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ElaSaeurDesAnges's Journal


ElaSaeurDesAnges's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

10:05 Nov 15 2024
Times Read: 40


their lower voice though..






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12:25 Nov 09 2024
Times Read: 82


yep


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07:16 Nov 07 2024
Times Read: 137



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13:26 Nov 05 2024
Times Read: 180


Today i went to a psycho therapist.
but theres really no fixing this
:)



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Impulsive rambling

12:39 Nov 03 2024
Times Read: 255


I still dream of her.
each dream same thing
One minute she is in my arms
the other she is gone and i cant find her.

this is my life now.

I still dream of you.
each dream same thing.
One minute youre there
The other youre leaving me behind.

this is my life now.

You were all mine
but the world turned around.
I used to believe we were made for eachother
but lately ive come to see.
that most likely.
You're both better without me.

So i drown my ever floating sorrow in the thoughts
you will both be happy.
that it is all for the best.

that im incapable of love



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RabidHyena
RabidHyena
20:19 Nov 03 2024

Not incapable of love, but I suspect that you might be incapable of trusting in, and believing in the love you are given.
And, I understand, just so it is not left unsaid.
You have a terrible past, one that does not exactly inspire trust in humans.

It's hard, wanting everything that is good for you, and ending up with... This...

I'm not undermining you in any way or form might I add.

It's just... Not what it should be...

So many nights have i howled at the empty night sky.

As I said once before.

It is a terrible feeling, to be haunted by the living...

I miss her too...
I miss you too...

Not that I miss where we ended up, of course not.

But I of course miss the good times, the hopes and dreams.

I'm not quite sure that "we're better off without you". Of course I can only speak for myself.

Again, I miss you. The connection we shared. Speaking without words is a strong thing.

Going through what you sadly have, is even more so.

I thought of you on Samhain.

I think of you often.

Trying to focus on good energy.
Some kind of trying to help I guess.

Please know that I >do< think fondly of you, when I think back.

As I've said so many times, you didn't deserve this, and I'm sorry...

I'm here if you need me.

A R.





ElaSaeurDesAnges
ElaSaeurDesAnges
21:45 Nov 03 2024

I am indeed incapable.
Ive been aware of my lack of trust in people for decades.
I am also aware why and where it comes from.
My inability to (cure) it is where I become incable.

Among so many other things.

But thank you for the "support"
I appreciate it.





 

11:57 Nov 02 2024
Times Read: 289


Look what i found, another one. woof.



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