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Static Between Stations
18:14 Jul 03 2025
Times Read: 30
It hit me today - how quiet things have gotten. Not just around me, but within me.
There was a time when everything hummed with a kind of energy. Ideas. Conversations. Late-night rabbit holes into game theory, deck tech, story mechanics, philosophy... whatever I could dig into just to keep the current flowing. I used to chase the next spark like it mattered. Like it meant something. I don’t know if it ever did, but it felt like it did.
Now, the noise is softer. Like a radio tuned just between stations - no clear voice, just static and faint shapes of sound. Something trying to come through, but not quite making it.
I find myself rereading old notes. Projects I started, then let go of. Things I’d brainstormed for the store. Layouts. Floor plans. All still there, waiting, like they haven’t realized I’m no longer moving toward them. Sometimes I tinker with the idea again, just to see if it still feels warm. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it’s just paper and a name I liked once.
There’s a kind of mourning in nostalgia... not for what was lost, but for the version of myself that believed it would happen. That person felt more certain. Less dulled around the edges.
But I’m still here. Still keeping the lights on. Still watching the creators I’ve watched for years. Still reading, writing, adjusting the same things I never really mastered. I still keep my decks close, even if I haven’t shuffled them in weeks. It’s all still mine. Just quieter now. A little more static than signal.
That’s okay.
Maybe not everything is meant to be loud forever.
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