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ugh, not feeling it!

sitting here talking to my goddaughter and leveling a little
what fun this is (not) lol

this darkness within my head won't leave me alone
it keeps covering me like a dark blanket can't seem
to get rid of it.

my aunt has a show on right now which stops me from sleeping
cant stand not being able to sleep when I need it the most
been trying to hit 100 which I find really hard to do( ugh)
the weather will be in the 80s tomorrow yay.

I don't know why I feel like I want to blow up on people
I feel like I'm going to be stabbed in the back again by people
well, I guess it's just how it is.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow
which makes me really nervous cause I hate going to the doctors you never know what they will say to you( ugh) I wonder what their going to say to me tomorrow why do I have so many appointments throughout the months.

as I sit here listening to the quietness of the house
things go through my mind like the wind blowing never-ending
the darkness covers me like a blanket
why do I feel this way
why won't it stop
never feeling normal again
i want to feel like my old self
why oh why.

written by
MistressofChains

I just got home from grocery shopping
now I'm sitting here posting and working on the stream
cause I will hit 100 no matter what.

(people around this town im in are so nice)

I have been doing some thinking well sitting here drinking some coffee and doing some posting trying to hit level 100 which I find to be really hard to do but I'm doing it slowly but surely I will get there might not be today but it will happen.

at only 2:14 pm the weather is in the 70s right now but at night it goes down in the 60s I'm still not use to it even though we have been in Alabama close to a year now yeah I do miss Michigan to a point but I don't miss the snow at all.