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As a small child, I was stubborn enough to starve myself. Such is the strength of my will, and I will NOT give in to my own bull shit now.

I've alwasy said, "If it wasn't for being crazy, I would go insane." Until recently, I'd forgotten what that truly meant for me. I kind of went insane as a result.



I was approaching the edge of a metaphorical cliff. At this point, I have 3 choices; 1: Get back on medication for a while, 2: Just give up and let it all consume me, or 3: Embrace the madness. They all have their good points and their bad points. The best optin is 3, but I haven't set myself to it yet. I've been there before, and I'm not sure I want to go back. Then again, I've been where the other options will take me before too, and I KNOW I don't want to go where they will lead.

Apparently, making sexual advances at me when I'm in a bad mood isn't the best idea. I was so stressed out and cranky that I actually chewed out a woman and a couple others with her when she came on to me. It wasn't like she was friendly flirting or anything like that, she made it clear she wanted to have a one night stand with me. It pissed me off, and I ranted at her and her friends about it. She looked shocked. 3 out of 5 guys and 2 other women in ear shot clapped after I shut up. Go me.



Here's the rant:



I may have the sex drive of a 15 year old on X and Viagra, but I am so fucking tired of being a living sex machine. That's all I get from women. Sex sex sex. I could probably fuck a different woman each day of the week if I wanted. It sounds great, right? Maybe it would be to a lot of guys, but I'm just so sick of it. All you all seem to care about is how good I can make your body feel and how many times I can get you off. Women get annoyed when I don't cum too, but not a one of you ever tries to make it happen. It's like you think having a pussy guarantees a straight guy should do everything to please you and himself, and you should get to do nothing. You spread your legs, and you think that's enough. Besides that, where the fuck is the foreplay? We get naked, we fuck, and that's it. For that, I could masturbate and get more satisfaction. It just kills me that I can get laid so easily, but I can't find a woman around my age who wants more than sex or a casual arrangement at best. Hell, I'd settle for some passion at least. No, passion and lust are NOT the same damn thing! The only women I find who are interested in more than sex seem to be single for good reasons. Fuck.