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life is such a curl thing.. we have an emotion called love... in this emotion we place our heart with another person, in doing this we hope to have a heart returned to us... and hopefully it is not our own.. we wish for the other person to donate there heart to us... now what happens when we give our heart to some one and they dont return any thing... do we lose a part of our heart or dose that portion of us just fade away.. this is a good question.. i have fallen in love yet again despite what my demon constantly tells me... i thought that this girl Natasha (bueatiful girl, she is wite with long brown hair and an amazing body... she loved the same stuff as me and i beleave she is a perfect girl for me...) any way she is a good girl so i beleaved that if i opend my heart to her she would return love to me

i gave her 90 percent of my heart... more than iv ever alowed any person to have because i beleaved that if i put that much in there was no way i would be crushed... she even said she loved me for a little bit even tho we never went out.. iv tried every thing... she knows how i feel... iv drawn pictures for her, bought her stuff, wrote songs for her and other stuff... iv run out of ideas.. she now says that she is not my type... but i know she is... she says she is sheltered, the type of girl that cant leave the house very much... and i know that but i want to show her the world, i want to take her hand and show her how to fly...

the point to this is my darkenss is keeping me traped, my demon dose not want me to have love at this point in my life. for that would mean i am happy and my demon would grow less powerfull, but i dont want to be sad and alone any more, i want to have the sweet girl by my side to pull me into the light of her heart and show me the warmth i so long for. acually she donst even have to be a good girl but i do need that love. i want to have a girl that is devoted to me. my friend erica is devoted to this guy brian despite what she says. she loves him with all her heart and that is a beautiful thing. even the pain it my cause is a bueatiful thing because that pain can not exist with out that level of devoted love. and to feel that love is an amazing thing. i envy her and brian so much. she may not have him right now but if she stays dedicated then love will prevail. the darkness can prevent love from existing but rember it can not stop it once it has grown.



im getting despret. even if it is a fals love i desire it. im going to turn to any dark magic i may find despit the consequences. i really dont care if i die as long as i can experence that passion atleat once. i will sacrafice any thing i have to be with tasha. but the funy thing is i really dont know why im so devoted to her. iv only known her for a few months and yet iv fallen compleatly head over heals in love with her.



so if any one knows any spell or rituall i can do. no matter what type of magick, or the conciquence is please message it to me or something.