The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

ok here we go hun i hope u like it.. so i have this new girl friend angelica tht i have been dating for about 2 weeks now at frist i was kinda worried to start this relationship because she’s in 7th grade and im in 11th so yea tht kinda bothered me and the fact tht she is 15 and im 16 about to be 17 so i could get in a lot of trouble potentically... some of my friends are being fucken assholes about it and bogthering me to no end about the age diffrences.. wat can i say about her.. well she is pretty nice and has a good sense of humor so thts good..although we havent meet yet im stillreally happy to have her as my girl friend.. she is constantley on my mind.. when i wake up in the moring i think about her and if she had a great of sleep as i did.. then ti think about her constantly off and on threw out the skool day, then when i come home i look to see if she has left me any comments then wait for her to im me so i can talk to her and stop missing her.. srry hun im really not all to sure of wat i was to write about so i hope u like this... if u dnt im srry

i have the feeling tht almost nobody in this very fucked up world cares about me really...everybopdy just wants to tell me all there problems and think i have some magical answer to there problem... i never get told by anybody tht im a good person or tht im cool or anything like tht....

i have fucked up once again in life so now im depressed and pissed of at myself why cnt i just go die alreaady why do i always fuck up everything gonna try to just take a nap so i dnt talk to anybody or fuck up anybody eles’s day.... i wish i had a razor blade this stupid blade i have right now doesnt cut the skin very well...

well i must say i really did like u a lot thressa but sometimes u were rather mean to me and u talked badly about my friends.. i enjoyed having long convo’s with u on the phone.. i have never talked to any girl so many times on the phone.. for such long periods of time and i probley wont for a long time either... im srry tht u want it to be like this.. im srry u never wanna talk to me again.. i really like u, its really nice talking to u, i really wish i could keep u as a friend so tht we could have a nice conversation every once in a while..but i guess not so.. good bye thressa.. i hope u have fun with all ur money and cool stuff.. have fun riding ur snowmoblie around in the winter time.. im srry i feel in love with u.. im srry i was afrid of my own feelings toward u... im srry u live so far away.. im srry tht u r taking me out of ur life.. im srry i played games with ur head.. im srry i lied to u over and over.. im srry ive wasted ur valuved time playing games..

ok frist off im writing this blog on my phone... Ok so here is wat im gonna do im gonna bitch cus im bored. So last night i made plans for today to chill with ginna and chyvonne -srry if i mispelled ur name. So it took me lyk 3 fucken hours to finally get my mom to say i could chill with them.. Then my demon dad just says no.. Im thinking wtf normal fathers would be happy to let there sons go chill with girls,but no my dad is evil its lyk he doesnt want me to have a life or ever have a gf.. So yea i hate my dad.. I think he should drop dead ;-) yea i just needed to vent

ok so here’s something eles i did this weekend.so on friday after the whole spilling ice tea on colin i came home..i was talking to thressa on the phone i think and something happend and i felt really bad about it so i grabbed my house keys tht had the razor blade on them and did two quick light cuts across the top of the skin.. while i was still on the phone with her..but i didnt tell u thressa cuz i didnt wanna make u anymore sad then u already were.but i told my friend viki about it and she yelled at me and told me i had to tell my friend julia cuz viki said it wasnt right for me not to tell her since she is my friend and she doesnt like it when i cut..so i left her an im saying i cut myself..then on saturday when i talked to julia she was really pissed off at me about it cuz i keep tellling her and my other friends im gonna stop.. and julia was really pissed off this time and said if i kept doing it she might not be my friend anymore and tht made me unhappy and scared cuz i dnt like losing friends since im not tht good at making new friends.. so when she wrote tht and i read it i. went to my room and got my blade and the pencil sharpner put them back togeather then went outside and threw the sharpner onto my roof where it tumbled its way down into the gutter of the house.. so now my blades are offically gone and now i can offically quit cutting..so yay me i think..

ok so im gonna tell everybody about this.. so it was right after ginna had dumped me and i was looking for somebody new to call my babe. i was looking for a new gf. even thou i knew i would always have lynn. so i was dating lynn for a while. but then i broke up with her b/c i wanted to shop around.. because i knew if i didnt find somebody new she would be there for me.. so i meat this great girl by the name of thressa.we dated for two days. i had to break up with her. cuz i wasnt sure of my feelings and i was afrid of my feelings at the same time so i didnt want to hurt her.. i also broke up with her cuz i still wanted ginna back. i was still hoping there was some chance. so last week i was bored and i had thressa’s number so i texted her a few times. she told me she was having a bad day and asked me if i could call her. i was relucktented to call her cuz i hate talking on phones. but i felt bad tht she was having a bad day so i decided to call her.. so we talked for like 5 miuntes. and i found it surprislingy easy to talk to her. for the next few days we kept talking to each other on the phone. and i reliazed tht i, really loved her a lot. and she told me about how she had been waiting for me two months for me to take her back.. and she had finally gave up. and was taken. but she still loved me she said.. so i expressed my love to her over the phone. and some pretty amazing things happend between us on the phone..and i realized how much she truley loved me and how much i loved her back.. but there is a problem. see since i was such a dumbass and didnt notices her there for those two months waiting for her. waiting to tell her how i really felt i lost her to some other guy.. so now im lonely again and i have these feelings for u thressa and u knw about my feelings. but there is another problem. the fact tht u live so far away makes it hard. and i really wanted to try and get away from the long distance relationships i think also, so tht might have been a factor in why i waited so long. idk thressa if thts wat u meant when u said i should write a blog about u but i wrote it and i hope its wat u had in mind.

i wonder if she even knws she is still the goddess of my world.... i wonder if she knws how badly depressed i would get if she left my world.. Just beacause there is some new girl in my world it doesnt mean ur not the girl tht i still wish i could have back..So wat yea there may be a new girl.. but its only to help me move on cuz i knw tht i cnt have the one i truley want..I love the way u randomly say sexually related things at any given time..The only girl tht has been able to make me cry ever.. even after we werent togeather u still had the power to bring me to tears..Ur the only girl tht has ever meant this much to me even now when were just friends.. U had the power to make me wanna do so well in skool tht i made honor roll twice, cuz i was in fear tht if i failed i wouldnt be able to talk to u.. And in trun tht would make me even more depressed..The only girl tht i have went threw so much just to be able to say friends with.. And i would do it all over again. because u just mean tht much..and trust me it doesnt matter if u are really random.. It doesnt matter how easily u get pissed off or how often..I would rather have u as a friend any day then a hot blonde cheerleader chick... So u see not having u in my life at all would cause me an unspeakable amount of sadness and depression..

WHY ? why is it tht the most important person in my world is always wanting to disapper from my world why.. why would they want to do tht fully knwing wat would happend if they did.. knwing tht if they did sucsessfully leave my world tht i would be sent into a never ending life of darkness and sorrow.. just the thoughts alone of living in this cruel fucked up world with out her in it with me makes me depressed... idc who im dating or who is my friend..... i could lose anybody else in my life and i would be ok in about a week or so but if u left my life.. there would be so many red lines and so much crying.. without u in my world it would be pointless for me to even go to bergen texh anymore i would be so depressed i wouldnt want any of my friends to see me in tht state of sadness...



btw in the headline OP stands for orinigal post date..