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I need to vent, else I'll go mad. I cant do this at my usual place. Its about people that read it.



I'm so tired.



Look at it from my point of view, would you? From what you tell me, your at your girlfriend's place DAILY. She make's you go there, you say. You miss me, you say. OK, I say. Come over on x-day and we can chat. Whenever that day comes your always ill. I'm tired of being stood up. I've had enough.



And you. You owe me, you say. Constantly. Whenever I suggest something for you to help me with, oh there's always an excuse. Help me rep grind, I hate it [your doing it as you speak to me so what's the difference?]. Help me on this quest? I'm busy. Ok fine, help me in these instances. I can't be arsed.



If you can't be arsed to help me or come over to visit STOP TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME OR THAT YOU OWE ME!



I'm so tired of it.

So my first trip to the psychiatrist was today. Finally. There was a bit where they were trying to insist Mike didn't come in with me. I think when I started to cry in reception they realised that wasn't going to happen.



I've had more blood taken - for random tests, I'm not sure what. Guess I'll found out next week.



My next appointment is in 6 weeks. 6 weeks! Am psyching myself up for it already :(



My medication's been changed too. I'm being taken of the beta blockers [I'm not sure I like that], but my anti-depressent's have been upped. I hope that will help.



Other than that, not much to talk about. I get up, check my email, and then go lay back in bed :(

So I'm popping my VR Journal cherry. I wonder if I can post without typing in a headline. I hate thinking of things to write as a headline. [edit:- yay I can]



Livejournal [where I've been for a good 8 years now] seems like it may be going under.



This makes me sad. Its been my home through a hell of a lot.



Although maybe starting here afresh is a good idea. Though I'm incredibely wary of writing publicly like this. Having had an online stalker, and only just opening up and admitting my problems makes me scared for how my writings will be received.



I should really start working on the update of my profile :((

COMMENTS

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Ravensbloodzero
18:55 Jan 08 2009

*hugs* You've got my support as always hun :)

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furcifer
13:02 Jan 09 2009

Ahh, right...cherry....now I get it :D

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