Last night my daughter started to cry and telling me she had to tell me something that she thought in her little mind that I would be really mad at. She said mommy I have to tell you the truth about something and it is really hard to say...she by then was just bawling and at that point I was really worried she did something wrong or something horrible happened to her. I looked at her and then held her and asked her it is okay baby tell mommy what is wrong what is making you cry so hard...then she mommy remember my friend Clint and thoughts of oh oh did he do something to her. I replied yes baby I remember..what happened? She looked up at me and with tears in her eyes she said mommy I want to marry him.. I went from worry to anger then to laughter and then a awe baby..... I never thought in a million years I would be faced with this already and so I just laughed and said awe hun that is nothing to be scared about telling me. She said then well mommy I am too young you said but I still like him a lot. I told her hunny it is okay to really like someone and want to be with someone all the time but you are too young yet. I held her and thought oh my goodness her very first crush.
A bit of a explanation about the title of entry....Elizabeth is really enjoying learning at school and she loves to learn. When she has spelling tests and brings them home or anything like that I never say to her I am proud of you...Reason is because I want her to proud of herself and not have to think she has to please me. I want her to understand you are not going to please everyone even if you do a good job, but at least if she is proud of herself and she learns that in life she will continue on challenging herself to do better. Please so not get me wrong I am damn proud of her and when I say you should be proud of yourself I give her a massive hug to show her the affection of a hug and not my praise.
She needs to be proud of the accomplishments she does for her not for anyone else. Reason is because if she thinks she has to please me all the time she will be afraid to bring to me the things she did wrong in anything she does as she grows up and will not talk to me about it. I do not get angry with her or upset with her that she got things wrong on her tests..I point out the good things about and tell her we will work on the things you made a mistake on and you will get better at it. I take the words she got wrong and I help her with those and when we do she gets them right and then she smiles and feels better. I tell her all it takes is practice and studying and working on things.
Ever she has been attending school and discovering this method she has not been afraid to show me her tests and talking to me about them and how it made her feel to get things right not wrong. I told her as long as you really try your best and try and fix the wrong in a good way and not be afraid to tell me things things will work out and you will be fine.
I know this sounds rather strange but...I am glad she gets things wrong at times because you can never always be right and in life that is so true and if you do you get smug and cocky and that is the kind of pride I do not want her to have. SO like I said this what I have said here may sound harsh to you but in my house this works and works well.
She is proud of herself
ladies if you have to ask how to fill the gas tank and fill up the motor oil you should not be driving...or listened to your dad while he tried to teach you stuff....
If you have to ask your wife a million questions on where the pots and pans are and the laundry soap and how to do the laundry maybe you should help out and see where things are....?
Sometimes you think your life is useful like a cardboard box but it is plain and boring.....well it only takes you to decorate it and make it interesting and pretty and use it.
I cannot wait till one day I can get my hair done like trimmed and cut...I do like looking after my appearance and looking after my skin. I see all these women on line changing their faces with make up and before they do they are the most beautiful striking ladies, then they put on all this make up and change their bone structures and cheek bones and totally make themselves so look fake!!! It drives me insane that they have to think that they are enhancing their beauty but they are changing how they look without surgery with make up. You know I used to wear a lot of make up in my youth of 20's and through highschool but now I barely wear a stitch of it except when I want too and when I do I am finding myself washing it off right away. I do not wear foundations or cover up anymore and even if I put on eye shadow and eye liner I look older and look more tired and I really do not like the way it feels on my skin. It feels heavy and maybe I have to learn how to wear it again with older skin and age appropriate but even then I watch a few videos for just that and it still feels foreign to me now. Even when my daughter sees me with it on now she asks me why do you put that stuff on your face momma I liked you before. If I put on some lip gloss and a bit of mascara I feel it is just right, I mean fine wear all the make you you want if that makes you feel better but you know something you are going to find when you age you earn all the laugh lines and you earn the grey hair too.
I mean do not get me wrong here I do use beauty products to look after my skin like sunscreen and lotions and stuff but to go the extremes I mean to change your total face drives me nuts. Our little girls are being shown by all these things and they have a hard time already accepting whom they are and then they see other girls not happy with their own faces and try to change them. They are constantly being judged on their appearance and not loved for themselves. Sure use the make up to enhance the outer beauty but we have to teach our little ones to happy being whom they are from the inside. True beauty come within and loving yourself shines through more if they are taught that true beauty resides within them.
If a man cannot love me or her without the make up and the mask I have to put on they are not worth my time because they choose the outer beauty. Many cultures have make up to dress themselves to attract a man it has been like that for centuries in order to attract the opposite sex even in the animal kingdom. We have evolved and we have learned that we do not need to attract men like that because once that mask comes off the real person comes through it and what we fall in love with is the outer mask we all put on.
I so have learned throughout the years to love the person whom I am and not rely on that make up to attract or have to change things for other people to make them happy. Yes I have to loose weight not to attract a man but to be healthy for myself and live longer for my daughter that is totally different kind of changes I have to make for me. Yes I want to take care of my skin and stuff but that is to age gracefully and keep my skin healthy and not get skin cancer. All those things are more important to me in order to keep myself healthy.
That is what i am trying to teach my little girl and having all these ladies and men judging the outer beauty more is going to be a up hill battle with her because she is going to start questioning about her looks more and more each day. Man I wish some days I could be younger and look as I did way back in the day some days but then I stop myself and say hey once again you earned your looks and you earned those grey hairs and lines on your face. Accept it and go on you have more important things to worry about than changing the shape of your nose or mouth or even eyes. I applaud anyone whom wants to have plastic surgery or anything like that if that is what makes you happier and feel better then go for it. I just do not get how we as women still think we have to please men or anyone by looking younger and or try to conform to what men want or what society deems more attractive.
So wear your heavy make up keep changing your face lines and structures with make up but at the end of the day you are the only one real person when that make up comes off. But ask yourself is it the make up that your man loves or the inner beautiful one with a crooked nose and not so perfect mouth and a few wrinkles?
The music is from a band from Winnipeg Manitoba Canada that I have on my profile music....they came to my school in 1989 for the graduates gift from the Principle of our school. When I play these guys on my play list I remember dancing in the gym and having them play....omg how times have changed.
I do not know if they hit it big in the US but up here they are one of our most played Canadian bands back in the 80's. The band is called Harlequin.
You know when you get a notice that a package has come in the mail and then you find out they sent it to the wrong place!!!! Now I have to wait again more days for getting my package that I do need for things....
January 13th reading The Druid Oracle Animal
Middle Card Spirit Of Wisdom: Bull Gaelic Name(Tarbh)
key Words meaning: Wealth,potency,Beneficence
Tarbh mediates the influence of Taranis, the Jupiter-like god of the Druids, whose beneficence and expansiveness can bring you the opportunity for a rich and abundance life. The bull is a symbol of wealth and as such it is auspicious to draw this card when considering financial matters. But remember that the ancient ones were wise enough to understand that true wealth is to be found in the heart and the soul first, and only then in the material world. The bull represents fertility, potency, abundance and prosperity, but these things can sometimes take a while to achieve. If you need to work steadfastly in trying circumstances for a considerable period of time in order to achieve your goals, the bull will help you to do this without becoming drained or depressed.
Top Left Card the Spirit of Ancestors: Blank with my animal I drew as directed by the card to do:Cow Gaelic Name(BO')
Key words Meaning: Nourishment,Motherhood,The Goddess
Bo' opens us to an awareness of the Goddess. Her generousity, healing and nourishing power is present all around you-in your friends and children, in your food and drink, in your dreams and particular in the nature world that you are blessed to live in. She brings protection from all harmful influences, and by attuning to her presence you can gain the inestimable benifit of deep and peaceful sleep. By opening yourself to Bo' and to her sacred quality as a manifestation of the Goddess on Earth you will be connecting to the perpetual stream of nourishing energy that flows from the Goddess to each one of us. To experience this, there is nothing you need to do.
Bottom far right Spirit of Tribe: Owl Gaelic name(CailleachOidhche)
Key Words meaning: Detachment,wisdom, change
Cailleach-oidhche teaches us the wisdom of turning a disadvantage into a advantage. For most birds, the coming of darkness renders it impossible for them to feed, but the owl's exceptional hearing enables it to pick out and swoop on unsuspecting prey during the night. Twilight has been described as owl light, and going for a quiet walk in the woods as this shimmering time of twilight is an excellent way to develop a sensibility to the Otherworld and the inner soul of Nature. You may feel drawn to a study of esoteric lore or clairvoyancy. Working with the owl as your ally will help you do this.
Far top Right Spirit of Time: Hawk Gaelic name(Seabhac)
Key Words Meaning: Nobility, Recollection,Cleansing
Seabhac brings the ability to see your life in perspective, to free your of unnecessary "baggage" and to connect you to your ancestral roots. See if you can take some time out of your daily routine to survey your life calmly and to see events in context. The hawk can help you recollect the missing pieces of the jigsaw you will be trying to assemble and he will help,too , to spot the details which are significant. When you have sense of your roots and of the breadth of your life, you will start to feel pride and a growing sense of nobility and stature. Once you know where you have come from and where you are going, your life will be filled with inspiration and enthusiasm, you will sense a new day dawning, and you will be able to make decisions with confidence.
Far bottom left Spirit of Place: Crane: Gaelic name(Corr)
Key words Meaning: Secret Knowledge, Patience,Longevity
Corr brings the qualities of patience and perseverance. The Crane will stand for hours peering into the water until the time is right for it to dart at its prey. Combined with the ability to be patient, the crane conveys the capacity to be focused and to be able to concentrate without distraction.. It brings an ability to guide others into the Underworld, to help them with their transition at the time of dying, or with their journeying in the inner realms. As well as conveying and ability to work in the "Underworld", the crane symbolizes arcane science, or Secret Knowledge, which in the Druid tradition is represented by the Ogham script-the tree language of Druidry. In its widest sense, learning this language involves leaning to read the "Book of Nature".
Bottom Row middle:Spirit of Journey: Horse: Gaelic Name(Each)
Key Words Meaning: The Goddess, The land, Travel
The Spirit of Each calls us to journey, to travel. This may manifest itself as a desire to travel in the physical world, or we may be drawn to voyaging in the inner realms. She brings us energy and speed and connects us to the power of both land and the sun. The horse-goddess is patroness of the complete life-cycle of birth, death, the after life and rebirth. By working with the spirit of Each, we will grow to feel comfortable with every aspect of life-cycle, knowing that the goddess protects and guides us through each of it stages.
Top Row Middles:Spirit of Gift of the Gods: Sow: Gaelic Name (MUC)
Key Words Meaning: Generosity,Nourishment, Discovery
Muc. with her large litters, symbolizes abundance and fertility. Drawn upright this card may mean that you are called upon to be generous. Feeling connected to the love of the Goddess for all her creatures, you are able to give freely, knowing that you, in turn, are nourished and sustained by her. Choosing this card you can open yourself to the abundance that exists throughout nature. You can allow yourself to accept this abundance, knowing that life perpetually renews itself, and that you need to not worry about ever being disconnected from it. Allow yourself to feast on life-to enjoy its beauties and it sensual delights. The Goddess is generous, giving to all and renewing all.
What can I say or do
so that you know how I feel about you
I cannot say those three words
for I am afraid they cannot be true
especially when I cannot see you
My heart aches in places that I never
had before what I can do to heal your own wounds
I know I am caring for you more than I should
tell me what I should do and why should I not say
those three words to you...
No matter what you say how can I believe when my heart
as been torn out to many times to bleed alone
whom are you please tell me to come home
but to what and where do you come from
why did you pick me...tell me please
I do not understand what is wrong with me
what can I do please help me to understand why I am to be
with only you? Why can't a find those three words to say
I do not know maybe I am to scared to say and you will go away
My heart has been torn out before and I do not know
if I should let you in or for me to go tell me please what should I do to prove to
you and you can make stay with you...I want to believe this is real
and forever more but please tell me why you do not want me to walk out that door
I am scared of things now new to me especially when I do not know if you
can sing the truth to me...I do not know you as you think I should so please
tell me why I should...what can you give me that others could not, what can you make me
feel inside no one could do? Please tell me why I should use three little words to you.
Don't you just love getting lovely packages in the mail...yipppeeee tomorrow things start to arrive!!!
New profile look on the way...like I promised my profile is beginning to be my own unique style...all pictures on my profile all are my own works...the background is actually my witch bottles I created. The inkwell is mine as well as I just got it and soon the parchment you see with my description will be real as well with my own hand writing. I will be creating that this weekend. As I build up my altar and other tools this profile and XXWillowEponaXX profile will be all hand crafted by my hand and my own drawings and such. I am also going to try and not be on here as much as I am as I need to focus on my new beginning journey as a re awakened witch.
Well my mom had her surgery yesterday and they removed the small tumor from her stomach and while in there they did not find anymore....we thank the goddess for that...she is recovering in hospital for a another few days and then back home...The have set up a health nurse to go everyday to make sure she will be alright as my dad will need help. She just lost a little bit of her stomach but it will be worth it if they got it all and the treatments work when she has recovered.
I am asking all of you whom love their mother please tell her often and tell her how much she is appreciated...even if you do not have a mother that is alive but you miss her tell her anyway. I will try even harder to let her know because I will not go a day not telling her how much I love her...
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