Today is one of those days I wish I could gather up my emotions and put them in a box. And lock them up forever.
I drew something yesterday. It's been months since I picked up my sketchbook. It felt good.
Everything is dark. No light nowhere- just nothingness. Pitch black. No way out. The jagged edges that occasionally break the skin, remind me I'm alive, remind me that I'm hopeless. And I just keep putting on brave face day after day after day, with temporary relief from the sleep. I keep hoping if I say I'm okay, I'll be okay. It's one thing to lose something that you had thought you could keep forever, and another thing for the something- a particular someone- to appear in your life again threatening revenge. For them to come by my job and to find way around my call/message block. Cursing and calling me derogatory names. Making me out to be a villain? And even now, I cannot bring myself to feel hatred. Only love. Only pain. Only bitterness. Only darkness resides within me and out.
No matter what you do or say, no matter how many times you "prove" your words, you cannot erase someone else's doubt.
Falling in love is much like locking the door with all the windows open. Enter the thieves that steal love away- lies, deciet, broken promises. Are we never truly secure?
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