BOOM - they are after my goodies and it s coming from all sides!
Im just not going to bother anymore
Weirdness occured earlier, my whole body felt disorientated as if i was on board a moving ship, i was standing for about 10 minutes not moving as this weird feeling came over me, i cannot define the senstation as to what or why but it was intense and perculiar
I came back yesterday and was so tired, i slept like the dead. I have been walking around town today looking for somewhere good to shoot my uni project, its based on voyeruism / exposure. One idea is to try and shoot street artistists at work in the style of a cctv camera, but its posing a litttle difficult as i need somewhere high up to look down on them and to catch them at work without being noticed...i have other ideas so ill see how this pans out first.
My third eye is aching
I'm tired, and frustrated.
Drama in my day, how it happened im not sure, why it happened fall out through the ranks.
My opinion - I am totally sick and tired of hearing about it, listening to it and reading about it. Its been going on for too long and needs to stop.
My earlier conversation albeit childish and ignorant was my inner child saying hey, ive had enough of this nonsense! Iits become embeded within everything to the point where you can no longer live your life without it in some way effecting you, seeping through the cracks like weeds.
Intimidated by it, uneducated to understand it, (even if i wanted to), harrased by it.
Really down today, the thought of being back was correct in that i would have a crap day and be around people that i dont really like. I cannot fake a winning smile and a pleased to see you attitude towards people who lied about our opening exhibition and are basically dicks.
I really didnt think i was the type to hold a grudge but i guess i was wrong or maybe sometimes you should realise that you are correct in feeling the way you do.
I am back in college/uni next week, it is with a certain amount of dread and trepidation that i go. I have been trying to understand why i feel this way and the answers i have come up with are not good.
1 my inability to connect with people in new contexts/environments
2 my own ingrained belief that what i do is good when sometimes it isn't
3 understanding new concepts and ideas not liking them and causing unintentional offence
4 forgetting to eat
5 being pleasant when i am in a really bad mood
6 additional pressure
7 being taught to unlearn what has been a given for the most part of my life
8 turning into a raging inferno
Thorpe Park today was pretty good