I have to say, really miss the talks even the ones that were unusually interesting but entertaining in a bazaar way. I think it was their voice, ya that's it, could just sit there on the phone and listen to them talk for hours. I just wish they would have listened or remembered a few of our conversations. I just believe I had enough of feeling insignificant, a second thought even when on the phone talking to them, their mind seemed to be on someone else, which I sat and listened as they reminisced or vented about more than a few times. I really didn't mind which sounds strange, just figured at least I could be there in some capacity even as someone for them just to talk or vent.
I think the last phone call was my whole breaking point, to be honest. Compassion, trust, and respect were not anywhere in that last conversation, which really is not a shock now that I look back. The funny thing is even after going into a seizure while on the phone, and after, I remember a lot of what they said. I remember a lot of stuff; as I said just loved to listen to them talk sometimes for hours about everything or anything they chose to share with me.
I just wish they remembered all the stuff we talked about, some of it was very personal and revealing.
The truth is I really did like a lot of stuff about them, though I would just vent.
Words can be amazing or hurt like hell.
I found this video while looking for a piece of different profile music, was not expecting what was within. So emotionally raw, beautiful, love it and the meaning, words caught me off guard.
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