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2 entries this month

 

7

07:26 Jan 26 2025
Times Read: 77


Waiting for the countdown, for the sand to stop flowing, for me to hit the brick wall full speed that awaits me at the end of this tunnel. My splattered viscera will be the mark of our souls reuniting for the final time. I am not the only one, but my goal is to be your best one. When you sleep at night am I the one who creeps in your subconscious first? Third? Surely after everything I can’t be anything but the one and only; what a delusion I love to tell myself. Do I dance through your mind, are you taunted by the ghost of me as I am by you? Unlikely. Not your first, and sickeningly, not your last. Were they as desperate as I am? Did they beg to be swallowed whole, as I did? The discomfort transformed into addiction. No drug, no soul, no close-cutting scenario could ever deliver the replication I seek desperately; time is my greatest enemy, the older I grow, the less valuable I become.


COMMENTS

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Cadrewolf2
Cadrewolf2
07:32 Jan 26 2025

Value is what we deem further value is on friends





Sundig
Sundig
23:38 Jan 27 2025

You are such a beautiful and incredible writer with a fire and passion in you that is truly one of a kind





starbeary
starbeary
00:06 Jan 28 2025

Thank you. :)





 

Watching from a Distance

21:27 Jan 11 2025
Times Read: 168


When you get your hands on me again, what are you going to do? I always wonder. This whole time I’ve sat in my pathetic pity, stuck in this delusion that just maybe: you think of me as much as I think of you. Do you really think of me at all? Certainly you remember me, you still know me. But do I still hold space in your mind? How much? A symptom of this head-case is the assumption that I have not been forgotten. The rerun in your thought, an obsession, the replay. It will be so funny to somehow find that you in fact, do not think of me at all. My pathetic sniveling little insatiable urge to be desired, I’m obsessed with the idea of your obsession with me. If it is not there I am dead, because you rebirthed me. The power you hold over me still; astonishing. If I were to find that you do not think of me at all then I am dead. I think of you always, I need you to think of me too. As if we are halves that will soon meet in the middle once more. Are you going to find me? Are you even looking? When you do, surely I will feel fear. I will feel fear and I will think back to all the times I spent in yearning for such a moment, and perhaps regret. It will not matter, fate leads the willing and drags the unwilling. I have always been of the willing. Your little willing victim, your obsessive little girl. Virgin and sweet, starry-eyed pet. I have such a strong feeling that I will not live a full life, I always have this background picture that inches close to me with time. This picture is painted with my blood and your blade. Surely you seek my revenge. Surely you wish to make me pay. Surely you still know such a grave and foundational part of me is eternally bound to you. My soul. You and I are intertwined despite every restraint against us. I wonder if you plan to meet once there are no ties to hold you back. I will not seek you. I will never search and insert myself for you. Yet I truly believe that fate will bring you to me once more and for all.


COMMENTS

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Sundig
Sundig
07:26 Jan 12 2025

This is absolutely beautiful and so well worded, you are truly so incredible








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