JinxHeartSmile's Journal

JinxHeartSmile's Journal


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5 entries this month

Holiday Shopping, how terribly consumerist of me

01:19 Nov 28 2020
Times Read: 301

For my youngest sister- a weighted blanket
and my oldest sister- a Halloween movie tee shirt, and gift card to Home Depot
My oldest nephew- a Deadpool tee shirt
My youngest nephew- some playdoh, because the price of Legos is astronomical
For my dad- some weight training gloves
And my mom- no idea? any ideas? She is tough to shop for...
To all- a socially distanced air hug
To the food bank- $20 worth of beans




Vent- Time to celebrate the massacre

02:53 Nov 25 2020
Times Read: 313

Another year, another "thanksgiving." Oh the irony of being told not to travel due to a pandemic, on a holiday that brought a pandemic to so many people. I wanted so badly to visit my grandparents, but it cannot be for fear I will inadvertently kill them.

My grandfather is early stage dementia. I just hope the next time I see him, he remembers who I am. I just hope that the person I know him to be is still inside. My great aunt showed me pictures of younger me, and did not recognize that the person in the picture was me. She did not know me. She had full blown Alzheimer's disease. If my grandfather did this, the emotional hurt I'm sure would manifest into physical pain. I cannot imagine. I do not wish to imagine. But I wonder if people just properly wear their masks, if things would have gotten this bad. I'm ready for this pandemic to be over. I am completely over it.




2020 So Far...

17:26 Nov 22 2020
Times Read: 323

Reflection of some of the positive things that happened in 2020- I hope I'm not jinxing the rest of this year:
1. Immediate family still alive and well
2. Exploring the great outdoors
3. Teleworking
4. I've committed to taking weight training classes and a little bit of yoga and I truly feel stronger
5. Learning to install vinyl plank flooring and operate a handheld drill to hang curtains




New Retainer

16:04 Nov 15 2020
Times Read: 341

So yesterday my new retainer arrived in the mail. The bottom fits perfectly. The top does not; the top left there is a gap of space of one tooth not allowing me to close my teeth all the way. I couldn't sleep with it in because I kept biting down on it and that causes discomfort to all my other teeth. My dad took a paring knife and cut off the part with the gap, and it fits perfectly. I'm not sure if this changes the effectiveness of the retainer. Really, it's just my top front teeth I'm most concerned about moving out of position. I think the retainer company did an amazing job considering they had to work around the cement stuck on the back of my teeth. If you hadn't read my prior post on this topic, my "permanent" retainer broke and my orthodontist wouldn't remove it. They no long offer retainer serviced due to Covid. My mother unprofessionally removed the broken retainer with wire-cutters, and saved the day. I really don't know what to do about the cement, other than to leave it. It doesn't hurt.




Political Vent- Exit stage left, if anything I write makes you uncomfortable.

21:02 Nov 05 2020
Times Read: 384

This election has me feeling all kinds of anxious. We just need one more state to win. Come on, Nevada, count faster. Lol. I might just take a several day hiatus from watching/looking at the news. My grandma say no use worrying over anything I can't control. I voted, that's all that matters.

Another thing on my mind- "We can disagree and still be friends." This statement only applies to trivial things like coffee, not liking anime, not liking concerts, camping etc. It doesn't really apply to racism. If you believe that I am less-than based on the color of my skin, we can't be friends. If you think it's okay for the police to murder an unarmed man over an alleged counterfeit $20, we can't be friends. It's not a "blue life", it's a "blue shirt." I care about the people in the blue shirts. I have family members that wear the blue shirt. BUT what is so hard about wanting a fair system of accountability, when just one bad apple wearing a blue shirt does something heinous? If you are police officer, and someone runs at you with a weapon, that is one thing. When you kneel on an unarmed man's neck, that is something else entirely. If it's not self-defense, it's murder. "Defund the police" is a poor choice of words. The whole idea is to divert more community resources into parks and rec, community centers, mental health counseling, etc. These things have been shown reduce overall crime rates. Yes, we need to police. No one is interested in abolishing the police. So back to the topic on hand, I see no path to friendship with racists, but also transphobes, homophobes, sexists, or just unsavory people in general. Kindness is something I value.

On another note, I've been seeing these nuts Trump ads taking things out of context. Biden wants to raise taxes- yes, true. On you? Not unless you make more than $400,000 a year. I can only dream of making that type of money. I do not know a single person in my community that makes that type of money. My boss doesn't make that type of money. If you're reading this post, there is a good chance you're not making that type of money either. Lucky guess? Why is there not enough money for social security and other government programs, if I'm being taxed at 30% off every pay check? If the rich pays there fair share, would I need to pay as much as I do when tax time rolls around? I'm just an environmental scientist, not an economist or a lawyer. I just wonder these things...

That's all for today...



01:29 Nov 06 2020

Go to the head of the class because you really do get it. Now if only more people could figure it out.

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