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today is a day of anger for me. im mad. mad at myself mad at life in fact mad isnt even an appropriate word for what i am feeling right now. i dont know why and i dont know how it started all i know is that i am angrey. today is one of those days that you want to kill someone slowly and not just watch but feel them die. not that i actually would kill someone of coarse. i think it started when i awoke and found that my long time boyfriend had fallen in love with another woman. now of coarse we broke up about a week ago but it still hurts. i dont know because things like that dont tend to piss me off like they have today. today i want to kill mabey tomarrow i will want to build who knows.

Do you ever have those days were its hard to breathe. but the thing is you wanna stop just take a break from breathing, from living but you cant because its like stopping breathing is harder than starting. i just feel so depressed right now. its one of those days were i just dont wanna be apart of the human race. because i dont today. i dont wanna talk i dont wanna breathe i just wanna sit here and stare at the wall. not that i wanna die or anything i just wanna stop stop everything so i can catch my breath. i just wanna stop drowning. tommarrow is what the call the day of hearts and love. its more like a day of heartache and sorrow for those in the real world that know that love is rare and fro most it doesnt exist. for me it did exist or so i thought. but i had to put an end to that because if anything good walks into my life i have to smash it into many tiny pieces with a hugeungus sludgehammer. and thats what i did to his heart. Valentines day scares me anymore. its a day of love but without love its a day of lonelyness and watching what seems like everyone having there own joyful sidekick. it seems to me that st valentine wouldnt have wanted this.











today i dont want to breathe but i cant stop. and tomarrow is valentines day coincidence i think not.