The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

People ask why I am the way I am. A 37 year old widow/mother of 2, who is happy with 'just being a bartender', who loves to get ink and piercings, still listens to heavy metal and decorates her house not in flowers and pictures of angels, but in dragons and vampires.



Perhaps it could be the fact my father was never home. He was in the Army until he retired when I was 16. Special Forces. I was and still am very proud of him. He was a very highly decorated soldier. Two tours in the Viet Nam war. But like I said, he was never home. Or maybe it is my mother's fault. She is from Denmark. And has never understood the 'American way' of doing things. I have never been what she wanted me to be. Instead of marrying a soldier like herself, I married a Hells Angel. Instead of going to a college like she did (waste of time since she never pursued the career she went to college for) I chose to start my bartending career my senior year in high school and have not turned back. Not stupid mind you. I graduated with a 3.5 -4.0 being a perfect score. But nothing else appeals to me. Blaming either one of my parents would be easy, but wrong.



I stared down my path at an early age. Five years old. My dreams of another life in another time haunted me every night. It was not until I was 9 did I find the basis of this dream in Germany. But that one is a whole other journal. Perhaps later as I still get chills thinking of it. I got into 'metal' at age 6 with KISS. Also at 6 years of age my mother took me to a shrink because of my disturbing behavior. I craved blood. I would take needles and prick my fingertips so I could suck them. When asked why I could only reply "I like the taste, I don't know why". I knew not of vampires yet (except the Count on Sesame Street) so the peditrician was next. Lack of iron was the diagnosis. I to this day still take iron pills and am STILL anemci. No energy..except it seems..when Jay my donor comes. I have no explaintion for any of this. Gods I wish I did. Right before I turned 7 I saw my first Dracula movie. I was hooked! The one thing I remember about it to this day is a scene where a young lady is looking out the castle window in her bed chamber. Looking at the ocean( the ocean at night still freaks me out) and she looks down towards the rocks where the waves are crashing. She sees Dracula climbing the side of the castle towards her window. She screams of course and falls back onto the bed. Dracula enters the room and she becomes 'hypnotized' by his eyes. He feeds. That moment, I wanted to be vampire. I remember telling my mother that had to be the reason for my craving of blood and she threated to have me locked up in a nut house.



Ok I have bored you quite enough for on sitting. Just a little insight on me...for you and for me as well. It is sort of fantastic reading it in print. Perhaps I do need a shrink.