We hope to fly but then we fall
Set at 22:41 on June 20, 2009
"One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is don't run with a wooden stake" - Jack Handy
I'm updating my profile. Surprised?
Ranting first, fun stuff later.
The first thing you should know about me is quite important, at least in my own head. I am not a whore or a lesser being than you because I'm female and a model. So don't treat me like one. I'm happy to have conversations with people but my life does not revolve around sex so you'll need to be more interesting than that to keep my attention.
Don't message me asking me to have sex with you or to marry you. Don't message me if you only plan to insult me. There's a block button for a reason. I'm not stupid. I'm about to enter my third year as a university student. I didn't get here by being an idiot.
Right, enough ranting... For now.
Check out this band. They are going to change the face of music forever
Some time ago, I came to the conclusion that my profile was too long but it took a while to change it. Now I'm going through the process again. It will be going through a major overhaul so, if it’s a mess, that’s probably the reason why. On the other hand, it may just be a mess anyway. For now, the original will be in my journal under the very original title of “About me”. The second major version is also in my journal.
People enter and leave my life a lot and, though I am not particularly fond of the human race, there are a number of individuals who inspire me and who have changed my life.
Mentor and friend.
Who overcame illness and did two years of exams in one month.
The voice of insanity.
Three people who made me believe life was worth it.
Who showed me I was not alone.
Who believes I’m beautiful.
Who knows the truth about the ducks, sheep and penguins.
My panthers. People who save my life in more ways than they'll ever know.
Who shared a once in a lifetime experience. Twice.
Who has always been an inspiration to me.
A true inspiration.
The Members of The House Of Nocturnal Retribution
Who make me feel part of a whole.
Who was there when I needed her.
Former flat mate and good friend.
These people are in no particular order and I’m sure I’ve left many out but to those listed as well as others, many thanks for your input into my life.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO
~ Convince people bad ideas are good ones ~
~ Convince lots of drunk people to get on a trampoline ~
~ Give your phone swimming lessons ~
~ Storm off after an argument and fall down the stairs ~
~ Rest your hand on the body of a car if there’s a chance of it being shut in a door ~
~ Try to look scary when dressed in a stupid costume ~
~ Faint in a 3 foot by 3 foot room ~
~ Poke yourself in the head with scissors ~
~ Sit for 18 hours straight at a computer, sleep, repeat ~
~ Bleed over your keyboard ~
~ End up in hospital so many times that they start to recognise you on sight ~
~ Annoy the police ~
~ Let yourself be questioned by the police in a room where you know there to be illegal drugs ~
~ Remain with people who are bad for you ~
~ Stab yourself through the hand with a knife while trying to slice a candle in two ~
~ Start writing university assignments a little over twenty-four hours before they’re due in ~
~ Stay up all night and then go to lectures. For over a fortnight ~
~ Watch the extended Lord Of The Rings box set and appendices back to back ~
~ Dance for over two hours straight ~
~ Dance for over two hours straight in brand new boots ~
~ Dance for over two hours straight in brand new boots without eating or drinking anything substantial beforehand ~
~ Drink out of date milk ~
~ Stick a staple remover down your bra ~
I have no idea whose friends lists I’m on so if you want me to add you to mine, you’ll have to let me know.
If I've given you a low rating and you don't think you deserve it, let me know. You may have updated your profile and I'm always willing to re-rate. If I’ve rated you early in your membership, for example, then it is unlikely to reflect your profile’s appearance several months later. However, I do not plan to hand you tens to people who may join and then never visit the site again.
I don’t automatically give out tens. I try to rate fairly but your score will depend on the following:
~ Content ~
~ Presentation ~
~ Whether it’s aesthetically pleasing ~
~ If I’m having a really good or really bad week ~
~ Whether it has bits of unclosed or incorrect code showing up ~
~ Anything on my mind that day ~
~ Pancakes ~
OTHER THINGS THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T NEED TO KNOW BUT I AM INCLUDING ANYWAY
In 2006 I was told I was beautiful for the first time ever and it really made me feel good. People underestimate the power of a compliment. The person who said it has had a huge impact on my life. I wouldn’t be here without him.
I'm very random. I jump around topics in conversation without links. I do take a while to get used to but some people think it's worth it. Although, even they have trouble keeping up with my mind sometimes.
I have feline tendencies. I miaow, purr and generally act like a cat. I think we’ve reached the stage where I get called Cat or Kitty more often than my own name. I don’t mind. I actually prefer it.
As of September 30th 2006 I have been studying Equine Sports Science And Equestrian Psychology (a course which seems to have a longer title than most of the contained lectures) at Nottingham Trent University. To the horror of an overprotective family member, a seventeen year old was shot dead in a shopping centre in Nottingham just before I started here but I’m not too worried. After all, I come from a country where people are shot all the time. In fact, I was more worried about the lack of internet access on campus. My main thought was "What am I going to do without my daily fix of VR?" Thankfully we actually had a wireless network there, even if it was temperamental. Now, though, we have to put up with wired.
I'm an alternative model. That's why I may have some pretty provocative pictures of myself. It doesn't mean I'm a slut or a whore. I won't have sex with you just because you send me a message. I’m not here looking for a boyfriend. I don’t want or need one so do try to remember that fact.
It may shock people but I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. People judge me because of that and their opinions are rarely kind. Don’t worry though, I have my own vices.
I'm obsessed with milkshakes.
At the risk of offending people here, I don’t like Anne Rice. I’m not going to follow the crowd and say I do just for the sake of it. It’s not that I think she’s a bad writer. I’ve just never succeeded in finishing one of her books for some reason.
I'm very clumsy. I fall over a lot. I hit my head. I bang my limbs against things. It's just who I am. I’m not an abused girlfriend. I’m just a clutz.
A few years ago we got our first ever PC and since then we have worn many of the letters off the keyboard through overuse. I’m now attempting to do the same with my laptop keys.
I’m against animal cruelty and am currently disgusted at the fact dogs have had to be put down because people have made them vicious. Many think breeds such as Pit Bulls would rip out your throat as soon as look at you. They are actually sweet animals. It is their owners that turn them into monsters.
I have a very sweet tooth but a low tolerance for spicy foods. What others consider mild, burns me.
A few years back, I rediscovered Space Dust (Pop Rocks in the American market) and Slush Puppies and it’s been heaven. I’d forgotten how much I loved them.
I believe people should accept others the way they are.
I have small hands and hate the way I look. I also hate that I cannot accept myself the way I am. The only positive spin on having small hands is that Marilyn Monroe also had tiny extremities. She was also apparently a natural size 16 which is quite surprising as everyone thinks of her as being fairly skinny.
Toast just tastes better from the toaster for some reason.
Until your mind is open keep your mouth closed.
I often have ‘those days’ where I start a lot of sentences with “Do you ever have a day where…”
I practically lived in two pairs of trousers for a month in 2006 because the decent ones had to be kept for university.
My hair is normally dyed poppy red (Directions hair dye) but it is currently midnight blue. More people have started conversations with me since I started dying it unnatural colours than previously. It’s also been a great confidence giver.
"Oh no. Am I dead again?" - Piper, 150th episode of Charmed
"We're not the same. I'm an American. You're a sick asshole."
"Good Teenagers" - From the Johnny Depp film 'Cry Baby' - you need to watch it to understand.
"Out of my mind. Back in two minutes" - on a bear that someone gave me as a present - they know me so well.
"Exterminate." - Dr Who
"Everything human has been purged" - Dr Who
"I'm an American" - Quincy after seeing the reactions of others to him shooting at a bat (with a gun) - Stage version of Dracula (with Richard Bremmer (aka Voldemort in HP 1) and Colin Baker (aka Dr Who 1983-1983.)
"I'd rather try dying than die trying."
"I'll live forever or die trying."
"Come To The Darkside. We Have Cookies."
"Your one stop shop for eating people."
Smurpheus pointed to a low table beside his chair. On the table were two small glasses, each roughly the size of a half-pint cup. One of the glasses contained a red fluid, and the other a blue. "You must drink one of these drinks," said Smurpheus. "Drink the blue drink, and you wake up in your bed, where you can think this whole meeting was a dream, and get on with your life. Drink the red one, however, and you'll find out for yourself precisely what the McAtrix is."
Gordon looked at the two glasses.
"What's the red drink?" he asked.
"Cranberry juice," said Smurpheus.
"Right. And the blue one?"
- From 'The McAtrix Derided' (a parody of the Matrix films)
"I'm drunk. I'm really drunk" - a friend at the school formal
"I'm not drunk" - another 'friend' (slurring her words) who had consumed god-only-knows how much alcohol, fallen down the stairs and then thrown up on a very expensive carpet.
"I look forward to weighing your liver." - Dr. Mallard, NCIS
CONTACT: To get in touch with me scribble a note on some yellow paper using a blue crayon and your teeth (no hands allowed; feet may be permitted) and slip it into an envelope. Then, using only your nose, smear the back of a British first class postage stamp with butter and stick it to the envelope. Next, remove your left shoe (it must be the left one or your message won't reach me - for those of you with directional problems (permanent or drink induced) your left is the hand closest to the start button on the task bar when you're facing the screen and the hand which is normally further from the mouse) and shove the envelope, half a pint of cider and a rubber band inside it and chuck it out a closed window at your postman when he arrives yelling "I hope this goes to hell". Your message will reach me within six years. Providing I haven't holidayed in the arctic and frozen to death after falling off an iceberg.
Alternatively, email me.
Enough ranting for now.
Check out the profiles of obsessiveprune and Aphrala. They’re my friends in that other world that people like to call real life. I dragged them here one day and now they will never escape. Muahahahaha! *clears throat* Ahem...
If you’ve read all of this, thank you. I never expected anyone to read it all.
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