Honor: 15 [ Give / Take ]
28 entries this month
06:09 Feb 28 2021
Times Read: 232
23:17 Feb 26 2021
Times Read: 295
My new Punk Rave skirt.
It's adorable, it's puffy, it's tiered, and the ruffles are velvet. I love everything about it. Except... The straps are cheap garbage, and they refuse to stay attached to the skirt. So I'll probably end up just sewing them on if I don't just throw them out entirely. I love the style of suspender skirts, but they're never functionally great for me. It seems like every one is made for meaty shouldered giants because I always have to alter the shoulder straps much smaller. I get that I'm a pretty small person, but ya know, who the fuck are they making these for? They're even adjustable, and even at they're smallest they're huge. I do love the main skirt though, it's adorable.
I don't think I ever showed these beauties off either. A new addition to my shoe obsession, the Shredder Boots from Killstar.
I actually got these probably over a month ago, but just kinda forgot about them xD Look, I have shit constantly shipping in, and out, occasionally I completely forget about something. So much so that when I went to look for them I couldn't find them. They ended up being in my selling area, underneath the clothing rack I keep all of my sale items on. So I was probably thinking about selling them. I did get the last pair they had available so selling them would probably be easy, but they're kinda beautiful so maybe not. And I got them for a great price, about $100 less than retail.
I just realized my foot is on Gemini in the second picture xD Maybe that's a sign of something or a warning. I don't think I know any Geminis besides my brother. Pretty sure I've never dated a Gemini either. I'm surrounded by a lot of Leos. Wolfie, my best friend, my dad, my brother-in-law, and two of the seven kids, all Leos.
My cat has been spilling his water bowl lately. I read that cats will do this when they can't access their water, but I always make sure it's full, and it's a pretty big bowl so his fuzzy head had no trouble with it. I think he may just want attention or it's an act of defiance xD Last week, my oldest sister's kids had to stay here because their furnace was out, and it was below zero for days. So three kids, plus a cat, plus me in a room for extended periods of time. My cat loves the kids, but he does not appreciate them being in his face THAT much all at once. He also prefers to sleep outside, he's not much of an indoor kitty, but I couldn't allow that with it being so cold. So he may still be expressing his annoyance with me xD It could also be his eyesight is going bad. He's getting a bit older, middle-aged by now, and I've always heard that blue-eyed cats are prone to more health problems. He's always had problems with food, I have to buy him sensitive tummy food that's smaller bites. But then he'll go out, and eat raw squirrel so... I dunno. He's a lot happier now though, back out on the porch in his chair where he can people watch. The water thing isn't a big deal, it's just odd that he suddenly started doing it.
19:30 Feb 26 2021
Times Read: 322
We're rolling on lucky today. I went to the FedEx drop off point, found my packages, actually looked them in the eye, so they're not lost. Spoke to the manager of the place, and she told me that for some reason the driver, who had been making regular pickups there, just hasn't taken them. I noticed when she pulled them out for me that they were shoved back in the back of the shelf so maybe they just didn't see them, I dunno, sounds like bullshit, but she did call them while I was standing there, and requested they get their ass over, and pick them up. I probably should have just taken them back, but I'm going to try, and have a little faith in humanity here. I messaged both of my buyers, apologized profusely, updated them on the situation, and hopefully it starts tracking soon. It's 100% not my fault what happened, but I'm still responsible apparently until they're actually scanned by the official carrier. Needless to say, I will not be using FedEx anymore. I hate not being able to offer my buyers the cheapest shipping possible, but when that shipping is slow, and unreliable, and doesn't even fully protect my ass, it's worth the extra couple dollars to ship priority, and have happy buyers.
Another lucky thing, KVD is having another awesome sale, you can get 5 full sized products for $50, and you get free shipping at $50, and it all stacks with the 25% coupon that's floating around so I got almost $200 worth of stuff, 10 items, for $57. Do I really need more makeup? No, but I really like this brand. It's not super luxurious high-end, but it's a lot better than drugstore quality, and they always have really awesome sales. People who don't like makeup, and don't wear it for their reasons, that's totally fine, but I hate when those people then go on to bash the ones who do like wearing it. I like to take my nieces out, buy them clothes, and occasionally makeup, but I do make it very clear to them that we don't wear it to make ourselves beautiful, we're already beautiful, it's just something fun. If you need makeup to feel pretty, you're wearing it for the wrong reasons, you need to work on your self-esteem. For me, it's just fun to use, and to buy. Despite having a mother, and two older sisters, and several aunts no one ever taught me about it so I've been learning all my life how to do it myself, and it's been a lot of fun, but I don't want my nieces to feel like they can't get into that kinda stuff. I don't want them to feel like they need it, but I don't want them to miss out on it if they're interested in it either. Every little girl deserves that. I didn't have very good aunts growing up, I didn't really have very good family in general growing up so I try to do my best for my little minions while I'm here. I let them come over whenever they want, we have midnight pancake, and video game parties, and I listen to them which is most important because kids often feel like no one cares about how they feel. These kids will tell me anything, stuff they'd never tell their parents, because they trust me, and I hope that never changes. Everyone should have someone that they can go to, and talk to no matter what. Someone that will help them, no questions asked. And everyone should have a nice auntie to spoil them rotten, but that's just a personal opinion :3
09:05 Feb 26 2021
Times Read: 347
So what happened is this apps shipping protection is absolute bullshit. They finally agree with me that I did drop off the packages, like I said, and they were scanned at the dropoff point. However. Because the actual postal carrier never scanned them, I apparently don't qualify for the shipping protection. Basically, they're trying to weasel around their own policy by saying, "Ok, you did what you were supposed to, buuuut... technically, because of reasons totally beyond your control, we don't have to pay you." It's so grimey, it's fucking criminal. You mean to tell me, that your app supports dropping packages off at these dropoff points, where they're scanned into the system, but if the actual carrier never scans them you don't cover it? That's just gross. It's so unprofessional. Don't fucking support shipping you're not going to cover. I'm going to have to go see what the fucking holdup is where I dropped them off. If they still have then I'm going to take them back, and ship them through anyone else. FedEx can kiss my ass, permanently.
I'm this close to pulling out the big guns... Which is basically, "Wolfieeee! They're being mean to your bunny. They're trying to take advantage of me for being just a small bunny *gives sad bunny eyes*"
I prefer to handle things myself civilly, but these fuckers aren't playing fair. And Wolfie is much better at handling people than I am, I think they take him more seriously than me, maybe he just sounds scarier than me :3 He's not really scary though, he's a fluffball as long as you don't mess with his bunny girl, and even then says I'm much scarier than him. When he's angry, he quietly plots your doom. When I'm angry, I'm psychotic, laughing at all your pain and suffering. I mean, $250 isn't even a big deal, but it's the principle of the thing, these people are acting like crooks.
06:40 Feb 26 2021
Times Read: 366
Pretty sure I'm never using Fedex Smartpost ever again. February 15th I got two orders in, one $100, one $150. This was when most of the country was locked up in the big freeze, but I still managed to get out, and ship my orders. The tracking the next day showed they were scanned that they had been dropped off at the Fedex drop-off point. A week goes by with no tracking. Not a huge surprise after the severe weather. But now Friday, 10 days later, they still haven't updated beyond being dropped off so the fucking app is telling me my orders are subject to getting canceled, buyer refunded, $250 out the window. They have shipping insurance up to $200 on each sale as long as it's shipped, but the absolute dumbass in support is telling me there's no tracking on them. Um, no, they were, in fact, scanned. It says in the fucking tracking that they were DROPPED OFF AT THE FEDEX SMARTPOST LOCATION. Pretty sure that means I shipped them you worthless idiot. It states in their policy that if an item is lost in transit that I should inform them so they can look into it, and file a claim. But the idiot keeps telling me it's my job to look into it because there's no evidence I shipped despite me throwing the tracking in her dumb fucking face. Can I please speak to an adult? Or even just anyone with more than one braincell? Please, someone above this idiot's paygrade. Fucking Hell, I'm showing her the fucking tracking, and she's just like, nah xD This is the same app with the shady return system, where returns automatically get approved just from the buyer filing that they didn't get what was described. I fucking hate this app, but unfortunately, I make most of my money on it so I'm just kinda screwed. And I feel super bad for the buyers if their items are legitimately just stuck in transit, but that's not my fault. I went out in the ice, and snow just to get stuff shipped on time, and now I'm being punished for it because it probably got lost in the chaos. But I have my proof of shipping so I will fight them. I fucking shipped you bitches, I will see you in Hell xD
I think the drop-off point possibly just hasn't been picked up yet because I had another sale yesterday that was shipping via FedEx, and it's also stuck in dropped off limbo so I may go check it tomorrow and ask. I wanted to offer my buyers a little cheaper shipping option because for anything over 1 pound it costs $11 via USPS for the prepaid shipping label this particular app wants you to use. Via FedEx it's $7.99 which isn't a huge difference, but getting to keep that extra couple bucks encourages some people to buy. But fuck this, it's ridiculous. Almost 250 perfect sales, and this bitch is going to call me a liar when I have the proof. So fucking stupid, I swear I'm going to get someone fired.
And then when they finally get back to me, a different person this time, they ask me for updated tracking numbers...
What the fuck does that even mean xD The numbers haven't changed, they're in the tracking evidence I SHOWED you fools from the labels YOU sent me to ship with. Why would the numbers have changed? Omg. No. I will not destroy idiots xD I will be a calm fucking bunny in the face of overwhelming human stupity.
21:51 Feb 25 2021
Times Read: 395
I was really excited when I heard Killstar was releasing a Hades Kreepture. Wolfie has, from the beginning of our relationship almost five years ago, called me his Persephone so I really like anything Hades/Persephone related. But then I saw it...
It's a cat? Ya know, I don't really think cat when Hades comes to mind... And it's not even a very cute cat. And it's kinda goofy looking. On top of which, they released it with a Medusa Kreepture. Why wouldn't you do a Persephone? People would eat that shit up, fuck Medusa. And they made the Medusa an ugly fucking dog... Why wouldn't you do something reptilian? I really question Killstar's design choices sometimes... If you're not going to make things that are absolutely fucking adorable, at least make them make sense. How cute would a Gothic owl have been for Hades? Or even a dog? I love cats, but it's just not him. This doesn't make me think Hades at all, it's a fucking wizard cat. Fuck you, Killstar xD I swear, the more popular they get, the worse their designs are. These ugly things will undoubtedly sell out within 24 hours, and that really pisses me off, making money from the misuse of mythology. But I guess I'm always the one saying it's all up to interpretation so fuck, maybe some dumbass actually does think he's best symbolized by a cat. At the end of the day, it's just an overpriced stuffed animal.
03:43 Feb 25 2021
Times Read: 441
A man contacted me recently wanting to buy a dress for his wife. He gave me some big long story about how she had bought a medium, but she needed a large, which I happen to have, and if I'd just lower the price to $50 he'd sure buy it just to see her smile.
You know, I don't mean to sound like a villain, but I really wanted to ask him if his wife's smile was really only worth a mere $50 to him. I suppose you could add the cost of looking like a total cheapskate loser to that. He also thought to lecture me in the original price of this dress, telling me it sold for $50, and then for $21 on clearance. In reality, the dress sold for $80 retail, and was about $35 on clearance before it sold out. But, as I've said before, clearance prices mean nothing to me, they don't mean it's worth any less than it was originally, it simply means the warehouse is clearing stock to make room for new things. I don't work for the warehouse, I'm not desperate to clear my items, and my prices are more than fair. If your wife isn't worth another $30, that's your problem, not mine.
Now if he had offered to give me the $50, and ship me the medium sized dress for free then I'd be willing to make a deal. As it stands, I'm not interested, and his wife should feel insulted. I'm not saying you should have to spend a ton of money for people, but if you're going to put a price on making her happy, $50 is rather low...
I don't like sob stories like that anyway. People lie. A lot. Especially when they have something to gain. I also have enough problems of my own. You don't see me advertising that the money I make goes to buying medicine that keeps this fucking body alive. I don't want anyone to do anything for me because they feel bad for me. I want things to be fair.
So then I had another interesting encounter. A woman asked if I'd hold something for her until Sunday, and offered me more money than I have it listed for. Usually with items I have listed at higher prices, I keep the listing deactivated. I do this because otherwise I'll get offers if $20 for $250 items. I prefer people to contact me directly if they're serious about making an offer on something more expensive. So the listing is for $250, and she asked if I'd accept $275 for it. Well... yeah? I would've accepted $250, and I'm definitely not going to charge her more than that, but it is odd. Could be a scammer, she has no buying or selling history/feedback, no picture, nothing. Of course, if she does actually come back for it I'll record everything as proof, it could be perfectly harmless, but it's definitely got me suspicious.
Then I'm dealing with another pain in the ass buyer. She asked of I'd lower the price of a dress by $10, and to keep it on hold for her while she went to put money into the bank, 30 minutes at most. A day later she sends me almost the exact same message, but wants me to drop the price of the dress by another $10. Personally, I think she deserves to pay more for the hassle, but $10 isn't a huge deal so I'm giving her until Midnight before I simply block her. I'm more than happy to work with people, but I really hate when they try to take advantage of me. Blocking her is the most merciful thing I can do because if she's allowed the opportunity to come back tomorrow, asking for more money off, I will go off on her. I try to be as professional as possible, but some people... It really triggers me when my kindness is taken advantage of. When the more you offer, the more people try to take, and take and take. I guess that's human nature. I'm not fond of it. I'm always the one trying to convince Wolfie that humanity deserves a chance, but the more I deal with people the uglier they seem.
00:51 Feb 25 2021
Times Read: 462
I finished Persona 5. I'd say it's pretty typical for an anime game, lots of talking, easy gameplay, very story driven. Super fucking tedious in certain areas, like hey, let's make the player turn into a mouse that can't open doors, yay. Or the floor puzzles... Person 5, I bet you didn't know that I had already mastered that challenge in Dragon Age xD I don't mind games with puzzles, I grew up in the 90s when puzzle games were a big deal. And remember in Silent Hill 2 when you're forced to go through a bunch of shit just to get a piece of hair? Good times. But they do get tedious when you have to do one after another, it's like, I get your dumbass mechanic, I beat it 5 times already, can we just move on? But overall, I really enjoyed it. I love anime so naturally playing an anime game is like interactively watching an anime, and that's pretty great.
So... I'm back to Dark Souls 3 ring quest for now. Trophy hunting is usually what I do to pass the time between finding games I personally find worth playing. Sometimes I just happen upon one like with P5, sometimes there are things I want to play, and just haven't gotten around to, and sometimes I just want an excuse to keep playing something I love. I never get tired of Dark Souls so 100%ing them is always something I'm happy to work on even if I've beaten them 100 times. The shitty thing about getting all the rings is that some of them are immensely easier to get if you play online, and I don't particularly like playing online. So collecting all the miracles/sorceries, and pyromancies isn't nearly as much of a pain in the ass, it's the rings.
You know what I'd actually really like to play again? Prey. Or the Evil Within series. That's my other problem is that most of the big name games that come out yearly, I have no interest in so I go back to games I loved. Assassin's Creed, and Call if Duty, and Elder Scrolls can kiss my ass, they're so fucking tedious and repetitive.
21:33 Feb 23 2021
Times Read: 508
I found my favorite persona...
A teddy bear with skulls in its tummy ^^ So cute.
Man... Persona 5 just keeps going, and going, and going... And there's so much fucking talking. It makes me miss Bloodborne and Dark Souls. Can you imagine walking up to Sulyvahn, and him giving you the grand, "It was me! I was the evil Mastermind behind it all," monologue in Dark Souls 3? Or like, the Orphan of Kos going on for 30 minutes about why they're endlessly torturing hunters, every detail of their scheme. Snooore. Seriously, shut the fuck up already, Akechi, I don't care about your tragic backstory. I was nice to you, and you turned out to be a huge douche. I knew when he mentioned the pancakes that he was up to some shit. I really can't stand traitors, traitors and hypocrites get so far under my skin even in a game. I don't have much sympathy for people who destroy others for the sake of their own well-being. Although... If I could have saved him, I would have.
04:56 Feb 20 2021
Times Read: 564
So my second V-Day KS haul showed up, and lucky bunny that I am, I got a freebie.
The Fortuna Ring Stand.
I didn't order this, but here it is.
I started a ring collection a few months ago, and I had considered buying this, but never got around to it. I like to think of this as KS paying me back for all the shitty service the last couple years. The last several orders from them have consistently had things missing from them. I get it, it's probably difficult to keep track of inventory for a place like that, but every order? Kinda ridiculous. I was expecting, after I pulled this out if the box, that something would surely be missing from my order this time, but everything is actually there surprisingly plus that little extra.
So aside from that I also got these.
Seven Knit Sweater
Obviously, it's red, and black so I had to get it, it goes with my Gothic Harley Quinn aesthetic. Although, she kinda takes a back seat when I'm not blonde. I dunno, I really like the bluish green thing I got going on, but I think I prefer my hair pink more than anything.
Lost Soul Dress
I really, REALLY wish this dress said Dark Soul instead xD The text is actually in velvet which I didn't realize when I bought it. And shown with the dress is the Summoning Belt.
Also shown with these outfits is the Zana Bag
Another smaller handbag for the collection. Honestly, I hate changing things out between purses so I don't know why I buy so many, but damn it, they're cute, and I need them xD
Last is the Sin City dress
I've been eyeing this dress for a couple years, and finally grabbed it. I don't wear a huge amount of PVC, mostly lingerie since Wolfie has a thing for it... But I have been wanting this for myself, it'll look so sexy with some heeled thigh highs, and red lingerie. I love a dress with a full body zipper...
Pretty nice little haul, happy with everything here. They are currently running a 25% off cold weather clothing sale, but I feel like I have enough sweaters especially with Spring coming xD And I definitely have enough jackets, my winter wardrobe is packed. I can't even reach the sides of my closet, I've reached the point of too much so I really need to go through, and pull a few things to sell. As much as I love all my clothes, there are just things I love, but never wear so if it sits in closet for over a year without being worn it's time to move on. But that means I get to find something else I'll love so it all works out :3
20:18 Feb 17 2021
Times Read: 608
Part 1 of my KS VDay haul made it in today.
Hocus Pocus dress
This is the purple version, they also make one that's solid black which I'll end up getting eventually, but I really loved the purple. I'm strongly considering cutting off the ribbon ties though, it's just unnecessary, and it looks kinda cheap, I think the dress the dress would look much better without that lump right in the front. Otherwise, it's a gorgeous dress, and both versions are currently on clearance.
California Screamin' Handbag
So most of the purses I own are huge xD Or, they feel huge when I'm carrying them around so I end up not taking them out with me when I do go out. But this is petite and perfect, and I'm always in for spikes, pentagrams, and velvet.
Spells Sweater Dress
Another super comfy sweater dress, I'm in love with these. KS has been putting more of their anime styles on clearance so I'm happy to pick them up even though the cold weather will be over soon, I'll be all set for next Fall.
These next two items are not from KS, this super cute pastel witch top, and moon bat skirt.
Yes, that is a Too Fast skirt. I vowed never to order from their website again, but you can find their stuff in other sites so I got the skirt, and top together. I absolutely adore that pastel print, I have it in another top, dress, and leggings, it's so cute.
The last thing I got was this patch.
I bought this because I actually have a really cute cardigan coming in...
So I'm going to put it on that somewhere with a couple other Beetlejuice patches I have.
Oh, and I have this super adorable skirt by Punk Rave coming in too ^^
I saw it, and knew I had to have it.
My second KS package is supposed to be in tomorrow, but the weather will probably delay it. I think that's all for right now...
04:31 Feb 17 2021
Times Read: 645
There she is...
Ghost Night Bride by AP in white colorway♥
The price is fantastic, and it comes with the veil. Ugh, I need this. I messaged the seller to ask what she'd charge for shipping since she's in Europe. £200 is about $280 so it'll probably end up being around $350 with shipping, but that's right around my price range. I'd probably be willing to go up to $400.
Another dream Lolita dress within my grasp. I'm not even sure why I love this design so much, I think it's just the little details. AP dresses always have the cutest little details.
18:34 Feb 15 2021
Times Read: 695
The Lovecrafty dress from Sourpuss♥
Can you name all the Lovecraftian horrors?
05:00 Feb 15 2021
Times Read: 782
For having the creativity of dry fucking toast some people sure act jelly :3
Ya know something I've witnessed on here that's not very creative? Using the same profile themes/words/pictures dedicated to man after man after man after man. It's especially not creative to also, after doing this for years, criticize other people's behavior and relationships. Well ok, that last bit moreso makes them look like a huge insecure, hypocritical dumbass, but ya know, that first part is a major blow to that "creativity" they're constantly desperately trying to convince people they have while behaving in a way that, in fact, proves the exact opposite.
It's also wildly uncreative, those people with so much supposed trauma, to try, and push someone else over the edge. To encourage them right over it. That's actually just plain trashy, and pretty fuckin disgusting. Publicly implying anyone should off themselves just reaffirms their mega trashfire status, and makes my opinion of anyone who chooses to associate with them plummet.
But that's just me❤
05:22 Feb 14 2021
Times Read: 817
Of course, Wolfie was the first to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day, even telling me a day early to secure his position as my Valentine😛
Honestly, nothing makes me happier than those silly little things :3
04:53 Feb 12 2021
Times Read: 853
My KS V-DAY haul.
I actually completely forgot it was almost Valentine's Day before I saw the sale xD I dunno, I prefer my boyfriend to consistently make me feel loved, and special instead of piling it all into one day. Besides, Wolfie, and I are both fully capable of buying ourselves anything we want so the material aspect of it doesn't really mean anything to us. The best thing he ever gives me is his time. It means more than anything to me just to have his attention all to myself for a bit. Time is something he's never had much of to spare. Being driven to be successful is great, and all, but there are definitely times I wish we were just normal, average, simple people, but then I guess we wouldn't be us. I'll probably draw him a cute picture like I always do. I'm not a great artist, but he loves my drawings, he's so encouraging ^^
05:31 Feb 10 2021
Times Read: 906
The blue hair is a big hit with Wolfie, he loves it, he says it makes me look like a sexy anime girl ^^
He loves when I dye my hair crazy colors, he says it makes me look exotic... I think by that he means it makes me look more strippery xD But that's not a bad thing. I'm glad he always so supportive of me :3 He doesn't care how I make myself look, he thinks I'm most beautiful no matter what. There are a lot of people who will try to use being a Dom as an excuse to completely control another person's every move. What they eat, how they do their hair, who they talk to, etc. Definitely not a fan of that, although there are some subs who enjoy that kind of restrictiveness, Wolfie was a lot more strict with all of his previous subs. But he says he likes me to feel free, to express myself, and be who I am. And he trusts me to be myself around him which is important since he's never really trusted anyone. I don't think I would like it much if someone tried to rule over me with absolute authority. Wolfie likes that I can hold an intelligent conversation, that I can argue my side of things when we disagree, that I'll stand my ground when necessary. That I'm strong-willed, and a bit stubborn. I respect his opinion above all, and I accept his final decision on things when he makes it. He's my alpha, my leader, I trust him to always do what's best for us. But I still like to occasionally give him a hard time, it's just my nature, and he loves that about me, that I challenge him. It's a funny thing that being submissive gives you this enormous feeling of freedom, I think that's what a lot of subs want, to feel free. What makes us feel that way? Well, having someone you can be 100% vulnerable with is a big thing. Being able to trust that person you're being so vulnerable with to protect, and take care of you when it's all said, and done is another. Having someone who's got your back no matter what. These things sound like they should be attainable in any relationship, but I've personally only found them through being a sub. I mean, the ropes, and whips, and suspension is all very satisfying, but it's deeper than just fulfilling that sexual desire. Sure, some people want to be used like meat then tossed out, they're not looking for more than that, but I'm glad there is more, more than people on the outside even realize. I'm glad the perfect man, the perfect Dom just so happened to randomly find me :3 He would laugh if he knew I was calling him perfect, he would call me a crazy little bunny, but for me, it's true, he's amazing. He really saved me when we met, he's helped me more than he'll ever know, and I just want to do the same for him♥
07:08 Feb 09 2021
Times Read: 966
Geez, take out your fucking trash, Aiyana xD
00:57 Feb 09 2021
Times Read: 1,015
So... I was bored, and now my hair is blue... xD
07:22 Feb 08 2021
Times Read: 1,059
Yeah, totally got my girlfriend ^^
Hey... You knew it was going to be the pigtailed blondie, look who you're talking to. She even sounds like me. I remember once years ago I told Wolfie, "Wolfie, I really love you. Like a lot... A LOT!" xD
And do you know what you get from getting in a relationship? That person will bodyblock a fatal blow for you. I dunno, that's just funny to me that you can basically use your lover as a human shield. That's what comes from falling in love xD
09:11 Feb 07 2021
Times Read: 1,095
The only one who could possibly stand up to Godzilla xD
07:46 Feb 06 2021
Times Read: 1,131
Finally hunted down this Lovecraft dress in an appropriate size.
I really didn't like Killstar's take on a "Cthulhu" dress. All they did was make a dress with octopus... That's fine, I get it, but it's pretty lazy design when there's so much more you could do. I've always liked this dress, never bought it when it was available, but I managed to get it for a measly $22.
I also tracked down that Wonderland Hell Bunny dress recently. Unfortunately, it was only the base dress for sale, they no longer had the detachable striped sleeves. Of course, you could always get some arm warmers or even cut up a pair of tights to replace them, but the seller is also in New Zealand so it probably wouldn't be worth the money for an incomplete dress anyway. Like I said, there are much better Gothic Wonderland dresses out there...
Less than $50. Just saying.
07:17 Feb 05 2021
Times Read: 1,161
I keep having dreams about my ex.
It's never anything sexual or romantic or anything like that. It's just... talking to him. But I can never remember what was said. I think there are a lot of things we both refuse to say to each other, maybe that's how it is with most disasterous relationships. It wouldn't matter either way. I don't think he's ever shown me any genuine emotion, maybe he's not capable of it.
Wolfie is the exact opposite. I can always tell, when I look in his eyes, what he's feeling. He's not afraid to be honest, and vulnerable with me. I can't say I know every dark corner of his soul. There's one detail of something he's never told me, and I have no right to force him to, no body does. It's something he's mentioned to me a couple times when he was feeling particularly dark, but not something I would ever want to go into discussion about enough to keep it lingering on the surface. People are allowed to have their own little box of pain without having someone pry it open. There are some things you just don't need to know. But otherwise, he's been more open with me than anyone else, he trusts me enough to be genuine with me without fear, and I appreciate that, that's how lovers should be. I do love looking into his eyes though. They're this beautiful green, they remind me of glittering, swirling, shifting galaxies...
My eyes must look very dull in comparison. My friend, the one who I mentioned has drawn the pictures of me, always says that brown eyes are his favorite. I think he's just a massive flirt. The funny thing is, I don't think he's ever been romantically interested in me. Sexually, absolutely, romantically... well, I've never gotten that vibe of interest from him. Hard to believe there's a man out there I can't steal into the heart of, I know. Not that I'm trying, of course, I'm just used to men throwing their hearts or genitalia at me xD Sometimes literally, like when you just wanna talk to a guy about video games, and he keeps talking about the size of his dick... Super classy. Think you need to work on your Charisma stat, bud♥
01:18 Feb 05 2021
Times Read: 1,194
These are just fantastic.
For the shorts, top, cape, and hat it's only about $150. It's a shame they only make them in the two colors, but I'm really feeling the cream color. People tell me I wear too much black xD I would absolutely love to get into some more EGL looks though.
Like this dress.
It's stunning. I don't even care that I have nowhere appropriate to wear it.
20:53 Feb 03 2021
Times Read: 1,241
Shockingly, I woke up to my new Angelic Pretty dress on my doorstep.
Here she is, the Halloween Treats OP ^^
This design just kills me, it's so fucking cute. Coffin cakes, marshmallow ghosts, cookie cats and bats, spooky macarons, and all the moons, and stars in the background are glittery ^^ Even the lace has little bats with AP in them, the buttons are stars, the lace around the cuffs are embroidered with stars. Every time I buy an AP dress it just reminds me why these dresses are so sought after, the quality, and details are amazing, there's not a single loose thread or button, everything is pristine. The ad said it was pre-owned, but this is brand new, it has full tags, and the hairbow hasn't even been taken out of the plastic. And I gotta give major props to the seller, they're located in Japan, only charged me $10 for shipping, I ordered it Friday evening I think, and it's already here by Wednesday morning. Amazing, makes me totally rethink buying more dresses directly from Japan.
I'll probably throw this up for sale around $500-600. I'm not really trying to sell it, just seeing if there's any interest in it. Since this was a special release color, and comes with the matching hair accessory, I expect there will be. Someone recently actually inquired about my pink Holy Lantern JSK. I have it listed at $1000 for the same reason, gauging interest. She told me she was new to Lolita so it's interesting that she chose to go for such a holy grail dress, Holy Lantern is a pretty big deal in the Loli community. But she said she could only do payments, $25 every two weeks. At that rate, if I sold it to her for let's say $500, it would be almost a year before she'd even get it, and if she changed her mind at some point, I'd have to refund her what she already paid, it's just too messy. I understand that not everyone can just throw down $500 on a dress, but I can't get drawn into a bad deal like that. I'm happy to keep them, of course, but they're so gorgeous I'm too afraid to wear them xD
07:28 Feb 03 2021
Times Read: 1,274
So Wolfie's finally been given the clear to come home. But... he's scared to. He has this super rare blood condition, and when he gets sick it really flares up. He said he hasn't had a really bad episode since he was in middle school, but still... It would probably be really bad if he got covid, and I selfishly hadn't really considered that. So we're still waiting to see if maybe things calm down soon. It's not as scary as it was almost a year ago, but it's still bad especially if you have to go through a few different airports. It's not worth risking his life just to get home sooner, and it's not like I'm going anywhere. I miss him, but his safety is my main priority.
At the beginning of last year I kept telling people I had this overwhelming sense of doom... I thought it meant that something bad was going to happen to me. I didn't know it was the whole world. And like I said, I've been having reoccurring dreams the last couple years of some sorta celestial apocalypse. But I guess that's just how it is, life is fragile, spinning away on a rock. Still... I'm not ready for it all to end. There are so many games I haven't played. And there's Wolfie... He doesn't really believe in an afterlife. He said he was dead once after drowning for a couple minutes, and there was no light, no warmth, no welcome, just nothing. I don't think he was really dead... But I told him next time I'd be waiting for him, he'll have to deal with me for eternity :3
21:06 Feb 01 2021
Times Read: 1,311
I'm taking a break from DS ring quest to play through Persona 5. I just happened to come across it, and figured, why not? I love anime games, Danganronpa, Code Vein, Catherine, the Tales series, the Atelier series, great stuff. I named my main character after Wolfie, of course, because it looks a lot like him. Tall, thin, dark hair, glasses. And you know I gotta make the cute, petite, blonde pigtailed girl fall for him... Actually, a few people had told me that Ann reminded them of me, and now I totally get it. She's no Junko Enoshima, but she ain't bad.
I mean, Junko creates havoc, and chaos, and despair just because she's bored. She has no tragic background, she has absolutely no reason for being evil, she's just fucking bored xD
Though, for obvious reasons, I really love these hair accessories better :3
I've just gotten to the second palace, and despite Yusuke having just asked Ann to pose nude for him, he joins up with their team, and she's just like, "Yeah, go team, not like you tried to perv on me naked you bitch ^^"
Then again, I have a good friend who drew me naked. Well, not completely naked... And yes, Wolfie knew about it. He actually asked for the original copy xD But I'm not the only girl he's drawn like that, he has a whole portfolio of naked women so it's not a big deal. It wasn't like a spread open wide porn thing, it was very tasteful :3 He's another person in my life with a traumatic background... I dunno if his is worse than Wolfie's, I think they're equally horrible in their own way. Do I attract trauma and despair? Wolfie says I do, but it's because I'm warm, and bright. A tiny light in an ocean of darkness. But he knows I'm not all bright and shiny. He says, "Bunny, that's what makes you so beautiful, the balance of dark, and bright inside of you, the way you embrace them both." He really probably thinks too much of me sometimes... But I'm glad he loves me, and is on my side♥
00:44 Feb 01 2021
Times Read: 1,163
My Master always taught me that kajirae should conduct themselves publicly with dignity and respect. You're not just representing yourself, you're representing your master, and your behavior is a reflection of your training. Poor behavior often indicates poor training. If you are making your Dom look bad, that's something that should cut any good sub to the bone.
I admit, I fail myself to live up to my Master's expectations sometimes, no sub is perfect. I'm impulsive, I'm blunt, I have a big mouth. I occasionally speak my mind in moments when perhaps I should bite my tongue. But I am much more restrained with him than without.
That's right, this is me holding back, I have not yet unleashed my third phase xD
Seriously though. I don't like to judge other subs, it's not my place. However, when I see a sub who has, in the past, been highly critical of others behaving so poorly themselves over the years... That's just begging to be called out. Like I said before. People are watching, some who actually know how the fuck things are supposed to work. They see, and have seen the way you behave. They know, based on your behavior, if you're full of shit. And we laugh together about those who are absolutely bursting, those who bring nothing, but shame to all their self-proclaimed titles.
That's not to say that as a sub you should shut your mouth, and take shit from other people. But moreso to realize what battles are actually worth fighting. To utilize restraint. Argue with people online you can easily block, and move on with your day or make a spectacle of yourself over it? The decision seems pretty obvious to a well-trained submissive.
But ya know, like I said, I'm no perfect angel. I get way too much enjoyment out of verbally destroying people who try to fuck with me. Wolfie teaches me to be kinder, that people who attack me deserve pity, and compassion, and I try... But it's so satisfying to give into the dark side, and let it control me xD
You see? That's something I need to work on. To not give into the wild impulses of my darker emotions, to not allow that side to control me, to not feed into my own negativity, to not take pleasure in making others despair, whether they deserve it or not. We all have flaws, if you ever stop working on yourself you're missing a very big, unique point of human existence. If you think restraint should end just because the ropes have come off, you're missing an even bigger part of a genuine BDSM relationship.