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birra's Journal


birra's Journal

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32 entries this month
 

Sushi and road trips...

01:09 Oct 31 2007
Times Read: 1,181


...say what you will, I've been an influence...


It makes me happy to see you posted our video.. I really need to trim some of these other's down to a watchable, and more importantly, uploadable size...


Maybe I'll work on that tomorrow night...


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Like it takes football...

03:56 Oct 30 2007
Times Read: 1,189


...for us to have really far-out conversations?


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Melini Cucina...

03:09 Oct 29 2007
Times Read: 1,198


...that was a nice night.


Ah.. we were both so shy... and still are.


Silly kids....


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You are the best ying...

02:13 Oct 29 2007
Times Read: 1,204


...to my yang.


Or.. am I the yang to your ying?


Or, am I the duck sauce to your lo mein?


Soy sauce explosion!


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Dons a cool hat...

03:34 Oct 28 2007
Times Read: 1,216


...I liked your little hometown cafe... I think we can sit out there...


You rock!


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You know it...

03:12 Oct 28 2007
Times Read: 1,218


...I'm Mr. Dark & Evil himself!


Heh.


Thanks for showing me that - odds are I wouldn't have even noticed! And it gave me a laugh which I needed today...


...but then again, you always make me laugh, which is a wonderful part of who you are.


How could I not adore you?


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I'm glad you think so...

23:16 Oct 27 2007
Times Read: 1,222


...they're good because of the photographer...


Thank you!


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Mmmhmmm...

03:26 Oct 22 2007
Times Read: 1,239


...dinner sounds good. You pick the place, and I'll buy.


See you for dinner... night-night, my sweetest friend.


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Poke?

03:11 Oct 22 2007
Times Read: 1,242


ACK!


No poking!


Ok, well, maybe just a little poking....


I'm feeling pretty tired too... with a 6AM flight tomorrow... I think my bed time is... now.


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Hey.. question for you....

01:02 Oct 22 2007
Times Read: 1,248


...I've been wondering...


Does KC just keep going back & forth between my journal and your journal?


Voyer.... heh.


Just kidding!


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They are so similar...

23:11 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,251


...almost as if we... PLANNED IT!


*gasp!*


Young Frankenstein! YES! We're getting popcorn and milk so milk can shoot out our noses while we watch it!


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I hope it didn't remind you of poo....

22:51 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,256


...honestly, I can do better. I'm not being hard on myself, but I could have made it... really, really, really good... not just.. good.


One of these days I'll show you....


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Ok, pie it is...

21:09 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,259


...and I'll keep that in mind about the carrot cake.


I can do better on the pumpkin pie though.. I felt a bit.. pressured and a little unfamiliar in your kitchen...


Give me another chance!!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!!


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Awwww... you're so sweet.

20:36 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,261


...*blushes*


Pie? what kind of pie would you like?


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Yippy Skippy!

20:11 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,263


I'm looking forward to it!!!!


MUUUWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Can't wait.. you know, we'll have to do some pictures that we can share here... so.. I'll bring my surgical mask!


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Spin a yarn....

19:00 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,266


....put yarn in your hair! Stop being so lazy with all the graphics and house news stuff and photography and painting and studying and traveling and...


When you get to it....


...and no vomiting for the sake of art. No stomach pumping for the sake of art. No endoscopies for the sake of art...


...we'll just... make table art!


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YES! Squirrel Porn!

18:16 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,268


Even better than the monkey porn conversation.


Maybe we can take pictures of our meals, before and after... well, the plate after, not the food that we ate...


...that would be gross and possibly very painful.


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FEH and more FEH...

18:05 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,270


..yeah, I know. I was looking forward to that too.


These things happen I guess. We won't worry too much about those things this week. We'll just do some fun pictures!


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As always...

17:50 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 1,272


...it was a learning experience. I've taken huge suitcases too.. I've learned, it's not needed. Just have to pack more... creatively.


But I really can't bring my tripod.. it's way too big.


I guess we could go to Wal-Mart, buy one, and then return it on Friday... :p


Have to get creative on the road.


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Breathless…

17:34 Oct 19 2007
Times Read: 1,284


I woke up this morning; another restless night, more concerned with staying on schedule and making a morning flight than sleeping. We talked on the phone for an hour last night and after saying good-night to you I went to bed feeling a little down on myself. You were trying to tell me about something important to you and I stopped you. I cut you off and I didn’t listen. I wasn’t a good friend.


I’m sorry.


I realized it after I did that and upset with myself I apologized to you on the phone, and asked you to continue, but you didn’t. You said it was ok, but to me it didn’t feel ok. You deserve better than that and you deserve me to be the best friend I can be at all times. And last night, I wasn’t that friend.


I felt as if I had hurt you. I never want to feel that way.


But as I packed to leave for the airport this morning I picked up my phone and noticed a text message was waiting, unread. It was from you. My immediate thought was that you sent me a message regarding what I was feeling bad about, but you didn’t. It was a sweet message – a text wake-up call to make sure I got up for my flight on time, and wishing me a safe journey.


I was breathless!


I sat and contemplated the meaning of it for a few minutes. Time was of the essence to make my flight, but I had to just sit and think about you. The power and depth of the kindness in your heart and how we have grown closer in the past months. I knew in that moment that you weren’t upset about how I was last night, and when I was able to breathe again, I breathed deep and let out a long, low sigh.


A sigh of relief. A sigh of happiness.


A thoughtful sigh, looking forward to the next time I get to spend time with you.


The next time, you will again, leave me breathless.


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Pearls of wisdom...

02:35 Oct 19 2007
Times Read: 1,293


Morrigon: marriage is like being stuck in a dark room with someone and you can't really get out but you know you're somehow supposed to work together but you can't see anything anyway because you both for some reason agreed to get stuck in the dark box... only without the sex.


--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Awesome analogy! Right up there with the "taped together bunch of symbolic vaginas" description of a wedding bouquet.


You are wise, oh angry one!


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Want to wax the Volvo?

14:21 Oct 18 2007
Times Read: 1,304


You're more attractive than any of them... seriously.


Wax on.. wax off.


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Crotch raisins…

00:43 Oct 18 2007
Times Read: 1,308


That always reminds me of you.


As I sit on my flight to Louisville and munch on some trail mix, a raisin falls into my lap.


Crotch raisin!


Heh. Trail mix reminds me of you now, too. I have loved the times when we get to fly together and share some trail mix. Our shoulders rub, our hands touch, we can lean our heads on each other and sigh in quiet contentment. Perhaps our trip is just beginning… or perhaps we’re dreading saying good-bye again… either way, the miles fly by. Time speeds away from us. Even just sitting on an airplane, our time together is always too brief.


I’m eagerly anticipating the next trip we get to take… very, very soon.


Thank you for everything this week. This week would have been dreadful without having you wanting to make it special. Even hundreds or thousands of miles away, you touch me. You change me. You can make a day that has gone all wrong feel all right.


You are a wonderful friend. I appreciate you and everything you do.


From the bottom of my heart, thank you!


Not sure exactly why it’s more meaningful from the bottom of my heart… the top is where all the important arteries and veins attach. You would think thanking someone from the top of your heart would be just as significant.


Well, regardless, I wanted you to know just how much your friendship, love and caring means to me.


And... the crotch raisins. I appreciate those too!


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All the same can be said back to you...

04:00 Oct 15 2007
Times Read: 1,316


...you're wonderful. Your smile ignites my heart, your laughter warms me throughout - and your spirit is as contageous as your laughter.


We can watch Airplane as many times as you want! Just so long as we can be together while watching it....


But we do have to watch Young Frankenstein together first, ok?


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Psycho bitch...

07:36 Oct 14 2007
Times Read: 1,324


...Roger, Roger!


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I have been seriously lacking...

04:08 Oct 14 2007
Times Read: 1,326


...interesting and thought provoking things to write about.


Why?


Is it writer’s block?


Have I started missing the world that surrounds me?


Am I just not as observant as I used to be?


Is my ability to remember the details of my life fading as my frustration in life mounts?


I can't say for sure…


You would think I could have written about the large man with horrendous body odor, wearing the blue (and I mean, BLUE) suit and black cowboy hat that I had to sit next to on my flight this week. Every time the man moved it was new experience in olfactory discomfort for me.


But even that didn’t bother me much; because I knew when I got to my destination… you were waiting.


Perhaps I could have shared a recent dialogue I had with a colleague that made me wonder how some people get to keep their jobs…or get hired in the first place… but I was having said conversation while driving to the airport after leaving you. My mind was elsewhere. The conversation at that moment was entirely meaningless.


I could write about the fun time we had looking for a pie crust at 10:00PM, or the wonderful conversation we had over dinner the night before… or earlier that night… or over lunch that day… or in the car… our conversations, the way you express things… enchants me. I feel drawn closer to you by what you say and the stories you share.


The time we get to spend together is often fleeting. A few days here, a few days there… often paced around my busy life and rarely in a place of familiarity for either of us. But the pressure to make every minute count, to be able to spend every extra second with you… makes it special and meaningful – perhaps in a way we would be lacking if it wasn’t this way.


Being able to spend a couple days with you, relaxing… not working… baking a pie, spending time with your family… means more to me than you could ever know.


Thank you for that opportunity. Thank you for everything you’ve given me.


No one else here might know how absolutely amazing you truly are. Thank you for opening that side of you up to me and letting me experience it!


In your own words… “I hope the fun sarcastic times never end! *adores*”


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It is amazing...

01:49 Oct 13 2007
Times Read: 1,334


...really amazing.. how every time we get together... it's more and more fun.

THANK YOU!


Enjoy the pie!


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Not exactly...

21:44 Oct 06 2007
Times Read: 1,344


...I understand that 12AM, too much coffee thing... but.. really, the drive was lacking you.


You sitting next to me, cracking jokes. Telling me about monkey porn. Asking random questions. Being silly for the video camera....


...resting your head on my shoulder and just, enjoying time together...


That is exactly what it was lacking.


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Because I know you'll appreciate this...

04:01 Oct 06 2007
Times Read: 1,348



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Morri knows...

14:39 Oct 04 2007
Times Read: 1,353


...I am durh.


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22:27 Oct 02 2007
Times Read: 1,360


...life is full of disappointment.


...it can also be full of wonder and excitement.


A lot of that is entirely in your control. Do you want to take risks, put yourself out there a little and have the chance to acheive what you want?


Or would you rather sit back, do nothing and then say, "Ah, well, I figured as much..."?


Sure, the risk might end in hurt. But taking it could also lead to great happiness.


I can guarantee, the hurt you feel right now won't end if you just sit back and do nothing, you can believe me on that.


...but... the choice is yours to make... I can't make you want to be happy.


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I always try to understand...

18:55 Oct 01 2007
Times Read: 1,372


...and you know that. Hopefully you've witnessed it and recognize it.


I understand the feeling of not wanting to live. Sometimes life gets to be too much. The pain we feel in our hearts weighs us down like stones set upon our chest. Every breath shortens, the blood rushes to our head....


...and during these times is when we need someone to listen to us.. to hear us.


I will hear you.


If there is any one thing I want you to believe in, believe in that. I will hear you any time you need someone. And I want to be that someone.


You know what my expectations are. I feel like I ask a lot. I know I ask a lot. I try not to and I really feel like I haven't asked much of anyone in life.


Definitely not as much as I ask of you. I know that. I feel bad for asking it.


You shouldn't feel guilty or sorry for feeling how you do. But I've been there too and I know how hard it is to overcome that. Especially if you're alone.


I don't want you to be alone.


You don't have to regret the things you say. You say them because you're feeling that emotion... there is nothing wrong with that. I can accept what you say and deal with it.


I don't want you to be depressed, but I know the situation and emotions will drive that... it happens to me too.


I want you to be confident. You should be confident. I'm not the only person in your life that believes in you. You're intelligent and talented and creative... and I will keep reminding you of those things until you accept it as true.


I want you to be happy. I can understand... all too well... that happiness is not easy to acheive in life. But my face doesn't fall when I see you're not happy...


..I just want to make you happy.


And most of all... I just want you to feel free to be... you.


No reservations, no fear of judgement... just, be the wonderful you that I have grown to know and love.


I keep saying I wish I could make everything easier... less complicated...


...well, I will. It will take time, but I will.


Count on it.


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