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Gomez's Journal


Gomez's Journal

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5 entries this month
 

Funerals. Leg breaks.

17:13 May 21 2024
Times Read: 125


Life is filled with dramatic interludes. The parts of my song when I'm not singing; the parts between the verses. The things outside of my influence.

So let's begin.
A good friend of mine has passed away. When I was young; he lent me his wisdom (advice I surely followed). Never judged me. We would meet in Manhattan and have coffee. I would be adorned in whatever fuckery I conjured up. He was....well he was old even then, and quite conservatively dressed. We made quite an odd couple talking about whatever. The wakes tomorrow in Jersey City.
I have this reoccurring thing with my foot. I tore the tendons in my left foot where the Achilles is at but also where the foot meets the leg on top. Usually I get an injury and forget about it. They heal. I move on. But this thing is different. If I step wrong or use the foot wrong now I get this shooting pain up at the top where my leg meets the foot. Then I leave it alone for an hour and it goes away. Originally this injury occurred when I was pushed on the train tracks a few months ago. I say all this because this morning my mother broke her foot and fibia(? Or tibia. The one on the leg) so I rushed over to my parents and during the rush MY foot decided to tear again. Lllllooooolllllll. Can't make this shit up.
Since I can't move without limping around like a fool I think I'll stay home and read books and play Arkham Knight for the 40th time. AAA gaming is in the fucking basement right now.
Maybe write a chapter. Play guitar. Paint.
Thinking of moving again. Maybe New Orleans?


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Black as obsidian

16:57 May 10 2024
Times Read: 256


Ive been invited to play guitar for some band out of New Jersey. I now live in New Jersey so what the hell am I even talking about? I'm out of New Jersey. They need a bassist. They need a lead. They need a rhythm. So every stringed instrument pretty much. They have a singer. A drummer. And a synth...no one playing it mind you...but they have a keyboard. lol.
So i'm in. Why not. I'm gonna join fifteen other bands too as soon as I buy a new touring bass.
I bought a 1957 Monterey. I'll take a pic. I slapped a satan sticker on it and then realized that I shouldn't be putting stickers on a guitar that's going to be 70 years old.....but it's already on there.
I have huge blisters from walking around NYC trying to be social again. I like watching people and NYC is the best place on earth to watch them. People are truly out of their minds here. Either you're beautiful and have an ego. Ugly and have an ego. Rich with an ego. Poor with an ego. It's a city of Main Characters.

In fact I dub Manhattan the borough of Main Characters.

Since I'm just DLC I'll wait my turn.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
21:34 May 10 2024

Good luck on the adventure. Hope it works great for you





 

To whom it may concern:

15:08 May 06 2024
Times Read: 329


Anyone on here that openly mocks Native American culture or heritage can promptly un-alive themselves. I want you to go and pick up the rope you use for your autoerotic-asphyxiation fap sessions; tie that thing to your neck, meander over to a light post, tie it to the top, climb up, and do a nice tuck dive off it. Do it in public so I can have the satisfaction of laughing and taking pics.


tired of being mocked, jeered, laughed at, ridiculed...but what were really mad at: is being forgotten. Were not a footnote in history.

If this doesn't concern you; then by all means have a great day :)


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Judging myself.

02:16 May 03 2024
Times Read: 342


dammit.

I've certainly gone on here and lambasted my father for being what he is. I've stood firm against his tyrannical fucking ways for a long long time. but. I am weak. I am low. I have made amends. I am disgusted with myself....all this because I don't want to be written out of the fucking will. I am a villain basically. I will let his awful behavior continue uninterrupted now; why would I even attempt to interfere? The money means more to me than stopping his morally bankrupt ass. I'm not proud of this.
The best I can really do is just sort of stay away from him. Talk to him when I have to. Laugh when its my cue. Assist when needed. Thank you Lucifer!! Im an adult and don't live with the dood. My mom does though; that's another horror movie. But the whole family lives in NJ. were all around each other frequently. If I wasn't so darkly inclined and morbid I'm sure my parents would be around me more; so thank fuck Im so weird.
Being strange has saved me from quite a lot of otherwise harmful situations. So there is that. hahahaha.
SO what; I want to stay in the will. It's a fair bit of money; and the house; which is also worth a fair bit of money, I get a piece of too; half actually. ITS SUBSTANTIAL. lol. this is all an excuse. but its also a warning.
Don't be me. I'm not a good person. He's in great shape anyway; hardly looks his age; his parents (my grandparents) are STILL ALIVE anyway.....they're 95. It doesn't bode well for my plans to wait this out.
I feel yucky about it. lol. I do. I also feel that i've lived through a hell of a lot of heartache and had to mask all that just to survive; what's one more 'thing' to add to the mountain of burden.
Goth prom is coming up. and were more than halfway to Halloween again. lol. Stay evil my friends.


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The smell of change

03:29 May 01 2024
Times Read: 290


Nietzsche said "the Snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinion; they cease to be mind." and his big one for me: "To live is to suffer,
to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."
which wraps into my personal mantra that I myself took a step
further: "If to survive is to find meaning in suffering. Then to endure and progress one must find happiness in suffering. To
laugh when betrayed. To smile in conflict. To applaud when
ridiculed.
Upholding this mantra takes being current. I can't just dwell in my own little world because I sink into that world....I don't come out of that world. I'm only out of it now because something pulled me out; and woke me up. I need to be in YOUR world. I need to see out of your eyes. I need to feel your angst. And when the world rips us all apart I'll be with you. A silly grin plastered on my
clammy skull.

If I can't feed from you then I need to feed off you.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
03:45 May 01 2024

we all have to find our own path in life, yet like the snake that doesn't shed and is trapped in skin cocoon tell it suffocates. we all must break free and find our path in order to be strong and growth in our minds.








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