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dear jornal, I will say I had a interesting time this weekend. friday night just threw a monkey wrench in the whole system. Then issues time managing saturday. and tryin to be in 5 places at once. today the date from friday messaged me, but dont see how could do something unless well, I am that low, knowin that the girl will never be with me that way, and on top of that the blonde was just so delicous, and have another blonde that I had met at the beach callin once again wantin to keep in touch and possibly more. I would say I am a baaaaaaaad man. but it just feels so good, it has to be right. but I know its not, I just hope I am not gettin in over my head, but I do need to watch my p's and q's. I dont need no addition crap on my hands, and other thing being is puttin time in to practice with trey since I want to, and he wants to jam with me. for as saturday rp with some old friends and guess some things never change and sometimes in my case people. For the good of me it is a good thing to keep in touch, ,never know when you will need somebody. or like to hang out with someone. but I had no idea, that my life would be as it is now from what I thought when I was younger, but I believe I have my head and heart in the right direction, and maybe, just maybe the wishes I had when I was a kid are fallin into place. I just hope that the good doesnt stop, and the bad stays minimal. I finnally livin life, like I thought I should.

dear journal, woke up with sinuses running and feelin decent minus the pain. I lounge around all day cuz suppost to go to the river. get a message on my phone from bryan last night, about comin over to hang out. I manage to call him to see about what was goin on and he asked again about me comin over, after therapy, but the only thing holding me back from goin was pickin up dads truck after fixin the recall on his dually. come back cleaned up and manage to have a spat wit h mom before headin off. met up with bryan, told me they rescheduled the river, cuz summer was working, talked to him about ex's and the problem Im havin with women hookin up, sleepin with me, and then dropping contact. he said he had been there done that. went and picked up a computer, and took it over to pat's so they could get back up and running. left and had gone to the river with trey earlier but it was dead and was ask by 3 kikini girls if had papers, and trey being him self as we left said he had a blunt, but thats trey. got back and it was already time for summer to get off, went and got her, then watched family guy, and futurama until conked out. then woke up today to rain, and had to run to the truck to roll up my windows. turn my phone back on and 4 messages 15 min apart from my wonderful freakin mother. dont get me wrong I love her, but I am a grown man. called her and fought the whole time I was over at bryan and treys, woke them up so I left and had a 2nd dish of it when I got here, got an offline mess from woman thats out at santee. got a call, the people that are with workmas comp decided after all this time to decline me as havin a case, and still yet to have my mri, but fortunately for me I have started on for the state. cuz I want to see that they can try to fix my knees so I can work again. but got that and the bank straight, and took some biodics for what might be the flu. I hope its not or if it is, that it is gone soon. and that has been my day other then my attempt to lay down, then see a quick porn and relieved myself and got a few mins of sleep, but woke up only to do it again, but couldnt sleep, I hate this mess. but that is it for today.

dear journal, I have but a few problems in my life. Right now I am dealing with workmans comp. The problem with it, is I dont want to be physically challenged as I currently and I would seriously wish for the doctor to go and work and try to fix both knees, since I took the job workin for dhl. I will say that I dont really regret taking the job for as the distance from work and the schedule that was provided. I dont agree however, with the way we are treated by our boss and how we are treated on the job. I know that I didnt go and graduate from Midlands tech to be bullied around by some good for nothing egotistical, white trash, ignorant, sob. I just simply dont understand how someone that selfish and stupid could ever be a good boss. I dont agree with anything about the man, and then here where it gets good. 'THE MAN CLAIMS TO BE A CHRISTIAN" I really think thats a joke cuz if he is true to believe and obide by gods laws and rules, then he would be breaking every last one of them. I know if I had the opportunity to be in his shoes I would but I would be damn sure to make sure that my drivers were properly taken care of and not try to fire someone over stupid difference in oppinion. I dont however, see myself in that position so I am not goin to worry about it. but atleast the doctor is finnally keepin me out of work so maybe I can get better. The other problem I am having is in love paridise. I am really starting to believe I was meant to live my life alone. Granted I know it always seems to happen when I sleep with them, but it doesnt matter how long I wait to do so. It happens every time. I am getting to the point that I will just stay single and just be friends with females I dont sleep with and maybe I will have some friends that stick around.