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cutexbutxpsycho's Journal


cutexbutxpsycho's Journal

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46 entries this month
 

04:49 Oct 31 2022
Times Read: 128


FORSAKEN by boyfriend... for Guild Wars 2 xD
Well, to be fair, we had talked over five hours before that. At three hours he said he was ready for bed. Then an hour later he said he was ready for bed. Then an hour later he laid down, took his glasses off, and I innocently asked him, "So what's your favorite weapon anyway?" Because... that's something every gal is curious about her fella. Ok, maybe just me... But we had been talking about Lord of the Rings lore, and Elden Ring, and we all know I'm a giant scythe girl. But Wolfie runs different builds, and he knows a lot about actual IRL weaponry, but I've never asked him what his favorite is.. Which led us into Guild Wars 2. So I told him that after we get our gaming PCs, I'd play that with him if he'll play Elden Ring with me. I saw there's actually a mod out that allows you to play ER full multi-player mode, explore the whole world together so I can see myself getting into PC gaming with him.
I'm exhausted. I had a full day of Wolfie and shopping which led to a new Kuromi hoodie...
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💗
Wolfie told me his mother called him today... That it was a short conversation wherein she basically just told him that she misses him. Of course, I don't trust her. He asked me if I didn't think she deserved a chance to redeem herself. And to that I say... beloved... you are amazing, and kind, and compassionate, and for these things I have so fallen in love with you... But I don't think she deserves or is worth it. Maybe she'll play nice, but... more likely she'll eventually revert back to literally screaming at you how worthless you are, and when she does that it always puts you in a dark, very suicidal place... It's not worth it. The people who abuse you, they won't stop. Every time you let them in, they'll do it again.
He's my priority, I don't really give a fuck how she feels or if she's ready to be the mother he deserves. Because she's just going to let him down, and who knows if he'll make it back out again. He's in such a good place right now, it's not fucking worth it. But I told him that he's a grown man, it's up to him. If I see her behave in any manner abusive towards him, I will jump on her, and punch her face in. I would absolutely love for her to be a beneficial addition to his life, but I do not trust her.

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06:34 Oct 30 2022
Times Read: 155


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00:18 Oct 29 2022
Times Read: 188


My new Fruits Basket x Hello Kitty mini backpack came in early :3
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Soooo cute💗
I dunno if I like Fruits Basket x Hello Kitty or Sailor Moon x Hello Kitty better... But they're both adorable, and all things I love.
I should probably get rid of a couple of my mini backpacks, but... They're small so they can easily be packed up. I really don't have much left to rid of, my closet looks so empty. Wolfie woke me up early today, around 7. He left a couple hours later to go get cake, there's a bakery down the street from him that sells really yummy stuff, so I fell back asleep for a bit, and when I woke up I wasn't feeling very good. It reminded me that the 29th of October is the 15th anniversary of my transplant. Which I'd good and bad. Having lasted this long is great, some people get a lot less. But then it makes me wonder how much further it'll go. Hopefully, at least another 10 years, maybe longer. Realistically, I'll probably eventually need another transplant which I'm really, really not looking forward to even though the first one had no major complications, and this one has been pretty steady. I've been lucky. That's one thing that Wolfie, and I really understand about each other, we've both got these health conditions. I couldn't even begin to spell the name of his blood disease, it's basically his blood eats itself. And we're both very stable in our conditions, until we're not. We both almost died when we were born. We both look perfectly normal, but inside... we're a bit defective. It's nice having someone who understands, and loves you despite how fucked up you sometimes feel, physically and emotionally. Wolfie said to me a couple days ago, "Bunny has been hurt a lot... And it'll take time to heal, but I'll try my best." He really doesn't even have to try, just... having him makes me so much better. When he goes to bed, but he tells me that he's right there if I get scared or sad or lonely... It means more than anything to me that he's just... there. I like to think I'm a better person since we met, better in a lot of ways, but most of all better for myself💗

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slipknotbabe356
slipknotbabe356
01:37 Oct 29 2022

Oh my goodness! I didn’t even know a Fruits Basket bag existed let alone a mash up with Hello Kitty! October 29th marks the 7th anniversary of my grandpa dying from lung cancer. But I’m glad both Wolfe and you are both alive. 😊





 

06:22 Oct 28 2022
Times Read: 223


I got...

New boots:
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New coat:
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Annnnd a new uniform:
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I was so happy when I saw it came with pompoms ^^ Wolfie says most women don't look natural in red, and black, but that it suits me perfectly which is good because it's both of our favorite colors, that's why he had our new playroom painted beautifully red❤️

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Juggalette321
Juggalette321
10:15 Oct 28 2022

..... Right..... Wolfie, the great planner..... Is still moving forward with painting a room, in a country that he should know you won't be able to get a visa in, especially since he has a lawyer on in ;) 1. due to your kidney issues (can't risk you being a burden on the Russian medical system, despite how much money he claims to have), so that's an automatic visa denial. 2. Russia will only grant visas for 6 month consecutive-day stay, then you must return to home country. 3. Russia utilizes a quota system for visa, which have been indefinitely closed to US citizens. Last, and most importantly...... Just show us some proof that "Wolfie" even really exists. Nobody believes you and we all know you are making him up. So pathetic.





Juggalette321
Juggalette321
10:17 Oct 28 2022

For being such a planner and intelligent guy...... He sure is stupid..... Especially not knowing that Russia will automatically deny your visa petition...



Oh wait...... He would need to exist first.....





 

04:32 Oct 28 2022
Times Read: 242


Wolfie woke me up at around noon... Hey, I'm typically up til like 4am so I get a healthy amount of sleep. And I love when he wakes me up, he always tells me how cute my sleepy bunny voice is. He had his last day of work so now all he has is some wrap up stuff to finish up. Some paperwork, closing his bank account there, getting everything packed, and locked up. He said he's looking for something to bring my parents... And I told him that my dad will never accept anything from him, if you want to get in better with him then just bring my mother something nice. So he said he might get some coffee stuff from Vienna for her. Or maybe some nice chocolate. Definitely bring me some nice chocolate xD He told me he was considering wearing a suit when he shows up... His reasoning, "Well, I'm asking your parents to take their daughter, that's a big deal." I mean, yes. But I don't think we're going to immediately jump into that subject xD And that's not exactly the first thing I want to do when he gets back, sit down with my parents, and discuss what I'm worth... You think I'm kidding, but Wolfie takes that very seriously. He also casually mentioned to me that when we file my visa paperwork that because we're filing with "intent to marry" that we need to put down a date... to be married by. And I'm just llike, guhhhh, so much pressure🤯
I'm happy, but we're not even engaged yet. I told him, absolutely no asking me to marry him over video chat, I demand maximum romance in front of me xD And he agrees that I deserve everything so we'll see how that goes. His lawyer is really hopeful about the situation. The only thing possibly causing an issue is that Russia isn't super keen on letting outsiders in right now because of what's happening in Ukraine. And also because of that the immigration offices are flooded with Ukrainians coming into Russia. So it's really, REALLY not an ideal time to move there. But his lawyer says that since I'm clean, and I'm not involved in politics whatsoever that the government there shouldn't look at me super hard with any suspicion, and therefore it shouldn't be an issue. Shouldn't... but we'll see. At this point, I don't know when he'll be back or what's going to happen. I'm just glad he's ok, and things are ok, and maybe we'll make a little progress soon :3 People may not understand our relationship... The depth of our connection, the sacrifices we've both made, the reasons why we hold onto each other the way we do. But I don't think that's for anyone else to understand. I think when you have a love like ours maybe no one in the entire Universe can possibly understand it. And I'm ok with that. Because he gets it. And he's all I need...
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00:35 Oct 28 2022
Times Read: 258


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The things I want, but never knew I needed❤️

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07:11 Oct 27 2022
Times Read: 295


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Hey, I don't ignore my mother... that often xD It was a very intense boss fight, and I knew I was going to die so if she could just wait like 30 seconds...
My PS4 controller is having a hard time charging. I'm not necessarily surprised, I've had it since 2015, we've had a good run. I think it knows I'm not planning on taking it with me...
Звездочка is Wolfie's way of calling me Little Star :3
It's always "Little" with him.
"Little Star."
"Little Flower."
"Little Bunny."
"Little Queen."
I suppose compared to him I am quite small...
Well. Short.
Even in 6 inch heels I'm still several inches shorter than him.
Personally, I think that's kinda hot.
And it means Wolfie always reaches the high shelves for me.
Because it makes him nervous when I start climbing shelves to reach things xD
That happened to me at the store a week ago. My favorite ice cream was at the very top, pushed back so even if I could reach the top shelf it was still pushed back out of my reach. So I fuckin climbed that bitch xD Hey, when you're short it's inevitable that you're going to have to climb up things, just facts of short life💗

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02:14 Oct 27 2022
Times Read: 330


I read that people are saying Persona 5 is a better RPG than Elden Ring.
I mean...
I do love Persona 5, it's very fun to play. But do I love it more than Elden Ring? Hell fuckin no.
But...
I don't think they're really comparable because you get completely different things from both games. Persona 5 is a very social aspect kinda game. The turn-based combat, personally I loved it, but you don't play it for the combat, you play it 100% for the social interactions between your character, and the rest of the world. Persona 5 is more comparable to Mass Effect or Dragon Age, the combat is ok, it's there, it's functional, and it's not difficult, but we all know you're really there for the characters.
Elden Ring, and Souls games in general, are the far-flung opposite of this. While there are fantastic characters, and an unbelievably in-depth story in there, it's not handed to you on a silver platter via NPC interactions. You don't sit for hours on end talking to people about what's happening, you get very brief explanations from people who really half the time don't know what's going on either. That's not to say that characters in Souls games are bad because obviously some of my favorite characters come from these games, characters that you really don't even hardly speak to at all. Like Artorias, they took put his dialogue, he never actually speaks to you in game beyond a shriek, but you learn from the world around you who he was, what he sacrificed. Very opposite of Persona 5, Souls games have a very lonely feel to them, you're in it on your own to either keep the world the light struggling on or push everything into the dark, it's up to you.
I don't even know if I'd personally consider Persona 5 to be a true RPG. Because you get a very baseline character that you did not create, and you don't get to choose their class or stats. You can choose what traits you level up first, but it ultimately makes no difference characterwise, you will always end up being exactly who the game is designed to be, you will always he Joker. Every character has their preset weapon/equipment, you can't give them anything other than what the game says they can have. And while I love the characters, there's no customization which is one of my favorite things in an RPG. In Souls games you can mold your character into exactly what you want to be, into the most bizarre, outlandish classes you can imagine if you want. Wolfie says my build is the biggest edgelord build... But there's nothing wrong with playing an assassin wielding a giant scythe xD That's just... me, and that's what I love in an RPG. Joker is cool, but he's not me❤️
I also will never forgive Persona 5 for giving us Strikers...
Whatever asshole created that in development should be disemboweled, probably literally the worst sequel/add-on/continuation to a game I have ever played. They took the beautiful turn-based combat from P5, and ripped it completely apart. It still breaks my heart... Because I do love the characters, bit I could not stomach more than a couple hours of that shit. Fuck whoever did that to that amazing game.

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23:17 Oct 26 2022
Times Read: 363


So Killstar, in their infinite wisdom, decided to completely cancel my order after I asked them if they could swap out one of the sizes of one of the items I ordered. Yeah... I dunno, seems kinda dumb to not simply send the size I asked for instead of canceling the whole thing, bit that's just me. So I had to go through, and reorder everything, and their website fucking tried to do it AGAIN. I chose the correct size, but then it switched it to XS in my cart. So I had to go into my cart, and manually change it there. Ya know, I was just trying to save us both going through a return situation, I felt like there was a much easier way to go about it, but hey, it's done now, minor annoyance dealt with.
I received these a couple weeks ago❤️
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And after using them these couple weeks I will say this... There's a reason designer makeup is so expensive. And it's absolutely worth it. I got a powder foundation, a mini powder brush, an eyeliner, and lip/cheek gel, and while it was $200 for four things... One of them is dual purpose, it serves as a lip color and blush. Also, designer makeup smells amazing. I smelled my KVD powder foundation to compare, and it smells like nothing, but the Chanel powder smells like perfume. I dunno, the quality of it is worth the price especially if you just want a few things. Though I'll probably get a few more just because... It's funny because I mentioned once how pointless it is that Too Faced makes scented eyeshadow palettes, and I kinda still stand by that, why does something that's going on your eyelids need to be scented? But face powder makes more sense especially since I don't like wearing heavy foundation, my skin just doesn't need the heavy coverage. I do have the scars in the middle of my forehead, but I like to think they give me some character :3 Actually, you can barely tell they're even there anymore.
Wolfie was pretty tired today so I didn't keep him up especially since he spent all night last night with me. Only a couple more days, and he should be done with the job there. I'm curious to see where we'll end up. I wouldn't be mad if we just ended up going back to Denver. Moving to Russia would be badass, but Denver is close to my family, that's initially why he bought the house there. I dunno, I'm kinda sad about never going back to the house, but I always knew it wouldn't be forever there. It wasn't the right place for us, and after his mom moved in down the street... That's why I've told him the past couple years, it's ok to sell it, but he was holding onto it just in case we had to go back there eventually. But I refuse to live next to his mother. Yeah, I'm not really that sad to see it go. I just worry about Wolfie's mental state if he has to move back here. He's been doing so much better since he left the US, I don't want to have him dragged back here just because of me. He says that he'll do whatever makes me happy, but I told him, our life is about both of us, not just me or him, us, together. We both have to do what's best for the pack. So we'll see💗

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07:20 Oct 26 2022
Times Read: 406


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06:11 Oct 26 2022
Times Read: 438


Got drug out for my 4th grade niece's concert tonight. Of course, as soon as I get ready to leave, Wolfie decides to call. Luckily, it was only four songs, and I left. Maybe it's rude to leave before every grade is done, but I saw my niece, I don't care about all these other kids. And Wolfie was staying up just to talk to me so... I had to go. He stayed up til almost 6am just to spend time with me since he was busy the last couple days. We had this whole Russian history lesson at which point my cat fell asleep, and started snoring behind my head xD But I like when he teaches me stuff, he makes a very attractive professor❤️
He also said his lawyer contacted him about my paperwork, and told him the government officials there told him it might be an issue letting someone who isn't Russian live in the country. And that's not totally unexpected considering what's happening over there. He said we'll still try, he's got some connections there if necessary. I'm not really sure what the plan is if it doesn't go through. He finally sold the house in Denver, which is fine because even if we do end up going back there I refuse to live anywhere near his mother so that house definitely had to go. I feel like if Russia falls through that's where we'll end up since it's also really difficult to move to Europe. I just want it to be settled one way or another, I want to know where home will be. It also makes me feel like things are going to take even longer now.
I had another unfortunate interaction with a potential buyer. I had a dress listed at $78, but decided to send an offer out for $60 + $5 shipping hoping someone would go for it, and take it off my hands. So I get messaged from someone saying if I could guarantee delivery by Saturday then they'll go ahead, and buy it. First of all... it's Tuesday night, I wouldn't be able to get it out til tomorrow afternoon. Also, the shipping I had on it was for First Class, not Priority. So I told them that I could switch the shipping to Priority which usually only takes a couple days, and should, but not guaranteed, get there by Saturday. The Priority shipping is $8 so I tell them not to accept my offer, and I'll just go ahead, and add the shipping to the cost, $68 total, and mark it as free shipping. I was very clear in telling them NOT to accept the $60 offer, wait til I switch the price to $68, and just buy it outright for $68, they had to pay $68, the total would be $68. I change it, tell them, 15 minutes later I see they accepted the $60 offer... Except now it was a $60 + free shipping since I had changed it to accommodate them. Yeahhh... no. I feel like I was pretty clear, and I'm not sure if they were deliberately trying to scam or if they're just a huge moron or if my explicit instructions were just too complicated. Ya know... don't do the thing, and they do the exact thing I said not to do. Surely they're not that stupid... Surely it was all a miscommunication... I didn't feel good about it anyway because sure enough that dress would be delivered on Monday, and somehow that would be my fault. If you need something by a certain date, you should really order it at least a week ahead, if not two or three. If it's somewhere that I know generally ships quickly, like KS or DK, I might feel comfortable pushing it to the edge, but still. Like people who order Christmas present the week of Christmas, and expect them to be there within a couple days, your online shopping privileges should be revoked.
Wolfie was really cute though... He said, "I hope the kids think I'm a good uncle." Funny enough, he's favorite uncle xD Now maybe that's just because he's attached to favorite, best auntie... But I realized he really has been in the kids life for a long time. Not quite as long as mine, I didn't introduce him to everyone immediately after we met, but it has been a few years now that he's been a constant for them as well. I think he just understands how important they all are to me, I'm not just an aunt to then, I'm almost more like an older sister. My oldest nephew got suspended this week for punching some kid who was bullying him... He told him not to touch him, the kid touched him, he punched him, he got suspended. I don't think he did anything wrong personally. I've taught these kids they have to stand up for themselves. You should never leap to violence, but if someone fucking touches you... Whatever anyone else thinks, I was proud of him. It's kinda ridiculous to punish a kid for defending their personal being. It's like my oldest niece, there was a kid in her class who straight up threatened to rape her. But the school sat there, twittling their thumbs, "Sorry, there's no proof, we can't do anything." I told my niece the next time it happens to call the fuckin police, the local news, call me, make a scene, start screaming til somebody fucking does something. I also told my brother that of he didn't go into that school, and handle it then I gladly would, I'm real good at making people cry. I'm glad that niece isn't having a concert, cause I'd find that little shit's parents, and make them real scared to fall asleep at night. Those are the kinda, "He was such a sweet boy until I found the severed head in the refrigerator..." kinda parents.
I also realized I made a boo-boo with my Killstar order. I quite mistakenly ordered a bra in a size XS instead of an XL xD As much as I'd love to be an XS... yeah, the kittens don't do XS. I messaged them immediately, and it hasn't shipped yet so here's hoping I don't have to deal with a return situation.

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Juggalette321
Juggalette321
20:31 Oct 26 2022

So, as I've been reading your journal about Wolfie. A few things I have noticed. First, he cannot apply for your passport or visa, you, being the one who is entering the country, have to do that yourself. Second, lawyers are not involved in the visa process. Second, it always seems that when he is so close to being able to see you again, something happens and it pushes the date back by years..... Third, it's clear that this guy values his time without you more than he values time spent with you. For as much money as you claim he has, it shouldn't be a problem for him to visit for at least a week or two before going back to Europe. Fourth, speaking of his money and being a planner...... He sure does start a lot of projects for you, that apparently never gets finished and is started without him not even knowing if you're able to travel there..... Last, the text messages you post of your conversations with him...... I'm a Russian linguistics specialist, my job in the Russian military was as look for fake messages being passed. The way you and him talk to each other clearly shows that it's one person, using a burner app to message themselves, so it appears that there is another person you are talking with.


Either he is fake and you made him up (which I highly suspect) or he is lying to you and has no real intention of ever meeting you or taking you with him.

Show some proof he exists.

BTW, there are no travel bans in Russia preventing American's from visiting. Getting a work visa isn't hard, and you can (actually are required) to do it yourself online.





 

22:42 Oct 25 2022
Times Read: 460


Finally put in my huge KS order, about $600 worth on top of a $200 order from DK. I got my new lingerie in today, and I realized that everything I ordered is red and black xD But I mean, that's me. My Fruits Basket x Hello Kitty mini backpack also finally shipped, and should be here by Saturday. I've got five more sales since yesterday, but I'm waiting til tomorrow to send everything off in case I get any more. I still need to buy candy for Monday. Usually everyone in the family brings some so we end up with enough to feed an army, but still, this could be my last Halloween so I'm going to contribute. Not really sure how I'll dress, I don't ever buy costumes, I just kinda pulk from my closet, but my closet has gone down quite a bit. Still, I've always got the makings of Harley or a vampire or a Witch. I think most of the family is showing up as clowns so maybe some sorta Harley look. But I need to get candy, and stuff to make treats with the kids. Cookies, rice krispies, stuff like that. Wolfie was telling me about this rice krispie stuff that comes from his hometown, Kazan, but instead of marshmallows they use honey. He's so excited to show me everything, it's adorable :3 Packing is hard because I kinda need clothes before I leave so then I have to decide what to leave out, and what to pack, and then I can't decide so I end up with ten million things out of the box, and it's just a big mess xD I just get overwhelmed so I give up. I need Wolfie to get here, and organize things, that's his thing. It's up to him to take my chaos, and keep it controlled. Well, he tries❤️
I had a pretty hilarious encounter with a potential buyer. She messaged me to tell it that it was funny how overpriced one of my items was, something I actually had BELOW retail, so I politely told her I'd show her something really hilarious, and blocked her xD She then proceeded to lead a campaign against me, telling people my stuff is coated in animal hair, my tags are reattached, my stuff is used... A lot of my items are brand new in their plastic casing so... You can't really fake that. As for animal hair, my cat spends very little time inside, and never lays on my clothing which is all neatly hanged or stored. Aside from the fact that, this is a person who has never once purchased anything from me so she would know all this how? It's really gross when people are cheap, and then feel the need to lie. It also 100% had no effect on my business so... I wonder if she feels accomplished in life having wasted all that time that literally did nothing. Maybe I could have more professionally simply ignored her, but she went out of her way to come at me first over something that, had she done her research, she'd have realized wasn't even true. It was a $50 top that I had listed for $38, btw. Which actually sold today to a very nice person who bought 4 things from me without any problems. All that trouble over a fucking shirt, should probably get her priorities straightened out a bit. I like to think I'm a reasonable person... Wolfie says I'm an energetic, impulsive, chaotic rainbow ball of fluff :3

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07:46 Oct 25 2022
Times Read: 503


Five sales gone out yesterday. Not too bad. Another pair of shoes gone. I've got several I'm taking with me so I'm really trying to get rid of the rest.
Wolfie spent all day Saturday talking to me, but not much since then. I don't really blame him, when we start talking it goes for hours, and then neither of us get anything done. He said talking to me makes him too fuzzy xD Friday should be his last day on his current contract. But he'll have some things to do before he can leave. And he's waiting on my paperwork to come in from his Russian lawyer for my entrance visa. That will at least get me in, and buy us a little time to figure things out permanently. Hopefully it's as simple as us getting married, hopefully they don't give us any trouble, his lawyer assures him that legally it's all very acceptable, but you never know. So his lawyer sent the paperwork to his place in Slovenia, but who knows how long it'll take to get there. Every time someone tries to hold him up he reminds them, "Look, if I don't get out of here then my girlfriend is going to show up with a chainsaw..." I kinda love that he makes me sound completely psychotic as a means to threaten people xD I'm really not that impatient. Sure, I ache to have him back, but I also understand that the man's gotta lot going on, and trying to rush him has never made him go any faster. Let's face it, moving me to another country, figuring it all out, getting our place ready, basically orchestrating our entire future, it's ALL been on him. That's a lot to deal with at once on top of getting his own head straight. So I try not to give him shit. My job has been to stay here, look pretty, and be ready for departure when he gets back. I mean, it's not that I wouldn't help him, but I'd have no idea where to even begin, and he just kinda dove into it. I got my passport renewed on my own so... that's something xD Besides, Wolfie likes handling everything, he likes being in control of it all. Planning and scheming and being 10 steps ahead are kinda his thing. I don't plan, I just go with whatever's in my head. Seems fine so far :3
Probably why Wolfie tells me on a regular basis what an adorable, endearing pain in the ass I am❤️

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23:04 Oct 24 2022
Times Read: 525


kx4arfl0jit81
But do I love Artorias or Malenia more?
...
Don't make me choose between the things I love xD
(Probably still Artorias🖤)
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06:51 Oct 24 2022
Times Read: 562


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03:06 Oct 24 2022
Times Read: 587


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18:52 Oct 23 2022
Times Read: 621


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05:26 Oct 23 2022
Times Read: 656


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Lore Olympus Hades is like... so Wolfie xD That's one of the reasons I love it so much because Hades, and Wolfie are so similar. He was telling me earlier, "Bun safety is most important. What if someone bumps into you or touches you or looks at you too hard... I'll have to call my Chechen guys to handle them." He's so cute :3 Literally yesterday I said something about being his future wife, and he blushed so hard, and said, "I'm still getting used to that." And then proceeded to give me several reasons why no sane woman would ever want to marry him. He's a workaholic, he has clinical depression with significant trauma attached, he has a batshit crazy family full of functioning psychopaths, he's a ridiculously super intelligent dominant pain in the ass perfectionist control freak... But ya know. I'm not exactly your average woman. True, an ordinary woman would no doubt run screaming away from him. But to me, he's my cute, fuzzy wolf :3
And I'm just fucking stubborn... So good luck with that💗
I told him I saw something about Toxic Stress Syndrome, and the article I read said something about how people who have significant stress/trauma as children, if they eventually get to a place where they're stable, and comfortable, and happy in life that their brain can actually partially heal itself. Now obviously trauma will never completely go away... But Wolfie is proof that you can go from the depths to a much brighter place in your own head. Getting away from his mother, getting out of the US, getting away from his previous job, kind of starting over away from all the stress did amazing things for him which is one reason I never get upset that he took off out of the country like he did. He needed it. And I told him that my parents are going to ask him why he left me here, and why it's taken him so long to get back, and he needs to tell them that he did what he did to eventually provide the best stability for their daughter. He's not working 15+ hours days like he was here so he actually has time for me now, he's much more financially better off, and mentally/emotionally he's in a completely different place than he was a couple years ago. He needed time to get his shit together before he felt worthy enough to take me away. I firmly believe we've reached that point. We're both in a better place to finally do this thing. My parents have heard all this from me. They need to hear it from him. Although I'm not thrilled about having to get vaccinated... I just don't like being forced to do something I don't want to do. It's funny because I have a medically induced weakened immune system, and I haven't ever gotten covid, and I worked in a highly public place for over a year, never got sick. When the owner got it, my boss got it, my parents got it, my siblings got it, I was completely untouched. I had a cold last year, but it wasn't ever in my lungs. But if that's what it takes then I'll do it to start my new life with the man I love.
So now instead of going to Hawaii my sister is wanting everyone to go to Italy. So Wolfie is on board with that now xD It would be nice since it'll be a year from now so then he, and I could meet up with them in Europe. By then we should be pretty settled, and married and everything. If we could put the wedding off for another year... But Wolfie says it will be better to get married inside of Russia for our purposes of showing the government there we're a serious couple wanting to live there. Again, I don't care much about the actual wedding, but I don't like that my mother can't be there. But it'll be fine, as long as I have Wolfie, it'll be ok. I feel like my future is just all up in the air right now.
I'm so exhausted today. I couldn't sleep last night then had to get up early to go to my nephew's football game, and had errands to run all day. I also ate way too much. I generally eat once a day, my body is accustomed to that, so when I have a day where I eat three solid meals it's just like... way too much. But I got to talk to Wolfie most of the day. He usually doesn't do much on the weekends so I get to soak up his attention :3

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06:07 Oct 22 2022
Times Read: 708


I had 14 sales over the week, pretty awesome. They've really picked up this month, but that's normal the closer we get to the end of the year. But my closet is really clearing out. I can actually maneuver around now instead of everything being smooshed up together which is something I couldn't say when I moved all my sale items in there. Honestly, I'm proud of myself on how much I've gotten rid of ^^ It'll be less hassle for Wolfie to deal with. We're officially less than one week away from his contract being done which is when he can finally start planning coming back. Like I said, since he's been working for a lawyer he has to sign a few things legally before he can leave, and he has to get his tax paperwork sorted, but maybe in 2-3 weeks he'll actually be back. So yay for that. He's having the workers put skylights into our apartment, one last thing he decided to do just to make it a bit brighter for me. He said since we're top floor you can see Red Square from our apartment. I might actually have to get on social media, and start taking pictures of everything xD There's just not really anything to see here, my life here is not exciting, but with him it is. The funny thing is that Wolfie doesn't really do social media either. Like my mom tried looking him up, and she didn't find anything like Facebook or Instagram, that's not really his thing, and he's really too busy for any of that. Bur he said he'd like to take a couple months off after this job to get us moved, and settled, and maybe travel a bit after. He was asking me today about how I felt about us having a wedding in Russia, and like brutally honestly I told him, hey, we don't need to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a wedding that really no one I know can even come to, like ir would all be his people. So I'd rather do a smaller ceremony, and then use that money we save on a killer honeymoon. That just makes more sense to me.
And after I told him that he looked at me, and said, "This is why I love you, bunny, you're so intelligent."
I have my moments :3
It just doesn't make sense to spend all that money on like... probably less than 50 people, none of which are even there for me. And we can always have a better, bigger ceremony someday if we decide to. It's just not necessary right now. And after having gone through... four big weddings with both of my sisters, I just don't really care about having one, it's a lot of waste. I will take being on a beach in Greece over being in a poofy white dress any day. Maybe my family can come over to Europe, and we can have a thing there at some point. I'm sure Wolfie could find a house for everyone to stay in. My brother would be the main problem, with his schizophrenia he doesn't do well being cramped up with a bunch of people. But maybe in a few years, we'll see. I've never been a wedding person, I was never that little girl that planned her wedding out. In fact, when I was very small I told my father regularly that I was never getting married xD But for Wolfie... he's the exception❤️
When he called, I was in the middle of coaching my oldest nephew in playing Elden Ring xD And this is the kid who couldn't make it past the Minotaur in Dark Souls... He's not bad at games, the Souls games just aren't for every one. It's kinda like for me games like Animal Crossing and Dreamlight Valley are boring as fuck. I loved Animal Crossing on the GameCube, I played the shit outta that. But the Switch version feels off. And most Disney shit is garbage, with a few exceptions. But that's what I mean, I'm pretty picky about games, it's pretty rare that one really grabs me. I can't even think of a game I'm looking forward to right now. Maybe Diablo 4, I told the kids if I leave my ps4 here, and get a ps5 later then maybe we'll be able to play together when it comes out. Wolfie is getting back into Guild Wars and Warframe, both of which he really wants to get me into after we get me my own PC. I'm just not an online gamer... But for him, I can do it💗
But Wolfie, and I were both trying to help my nephew with Elden Ring, what classes are available, what stats to level, what definitely not to walk up, and poke xD He didn't last very long. Wolfie says, "Don't worry, my love, not everyone is a gaming masochist like you." I think that's a very apt term for people who overly enjoy Souls games... I think you have to be somewhat masochistic to overly enjoy games that fuck you that hard, and beg for more xD

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05:48 Oct 19 2022
Times Read: 744


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05:33 Oct 19 2022
Times Read: 762


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01:43 Oct 19 2022
Times Read: 797


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Maybe... a couple more things...
I do intend to be red-headed when Wolfie gets back. I had considered going back to blonde, but there are a lot of pretty, bleach blonde women in Russia, it's kind of a thing. And Wolfie really, really, really loves the red, I think he has a thing for redheads. He always tells me that I'm most beautiful in any hair color... But he would prefer it not be pink for meeting his family xD Which I understand. I want to appear as a responsible, mature, capable young woman who is more than good enough for him. I want to have nice clothes, shoes, makeup, I want to look like a respectable woman, and not the chaotic, slightly psycho bunny I tend to be. I can pretend to be normal, no problem :3 Wolfie says I should just be myself, and they'll love me, but... It's still ten more days til his contract is up plus however long it takes him to settle up everything there. He said he's already packed, and ready to leave which is kind of adorable, but because he's been working for a lawyer he has to sign a bunch of stuff legally, and make sure all the paperwork is clear before he leaves. Otherwise, they might be calling him once he's here wanting him to come back for something, and that's just not on the table, once he's here he's never, ever allowed to leave again without me xD He is well aware that once he's back in my clutches, wherever he goes, I go. Which is why he's been working so hard on getting things ready for us to move so we don't have to do the back and forth anymore. Moving your future bride to an entirely different place isn't the easiest thing to do, but he's been very dedicated to making it work for both of us. I do wish people would stop talking to me as if I don't have a choice. He's not forcing me to go, it's my choice, and I choose him. That's my life, my dream, my everything. And honestly, Wolfie can offer me so much. It's not like he's taking me away into poverty. He's giving me comfort, care, luxury, and security. And it's not just in a material sense, he truly does give me everything emotionally which is most important. I'm ready for the adventure to begin❤️
And this is how fucking nerdy we are...
He said to me, "Ok, bunny, we'll play a game. You play Dark Souls, and the first boss that kills you, I get to do whatever I want to you."
If it's Dark Souls 1... I think I could beat the whole game without dying if I really tried. So I'm not sure he'd enjoy that game xD He gets to do whatever he wants to me anyway :3 I spent a couple hundred on new lingerie yesterday just for him. I'm sure every Dom has their certain tastes, and I am very keenly locked in on exactly what drives Wolfie crazy❤️

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23:48 Oct 18 2022
Times Read: 822


Two sales yesterday to start my week. Two more coming through by Friday. I could've had another one today, but the bitch got greedy. I had three dresses I was selling together, and she only wanted one. Together I wanted $69 for them, but for the one she wanted separated I said I'd do $35. So she gives me some passive-aggressiveness attitude about how she thought it would be split into three making each dress $23. I explained that together they had a bundle discount, the one she wanted was the most expensive one in the bunch, and that I was already selling it separately for $39 had she bothered to look for it, but that I would graciously do $35 just for her. Then after getting everything ready she complains that it doesn't have free shipping, and proceeds to offer me $30. I wish free shipping was free for everyone, but unfortunately free shipping means that I'm paying for your item to get to you, and that ain't fuckin happening. I understand wanting shit for as little possible... I want a lot of things too, and I get them by not handing out free shipping to cheapskates. Getting a $55 dress for $35 is already a pretty stellar deal, I'm sorry the $4 shipping broke you.
Then I had someone trying to return something because it was too big on her. I hate people who try to return due to sizing issues with a burning fucking passion because I am not a large chain brand store, and these people have every opportunity to ask for measurements before buying. I don't want people to have things they're not happy with, but it's not really fair to me to want me to take something back over sizing, something I literally cannot control. It's just a minor annoyance.
Wolfie called me early this morning to talk for a bit while he was out getting cake. His aunt called, and interrupted us, and I felt kinda bad because he said she was feeling depressed. Then she showed up, and asked Wolfie to drive her to Vienna. It's only a couple hours drive, and it is nice to do for his his aunt who is in her 70s... But she interrupted Bunny time. Wolfie has been so tired because he's been super busy, and I know he wanted to go visit her anyway before he left Europe... but Bunny time... But she's the head of the family currently so... I do kinda wanna be in her good graces. I'm not gonna kiss ass or anything, but I do want her to like me if possible. I never understand how anyone could not like me, I'm adorable :3

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06:36 Oct 18 2022
Times Read: 855


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06:21 Oct 18 2022
Times Read: 863


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06:02 Oct 18 2022
Times Read: 879


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07:09 Oct 17 2022
Times Read: 915


Wolfie talked to me for a few hours today... But I miss him already. We've both said we shouldn't be emotionally dependent on each other, but it's kinda too late for that. But it's not in a bad way. We're not nonfunctional without each other. We're just better together.
Before he falls asleep he gets really quiet, and tells me, "You really are the best thing that's happened to me..."
He says he doesn't have the nightmares when I'm there before he falls asleep. I give him peace. I make him feel safe.
Do you know how it feels to be a person's everything?
To have them build up the world just for the two of you?
❤️

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04:44 Oct 17 2022
Times Read: 938


I got up to 11 sales before the weekend ended. That's an amazing take for the weekend since usually I do maybe half that on a good weekend. So I decided to treat myself to a few makeup items from Chanel. I just wanted a few things to put in my travel bag for touchups while I'm traveling, and they were offering free next-day shipping so hopefully it'll be here by Tuesday.
Wolfie called, and spent a few hours with me. He's been super busy getting ready to leave Europe, but he still tries to make time for me. Unfortunately, he called right in the middle of me, and the kids having a gaming tournament xD And it was a little too loud for him. He asked me how I don't go completely insane from having them running around screaming constantly. I dunno, I'm just used to it. Wolfie is never really around kids except his 11 year old nephew, and he said kids in Russia are much more composed. But he's nephew is also like genius level with his own business. The kids here... They're not unintelligent, they're just wild animals xD Another reason I told Wolfie it's totally ok if we don't stay here. He wants to spend more time with everyone, and he really wants to have a serious conversation with my parents about me leaving with him. I told him it's really my mother that he has to convince. My mother is pretty protective of me, probably moreso than my other siblings because of my health. She's a really nice person, and she does like him, but taking me to another country... I'm an adult so it's not like she can stop me, but Wolfie doesn't want any animosity between anyone so he's insisting on having a whole conversation where he'll reassure them that he'll take good care of me. He's so considerate. I asked him how we're going to handle shipping my stuff to Russia since most major shipping companies aren't shipping to Russia. He says we can have it shipped to China then sent to Moscow from there. It also sucks that we can't fly straight to Russia from here, we have to go through another country that's still flying there. It's all just a giant pain in the ass. Wolfie is still working on getting his permanent residency papers in for Europe just in case, that's one of the last things he's working on before he leaves. He's kinda worried about us moving to Russia, and then them closing the borders for years. I don't think that'll happen... But it definitely could. That's just how Wolfie is, be likes to have several backup plans for everything, always prepared. Which is great because I'm never prepared for anything xD

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10:06 Oct 16 2022
Times Read: 986


After I said I wasn't going to be up til 4am again... Here we are. I had stayed up watching horror movies with my oldest nephew. I really like hanging out with him, he's a good boy. I love spending time with all the kids though. Wolfie asked me if I'll be lonely without them after we move. I mean, yeah, obviously I'll miss them a lot. But I can't revolve my life around them especially with them getting older. I'll have other things to occupy me after we move, specifically spending much more time with the man I love. I told him I want us to explore Moscow together, and it's a pretty big place so that's a good start. Tearing Wolfie away from work is never the easiest thing to do, but he told me to make him do it because he doesn't want to work his life away. He always tells me it's just what he got used to because when I'm not there, there's no reason for him to go out, and do things by himself, but when I am there he enjoys having adventures with me. Although he said he may want to spend a few days just in bed with me, but I am totally fine with that, we both deserve it. He's been telling me about Russian food, and some of it sounds pretty... not great xD I told him I'll definitely try anything he orders for me, but maybe don't tell me exactly what it is if it's super weird. Like he was describing this meat jelly/pudding stuff, and gotta say I'm not thrilled to try that, but he assures me it's really good so... But he also said if I don't like Russian food then he'll make me anything I like. Cooking is his area, he's really great at it, he cooks, I bake. He said he had a really nice new oven put into the apartment specifically for me. I asked him for pictures of the apartment because he said the guys who worked on it were showing him their progress, but then I decided against it because I want it to be a surprise, I think Wolfie will be happy to unveil it for me in person when he properly carries me over the threshold xD Although I don't think we'll be married yet at that point. He said one of the first things we need to do is get my name on the apartment so we can get my paperwork there going, show them that I'm living somewhere with my future husband who is totally taking care of me. He said it'll mostly be a lot of paperwork so nothing too bad. I keep asking how much all this is costing him, and he always laughs, and tells me that's for him to worry about. I know he said he wanted to fly First Class back to Europe which is like... $10,000 a piece. You could buy a fucking car for that. Not a great car, but still. I guess because I'm small it's not a big deal to be in tight places like economy seating on a plane, but Wolfie is very tall, and needs the legroom so I kinda get it.
I'm up from 6 to 9 sales now for the weekend so yay for that. That's nine more things clearing out, hopefully a couple more by Monday💗

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09:24 Oct 15 2022
Times Read: 1,024


Was up til 3am playing games on the Switch with my nieces and nephews. My entire body was hurting from laughing so hard so needless to say that the Switch was a very solid investment. I'm thinking I might leave it here for them because there isn't really much that Nintendo has to offer me as a single player gamer especially if Wolfie is going to get me a PS5, and a proper gaming PC, it's probably better to leave it here for them. I didn't hear from Wolfie much today, he's super busy getting ready to leave Europe in a couple weeks. Thursday was my mother's birthday, and like I mentioned we went to a paint party for it, and while we were there Wolfie told me, "Tell your mom I said happy birthday, and thank her from me for raising such an amazing woman." She said she knows xD It's sweet though. I could tell my sister was getting annoyed at the party because the instructor kept complimenting my painting. I'm just naturally artistic, and I'm not critical on myself like she is. If I'm not good at something it doesn't bother me. But that's how her son is too, if my nephew isn't good at something just from trying it once, he'll never do it again. I try to tell him that he can do anything if he just puts in the work, but he only wants to do things he's naturally good at like sports. I just feel like with that kinda attitude you'll miss out on a lot. And I don't teach these kids to be quitters. I had more fun at the paint party though than I thought I would, and I'd be really interested in taking some painting classes in Moscow. But we'll see when Wolfie makes it back, it could be in a couple weeks, it could be in a couple years, you never really know with him. I've already made six sales so far this weekend though so I'm very happy about that, stuff tends to sell better towards the end of the year with the holidays coming in soon, and selling spooky stuff means around Halloween is prime season for me. Hoping I get a couple more in before the weekend is over, it's about time I really try to clear out as much as possible. It's exciting because I want to get rid of stuff anyway, it'll be interesting when my closet is empty, my bedroom, my everything. Wolfie will have to help me pack when he's here, but I'm not planning on taking much, just a couple boxes. My whole life in a couple boxes sent across the ocean.

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07:44 Oct 14 2022
Times Read: 1,083


The character creation music for Dark Souls is so relaxing. I wanna build a life-size replica of Firelink Shrine that I can sit at, and ponder my life's choices xD Because I tend to do that a lot in Souls games. As I sit there at the bonfire, and wonder where to go in the game my thoughts drift to where am I going in life? Firelink is really good for that. Or Majula. The Hunter's Dream. The Nexus. Elden Ring is kind of lacking in a good thinking spot. There's Roundtable Hold, but I honestly didn't spend much time there, just breezed through upgrading stuff. It all looks so small now that I've touched every corner. I still haven't gone back, and finished the game, killed off the Elden Beast. I'm not sure why, I think beating Malenia just felt so final like she should have been the end. Who cares about the Elden Beast or Marika or the Greater Will?
I intend to get a PS5 after we move if only so I can finally play the Demon's Souls remake. Ten years ago that's where it all started for me, laying in my ex's bed, playing for hours on end. Years later Wolfie would approach me, and ask if I liked Dark Souls, and everything went from there. One thing led to another led to me being exactly where I belong. All because one day ten years ago I walked into a store, and picked up some nothing game that back then no one was talking about. Fate is... kinda perfect sometimes.
I've got much better things to do in mine and Wolfie's bed... But there's room for some Demon's Souls too❤️

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06:16 Oct 14 2022
Times Read: 1,109


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23:28 Oct 13 2022
Times Read: 1,149


New Gothic clothes for the week🖤

First, we've got these gorgeous leggings from Killstar.
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This is one of my favorite designs that KS has ever released, I just find it to be very beautiful. These sold out awhile back, but I found them for a pretty good deal. I wasn't really big on leggings until last year when I started wearing them for work, but I think it'll be good to have some for Russia. I am typically very much a skirt and dress girl.

Speaking of dresses, I've got some gorgeous ones in today.
Several months ago I got this one.
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Which I utterly adore the color of. But recently they also released a black version.
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Which is the exact same dress, it's just black, but it also has another small added detail.
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This sweet little rose cross charm.
Suddenly I'm in the mood to watch Vampire Knight.... I fucking love Vampire Knight🖤

Then there's this one.
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It's a moonlit Cemetery Scene. Very ethereal, ghostly, and the design is super vivid, it's just beautiful.

Annnd this one.
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So with this one I couldn't really tell exactly what was on it from the model pictures... But it looked nice and spooky xD And turns out it's just like various spooky women.
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Veiled, in coffins, in Victorian dresses, it's full of detail, and honestly pretty interesting so I'm glad I got it.

And finally this beautiful cardigan in red velvet.

It also has roses on the buttons so it compliments the black dress very well.
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I still haven't put in my KS order. I know, I know, the cut-off point... But I mean, it doesn't really matter since Wolfie probably won't be coming back til at least a couple weeks after his contract is up. And as of today that puts it at 15 days away, two weeks from tomorrow. He's still debating on whether or not he's going to make a little trip back over to Vienna to visit his aunt before he leaves. I don't personally mind if it doesn't keep him from coming back even longer. It's only like a two hour drive, but still.
I've been roped into a painting thing by both my sisters for my mother's birthday today. I love drawing, and painting, and whatever... But with this they're giving you a premade template picture, you just get to paint it whatever colors you want. It's on the level of paint by numbers/diamond painting, I just don't really see the point in doing something that takes such little skill. But my mother enjoys it so that's what we're doing, and I'm not going to complain about it. I really do want to get into properly painting after Wolfie, and I move to Moscow, he says he knows people who could buy or sell my art if I wanted to do it professionally. I'm just not sure what I'll paint... He also said he'd get me into some classes if I'd like. I've never taken any classes before so I am a bit intrigued by it. I've always been an artistic person, I'm just not sure I'm up to being professionally artistic, but we'll see how it goes. Gotta get moved first, and that's going to be a whole ordeal. I told Wolfie I'm nervous xD

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05:54 Oct 13 2022
Times Read: 1,193


My dad brought me this.
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Ya know what, he tries xD I do have several Joker posters hanging around my bedroom. I'm not obsessed or anything... I just, I always kinda had a thing for him since I was a very much smaller bun, about 5 or 6 years old.
Obviously the Joker to my heart will always be:
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Just like original Harley will always be my Harley.
But I mean, I was never hugely offended by Jared Leto as Joker like some people. I didn't think it was bad. And honestly, he made him pretty attractive. I don't think anyone will ever beat out Heath Ledger in terms of live action. But I did really like Joaquin Phoenix, I think that movie in general does a great job at representing the unfortunate way people treat mental illness, like it's not really a thing, and that people who have it should just... get over it. But it's literally an illness of the brain so... how do you get over that? Ever since I met Wolfie 6+ years ago, and I fell in love with him it was required of me to try to understand the darkness in him. Most people when they meet someone, and they realize there's something inside of them that isn't quite right, they write that person off instead of putting in the work to try, and understand it. But... Wolfie is amazing. He's got terrible things in his head, and like most villains he has a very tragic past. He's no villain though. He's really the sweetest, warmest, kindest soul. But he does have issues. Funny enough, he has these uncontrollable laughing fits where he'll start laughing like a fucking homicidal maniac, talking about how everything is pointless. And after he always feels really bad because he doesn't want to scare me. It doesn't scare me, but I think it scares him. Sometimes it's like he barely has a grip on his sanity, and in this world who can blame him? He says he feels like people are afraid of him. I don't think he's scary at all though. This is a man that without hesitation I allow to tie me up, and do whatever he likes to me. He's really no danger to anyone. He just has a very dark aura, and I think people can feel that.
Was it really a surprise that I fell for someone with massive psychological issues? Well, I didn't exactly know the extent of them when we met. He warned me, but it wasn't until about a month in that I saw the full force of his depression. And instead of running away I decided right then that I would do everything to understand his darkness even if it meant coming to terms with my own.
I think the posters can stay here though. Or go to the kids if any of them want them. Wolfie appreciates my sense of decoration, but maybe a lil bit classier xD He was telling me earlier, "Now, Bun, I know you tend to wander away from me when we're out, but Moscow is very big, you could get lost."
It's true, I kinda tunnel vision when I see something colorful or shiny :3 This is a problem that could be solved if society would be less judgmental about me being leashed in public xD But apparently Russia is even more conservative than here so... that's going to be fun. He said he was having the guys working on the apartment putting certain things in the playroom, but none of the actual equipment or toys or anything because he wants to do that himself. I'm curious how he's going to get an entire St. Andrew's Cross up to the top floor. Either in pieces or a very large, totally subtle box...


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05:11 Oct 12 2022
Times Read: 1,224


HKE2
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06:22 Oct 11 2022
Times Read: 1,274


Wolfie has been giving me a ton of attention. It's nice because we have these 8 hour conversations, and we can do that without it ever turning sexual. Our sex life is amazing, but it's not everything, it's not all there is to us. We have these long, intellectual conversations that I love because Wolfie never treats me like I'm just a dumb blonde, actually he's always telling me how he loves me because of how intelligent I am. I am very bright, and hyper, and bubbly, but that doesn't mean I don't have a brain, I just try to be a happy person. Plus, Wolfie says it means everyone underestimates me, and that's a good thing. Wolfie also never treats me like I'm some toy to pick up, and play with when it's convenient, but then hide me away when he doesn't have time. He makes time. He doesn't make me feel inferior or less than. He tells me I'm adorable but terrifying xD And maybe that's how you should feel about your future wife. He said that Russian society is very matriarchal, and that women are often in charge of everything, including the finances. He's not totally sure about that with me xD Hey, I do spend a lot of money, but I also make a lot of money, and save a lot of money, I'm pretty balanced when it comes to finances. I may be a little wild, impulsive rabbit, but I can be responsible when I want to be. I know when to be serious. Wolfie's problem is that he's serious like 24/7. He asked me, "Do you think people ever look at us weird? The tiny, bubbly blonde with the tall, dark, serious Mr. Brooding." I mean, I'm kinda used to people staring because of how I dress, but who cares what people think? I like our dynamic. I don't think I'd like to be with someone exactly like me, that sounds like a lot of work xD

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06:07 Oct 10 2022
Times Read: 1,320


Sometimes I feel really bad for Wolfie... because my nieces, and nephews completely adore him, and it's fucking overwhelming xD Anytime he's around or on video chat they're just so loud, fighting for his attention, asking him a million questions, and I'm just like, seriously guys... They treat him like a sideshow attraction because he speaks so many languages so they ask him, "How do you say dragon in Russian? How do you say Bunny in French? How do you say cinnamon roll in German?" And I guess people who are licensed translators probably get that a lot, and it's kinda cute, but poor Uncle Wolfie isn't around kids much except for them, but he tries his best. And then I also have to fight for his attention, and I'm glad they love him so much, but eventually I had to run away to the backyard just to get him alone to myself xD I don't mind sharing, I'm glad they make him laugh if nothing else, but I need my Wolfie time, he's mine, back off tiny creatures of doom. He was telling me how crazy, and chaotic they are. Well... they are related to me :3 They're really excited for him to be back, I don't quite think they realize that, that means I'll be leaving, and not just for the couple weeks this time, it's for much longer. We're down to 18 days now til his contract is up. It's also three more weeks til Halloween so that's also exciting. With the kids all over we finally got things decorated properly, and they're all very excited to dress as clowns this year. They don't even ask to go trick-or-treating, they always want to stay at the house, and scare people. Makes me so proud💗

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09:27 Oct 09 2022
Times Read: 1,363


I have entirely too much makeup...
But I had to have these xD
20221009-023753
20221009-023926
I saw these online a couple days ago, and almost bought them then so when I saw them in store I knew the Universe wanted me to have them. And if it were any color but red them I probably wouldn't have, but I do use a lot of red eyeshadow so it's good for me. I went through my makeup not too long ago, and got of probably 75% of it so I really don't have that much anymore, but I do probably have more palettes than I need. But they're mostly mini palettes so it's not too bad.
I'm going to have to go in, and have a talk with my former boss before I leave the US. I guess my dad ran into him, and he told him that my former coworker is ruling the place like a tyrant now. I guess she feels all powerful after having got rid of me. Bitch, I had to leave anyway. But he also told my dad that there was a mysterious electrical problem which made them lose all their food, and ice cream. Shucks... isn't it just awful the way bad things always happen to people who piss me off? I guess he told my dad he doesn't know what to do with the horses. But like... he put money into them too so they're equally his, and he has my blessing to do as he pleases with them, keep them, sell them, I don't care. I was never emotionally attached to them because I knew when we got them that I wouldn't be here much longer, I was always going to have to leave them. But my dad says he thinks he's keeping them in hopes that I'll start going out there, and hanging out with him again because we were friends. The thing is... in the end, he didn't stand up for me against that old whore. And my dad tells me that my former boss speaks of this with regret, that he wishes he had said something. Too late now. I don't understand why he lets that bitch run that place when he's literally the owner of it. Sure, she's a family friend, but ya know... If your friend is running you into the ground, time to find a new friend. Which can you afford to lose, your friend or your business? Like I said, I had to quit either way, but I thought he'd maybe stand up for me, for himself in that moment. Didn't happen. I wasn't surprised, he's a whipped dog, but I'd hoped for his sake. And I just don't want that around me. Being around him is unfortunately being around the drama that revolves around that place. And I can't truly call someone a friend who doesn't have my back. He doesn't even have his own back so that tells you a lot. I feel bad for him, but at the same time I don't because if you're a grown-ass person in a shitty situation then get yourself out. Stop whining, stop bitching, stop accepting less than you deserve, claw your way out if you have to. You have the ability to change your life if you just make the changes necessary. It's like with Wolfie, it took a few years to get through to him that the way he was living, mostly working like 15+ hours a day, it's not really having a life, it's equivalent to being a machine. That's why he left the US so suddenly, an opportunity came, and he jumped on it to break the cycle he was in. And he's still a workaholic... But nothing like he used to be. He wanted to change things, to create something that would help people, and maybe if I hadn't turned him into a lovedrunk fool then he would have. But he was so miserable, I couldn't stand to watch him working himself to death. He's happier now, he's so much more stable. He was telling me that a couple days ago, that he didn't want us to move in together until he felt emotionally/physically/mentally stable enough to do it. And he says he feels ready for it now. I believe it, he's really come a long way. He completely changed his life. My former boss just... doesn't have it in him to change anything, and I feel bad for him, but I tried to tell him. I feel like it's the honorable thing to do to go talk to him before I leave, maybe give him some closure. I'm just not really sure what to say. People keep telling me he's trying to get ahold of me, I literally live three blocks down the street from where he is every say. So he's really not trying that hard.
We're now less than 20 days til Wolfie's contract is up. He said that since he has to stick around a bit afterwards to get some paperwork stuff sorted out, that he'd like to pop over to Vienna, and see his aunt again before he leaves. He also said he needs to get me some Swiss chocolate, and other presents so I approve xD And it's only a couple hours drive so it's not a whole thing.
Wolfie had been talking to me about engagement rings. He asked if I would prefer to help him pick my ring out myself. Because ya know, it'll be mine, something I'll wear on my body for the rest of my life, it's important that I love it. It is typically viewed as more romantic for the person asking to pick it out, but I think it's sweet that he wants me to have exactly what I want. He also mentioned that an uncle of his has his grandmother's wedding ring, and he was considering persuading him to give it up so he could give it to me. I dunno if I'm worthy of wearing his old Russian family heirloom... But he always says his grandpa would've loved me, and his grandpa was one of his favorite people before he died. So it's a very sweet idea. I'm not sure what he'll decide. He always wants me to be in on the decision making, he says, "It's your life too, my bunny." I'm not really great at deciding things... Obviously, I'm a Libra💗

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22:17 Oct 07 2022
Times Read: 1,405


Got a decent haul today♡

A new Petite Bunny Gloss Bar in Grape
20221007-145025
So now I have Happy Bunny(Peach)
Grumpy Bunny(Apple)
And Neutral Bunny(Grape)
I could just go to the actual brand that sells these, but I think it's more fun to get them one by one :3 And they are decent gloss that smells amazing.

Not Your Basic Witch Mini Dress
Polish-20221007-153022319
Baby pink velvet mini with pentagram strap back. This is probably more of a bedroom dress... There's short, and them There's SHORT, and this is pretty dang short.

Own Your Magic Skirt Set
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I love black paired with baby pink. This skirt also goes really well with another top I got.
Polish-20221007-153120048
How can I be expected to dress like an adult when there are all these cute clothes out there xD

And I got the matching skirt to the vest, and socks I purchased last time.
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I didn't realize it was a knit skirt, but it really pulls the whole look together, I love it. Just needs some thigh high hosiery, and a pair of MaryJanes.

And another hoodie and skirt set.
Polish-20221007-153004159
I dunno, I've been very into devil horns lately xD And the little wings are just adorable.

And finally a gorgeous new dress.
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Moons, and rainbows and magic. I love the cotton candy color scheme, it always draws me in.

So I also got something I did not order...
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Nor would I ever order xD It's um... not me. And now I have to get rid of. I guess it's something free to sell, but when I looked at it on their website it's still full stock so I kinda don't think anyone wants it.

I did make a couple more good sales since yesterday though so this week has been pretty amazing in that regard. I'm totally ok if I don't sell much over the weekend because the post office is closed on Monday, and people don't understand federal holidays so they expect you to ship on days you literally can't. I hate when people buy from me on Friday evening, and expect me to ship before Monday. Like... technically my post office is open til noon on Saturdays, but I'm not going to rush there in the morning just for one person, like, be reasonable. If I buy something, and it's not like overnight delivery, I allow a week for them to ship before I get annoyed about it. Stuff comes up, you can't always get there right away, but if you can't get there within a week you shouldn't be selling anything. But a lot of people get bent out of shape if their shit isn't tracking by same/next day. I'm not fucking Amazon. It's going to be interesting moving my business to Russia because I have no idea what to expect there. Is there a decent Gothic subculture in Moscow? I know there is in Europe, most of the stuff I buy is from Europe so it'll be nice being closer to my sources. Wolfie says that I could expand into designer stuff if I wanted to since that stuff is pretty popular in Russia. So if I have to adapt then I will. It's nice that stuff is selling so easily though. Probably partially due to me lowering the price I'm willing to accept on a lot of stuff. If you wait long enough then you can definitely get more from the right buyer for just about anything, but at this point when I'm just trying to clear it all out I don't mind taking less as long as I'm not taking a loss. I am still planning on putting my last KS order in soon. There's just a couple more things, I need them xD

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MistressofChains
MistressofChains
10:34 Oct 08 2022

i like your outfits





 

02:31 Oct 07 2022
Times Read: 1,443


I made seven more sales in the past 24 hours. That's usually what I make over a weekend so it's kinda nice getting that little boost mid-week. And then I turned around, and bought a bunch of stuff xD And then they released a bunch of stuff this morning that I really want which I knew would happen as soon as I put my order in, but it's fine. I still haven't put in my Killstar order yet. I've been waiting for them to have a decent sale, but it doesn't look like that's happening. They had a 31% off sale a week ago, but of course everything I wanted was excluded from the sale. I know they'll have a sitewide sale probably the whole week before Halloween, but like I've said, I kinda need to have a cutoff point on buying stuff since we're now only 3 weeks away from Wolfie's contract being up, and him possibly coming to get me. He asked, "I'm not going to have to fight my way through all the kids to take you, right?" Wellll... xD They're pretty scrappy. And he is taking their favorite aunt. He makes it sound like I'm not going willingly though, like he's kidnapping me in the dead of night. Not quite accurate. But I get it, the kids are going to be upset, we'll just have to live with that. I've been right here from day one with all of them, it's going to be a big change for all of us. Wolfie tried to make it work here, he really did, but almost immediately after he bought the house for us, his mother bought one right down the street, and it fucking ruined it for him. He said he doesn't think she'll ever move back to Russia because she hates it there, and honestly I'd prefer if she didn't even have our address, but that's probably not likely since Wolfie is close to his aunt, her sister, and she knows where the apartment is. I asked him, without giving my opinion on it, if he'd like to invite his mother to our wedding, and thankfully he said no. Because... I can't. I can't have the woman who viciously abused, and still tries to abuse the man I'm marrying at our wedding, absolutely not. But I wanted him to make that choice on his own, and I'm glad he chose correctly. But yeah, she pretty much made it so Wolfie wants to entirely leave this country, plus he has more contacts, money, property, and opportunities across the ocean so it just makes more sense for us to move there. He's already got my health care figured out too so I'm relieved about that. It's not that my health is super high maintenance, I'm actually very stable considering, but I do need to start seeing a doctor more regularly so he's taking care of that. My mom said she keeps expecting me to just take off, and go by myself. I've made it abundantly clear to Wolfie that I am not traveling internationally alone, I will not be moved until he gets back to get me. And Wolfie agreed that he'd never allow me to travel to him by myself thay far anyway. Between cities in the US is no big deal, I've gone one end to the other of the US on my own, and I'm sure I could very competently get to Russia on my own as well if I tried, but I don't want to. Besides, Wolfie has to bring me paperwork from his lawyer to get my entry permit so it's kinda necessary for him to come back either way. So I'm definitely not just going to leave. Maybe I used to do that when I was younger, but I like to think I've grown, and Wolfie wants to do things properly, he's not agreeable to stealing me away, he wants to make sure everyone is ok with me leaving with him. I love that about him, that how my family feels about him is important. They do like him so I don't think there will be any issues. I've been trying to kinda prepare everyone for me leaving... My oldest sister said I'm not leaving xD I get it, all of my siblings live in the same little nowhere town, but I feel like one of us should get out there. The kids will be fine, but it's sweet that Wolfie worries❤️

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03:18 Oct 06 2022
Times Read: 1,487


I always feel like an old married couple when Wolfie reads me the news xD He's sitting there reading, and I tell him he should stop reading the news because it just gets him worked up.
"I like to be informed, my love."
Yeah, except the news doesn't really inform, it just hypes shit up. The world is distorted, no one can really say what's real or not, and the news is there to get views, you can't trust it. But Wolfie still reads it to me, and he gets worked up, but it's cute.
I had a really... gross/wholesome moment with him earlier xD He showed me this spot on his face where he had a pimple, and he was talking about how gross it made him feel, and I was just like... Ya know, I'm glad we're at that level of comfort with each other where he feels comfortable being like, "Hey honey, look at this disturbing, disgusting thing on my body." xD
No joke, I am glad about that because I feel like when people are together, but get grossed out by each other's bodies or behavior, that's not gonna be a successful relationship. I mean, when the left side of my face was covered in that mysterious rash at the beginning of the year, Wolfie still looked me in the eyes, well... eye, my left eye was pretty puffy, but he looked at me, and told me how beautiful I was. And I looked absolutely tragic although you can't tell now. But... he never made me feel like it. That's the man I wanna marry. The one who can look at my gross, rashy face, and still tell me how much he loves me💗
I was picking on him, telling him I expect a super romantic proposal when the time comes, and he told me that he has been thinking about it, but that he wants me to meet his family in Russia first. I think that's sweet, that he wants me to meet these people who are important to him before he asks. Obviously, just moving to Russia means accepting that we have to get married, bit he still wants to do things properly, and I appreciate that. Wolfie doesn't have much family he's very close to, but I know his aunt, and cousin are, and I'd really love if I could maybe become friends with his cousin's wife. Wolfie says we have a lot in common, we're very protective and bossy with the men in our lives, and we want expensive things xD I can work with that. Wolfie is alpha, he's the Dom, he's the man, but ya know, I am maybe slightly bossy at times... I prefer the term "sassy" :3

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06:44 Oct 03 2022
Times Read: 1,552


My weekend ended with 7 sales, not too bad. The more stuff flies outta my closet, the better I feel. Took my mom out for the day to run some errands, and sglhe told me they're planning a family trip to Hawaii for next October for their 40th anniversary, and my oldest sister's 39th birthday because she was actually born there while my dad was stationed there. I asked Wolfie what he thought about us going, and he said it sounded great so hopefully a year from now Wolfie will get to join everyone for a proper family vacation. Well, my brother won't go, but the three sister's would be there, close enough. As much as I love my brother, if you invite him anywhere it means you accept paying for everything for him, his wife, and his three kids. And this is from a fully functional two adult working household that pulls close to $100,000 a year... where the fuck does their money go? Sure, kids are expensive, but their kids also get a lot of hand-me-downs from my sisters.. of course, I end up buying his kids whatever they want when they go with us anywhere because I'm not one to deny them anything. But... my brother never pulls his fucking weight. I'd personally be embarrassed to go on vacation with my parents, and have them pay for EVERYTHING, but that's just how it is with him. He has no shame. So I would just not invite him. I'd take the kids, he can stay his ass at home. I don't even have a job anymore, and I still carry him. Although, the money from sales just in the past couple days alone is about as much as I was making in two weeks at my job... Another great reason I quit. Working my ass off for very little money, and no appreciation vs making the same money shopping... Easy choice. Now I'm really wanting to put in another big DK order xD I really, really don't need the stuff, but... it's cute clothes. How am I expected to say no to cute clothes?

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MistressofChains
MistressofChains
09:01 Oct 03 2022

I agree with you





 

05:47 Oct 02 2022
Times Read: 1,593


How do you kill Malenia with nothing, but a scythe, and a dream?
It's a good question xD
See, I did try to restat into Intelligence, and use Moonveil. And Moonveil is a very nice sword. But it's a very lazy sword because the main reason to use it is it's special attack, Transient Moonlight. So you start to rely purely on that instead of actually using any skill whatsoever. And I dunno... that kinda rubbed me wrong. I mean, if you want to bear Malenia just to beat her, just to say you did, then I guess going a really cheesy route is fine. But there's really no skill or honor in it. Now I understand that Malenia has some very cheap attacks that may make you feel like grasping at any advantage over her you can get. But personally, I couldn't do that to myself. I decided that if I couldn't beat her as my Dex/scythe build, my own character, that I had been playing through the entire game, I didn't deserve to beat her. I understand that restating is a useful thing especially in a game as large as Elden Ring where you may decide at some point to try different builds to determine what works for you. There's nothing wrong with that. But I already know what works for me, and changing it at the end for a single boss... Well, she deserves better than that.
I mean, it's just a game so maybe I'm a little crazy xD
But these games are important to me. I've been a gamer all my life, since my dad first handed me a Nintendo controller at 3 years old. And Malenia might just be my favorite Elden Ring character, she's pretty badass. So beating her legit was important to me. You may think her Waterfowl Dance is impossible to dodge, but it is doable, you just have to be fast. Summoning is also a hindrance as she will use your summon to refill her health. I love my Mimic, but the AI doesn't understand how to properly utilize my character, that dodging is extremely important so... my Mimic takes a lot of hits which is fine unless said hits refill the boss's healthbar such as is Malenia's case. I feel like it's only proper to fight her alone, that's how it should be. Her second phase really kicks your ass because she just does not give you time to breathe, her attacks are fast and relentless. Luck is important in winning a Souls fight. Hoping the boss doesn't use that one attack that kills you every time, and being just barely faster than them to get that one swing in that kills them instead of you.
I think Malenia is a beautiful fight. Is she tougher than Maria or Sister Friede? Probably harder than Maria... I've only beaten Sister Friede once, and I honestly could not tell you how I did it xD I never really thought before about the connection of Priscilla to Sister Friede... They both use scythes, they can both go invisible, they're both protecting the inhabitants of their respective painted worlds, and then you've got the statue behind Sister Friede's boss fight. Now I wanna deepdive back into some Dark Souls lore xD I will say, as much as I love Elden Ring, Dark Souls is above it, and Bloodborne is above both of them. And that's hard to say because... Dark Souls is... it's my Dark Souls. But Bloodborne is fucking Bloodborne❤️
I was talking to Wolfie about this earlier, how outrageous it is that anyone could say these are bad games.
"Well, bunbun, they are a bit difficult."
They're really not though. Not once you know what you're doing. I can sprint through Dark Souls or Bloodborne.
I was watching a really interesting lore video yesterday before Wolfie called about how the Greater Will is possibly NOT an outer God. Now... I did question that awhile back, a long time ago. I questioned, is the Greater Will just another outer God among other Outer gods or is it more akin to something like Bloodborne's Formless Oedon who is sorta... Greater than the other Outer Gods, ascended beyond what they are. I dunno, I can't say that I believe the Greater Will is the creator of the Lands Between, I don't think that's right, but I do think it being something more is definitely a possibility.
And then Wolfie calls me a big nerd, and tells me to go to bed xD

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03:15 Oct 02 2022
Times Read: 1,618


I haven't really practiced my Russian since January... But ya know, I feel like going back to it I'm starting to see the language. Maybe xD I'm having Wolfie help me a little. He says he can help more when he gets back. I'm six sales in this weekend so I'm feeling good :3 I really, really, really need to get rid of stuff... But I also kinda want one more little Killstar order. Just some of their recent releases are really appealing.
Polish-20221001-195655030
I looooove oversized hoodies, they're so comfy. And since I'm moving to somewhere... well, it's known for being cold in Russia, but Wolfie says it's like here, very cold in the Winter, but warm in the Summer. And we can always go to Europe during the really colder months. Wolfie's job won't demand that he be in the city so we can go anywhere. But still, we'll probably get back to Russia, and stay for a bit, Wolfie really wants us to get settled in. And while I do have plenty of warm clothing... more couldn't hurt. I also have to get rid of the free clothes that are in my replacement package. I tried to tell them that I received my package, and so they could intercept the one they just shipped to get their stuff back. But the customer service agent just kept telling me I could sent it back when it gets here for store credit. I'm like, no... See, I got my first package finally so you don't owe me anything so you can just have it back... But again, they told me to keep it or send it back for store credit. So that's like $400 worth of stuff for free. Almost lucky that my first package temporarily got lost, the Universe is funny that way. That's happened with a Killstar order too, they just randomly refunded me, and then my package showed up. But these are huge businesses so they can afford it. I really do need to taper off my spending though so... let's say one last KS order, and then we focus on getting rid of the stuff I'm already trying to get rid of. Once we get a little further down the wire I'll be ready to really drop prices simply to get rid of stuff, like when Wolfie gives me a solid date. I switched my sales stuff into my closet, and my closet stuff into a big box just to see how much I'd be taking. And it really is too much xD And that was after I pulled several more things out, and put them into the sales pile. I need to invest in some of those vacuum bags you can suck all the air out, and flatten everything, that might help a little... Of course, getting rid of half of it would also help, really, how much clothing do I need? I'm sure they have nice clothes there. Wolfie says there's a gym in the mall, and he'd like to get back into working out so we can do that. Definitely not an excuse to go to the mall every day... I might get him into jogging around with me. I told him he's going to have to be hard on me, getting me to eat better. I will resist, I will look up at him with big bunny eyes, and ask him for cake, and he has to tell me no xD Because I'm not good at telling myself no... And honestly, he's really not either. But I did ask him to be tough on my diet. Unless we're like specifically out eating stuff. But at home I want him to cook properly for me because he enjoys cooking, and he does it very well anyway. He even said we'll break out the antique china as long I don't handle any of it because... clumsy bunny. Wolfie feels a bit stagnant in Slovenia right now, he hates being stuck there, but it's just a few more weeks.

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21:19 Oct 01 2022
Times Read: 1,649


20221001-135203
Cakeworthy x Rocky Horror❤️🖤

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05:48 Oct 01 2022
Times Read: 1,500


Just when I thought it was settled... My missing package showed up on my porch this morning xD
After my replacement already got shipped...
This is absolutely UPS's fault.
But ya know, it showed up, the Universe righted itself, I appreciate it :3


20220930-120908
20220930-121146
20220930-121158
20220930-121735
20220930-121851
20220930-121603
20220930-122043
20220930-121424

Nothing I couldn't live without, but ya know, I'm glad it showed up :3
And then I got to spend 8 whole hours with Wolfie🥰 We didn't get to talk much yesterday, and he's been trying to spend more time with me. I got learn about something new today: Heated flooring. I had spilled my juice on the floor, and Wolfie reminded me that I'm a chaotic, clumsy, adorable bunny... But I asked him if our apartment had carpet. Cause... if it did he might want to get rid of it now xD But he told me he had heated marble floors put in. And being the simple peasant country girl I am, I had never heard of this sorcery, floors that are heated, and it kinda blows my mind. He told me not worry, in Russia they know how to stay warm. I rolled outta bed at noon earlier to 65 degrees, and I was like, omg, it's so cold xD And Wolfie's just like... "Gonna have to dress you like a polar bear." Hey, I'm small, I don't have much mass to keep me warm.
It's October though ^^ October hopefully means only 28 more days til Wolfie can leave Europe💗
He's really excited to show me the place so he only wants to stay at most a week here before he "absconds" with me. I told him that maybe that's not the best word to use with my parents xD It would almost be better that way because prying me away from all my nieces, and nephews is gonna be a whole crying thing... I was talking to my mom about it because she'd like to move too, but she doesn't want to leave when all her grandkids are right here. I told her what I tell myself, the kids will be fine. They're growing up, they're getting their own lives, they're gonna go on to get married, have kids, have their own things, and you shouldn't feel obligated to revolve your life around them. They've got parents, they've got other family, they're gonna be fine. And there's always video calls. And when they're old enough I'll be the cool aunt they can visit Russia and Europe with. I did also tell my mother she's welcome to come across the ocean when Wolfie, and I get married, but she agreed that it would probably be a hard trip on her so we'll probably end up broadcasting it so whoever wants to watch it can. But that's still a bit in the future. He needs to get back first, and then we can really figure things out❤️

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