The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

The story is thus. Barnabas Collins (Depp) is a wealthy youngster who lives with his well-to-do parents in their self-titled town of Collinsport. The time is 1752. The Collins family has taken 15 years to build their dream mansion. Barnabas’ true love is Josette DuPres (Bella Heathcote), but he carries on a torrid affair with one of the house maids, Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). When Barnabas chooses Josette, Angelique becomes angry. It doesn’t help matters that she’s actually a witch. She soon curses Barnabas to live as a vampire for the rest of eternity, entombs him in a chained coffin, and there he stays for close to two centuries. The next time Barnabas sees the light of day it’s 1972.

Nothing has been spoiled as of yet, since all this is explained in a quick flashback overview at the beginning of the movie. After Barnabas rises in 1972 he finds that the Collins family line is still alive and living in his beloved mansion, although now they’re not as rich. Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Michelle Pfeiffer) runs the household as the mother. She has one kid of her own, Carolyn (Chloë Grace Moretz), who is a full-blown hippie. Her brother, Roger (Jonny Lee Miller), is a money-grubbing thief who cares little for his own son, David (Gulliver McGrath), who claims he can see and speak to his dead mother. The non-family members of the house include Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), a raging alcoholic who also happens to be David’s live-in psychiatrist and Willie Loomis (Jackie Earle Haley), the bungling gardener/fix-it man who doesn’t seem to be doing much work around the house ever. As you can see the cast is varied and peppered with seasoned actors who all inhabit their roles with as much over-acting excess as can be mustered.

When Barnabas rises in the ’70s the movie soon turns toward comedy. How does a 200-year old vampire act in the ’70s is basically the entire middle of the movie. Barnabas sees his first McDonald’s sign. Barnabas hangs out with a group of pot-smoking hippies. Barnabas throws a ’70s party out the house. Many of the jokes feel like tiny vignettes, or “Saturday Night Live” skits about an out-of-time vampire dealing with the technology of the modern world. It’s funny at first, but becomes tiresome.

Angelique, being a witch, is still alive and still very much infatuated with Barnabas. Soon the humor comes to an end and “Dark Shadows” switches tones up yet again to an action/adventure movie where CG effects take over. Truthfully the entire exercise, while enjoyable in parts, feels like Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are doing little more than running in place. Treading the same path we’ve seen them trod for going on five movies now. With “The Avengers” still in theaters and still atop most people’s list of what to see, it’s hard to imagine “Dark Shadows” making a dent in its box office at all. Especially since it ended up being a rehash of the Burton/Depp duo which has sadly grown a little bit duller film after film.

A man goes to many funerals in his life, and as Marlow explains the accumulated deaths are “a vague impress on the brain of shadows that had fallen on it in their swift and final passage.” But,the vision of Kurtz in Marlow’s mind is different. A forementionedin my journal entries, Kurtz is a leader even if he may not always do what is best. I think that the death of Kurtz left such an impact on Marlow because Kurtz seemed to alienate himself from the Company and the rest of the crew. But, once Marlow heard “ ‘The horror!’” he realized that Kurtz was just like the rest of the white men.