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JinxHeartSmile's Journal


JinxHeartSmile's Journal

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2 entries this month
 

Waste of time

02:40 Oct 28 2017
Times Read: 82


En este momento, estoy cansada. Tuve un dia larga. solo sé que perdí el tiempo. Hice ver la television por demasiado horas. Tengo mucho tarea por la universidad, pero hare esperar por la manana.

I'm still obsessed with learning Spanish.
I feel tired all of the time, trying to manage my diabetes.
It's been a long time since I last logged onto this site.
I'm wasting time at this very moment, on here.


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Rant: Conversation with dad

02:44 Oct 01 2017
Times Read: 97


Am I blowing things out of proportion?

You tell me that I SHOULDN'T have been shy in school and SHOULD have reached out to more people to make friends. I SHOULD have taken on more extracurricular activities, and the activities I choose have NOTHING to do with my career.

1. How does one not be shy? By talking to people? So your telling a shy person to do the thing they can't because they are shy? Was my shyness a choice? Was feeling sick to my stomach in certain social situations a choice? I should have just said I'm not going to be shy anymore and I am going to talk to everyone and have all these friends who will help me get jobs.

2. I was in 2 student clubs on top of taking 5 classes, all with there own exams, own term papers, etc. I was miserable.

3. I choose activities I liked to do- an improvisation play group and a student ambassador. Right out of high school, I wanted to be a lawyer. Then I wanted to be a forensic scientist until I took a class and saw the reality was nothing like CSI. Then a chemist, but when I transferred schools on a academic scholarship, the new school didn't have chemistry as a major. So finally I choose environmental science. And my extracurriculars should have been magically related to a career I didn't know I wanted. And none of the skills, leading campus tours and being a mentor for middle schoolers, etc., are transferable?

I told my father maybe I could have did more in community college but I don't regret the choices I made. I asked him how does telling me everything I did wrong 6 years ago help me now? I didn't listen to your advice and "not be shy" in community college.

He is quite upset with me and giving me the silent treatment. So, now what exactly do I do? Am I the villain?


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