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There will be a time in your life that you will feel so completely alone. Even your own brother or best friend will say something that will feel alienating.



Then what?

The house has done kicked our butts.



My b/f had acute flaming tennis elbow in both his arms, and now he has pulled his back and can't even stand up straight.



Now we both have back, knee, and elbow problems to add to my neck and wrist problems. Problems and injuries abound. Thankfully, the room-mate is still putting two hours or so a day on the house even though my b/f and I are injured and down for the count for a little while.



It seems, though, that there has been nothing new done in over two weeks here. The room-mate is passive/agressive and anal-rententive. He sands and muds over the same spot 100 times and conveniently forgets what we tell him needs done, and only does what he wants to do. Even though we see him dressed in his work clothes, there is no visible progress at all.



We are losing the war here and with our increased apathy goes our cares about getting this house legal and warm.



I am still the only one making money, because the b/f and the room-mate are supposed to be making the house their full time job. (But of course full time means as many hours as they can... which adds up to about 15 hours a week.)



I turned to them the other day and said, "Do you realize that neither of you two men have held a job in over six months? I was just wondering, how does it feel?!"



I'm so jealous....



I'd tell you I've been working on my inspirational column too, but for some reason I'm not very inspired lately. I was totally amazed that I was able to produce a brand new writing for last week's column. I have no idea what I will do for this week.



Don't mind me, I am just practicing pointless and futile worrying.



Now for the planned solution:

I am going to give my next paycheck almost completely over to our friend's dad, and ask him to work on the house for us for a few days. Then we will see visible results, and hopefully that will re-ingnite our sparks.



I want to stop this dreaded downward spiral. All three of us are achy, injured and sleeping way too much, and I know that our state of mind is half the problem.



I believe: With renewed passion comes renewed energy and healing.

Do you want to know a secret?



Now, isn't that an enticing title? Marketing at its finest. Its magnetic power is right up there with "Do you want to know what he/she said about you!?" I generally try to avoid anything entitled as such, but goshdarnit, it finally sucked me in....



I finally watched "The Secret."

http://video.google.co.uk/videosearch?q=the+secret+chapter



This is a very good program which puts the basic principles of manifestation into a dramatized movie format in such a way that everyone can relate to it and start to use it effectively in their lives.



Now, I've been reading people like Carolyne Myss, Dyer, Chopra for a few years now, and the concepts of manifestation, power of positive thinking, selecting your birth parents before your birth as the ones who will give you your next hurdles to overcome, the concepts of "dis-ease," the idea that it is thought and energy creating illness and healing in the body, and finally the idea that you can change yourself, and find that others around you have automatically changed to create "balance" - these are not new ideas at all. These ideas are older than the great pyramids, and have been restated as many times and in as many words as the human mind can think to utter.



However, it's really nice to see all of the specifics outlined so powerfully, so dramatically and so concisely in one format! What it has taken me years to piece together from multiple sources, this video guides its audience through in less than two hours.



In other news: I've heard this is a scientology video?

Neverthematter, it's still good information in a presented in a

useful and clearly understandable medium. And so I say, "Well done. Well done, indeed."



*Applause*



In a somewhat related anecdote: I found that the video did answer one question that has been plaguing me for most of my life... While watching this video, through no fault of my own, my mind found itself derailed on a segue thinking, "So THAT'S why my eyelid always knows when to blink BEFORE something hits it!"



I love my mind. It certainly keeps me entertained.



-Rebekah Faith

"Inspiration, your muse, is hiding just around every corner -

waiting for you to ask your questions and to open your ears to hear the answers." http://www.RebekahFaith.com

Death or Insomnia Awaits....

I just had to twist the old "Red Dwarf" quote: "Death or Insanity awaits."



I am suffering from a minor bout of insomnia, mostly because of two cats trying to bend the laws of physics, room-mate coughing fits, a bit of an anxiety attack making me think, "Am I having heart issues?" and ...I am having doubts.



If I remember myself correctly, it would seem that every time I get a good idea - a week or so later, I tend to doubt myself. Is this really "IT!" I felt it was... I mean, I feel it is... I really do, but who am I to inspire others? What is so special about my writing, my poetry, my art that will make others want to read or buy my products?



Did I ask God's permission to do this, is this my "path" -or am I just running off in a random direction again, destined to fail?



As I write this, I cannot believe how ridiculous it sounds, but hi and lo, the internal dialogue in my head is so valid; and so true to me!



Geez, I think I need help!

Like I said, "Death or insomnia awaits." And now that it is almost 9 am, I will try to sleep again.



*shakes head and runs off to bed*

I must be made of sterner stuff...



Linda Forsythe, owner and founder of http://www.mentorsmagazine.com/ contacted my b/f, Ogunshi, out of the blue, and friended him and offered to help him find the right venue to publish his "Slave to Society" article.



The irony is I am actively looking to get my inspirational pieces published, and I am working on this project every day adding friends, writing to groups, etc.

--OUCH!



Now my b/f is a good man, he wrote her back and let her know that I am looking to get some of my inspirational pieces published, and pointed her to my page. So, she contacted me, but gave me a bittersweet piece of candy to chew on. She said I am gifted, but have much work to do on myself before I can realize success; and, she said I should continue my writing.



Now, I have been "healing" for many years, and to hear something like that from a mentor would almost be a crushing blow, except for this quote on her mentor's magazine website.



"Move forward BOLDLY IN FAITH toward your goal; (never wavering) and MIGHTY FORCES will come to your aid." ~~~Linda Forsythe, Founder, Mentors International, LLC



--didn't Charlie Chaplin once come in third place in a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest?

Full of Poo Productions Presents...

A prediction for Geminis.



If you are in the Pittsburgh area, and you were to go outside and look UP, you would possibly see the largest harvest moon halo that you've ever seen in your life.



Back in days of old, the Native Americans used to look at this and nudge their brothers and say, "Let's play trick on white man." They would proceed to get together the largest rain dance troop they could find and put on the most elaborate show that they could possibly host. The chief would then raise both arms and look up, count the number of stars and predict the number of days until the bad weather arrives.



Looking up, I see that it is rather overcast, so I cannot be exactly sure, but I predict that will be hit with an onslaught of weather between 4 and 6 days. If it is cold enough it will be a hellova blizzard.



Because the ring is so large, larger than I've ever seen before, I predict a solid month of tumultous times. If Mars or Jupiter were inside the ring, I would predict that there would be another attack on US soil within the month.



Sadly, I can't tell one star from another, so I went to consult Sky and Telescope's online interactive sky chart to see what I was looking at. The thing that struck me the most about the picture I retrieved for this particular time tonight was that the moon is right in the center of Gemini's heart.



Take that how you will, but you notice that Orion the warrior lies at Gemini's feet, Lynx at the head, and Cancer at the right arm, might I suggest that any Geminis on our friends list consult Ogunshi (aka: Lynx the Cancerous Rat) if you need council this month.







*please note, I know nothing about astronomy/astrology/ and very very little about native american spiritualism. This is called a "full of poo prediction" because it is exactly that.*

I find it fascinating that as soon as the poetry contest winners are announced, four people drop me from their friends list. hehe.



I have no clue who they were, but I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm not upset, just in awe. As they said in George of the Jungle: "Awwwww." I just find it fascinating, that's all.



However these changes could signal that I am too optimistic; and I give people more credit than they deserve. But honestly, I'd rather it this way than the alternative. I spent too many of my teenage years hating everyone. I'd just rather believe in the good of people now. I'd rather be the devil's advocate; a big fluffy teddy-bear/doormat, an "easy mark" than ever go back to how I felt during my angry teenage years.



I'd like to believe that these four people only added me because they wanted to see when I was online so they could ask me questions....



Yes, I prefer rose colored glasses, I prefer to see things my way. I prefer dwelling in the light side of reason. I still believe that everyone has some good in them just dying to get out. (No irony intended. hehe.)

2006 was such a bad year for so many of my friends... Not us per se, but so many of those we love, so many of our friends... that we spent most of tonight just passing out as much good energy as we possibly could.



A friend of mine and I worked together to double team another friend of mine who was just enshrouded in a black cloud. ...and then there is the "OTHER" situation. One that is just so bad no one can possibly help, they can only help themselves.



There are at least 15 people I will be wishing the best thoughts for as I lay me down to sleep tonight. And yet, I was bestowed the promise of a blessing myself from one of those I worked on; and I can actually feel its beginnings....



It is not supposed to work until I fall asleep, but I can already feel the change.

The cold hard ball of anger inside, my deepest secret.... the stone that weighs me down within... It is currently in process of undergoing an alchemy. If I am the conductor of a musical intercourse, with each movement I make, with each person I make a connection with, with each soul I wish goodness upon.... this ball of anger is being transformed into a butterfly.



I wish that there were just one person on my friends list that could truly feel and truly understand what I am trying to say....



OK, let me try it another way. This pseudo-"reiki" thing. This energy work thing... I find that I am helping people, really helping people... According to THEIR word, not mine.... and even a greater gift is bestowed upon me as I do this work; the wounded healer finds that her wounds are healed in the process.



No seriously. I'm not crazy. The stone inside; I feel that it is starting to lift.



--and as my stone is lifted, I can see and feel the pain and heaviness of so many others as they desperately cling for dear life to their stones. It's just amazing how we all cling to our stones, isn't it? We must feel that we will drown without our stones. Silly, huh?