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Me and death are arguing yet again. Sometimes I get so angry with us both that I just want to end it all but I know I won't as I love him to much.

So why the arguing?

I don't know it just keeps happening...

I just want it to stop before I do...

Like a pheonix in the ashes I shall arise from this pain. I shall no longer be your slave. I shall feel no anguish though my love and my life has died. For now I join them. And forever let it be written across my grave that I love death!

Although the tears fall down my face

As I hide in this broken place

They are not clear as tears should be

But blood for the hatred I have of thee.

Its a reaccoring nightmare! Everynight the same thing. The shadows, the pain, the anguish, the blood, the death and I love it. I crave every second of this dream!

I dream of him and his death and although I feel it I crave for this excitement. I need it.

He doesn't know how I feel, thinks I am scared and I am. Scared to enjoy it too much.

I sleep now and may I dream some more. Sleep and dream for an eternity!