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The world is spinning, blurring, melting...and all the while I am just a watcher of it. Things to come, and things that have been, nothing really holds the key to why each of us go on living. And yet I feel compeling urge to be happy, to stay happy for the first ttime in forever it seems.



Its happening....its really happening.



Whats happening you probably think? Am I right? Well...life is allowing the distance to end if only it is for a short time. I can be happy with it holding the memories so close to my heart though out the days to come.



Two months away feels only like weeks for the first time since I was younger, thinking this way...I am most excited. Not thinking clear.



And yet I want to shout out to the world...if only...Alas its with excitement now, not anger. And the world feels like a better place. If only for a short time let tme feel the love that others do, only to take it away for a time again. Such is life...but a good life could be made of this just the same.



Creativitty is flowing through me again after years of feeling the death of such beauty and call of creations. My forgotten past rewriting itself. And with that said I finally realize this is more then I ever imagined.



All those years ago that passed were full of misery, beauty and despair were seen as one. However with him beside me I write of love again, of feelings and beauty appart from sadness and burden, as once I did before when he was there.



He is my muse.