The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The life of Me
18:26 Jan 24 2007
Times Read: 538

I was born on the eve of October

and was raised in middle of war.

My parents lost somewhere,

and their love stolen by the loneliness.

My childhood never showed the reflection of what it was supposed to be

and never were awaken my spirit of joy and happiness.

Everyday I searched a friend and all I found was

loneliness, depression and bitter truth.

My soul never was free

I was weak, I was small.



Another shade of grey

My youth came bursting on my head.

I loved a girl

and I still remember her face.

A mere angel and I still feel her lips on mine.

She died when everything was fine.

My all life went crashing and loneliness became my best friend

with only myself to offend.

Since then I died everyday I lived.



As life passed I found no reason to live,

spending everyday with wine on my mouth and knife on my hands.

I tried to kill everyone and myself

and found I failed there too.

So many times I tried to kill myself

and I found myself living for no reason.

I used to have dreams that reflected the better half of my life

but what worth of dream that never is true?



Having passed all the days what I have left is my memories

and some photographs of my life.

And slowly and softly I pass away

no one ever realized that I was alive

and no one ever knew I died, except for the undertaker; who buried me.

But a loyal friend always stayed with me throughout my life and went with me to the grave,

He is my dear loneliness.



And this is what my life was

a collection of nothing but mere pieces of memories no worth remembering.

But the thing that makes me happy is that after I lived

I died.

Smile on my face
18:24 Jan 24 2007
Times Read: 539

I gazed through the fields of feelings

And found myself insane.

Of what days should I recall?

Those days that speaks back to me and says

Go away.

But the thing that makes me sad is that

I could never smile.

When everyone laughed

I sat alone, in my halls of loneliness.

Sometimes I get hallucinated

And sometimes I get into cannabis.

I cry, I close my eyes and I see nothing.

The taste of loneliness serves me right.

Like the blade of knife

I’ve lived on the sharp edges of life.

And where I go at last is a place where I fantasize.

Where I am free,

Where I smiled for the first time.

And that was the day when I slept in my coffin.

Thoughts in my mind; in the time of my suicide.
18:23 Jan 24 2007
Times Read: 540

The scars in my face, makes me remember the days of my youth

But now they seem like lost pages of my diary.

The fragrance of my past hunts from deep inside

And my eyes can’t hold the tears within it.

Years have passed and days have gone

Now only loneliness is on my side,

It seems like the sweet pain of your revenge,

Yet my questions are unanswered and answers unexplained.

For loyalty, For Trust or

For Life’s sake should I be the one who I am not.

Selfish, Greedy, Jealous

Is what I am and do I still have to die?

Isn’t the pain I am bearing enough?

Pain seems so sweet and loneliness is my best friend.

Though I recall some friends of mine

Like Tragedy, Disease and Wine.

Moments of hallucination

Are such good time

They are like enjoying the kiss of death.

Am I insane? Yes, but I do call myself a liar

Because I lied to myself

Tried, but couldn’t trick myself.

My mirrors lie and don’t even show who I am

But still my portrait hangs in the walls of my mind.

And on the other side of the river I am walking on

I see my dreams drowning.

Wait. Stop. Is it over?

No it’s just another day without sun.

The sun is lame, pale and only burns my skin

And when my hopes and dreams are executed

I silently kill myself.

Hate Me
18:00 Jan 24 2007
Times Read: 541

Fallen, wasted and lonely is what I describe myself,

All I do is recognize, the devil inside me.

These voices ring out,

Calls out my name,

Pretty much insane,

Do I exist?

Filled with insects

My little brain,

Another mirror without reflection

And nothing more but a toxic waste,

I get a gift of death.

Fear life, Fear sanity, Fear yourself

Fear you, Fear you.

I’d like to kill myself with my little brain

What have you got?

Better get lost

Fuck You.

Forgotten Corpse
18:55 Jan 03 2007
Times Read: 545

I just don’t seem to get hold of my thoughts

Free flying, abusive, rotten and dead.

How long will I carry this for?

How long will it take for this pain to take over?

Is this what I wanted? Is this what I deserved?

Mother, Father

Where are you?

I am so alone, the solitude kills me.

The people all around are idiots

I just want to feel the warmth of you.

It hurts in every inch of this sewed heart.

In every part of me

In every part my mind

I miss you.

I miss the days I spent with everyone.

I am such a fool to have never counted the days I was happy

I killed myself just to be free.

And this coffin is so small for me.

I am six feet under the ground and the mud crushes my head

Yet these days I don’t feel any roses upon my grave.

My Soul, My Soul
18:52 Jan 03 2007
Times Read: 546








My soul, my soul

What have you done?

Don’t you see the day?

Don’t you feel today?

All your mistakes

All your past, is dropping back at your face.



My soul, my soul

What have you done?

Isn’t the pain enough?

All these uncountable stars,

Blame me today for having broken all the promises.

I am not yet surprised because I am not the one to be blamed.

It’s my soul to be blamed.



My Soul, My Soul

Why have you betrayed me?

Why have you stolen my friends away from me?

What is left now?

What is there to do?

My soul why have you forsaken me

Why are you not smiling anymore?

Why are you sad?

Doesn’t the sun seem so faded?

And don’t the skies look ashamed?

All because of me,

All because of me,

All because of me and my soul

Yeah, I deserve to die

I really do.

I am better gone,

I am better lost,

I am better away,

And what more would you expect from a freak?

I just better disappear.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.