who treat her like shit. Basically onlybecause Vicki had an affair with Marilyn's husband and was pregant with his child and she miscarried it for they got into a fight. Rightly so. But the mother never liked Marilyn and after seeing the hell Marilyn went through she is now looked upon also as dead in her eyes. So I just sit and watch Dezzy get hurt because of the lack of feeling of the fooked up grandmother and the aunt that would rather Dezzy suffer for she cannot see Angel. For she adopted Angel and it is her child now. Maria for some reason did not want to go over there which makes me think something of the connection between the three evil people Maria her mother and Vicki aren't as solid as we thought. After that act of not wanting to be there with them and being with Marilyn and not having issues as she saw and just let go I was like uh. How the heck Millie stayed so calm and smoothe at her house when mischief was afoot all over and she was calm about it. Maria's child crying and not stopping for Maria really does not know how to make the baby feel safe. Then you have Maria acting a fool for she wants something to drink and Tommy her boyfriend can have a drink but she cannot for she is under age. Then Dezzy in the kitchen crying and seeing she is hurt by the actions of Maria not going to see her own daughter. She was calm thru it all. I was like okay this is all new to me let's just ignore the problems at hand and drink pinnaple rum. She did not feel like Marilyn and she did not look anything like Marilyn and all I kept thinking is how is the mother so evil and Millie is so spiritual and calm through it all?! She saw Dezzy move to me and held my hand and stayed next to me for she did not want to get up and kick her sister's ass for not going. Dezzy is 13 years old and is a lot like her mother. (Marilyn) When the anger hits she feels it and that is it. When she is sad the same. They both are fire spirits where Millie not so much she is just like a woman that has gone through a lot and she is seriously calm through the crazy bullshit of family. She was so happy to meet me and hugged me and grabbed me inside at one point when I met her and I was like uh hi. I was afraid to hug her for she was nothing I was expecting./She was nice and saw I was like uh this is bizzare. I was just like uh okay that will have to work . She is just relaxed and laid back nothing like Marilyn at all. She reminds me of an old soul that is native hiatian and is very learnt. She works her ass off and she was seriously sincere. It was a pleasure of meeting her. The food was weird looking so I ate stuff that I recognized and was like okay no fish no pork end noooooo whatever that is. I had to ask what stuff was. Turkey I nawed at for it was juicey but spicey. Beans the same. Potatoe salad the same and white rice is all I can figure out the rest of the stuff weird like and unusal. I had enjoyed what I had and I enjoyed desert. She tried to make a plum tart however she burnt it a little. But it brought the thought of omi. She was always a good hostess and she made people comfortable whether or not they were. THANKSGIVING WAS INTERESTING THAT IS FOR SURE.

I spoke to Dad and Tori and said hello and saw that grandma Jo called and tried to call her but she did not have her answering machine.

It is actually cold enough that I have to put on the heater finally !! yeah! And it is friday so I can stay up late and write or read or I am not sure yet lol..



A very contented kitty

Big trouble in little Jacksonville

That would be my title of my life at goes now.

Dreamt about a woman whom was African American and looked at me and looked at me. She could not place me in any subject. She just looked at me trying to figure me out. Since I did not see her as a threat I moved on. Normally I would say that she would pose a threat for she had the look of demon but she was a witch of some sort. She wanted to touch my wings and I looked at her like ehhh no… She laughed and said okay…

Was in strawberries house. She has been on my mind all week after the letter she wrote me on face book. Since I had known her since 18 years old can clearly say that we have had a connection; like my friend Noami and Renee and Simon. All of them I have known for awhile and well I am sure that when I think about them there is a reason. So I try and call at that time. For normally it has to do something with something in their life. So anyways something is wrong with her and she is very unhappy from the dream. Her son is seriously confused not gay not bi not sure what he is and the girl is wild and smoking and pot and drinking but she also has been bleeding so she has been sickly for a while. She never saw either of them coming. I figured she would have one like her and one like Simon for she always attracted the confused ones normally turn into poly type people and don’t know it until they try a three some. Lol I had thought I was bi at one point but than I saw to in lust with men lol.. So in lust I did trust for a very long time. Happened to be she had a child and named her amber… uh fire stone what was she expecting??? But looking at her husband I think the man cheated on her with someone at work. And that to me is nut s for he was the faithful kind until he flirted with me one day and I took it as he was being friendly. I also told him if he ever fooked around I would kill him and meant it. I say it to all my friends husband ‘s and god forbid they cheat on them and hurt them.. Death comes quickly from death himself. Henceforth why I never got married I think. She would have done the same. She has not meant Jason or the others sine being down here and well lol I am almost glad she has not met any of them. I have been engaged 7 times so far and I have to say their families normally scare me off and so I run like the wind. Tim he had a family who was willing to get his son a house and like live with him or near him in TN. I looked at that like uh no. Nice people but no.. Jake uh his family was addictive in nature. Timothy his family was mundane fundi christain. Jon his family was into voodoo and catholic views uh yeah weird mix. Then there was Kirk who was suicidal and missing his mother a lot. He cheated on me and I was like uh thanks no. He killed himself a year later. Ron was military sweet man and a god like creature however he was in a family that was in bfe and a lot of them.. David his family was unpleasant and he died of diabetes. And Jason family of vampires and witches of some type. Not sure why but I really don’t want to go to thanksgiving. I am not sure why but I really don’t want to go..for Jason wont be there. Why should I go to their family gatherings with out him? Hell we are friends and well I am not liking the fact that I am going to this and not staying home is not good. I think it is weird. Plus the fact Maria is going to be there and nothing personal I think I might go off on the woman. She is that one that put Marilyn on the steve wilco show and well it never got aired. Techincal difficulties ( um all I did was a spell to fix the sitatution....)

Marilyn was seriously mad and got new teeth because of the show and that was cool. What got me however, was she forgave her daughter enough to talk to her and be with her at the same table.The bitch used part of my life to how I was treated as a child and how much my mother freakin hated me. NOT Marilyn hell she did not understand where she got that from. She lied with my life! what a bjtc... She is a new level of it and I never say that lightly...

So I have to e in the same room and not say anything for Maria is her daughter.... UH what the freakin hell? This is the most disfunctional and omg freaked up act I have ever seen.

I am disguisted and I dont take that lightly...

Okay what is up with the song birthday sex? By Jeremih… I mean okay does this man think he is the best gift to give as a gift? Or is he so damn cheap he cannot get a gift for his girlfriend? My friend madeeeeeeeeee me listen to this song and I have to say this man has either balls of steel or he is stupid. Could be both not sure.

Then I introduced my friend to Scissor Sisters I can’t decide….. He looked at me like I was evil and I was tapping to the song. Ha-ha I am warped, he is not lol. Got to love a mundane but he really thought I was going to be impressed with this song for some reason.. BLAH!



So we had pot luck and I was disgusted with the food the manager brought so I moved on. I took from the other plates and went on my way. Management cannot afford to get a turkey but can afford to bring every manager over to our pot luck and eat away before our people even got in. So we were like uh yeah let’s get food with quickness. Rightly so; Melissa said it loud enough, as she normally does and puts it out there like she does. She made me laugh so hard I was hurting. I could not eat a lot like everyone else did .. however it was yummy what I had. I get home after finding out my friend is having another kid and another one moved to bfe so I will barely see them. Plussssssssss my next store neighbor is moving in with her boyfriend and so I am stuck with two males who are useless to talk to. Uh not saying all men are useless these two just don’t keep me uh in a conversation very long.



However before home; Marilyn is my cabbie and this is how I know we know each other way to well. She zoomed off and I called her like you left me in the rain to pick someone else up??? You just blindly drive on when I am right in back of you?? She said well a normal person would have called. I looked at her like what the bloody hell…. She came back and got me then got some dude that caught us in the midst of are cat fighting. He thought I was meaning what I said to her. She than called me bitch. I said hell ya I am beautiful ,intelligent, talented, and creates havoc all the time; what is up with you bitch??? She was silent and then said she was queen bitch, I said yeah great come back… The man thought I was seriously hot. I looked at Marilyn and laughed. Got out of the car and he asked me if I worked at the hotel he worked at I said uh noooooooo . Looked at her like dude is nuts. Me work at a hotel??? Bloody hell that would be somehow degrading to me. Waiting on assholes all day and kissing ass? Uh no. I looked back for he was watching me get to my apartment and I felt it. Marilyn was not happy with him looking at me. Plus I was like uh no meaning uh no fricken way.. uh he did not get the hint. She did.

So I got in and my dog made me weak and sick. He made a smelly poop that could kill most people. I actually threw up the potluck and blood not a good sign. So staying in bed and not moving . I was advised not to move and well I cannot say I do not disagree with the dr’s as they did take out cysts on Thursday of last week. I was just shaken and stirred I think between everything and should have stayed in bed for the two days but to be truthful I could not stay at home for I cannot afford it. Marilyn wants me to meet her witchy side of the family and frankly I am not really looking forward to spending the holidays with her family when Jason wont be there.

Eh life so magical makes you want to hack hairballs…

going back to bed



merrow

moon

Okay what is up with the song birthday sex? By Jeremih… I mean okay does this man think he is the best gift to give as a gift? Or is he so damn cheap he cannot get a gift for his girlfriend? My friend madeeeeeeeeee me listen to this song and I have to say this man has either balls of steel or he is stupid. Could be both not sure.

Then I introduced my friend to Scissor Sisters I can’t decide….. He looked at me like I was evil and I was tapping to the song. Ha-ha I am warped, he is not lol. Got to love a mundane but he really thought I was going to be impressed with this song for some reason.. BLAH!



So we had pot luck and I was disgusted with the food the manager brought so I moved on. I took from the other plates and went on my way. Management cannot afford to get a turkey but can afford to bring every manager over to our pot luck and eat away before our people even got in. So we were like uh yeah let’s get food with quickness. Rightly so; Melissa said it loud enough, as she normally does and puts it out there like she does. She made me laugh so hard I was hurting. I could not eat a lot like everyone else did .. however it was yummy what I had. I get home after finding out my friend is having another kid and another one moved to bfe so I will barely see them. Plussssssssss my next store neighbor is moving in with her boyfriend and so I am stuck with two males who are useless to talk to. Uh not saying all men are useless these two just don’t keep me uh in a conversation very long.



However before home; Marilyn is my cabbie and this is how I know we know each other way to well. She zoomed off and I called her like you left me in the rain to pick someone else up??? You just blindly drive on when I am right in back of you?? She said well a normal person would have called. I looked at her like what the bloody hell…. She came back and got me then got some dude that caught us in the midst of are cat fighting. He thought I was meaning what I said to her. She than called me bitch. I said hell ya I am beautiful ,intelligent, talented, and creates havoc all the time; what is up with you bitch??? She was silent and then said she was queen bitch, I said yeah great come back… The man thought I was seriously hot. I looked at Marilyn and laughed. Got out of the car and he asked me if I worked at the hotel he worked at I said uh noooooooo . Looked at her like dude is nuts. Me work at a hotel??? Bloody hell that would be somehow degrading to me. Waiting on assholes all day and kissing ass? Uh no. I looked back for he was watching me get to my apartment and I felt it. Marilyn was not happy with him looking at me. Plus I was like uh no meaning uh no fricken way.. uh he did not get the hint. She did.

So I got in and my dog made me weak and sick. He made a smelly poop that could kill most people. I actually threw up the potluck and blood not a good sign. So staying in bed and not moving . I was advised not to move and well I cannot say I do not disagree with the dr’s as they did take out cysts on Thursday of last week. I was just shaken and stirred I think between everything and should have stayed in bed for the two days but to be truthful I could not stay at home for I cannot afford it. Marilyn wants me to meet her witchy side of the family and frankly I am not really looking forward to spending the holidays with her family when Jason wont be there.

Eh life so magical makes you want to hack hairballs…

going back to bed



merrow

moon

Marilyn came over and was seriously angry and frustrated and going thru a lot at same time. She was all involved with Vic screwing up with mob people and owing them money for drugs and gambling. Had to get 5000.00 and save the people of his work for they had people at gun point. She was packing and came in on it and threatened them and was crazier then them. She asked how much did he owe and she paid half ahead of time and half at the rest the next day.

He grandson is going through a lot of issues digestive issues that came from a bad call from a different Dr Maria had for him . the poor baby is taking her sins and she does not even know it. The child has a heart murmer and is sickly. Every other day the baby dies slowly for her sins are that bad and his father’s are too. The child needs to be blessed and they all know it. He is five months old and seriously has issues.

Then Marilyn got a call from Dezzy. Her tooth was broken in front. Her cousin Selene head butted her in the mouth and they stopped because she was bleeding not that Dezzy was bleeding in the mouth and a half tooth was broken. The front tooth that literally Marilyn fixed on her on and sacrificed her health fighting with cancer on her own and not having support at all. Dezzy is afraid of her mother and knows she is mad. The family on her other side is scared and rightly so for she cannot take that on top of all she has been going through with Jason and with little Jason and her sister and mother freakin taking advantage of her and so forth and so on. Since June she has gone through a lot.

But she was so seriously mad she told Jason to send money to pay the bills and said or you can die for all I care. She hung up on Jason. Her words are not helpful to his healing process so I burning ten candles.

I burned sage and oregano the home and she calmed down a bit. She stayed till 1030 pm to calm down or she would be going to jail. She said it and venting and all I could think is let her vent for she is pissed off to a new level. Watched some family guy and zoned out

For harming people. She harmed Vic for he was bitching about the money not being there and she told him to shut up for the money is going through her business and she told him after what I have gone through for your stupidity you are yelling at me? If you don’t shut up I will kill you and your family all of them so I never have to handle a stupid person of your family again. She punched him in the mouth and he left bleeding in the mouth.

Her eyes are golden brown and she is in pain and anger and wow is all I can say. She is transforming into herself and she is burning up in flames by 200 am. She has no peace and she needs a vacation badly. She was told she would be going through a lot with the sanitaria rituals that she needs to do and well it does not sound like she can take both at the same time. She cannot cut her hair off according to uncle joe if she does something will not go right in her process. She is going through madness and she is hurting badly right now and cannot do both or she could hurt herself. That is what I was seeing with the circle of flames and her falling from a blue flame. But she was in flames.

I am concerned for Jason for she was pissed and sixto said she cannot say anything bad and she has been saying and feeling rage. Toni saw her astral realm self and he was freaked out. He is going through a lot he is going through his spiritual quest. So he is getting too close but she has not told him as of yet. What she is that is. Jason needs to be okay and he needs to get better. So he can come here and talk to sixto and get his stuff done. For her words can undo everything we have worked so hard for on his healing and me literally starving myself to make sure he is covered . I am not sure what the heck to say right now. Anubis please protect Jason through this time of madness. May no words harm him and may he heal and continue to get healthy and whole again.



anyone have a good day let me know

moon

this morning was a day I should have stayed in bed day



I am stuck in pain but with my dog outside lock myself out of my apartment. Glad that I did not have to go to work lol

thank god for human habits . I noticed alot of habits from the neighbors and watching people and such.



Then both my mary kay appointments fell through and thennnnnnnnnn I noticed the laundrey.



My god daughter got harmed by her cousin and well I want to harm the cousin on a new level of ebil

She lost a part of a tooth because of it..

She lost her front teeth by an accident so she is now worried about her mouth about thanksgiving. Marilyn was more angry then her.

I was surprised. for this was something new to me Dezzy does not want to harm her she just wants to et away from her..

I have been dreaming some fooked up shit and I have never seen this in movies so I know something is up with the lay lines of FL.

I see in fragments for example a killer was on the loose but a nun was chasing after him and wanting to capture him for he killed her beloved father. She got close enough he was toying with her and made her see blood on all levels. She saw Jesus bleeding and Mary bleeding of his doing.

Saw a ship full of murdering sea people. Killing off seals and whales and sharks and who stopped them some other country bombed the shit out of the poachers from hell. All I did was sit on an island and watched them die and get eaten by the same sea creatures they killed.

Another fragment being in a stale and dark grey looking place. I was placed in this room with people who were given swords and such and was told to fight me. I looked at the two men and three women and smiled at them I think like Wednesday in Adams family. They were uneasy and did not know what to do the women I looked at and growled at them and slammed them with my wings. Took one of their swords pulled my wings back and board sword fought with the two men who were stronger and taller but I knocked them down and grabbed the sword I thought was suited better for me for I felt two more men. I turned and heard laughing from one and whimpering from another. I turned and saw in the dark a man who he was. He had long black hair curly and amber brown eyes. He was taller then me the other one that whimpered was blue eyed and black haired. He said very good gypsy queen blood of my blood. You are worthy. He touched my forehead and I woke up.

Then I saw Marilyn in a ring of fire and she was fighting something in the darkness that I could not see and she was flaming up and making a warrior stance. I looked at the darkness and saw nothing then all of the sudden she got hit by a blue flame and got knocked on her ass and she laughed



Life is okay work is the same cubical hell

Jason is finally out of icu and is now doing rehabilitation. He has gone through a lot. I found out he got motivated after the prayers where done.

I dreamt that he came out of no where and he was walking tall and healthy and he came to see me and we talked on the couch about all that he was coming for me. I looked at him and said but you have changed and you have to heal that. He said you are not staying over here and I snuggled with him and said okay..

Not looking forward to thanksgiving and such. Marilyn and Dezzy where like you are coming with us to dinner. To a sisters house. I am like uh okay thing is different. None of the family wants to meet me but the notorious uncle Toni and I am going to the sister’s house with them? UHHHHHH okay. Weird..

So that is my world for the most part in the nutshell. Started researching dad’s side of the family since I don’t know much about them.



moonkitty

Today I saw a hawk go after a black cat and then let go of it for it was fighting back. Then the hawk got gang rushed by 5 ferrel cats and flew the fuck away. Saving the cat from impending doom and probably. It just goes to prove cats rule and hawks drool .

My day at work was quite pleasant I got my work done and helped a coworker that was floored with follow ups as I call it and I got the job done for the one day which was cool. She could not breathe for she has so much stuff and lol she is a singer. I got myself ready to go for Renee and our hang out times.

Sometimes it is just nice to be well endowed weg. I had cosmosssssssssssssssss a lot of them and paid 18.00 $ for dinner and take out for the dog. I did not even get dressed upppppp. Man there were older men that were hot and single. I was watched and lol looked like crap. Listening a really bad conversation with renee having to deal with her family. Drinks kept pouring and food under 20.00 and I got to see rugby. Hell ya

It was nice 3 hours of drinking talking and feasting loving it. I must go back to that barrrrrrrrrrrrr. WOW.

Dreampt



I am having vivd and weird dreams and it has nothing to do with anything I have watched but eating who knows.

I have been dreaming of alliances of werewolves and vampires and old magicians and the world that might be all in my head but some how are really and a woman growing up in al but killing for sport when she got older.

I think what it is .. Is lack of sleep and getting the impurities out since I have clenasing my body alot lately.

marilyn and family

I am getting backlash it seems with Marilyn someone had of her family and she is still calling me her daughter inlaw . Jason and I are just friends now so he can focus on just healing so I am focusing on me mostly.

She claims leo my dog bled on her car seat and shedded all over. When I took leo to the vets. Looked at leo and he is not bleeding so I am going reiki leo again. Once I am off phone with her. She might be getting the cab company for the owner is her cousin and he is not handling his business well . She may have to stay here for a long time.

She is not going to be happy. She was trying to get the home land Italy but this will really fook her over. She might be here for along time. She does not want to be stuck with it.



Jason is healing better

Have not heard from him since we are friends. But I sense he is feeling better and I feel him now so his brain is functioning properly

Little Jason is doing well in school.

He wants to come here for vacation and that would be weird. For he sees me as his mother.

Though we were going to get married in december and such it has turned to something different for me. Jason jr sees me fully as his mother and wants me over there in Italy.

If I go I am screwed. It would be a cage I am not used to.



Work is the same nothing new or improved people are leaving or quiting one or the other.

Playing with Mary Kay again for I miss having fun and enjoying myself. I think that is why I do it actully for it is fun.

lol I scared the cop for he had his high beams on and I wore sunglasses walking my dog and all black. 300am

He stopped me and said either I am on something or crazy. I smiled and asked have you ever walked in the darkness and some stupid fuck puts their beams on high for they think the road is their domain? Then you get blinded and walk face first into a cobweb?

He said women have been getting raped around here how do you think youwill protect yourself. I smiled my dog may get hurt in the process of the three men in a car but asure you they would be hurting more so as would their car.

He said how so?

I whipped with my miltary knife and said knock the biggest one down by stepping on their shin then kneeing in the balls and hit him in the juglar.

He said you said if you are miltary you could go to jail for that. I loved so hard and said truly do I look like someone who would go to the miltary? I said in my case it is self defense. hahaha..

He said how did you get the knife? An ex . He said you know how to use it. I said yes I do. He stepped back in the car slowly and said have a good night for anyone who bothers you will have some kind of hell to pay. I smiled and said have a good evening sir. He asked one more question that was how do I see in the dark with sunglasses? I said see the lights around you they shine brightly. So brightly you can see rabbits and cats and racoons. He said what do you have sonar?

hahaa sonar that is a good one. He was not laughing. He just stared at me blankly as I laughed at him. I said what do you think I am a vampire? laughing louder.

um no not one of those people. I am me and that is all you have to know. He said can I see your eyes? He opened the door and saw my green eyes and black circles around the whole eye color. He jumped back. So you are not on drugs?

I said what are you going to take me down town for walking my dark in sunglasses and a knife? He said your eyes are not normal. I smiled and said henceforth for the sunglasses in the sun and lights hurt my eyes. Now if you will excuse me my dog needs walking. Walked away he turned his beams down and burned rubber.

snickers ah haaaaaaaaaa