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He lives in Hidden Hills. Hidden fucking Hills. Kanye apparently "lives down the street." Fucking Hidden Hills. It's where all the rich people in LA tend to live. Who the fuck am I dating?

I've never been to his place, I knew he lived in a nice area but... Fuck. I didn't expect that. I'm going to head over there tomorrow, since we're spending New Year's Eve together, but... I don't know what to expect. I really don't. As I said, money doesn't mean shit to me... But fuck. Hidden Hills... And, at some point I'm going to have to meet his family. Me, someone who lived along the poverty/lower middle class line all her life meeting people who share a neighborhood with Kanye fucking West.

From mi amor, my Logan.

Leaving him is the hardest thing I have to do. We could, and do, spend all day and night together, and it's never enough time. I always want more, more time with him.

How do you spend an unexpected day off? Call up the boy and plan a fun day date. We were all set to go to the Santa Monica Pier, but it's supposed to start raining by the afternoon, so that wouldn't work. So, instead, after lots of thinking, as we could only really come up with outdoor activities, we decided just to see another movie. So, we're going to go see The King's Man. Should be fun, regardless. I'm just excited to spend the day with him. He lives about an hour away, but it feels like a long distance relationship. We have to resort to texting, calling, and video chat the days we aren't together. And, it's hard. Because he's so close, but so far away.

He comes from money. I had a vague idea that was the case when he grew up in an expensive beachside neighborhood, talked about stocks and trust funds, and told me he went to Pepperdine University (which has the reputation of being a school for super rich kids) for his psychology degrees. But, it's not something I pay much attention to when dating a person. Their net worth means nothing when compared to their worth as a person. But we were talking last night during one of our 4+ hour phone conversations and he was telling me about his family. It's a little complicated and they're not exactly close, but he was telling me about some of his his step siblings. Two of them are in the NBA. That caught me off guard when he just casually mentioned it. I know nothing about basketball or NBA players, so I had no idea who these people were, but I Googled them after. It's a set of twins, and they seem like really chill people. He's full of surprises. We were sharing music last night, made each other a Spotify playlist, and it's crazy how similar our tastes were. There were at least five bands on each of our playlist that the other already knew and loved. It scares me how truly similar we are, how much we have in common. And it's not just us playing a part for each other. One of us will casually mention something we love, and more often than not, the other likes said thing as well. We gushed over Razed in Black because he's like the only other person I've met who knows the artist, let alone actually likes his music. It's terrifying to feel this way, but also insanely exciting. I've not had a connection like this since Joe, and when compared to that, it's way more healthy and way more intense. I suppose him being a psychologist is helpful in a lot of ways, but more so in cultivating a healthy relationship. He understands what you should and should not accept. He keeps telling me that there are no red flags when it comes to me, and I can't believe that. But, he tells me he's happy, that I make him happy, so that's all I could possibly want. If things keep being this good, he could very well be my forever. It already feels like we were made for each other.

Well, I can say 2021 has ended on a high note for me. I've met someone and it's scary how similar we are, how we value the same things, hold the same ideals, just fit perfectly in every way. Well, last night, we made it official and I don't think I could possibly be happier. He's the most amazing, understanding, accepting person I've ever known. And I just... I am so thankful he was put into my life.

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BloodRoseTristesseX
10:27 Dec 28 2021

I'm legitly happy for you.

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Things are really beginning to look up. I'm happy, legitimately happy.

So much for any plans I had for this weekend, I woke up feeling like death. Well, all I can say is that at least I'm sick now and not next week. If I miss Christmas two years in a row, especially this year when we can spend time together, I'm going to be so upset. Well, I took some Nyquil, so I suppose it's back to bed with me.

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IveXtastedxthexrainbow
18:46 Dec 19 2021

Feel better. I thought I had a bad head cold this last week until Friday when I woke up with no sense of smell. So here I am covid positive right before Christmas. I guess my saving grace is I'm supposed to be out of quarantine on Christmas eve.

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I think this is my new favorite song. It's so much better than Toss A Coin To Your Witcher.

I cannot tell you how great it is to have my car back in perfect working order again. I was without it the entire weekend, finally getting it back late yesterday afternoon. But man, you don't know how much you miss having a working heater until you go a week and a half without one when the weather finally decides to start acting like it's early winter. Fog and rain and cold temperatures down in the 40s and 50s in the early morning when I leave for work. But, I have it back and there haven't been any issues yet. So, I'm really hoping that that was the end of the issues with my car.

I have some stuff planned for the weekend, gonna go see Spider-Man maybe Friday night or Saturday with a friend, and then I also have a first date planned for some point this weekend. We've been talking on the phone a lot, he's the one who said I had depth. So, it's been fun getting to know him. I'm looking forward to meeting in person. Hopefully we can make it work sometime this weekend, the only downside is that he lives in Anaheim, which is around 45 minutes from where I'm at. We've been trying to figure out a place to meet. There's nothing really out here except Victoria Gardens and Ontario Mills. All the fun stuff is in Riverside, or out towards him. We may just say fuck it and go hang out at the beach or something, weather permitting, since he grew up in the Newport Beach area, it's what he knows. He was a total SoCal surfer dude. It'll be interesting since I grew up a little Inland in the suburbs of LA, I never got the surfer culture, but I'm sure whatever we decide will be fun.

The best compliment I've ever received on a dating site? Not anything regarding my looks, I hear that bullshit far too often and it makes me uncomfortable. But no, it was tonight when someone read my favorite quote and told me that there's a depth to me that they appriciate. Someone who sees who you are as a person instead of just what you look like, is someone worth getting to know. Because they value what's real, not just a pretty face, but who you are, your mind.

Apparently Anne Rice passed away earlier this evening. It makes me sad, as she was one of my favorite authors. I really couldn't tell you how many times I've read through her Vampire Chronicles, I'm almost certain I can still recite "Interview" word for word. It's where I even got my user name, a name I've been using for over twenty years now. She was such a talented writer, her books still captivate me as much as they did the first time I read them. The literary world lost a great one.

And that is exactly why I don't put myself out there anymore.

I'm doing better than I have been in the last few months, but it doesn't necessarily mean things in my life are better. But, I think they may be getting there. Everything happens one step at a time. I just need to keep moving forward.