The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

ok so i found out that my sister is pregnant again. so freakin lucky. like people don't understand why i think like that. people tell me i'm young and that eventually i'll get what i really want someday. or that i dont understand how difficult kids can be.



little do they know that i do know how hard it is to raise children. when my sister had her first two they were practically mine until i left for college from the time i was 13 i was working full time and going to school to support them. my sister had a tendency to dissappear for months at a time. so i had them all the time. i fed them clothed them bathed them and took them to the doctor when they were sick. then i went to college and missed them terribly. well then my other sister needed help with her first son and i being the 'baby guru' of the family i dropped everything and cared for jayden until she kicked me out. and it was so hard to leave. she didnt understand why it was so hard for me. but i mean my sisters are mommies forever i only got to be with those kids for what seems like a moment.





and i'll admit it im jealous my sister in ny has 3 kids lready and now shes onto number four four kids four fathers. she doesnt even like her kids. i think they are awesome why is it people tend to get what other people want and dont necessarily deserve it......

If someone gives you a ride every freaking morning to work suddenly doesn't one day making you so late... would you be pissed????? I mean, I appreciate what Derek does for me but today he just didn't show to take me to work. Didn't even tell me he wasn't coming today. So I waited as long as I could before I had to call in late so I dont get pointed for being late. But of course if I say anything to him he'll say I'm an ungrateful bitch. But jesus why couldn't he call me and say I can't take you to work so you'll have to walk. On days I have to walk I have to get up a half hour earlier so I was definately not ready for that. So I called in late so I dont have to be in until 11. But Im kinda pissed about the whole thing. Grrrrr........

Ive been searching for something. I'm not really sure what it is. I don't even know if I'll ever find it. It's really hard to find something when you don't know what it is or even if you've lost it. Yet it feels like I'm searching. I can't stay in one place for very long before I am unhappy. I talk to hundred of people a day, I research off the wall topics and read any book I can. Yet the search continues. I feel as though there is something in my life I'm missing. It keeps me awake at night. It haunts me. I wish I could find it and then perhaps rest will follow. I mean, I do everything I'm supposed to. I work a steady job, I'm honest and try to be a good person. But I never find that content feeling that people talk about. And I feel so tired. I feel tired all the time to be honest. I feel like I've been spread too thin. I don;t know >.