A lot of you have asked me to put up my stories so here you go!! The spelling and grammar are probably horrible but still understandable20:30 Apr 09 2007
Times Read: 637
The novel I have been working on
Prologue
When I was little Daddy would take me for walks in the woods. One day I saw a
baby bird fall from its nest. It broke my heart to see the poor defenseless bird lying on
the ground all alone and confused.
“Daddy, doesn’t her mommy love her anymore?” I asked through tears.
“Sweetie, her mommy does love her but she has to learn to survive on her own when her mommy isn’t there anymore. That’s why she pushed her out of the nest.” I looked into my Daddy’s handsome face. Fascinated by what he had said. My eyes shifted around the wilderness, pondering what he had said.
“Daddy? Will I ever be like that bird?” He laughed, and put his arm around me.
“Dominique, I promise if you ever fall out of the nest before your ready I will come and save you.” He took me by the hand, and led me back to out home at the edge of the woods.
We lived in the back hills of Pennsylvania, where Mommy grew up. That little house which once seemed so big to me. I remember the tan and stone siding, and the colorful flowers that sat seductively against it. The warmth I felt when I stepped into the plush living room. My most deeply held memory is Daddy’s over stuffed chair where he would read to me. My bedroom was up stairs across the hall from Daddy and Mommy’s. The walls were light pink, and across from my canopy bed there was a big window with a bench Daddy built for me covered in stuffed animals and dolls. My room was filled with toys that Daddy would bring home for me every week after work. The rest of the house seems like a distant memory now.
One night, at the start of the summer Mommy and Daddy went out together. I wanted to go and Daddy wanted me to go also but Mommy said Dine and Dance wasn’t a place for little girls. Daddy promised me he would bring me home ice cream if I was a good little girl for Aunt Jill and Uncle Boris.
Daddy came to my room that night while Mommy was getting ready. His long black hair was slicked back and his bright blue eyes lit up his entire face. He had a long broad nose with thin lips perfect for his long face. We wore black slacks and a white dress shirt. He always seemed enormous compared to me. He was my entire world.
He knelt down next to me on the floor where I was looking at the picture book about music that he gave me, and from behind his back he handed me a doll.
“Daddy, it looks just like me!” I cried. The doll has fair porcelain skin and long, straight, golden hair. She had a little pug nose and light pink lips. Her eyes were chocolate brown and she had long blond eye lashes.
“Her name is Sally.” Daddy said as he sat down next to me and put his arm around me, and kissed me on the head, “and she can be your new friend.” Just as he said that Mommy came to my door.
She had a tight, provocative dress with a low neck line. Even though the dress was tasteless she did look very pretty, her red pumps made her legs look even longer and shapelier. She had the same color hair that I do and it was fanned out over her shoulders. She wore thick eyeliner and caked rough all over her cheeks. She had painted bright red on her plump lips. She looked at Daddy with her sharp gray eyes.
“I swear Christian the last thing that girl needs is another doll, are you ready?” Daddy looked down in defeat his eyes glazed over with a darkness I could never understand as a child. He looked over to me and smiled.
“Yes, I’m ready Kitty.” Daddy picked me and Sally up and put us into the car. On the way to Aunt Jill and Uncle Boris’s house I played with Sally and Daddy and Mommy were arguing quietly about the way Mommy was dressed. Daddy looked back every once in a while to smile at me.
We pulled into the long driveway that led to Aunt Jill and Uncle Boris’s house. They lived in a big house in the country, far out of the way of town. There was really no way out of their little world. The house was two stories high and painted a rustic gray blue. Coming up from the small porch were worn French lace awnings, supporting the balcony above, which also adorn the decoration. In the back was a barn. Uncle Boris still had a few farm animals, but they didn’t come to much use. He made most of his money in town; selling electronics. Uncle Boris and Aunt Jill’s home always scared me especially the attic. No one ever went up there. There were boxes, chests, old furniture, and tons of old pictures. It was like a personal graveyard for the Meierss’.
Daddy brought me us to the big wooden door and knocked, for some reason Mommy never came up to the house unless she had to. Jack was the one who came to the door to let us in.
“Dominique, I got a new truck for us to play with!” He said with such excitement that I couldn’t wait to see it. I didn’t like to play with all the trucks and cars that he had but he always made it fun. He looked in my arms and saw my doll.
“Who’s that?” He asked, plucking her out of my arms very delicately; like she was a real person.
“That’s Sally.” I said looking up admirably into my Daddy’s face and smiling. Then Aunt Jill came up and led me and Daddy into the entry way. The oak wood floor was cold under my sneakers, and the single lamp sent shadows over the walls, making them all seem very dismal. Aunt Jill and Daddy talked for a minute while Jack and I were walking to his bed room.
“Hey!” Daddy yelled after me, “where my kiss.” I smiled and ran into his arms and he picked me up and held me close to him and gave me a big kiss.
“I love you very much my little Dominique.” I held him close to me and kissed him again.
“I love you too Daddy.” He put me down and waved as he walked down to the car. Jack and I ran out of the entry way into the larger part of the house and ran up the grand stair case to his room. I sat down on the floor while he ran over to his shelf and pulled down a red fire engine.
Jack was only 6 years old, one year older than me. He had bleached blond hair and a long pointed nose like his dad. He was already very tall for his age. Aside from my Daddy’s he had the most brilliant blue eyes. At his age his legs were too long and his feet to big for his body and his lips seemed too big for his face. When he smiled I would always giggle, because not only were his lips too big for his head so were his ears.
We pretended that Sally was trapped in a building and that the fire engine had to come and save her. Jack very bravely climbed into the burning building to rescue Sally from the clutches of the burning fire. When Sally got out safely Jack put out the fire and we laughed for absolutely now reason.
“Dominique?” He asked, his eyes were very clear and his lips straightened. I looked at him quizzically wondered what kind of question would bring such a serious look to his face.
“Would you ever let me save you?” It was a very mature question for a six year old. I just laughed and said, “You will have to beat Daddy to it.” We both laughed again and Aunt Jill called us down for diner. After we ate we went out side and caught fire flies and put them in a jar for later that night. When we came inside we were both very tiered. Aunt Jill had a worried expression on her face and Uncle Boris looked annoyed with something.
“Alright, let’s get you two washed up.” I didn’t understand, I would get washed up when I went home with Mommy and Daddy. I just nodded and looked at Jack. Who took my by the hand and led me up to his bathroom. We had been very close all out lives and often took baths together. I went over to their house whenever Mommy and Daddy went out of town. Which happened a lot; I even had my own bedroom there.
Jack turned on the faucet and asked me if the temperature of the water was all right. I nodded, still very confused as to where Daddy was. Jack saw my distress and went into his room and got a bright yellow rubber duck and threw it in the water, then went to the cupboard and pulled out bubble bath. He saw I still wasn’t satisfied so he ran back to his room and got Sally.
“She missed you.” He said handing her to me and I held her close to my heart. I looked at the clock. I couldn’t tell time but I knew Mommy and Daddy were late and something was wrong. I ignored my dark feelings and undressed myself. I crawled into the tub and Jack followed. He washed his hair then he washed mine for me while I played with the duck and talked to Sally who was sitting on the sink. When both of us were clean Jack got out of the tub and dried off. Then he got me out and handed me a towel and helped me dry off. He ran back to his room and got on his pajamas and then into my room and got the one pair I had there. I got dressed and we went down stairs. Aunt Jill was sitting on the couch with tears streaming down her face.
CHAPTER 1
I was going to ask where my parents were and if I was spending the night, but I was very concerned when I saw her crying.
“Aunt Jill what’s wrong?” She lifted me up into her lap and held me close.
“Oh Dominique,” She sobbed “honey, your parents are dead.” I was only five years old but I understood what dead meant, Daddy had to explain it to me when my fish died, and I understood and I didn’t like it. I felt my body freeze and all I could say is, “I want my Daddy” and Aunt Jill held me tighter. Jack was standing in front of us looking very worried. Aunt Jill put me back on the floor and told us we should go to bed and that I could sleep in Jack’s room tonight. Jack took my hand and I grabbed Sally and we walked up the stairs back to his room.
I lay next to him in bed crying and he held my hand.
“It will be ok Dominique, you have me and I promise I will save you when you need me to.” I threw my arms around his neck and buried my small face into his shoulders and I fell asleep.
The funeral was two days after the accident. Aunt Jill brought me back home to get my things. She told me since Mommy and Daddy were gone I had to come live with them. Jack came with me and told me that I could play with his fire truck when ever I wanted.
I didn’t like going home without Daddy being there. All the lights were off and it seemed very cold even though it was an unusually warm day for summer in Pennsylvania. Our house wasn’t as big as Aunt Jill and Uncle Boris’s but I liked it. It was egg shell white with light blue shutters. We had a big yard and a swing on the tree out front where Daddy would always push me. Inside Mommy decorated in bright colors. My room had light purple carpet and walls Mommy feather dusted in purple and pink. Now, those walls might as well have been black. The whole house seemed to be in mourning.
Aunt Jill, Jack, and I went up to my bed room. I sat on the bed while Aunt Jill went through my closet and draws packing up my cloths. Jack was running around my room getting all my favorite toys and putting them in my little suit case. I didn’t want to accept reality so I held Sally close to me and looked down the hall towards Mommy and Daddy’s room. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks but I didn’t care, this was all too much. Aunt Jill saw and quickly stopped what she was doing and came to comfort me.
“Shhhh, honey it is going to be okay. You’re Daddy wouldn’t want you to cry.” I latched to her for life; she was the only mother I had now. She rocked me back and forth trying to make my tears stop. I pulled myself together and ground the tears out of my eyes. Jack ran down stairs and come up with a picture of me and my Daddy at Disney World and handed it to me without saying anything. I sat Sally down next to me and stared at the picture and smiled. I knew as long as I could see Daddy I would be happy.
The funeral was shortly after their death. I got up out of my bed and went to the window overlooking the fields or corn and in the distance I saw the barn with a few animals straying outside the safety of their pens. The sky was dark; the rain seemed to weigh down my world, choking me. I felt the tears well up behind my eyes; I heard a nock on the door and swallowed my grief. I turned and Aunt Jill was standing there holding up my black dress.
“Do you need any help getting ready?” I shook my head slowly and took the dress and she softly closed the door. I put one the black dress and walked into my bathroom to brush my hair. I left it down like Daddy liked, and put on my shoes. I sat down on my bed and looked at the picture of me and Daddy. I seemed to have been sitting there for hours. Jack came in and asked if I was ready.
I stood up mechanically and followed him out to the car. We all sat in silence to the church, I gazed out the window watching the rain fall, with every shattering drop I felt myself die inside. I was too young to feel like this, to young to feel the loss of my innocence.
The service was held at Uncle Boris’s church. I sat between Aunt Jill and Jack not really hearing anything that was going on around me. I felt empty inside. Mommy and Daddy’s friend and some family offered their condolences but all I could do was look confused and smile. I understood death but I didn’t understand why this was happening to me. I didn’t understand why fate had unmercifully taken away my Daddy. The preacher spoke about Mommy and Daddy in an immortalizing way. Like they would live on forever and ever, but that was a lie. Daddy was gone, so was Mommy. I was so confused and lost. Everything was spinning out of control in front of my eyes. I grabbed onto Jacks hand and didn’t let go until we were at the graveyard.
The rain had left a muggy feeling in the air and gave me the some choking sensation. I stood up front and watched my Daddy’s coffin descend into the ground. Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks and soon I was sobbing openly. Uncle Boris put his hand on my shoulder. I thought he was being comforting, then I felt is hand squeeze tightly and his hot breath on my ear.
“You nock that shit out or I’ll beat you from here to next Sunday. You will not make a mockery of me or this family.” I instantly silenced my sobs. My eyes grew wide and he finally let go of my shoulder. I looked over to Jack who looked very fearful himself. I knew my life would never be the same.
CHAPTER 2
The summer dragged on painfully. Jack did everything he could to make me feel better, but nothing seemed to work. Everyday seemed so empty without my Daddy. The long hot summer days were unbearable. Aunt Jill tried to make the best of things but was usually busy with her own life. Uncle Boris was always working on that farm and complaining about the economy. Jack and I were all each other had.
In August before school started Aunt Jill to Jack and I shopping for new school cloths and supplies. I was going into second grade and Jack was going into the third. A wave of melancholy still covered me everywhere I went, I couldn’t enjoy things a normal little girl did. Everywhere I went I brought Sally and became Jacks shadow.
The night before school started a bad storm hit Pennsylvania. The lightning cracked over the field and the thunder shook the whole house. It was three in the morning when it started bad. I woke up terrified and ran into Jacks room.
“Jack, Jack!” I shook him with tears streaming down my face. He looked at me sleepily.
“What is it Dominique?” He asked still half asleep.
“Jack, I’m scared.” He threw back his covers indicating that I sleep in his bed. I crawled under the covers with him and he rolled over to go back to sleep. I got comfortable and started to doze off into sleep when Jack broke the silence and said,
“I told you I would save you.” I moved closer to him and he put his arms around me and we drifted to sleep.
Aunt Jill woke us up the next morning. She was startled to find me sleeping in Jacks bed and asked why. I told her how the storm scared me. She sighed and told us to get dressed and come down for breakfast.
I went back to my room to put on my new jeans and tee shirt. I couldn’t help but wonder why she was so startled by me being in Jacks bed. At breakfast Jack told me about how much fun second grade was and how great the teacher, Mrs. Marylin was. All the excitement brought a long awaited smile to my gloomy face. Jack and I hurried upstairs to finish getting ready.
I went into my room to do my hair. I wanted to put it in braided pig tails like Daddy used to do for me. I say down in front of my little vanity and started to brush my hair. I looked at my hair and started to cry.
“Dominique, what’s wrong?” Jack was standing in the door way with is backpack slung over one shoulder. I looked at him through tears.
“I don’t know how to braid. “ I said quietly through my sobs. Jack just smiled and came over to me taking the brush.
“Mom taught me how to braid.” He smiled and my tears disappeared.
“Can you do pig tails?” I asked.
“Sure.” He parted my hair and brushed it into three separate pieces and wove to long braids and tied ribbons around them to match my tee shirt. After he was finished and picked up my backpack and we went down stairs to have Aunt Jill drive us to school. When we pulled up I was scared, this is the first time I had been to school without Daddy driving me. Jack saw the fear in my face and like always he took my hand and told me not to be scared.
We walked into the big brick building. The hallways smelled like cleaning supplied and everything was heavily waxed. Jack still had his hand in mine when we went into Mrs. Marylin’s class.
“Jack, what are you doing back here?” She asked Jack.
“Mrs. Marylin this is Dominique, she is my cousin.” He replied with a proud look on his face. Then he gave me a hug and told me goodbye and rushed off to his own class room.
Mrs. Marylin was an elderly woman in her late fifties. She had short curly white hair and a plump face with rosy red cheeks. She was very petite and reminded me of pictures of Mrs. Clause. She had a very gentle air about her and was very compassionate towards me. She knew about my parents dieing and because of that gave me extra attention.
I liked being in the second grade. I had never gone to Arrow Elementary before so I didn’t have any friends. At lunch Jack sat next to me and showed me the math work he had already done and the sticker he had gotten. He pushed me on the swings at recess too. I liked being around him at school, I felt less lonely.
CHAPTER 3
THE PIANO
Later that day we all lined up to go to music. The music teachers name was Mrs. Rhodes. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She had wavy blond hair that went mid way down her back, and sparkling blue eyes, just like Daddy’s. Her face was long and slender like the rest of her body. Her nose was also narrow and she had thin lips that always seemed to smile.
She introduced herself to my class and told us about herself and asked us if anyone sang or played an instrument. Some girls raised their hands and said that they sang. Mrs. Rhodes asked if they would like to sing in front of the class and they all said no. She looked disappointed. Then she told us she was going to teach us a little piano.
The first person she picked was a girl named Mary, who stood up arrogantly and walked over to the piano. Mrs. Rhodes pulled out a piece of paper behind her back, it was music.
“Read off this.” When Mary heard this command she said she didn’t know how. A few more students went up to try and read the notes written on the paper but they all failed. She called on me. I stood up and looked at the music. I understood what was written, Daddy had taught me a long time ago how to read music notes.
I stood up and walked timidly over to the piano and sat down. I looked at the music and saw it was a B flat scale. I looked up at Mrs. Rhodes who seemed pleased.
“Mrs. Rhodes, I don’t know how to play B flat on the piano.” Her eyes lit up and a smile curled on her lips.
“Honey what is on the paper?” I looked at her puzzled and I told her what it was. She sat down next to me and showed me where all the notes were. Once she was done I mimicked what she did exactly.
“Good now try it again.” I memorized all the notes and played it again. She clapped her hands and then asked me to play each individual note but went out of order. She stared at me in amazement.
“Beautiful!” She cried. From that point on I was her example. She explained to the class the B flat scale and had me play the notes. Music was my new favorite class and Mrs. Rhodes was my best friend.
When the day ended Jack came to get me after class. He gave me a hug and told me he wanted to teach me how to play piano. I asked what he was talking about. He went on to explain how Mrs. Rhodes bragged about me in all her classes and said she had never seen someone with no knowledge of playing the piano pick it up that quickly. When Aunt Jill picked us up she even commented on it. Mrs. Rhodes had called to see if I had ever touched a piano before and that she strongly suggested lessons.
That started my work as a pianist. Uncle Boris tuned the piano in the sitting room and I had lessons everyday with Mrs. Rhodes and then she referred me to her old college professor, Mr. Parks. My playing improved greatly over the next six years. My social life didn’t though. Even though Mrs. Rhodes me to the piano, that day in the second grade she made me an outcast. The other kids didn’t like me and called me a teachers pet. Jack and I were still close all through elemtery.
I had just turned 11 and Jack was 12 now. We were very close, just as we had been as children. Both of us were in Jr. High and he would still get me after the school day ended. One day though Aunt Jill didn’t pick us up. We waited outside in the parking lot, Mrs. Rhodes pulled up in her black escort.
“Dominique, Jack, why are you still here.” She asked her face full of concern.
“My mom hasn’t come to pick us up, I don’t understand it. She is never late.” Jack replied still looking worried.
“I can drive you home if you would like.” Jack looked at her hesitantly.
“Jack I’m cold and tiered, I just want to go home.” I had been tiered. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, I kept having nightmares about Daddy reaching out for my hand and I could never reach him.
Jack gave in and opened the door for me. I settled myself in the back seat and felt myself dozing off. The sound of Jack’s voice directing Mrs. Rhodes to our house kept me half way conscious.
“You alright Dominique?” She glanced back at me.
“Yeah, I’m ok. Just tiered.” I replied.
“The Christmas concert is coming up; I have a solo picked out for you.” This brightened my world. We had been talking about my accompanying the choir but my getting a solo was never brought up. Mrs. Rhodes went on to explain the piece she was going to give me and I was very excited out it.
When we pulled up into the driveway we thanked Mrs. Rhodes for the ride. Aunt Jill’s car was in the drive way so we knew she was how. Jack rushed into the house and I followed quickly behind him. We saw Aunt Jill in the kitchen talking to Uncle Boris. She looked at us.
“Oh my God I forgot to pick you up!” She rushed over to us and held us close to her.
“You didn’t have to walk all the way home did you?” She asked frantically, I told her how Mrs. Rhodes gave us a ride.
“Both of you sit down at the table.” Uncle Boris commanded sternly. Both Jack and I afraid of his wrath sat down quickly. Aunt Jill just stood next to him smiling.
“Jill is pregnant. You two need to have more responsibility, especially you Dominique.” He didn’t sound happy that his wife was pregnant. Weren’t father supposed to beam with pride? Why did Uncle Boris look so angry? What bothered me more is that he singled me out. I felt the blood drain from my face and my body go pale. He was staring at me so intently, his eyes disturbed me. He finally shifted his gaze to Jack.
Jack was just staring at him, looking totally awe struck. Suddenly he jerked up out of his seat, slammed it back under the table and started out the door.
“BOY!” Uncle Boris yelled after him, but he didn’t stop. Uncle Boris leapt up out of his chair nearly knocking over Aunt Jill and grabbing Jack by the shirt, spinning him around and hitting him. He fell back and hit the ground with a hard thud.
Uncle Boris was a large man, with dark hair and beard. His eyes were deep dark brown and very threatening. He was always strict with us but he had never lashed out and hit Jack or me. Boris always got his way and was very intimidating, he ruled over his manor with an iron fist.
Jack laid a crumpled heap on the floor and I rushed to his side, we embraced each other for out lives. We stared up at Uncle Boris trembling, barely breathing.
“Get your asses up stairs now!” We jumped to our feet and ran up to Jacks room. He seemed in shock at his fathers out bursts, he went straight to his bed and laid down with his back to me. I saw his body trembling violently. I went to sit next to him and I saw the tears streaming down his face. I pulled his trembling body into my arms and held him until his crying passes.
“Dominique, mom won’t love me now, especially not now.” He said out of now where.
“Jack, what are you talking about? Of course Aunt Jill will love you.” Jacks eyes grew dark.
“Jill isn’t my real mother.” Jack went on to explain how when he was the Uncle Boris told him that he was married to a woman before he met my Aunt Jill, and she became pregnant, her name was Ann. She died after giving birth to him. At the time Uncle Boris was having an affair with Aunt Jill and she knew the situation and took Jack as her own.
I was shocked to learn this. Jack wasn’t my cousin. We had no relation, now we were closer than ever.
Chapter 3
Aunt Jill was very tiered and exhausted throughout her pregnancy. All the house hold chores became my responsibility and Boris inspected how well I had done everyday. If I didn’t do something right he would make me clean the whole house over. It was the same with dinner. Jack always ate everything I made but Uncle Boris would order me to make or remake dinner if he didn’t like it. I never realized how much work Aunt Jill had to do.
Christmas was coming very quickly and I would stay after school working with Mrs. Rhodes working on my solo. She had picked out Moonlight Sonata, by Beethoven. She said it was advanced for my level but with enough practice I could pull it off. We worked countless hours trying to get it down perfect, and learning my music to accompany the choir.
It was the night before the production and I had everything down perfectly. Mrs. Rhodes was very pleased with all of my progress.
“Dominique, how do you feel when you play the piano?” She asked me.
“I feel like I am free; like I’m with my father again. I step out of my body and I am wherever I want to be. I get so lost in my music its like I’m not even here….” I felt so much more than that when I played, I couldn’t put it all into words. I felt as if my passion reflected in my music, I could sit at home and play for hours and hours losing all track of time.
Mrs. Rhodes smiled. “Dominique, when I was a little bit older than you I went to Chicago to study music at the Charles musical institute. I think you have very promising talent. You should consider going there.”
My eyes lit up with hope. It was the first time I had felt hope since Daddy died. I wanted to go there, not even knowing anything about it. I wanted out of that house and away from Boris. I hated him and Aunt Jill had become so distant from all of us it was like she wasn’t even there. Not even Jack would hold me back from this; in fact I would take him with me. We had to escape Uncle Boris.
Boris was the one to pick me up that night; he didn’t say anything when I got in the car. He had a very strange look on his face, he looked almost happy to see me. When he pulled out of the schools drive way he turned left instead or right. I looked around wondering if he was taking a different way home but he made no indication of going in that directing.
“Uncle Boris, where are we going?” He looked at me with a sickening grin and kept on driving through the night, it was getting late. He pulled down an old dirt road and I saw where we were going. A neon sign read Sam’s Tavern illuminated the outside of the bar. I sat in the car shivering in fear. Why would he bring me here? He got out of the car and I sat stationary, hoping he would leave me in the car.
“Get out’a the car girl.” I reluctantly stepped out of the car and followed him up the steps. When he opened the door smoke and music flooded out. The place had hard wood floors and the walls were covered in mystery stains and had pictures of different bears and alcohol. There were speakers lining the walls blasting music and a dart board in the back. To the left of the long polished bar were pool tables with large men playing pool with scandalously dressed women whispering what I am sure were sexual comments into their ear.
Boris sat at a chair at the far end of the bar, and demanded I sit next to him. He ordered a Jack and Coke and told the bar tender to give me a Coke. Some of the men came away from their pool games to talk to him. One man that had red hair and sharp green eyes came up to us. He smelled like sweat and whisky, I almost gagged when he sat next to me.
“Hey there sweet heart, you sure are pretty.” He put his arm around me and held me close to him. My body clenched and I looked at Uncle Boris wondering why he was letting this happen. He just looked at me and smiled sickeningly.
“Hey Rick, how many times do I bring women here for you.” His voice made me feel protected. Right after Rick walked away that feeling of protecting disintegrated. I felt his hand creeping up my leg, the whole room started to spin; fear was over flowing inside of me. My body felt colder as his hand slinked farther up my skirt. I let out a small cry when his hand went into my panties, he brought his lips down hard on mine and slipped his tong in my mouth, I felt like I was going to be sick I squirmed and tried to get away from him.
“Boris you knock that shit out or I am calling the police; don’t ever bring her in here with you again.” The bartender whispered to him, and gave me a reassuring glance as Boris moved away from me. Hot tears were streaming down my face.
When I got home I scrubbed my skin raw in the shower. I felt dirty like I had done something wrong. I wrapped a towel around my body and sat down on my bed. Not a minute passed until Boris barged into my room. He was more intimidating, his eyes were burning red, he was like a demon unleashed from hell. He strode quickly towards me and slapped me heard across the face, so that I fell backward. The towel slipped off of me, revealing my naked body. His eyes were hungry as he scanned over my body. He raised his hand to strike me again. I must have screamed because Jack came running in. Boris just looked at him, his eyes blazing, and to my surprise left. I lay in a crumpled heap on my bed sobbing. Jack put the towel back over me and held me as I cried in his arms.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes the sun light seeped through the curtain of my room. Last night’s incident was smothered by my excitement of not only Christmas break but my piano solo. I got dressed and ran into Jacks room; I saw him standing by the mirror in his closet in only a pair of jeans. His body was firm and masculine. The muscles rippled on his back and his arms like a sea wave and to hit the shore angrily. I looked at Jack so intently a felt my face flush and a smile creep over my lips. I could only stand there.
“Everything alright?” His met mine and I looked away. I had seen Jack with out a shirt for years but not like this.
“I’m fine. Ready to go?” I stammered. He nodded and put on a shirt.
The school was buzzing with the same excitement I felt. The whole day all I could think of was my solo, and Jack. It was as if last night hadn’t ever happened. Every time I passed Jack in the hall way or in the lunch room my stomach churned. I talked with some of my friends but my eyes were focused on him. I wondered why I felt this way. He had been my bestfriend since I was a little girl, but now it was different.
After school I stayed with Mrs. Rhodes to practice and do a run-through of tonight’s show. My fingers danced across the keys and the music consumed me. I thought of Jack and my emotions poured out of me, and turned into musical notes. I was closing my eyes and playing with so much emotion it scared me. When I finished my piece Mrs. Rhodes was ecstatic with my playing.
“Dominique, I think that was the best you ever played.” I blushed, and thanked her.
I got dressed at school and went back stage to meet with Mrs. Rhodes. She looked beautiful. The black dress clung to her bosom and flared out at her hips slightly. In the light it glittered like the stars on a clear note. Her eyes and hair were in rhythm with each other; waving and twinkling in their hypnotic dance.
“Ready?” She asked me, I nodded confidently.
Right before heading to the stage Jack came running up to me backstage.
“Dominique! Wait!” He strode towards me and again my heart fluttered.
“Here,” He presented a red rose in front of me and smiled. “It’s for good luck, not that you need it.” I noticed his face redden just as mine was. I took the rose and held it under my nose.
“Thanks.” I said in a small voice, my face beet red, and my body trembling. Our gazes met we melted into one another. Our faces, inching towards each other. Our lips met and we held in a long passionate kiss. As soon as it started we pulled away like we were on fire.
“Good luck.” He whispered, and held my hand in his for a moment. I stood dazed for a moment.
“Are you waiting for a formal introduction? Sure you’re good but come on Dominique.” Mrs. Rhodes said from behind me, laughing. I followed went to my piano bench as she started to introduce the choir, band, me. I felt the hot lights shining down on my face, awakening the butterflies in my stomach to fly around rapidly. I looked into the audience seeing an ocean of faces of students and families. Panic started to seize me, then I found Jacks face, and calm washed over my body. Mrs. Rhodes started the choir and my playing. Like earlier that day, the music poured out of my finger tips.
At the very end of the show I played my piece the best I had ever done. When I was done Mrs. Rhodes formally thanked me for all my extra work for this production. I was standing back stage listening to people compliment me on my playing. I saw Jack running up to me. I knew something was wrong. He was pale, gasping for air.
“Dominique, we’ve got to go.” He said frantic and seized my hand. We ran out of the school building and in the parking lot a car sat running. Jack opened my door and then got in himself. My head was spinning, I had no idea what was happening and I was too afraid to ask. I looked in the driver’s seat and that’s where Grandmother Dian sat.
Grandmother Dian was a very conservative and religious woman. She had her thin silvery hair pulled back in a tight bun, stretching her gaunt cheeks unnaturally. She had piercing stone gray eyes. She was thin but stood at a towing height.
Her long dangling fingers griped the steering wheel as we speed down the interstate in silence. I sat in the back seat next to Jack who still looked in a state of terror. I reached over and grasped his hand. He held mine tightly back. I looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes, they were watered over and tears rolled down his cheek. I realized we were going to the hospital and something was terribly wrong.
Chapter 4
We sat in the waiting room of the sterile hospital. The smell made me sick. All these people around us had the same worrisome expression. Grandmother Dian sat a crossed form us, glaring with those stone cold eyes.
It seemed like we had been sitting there for hours when Boris finally emerged through the swing doors, looking stressed, and his eyes blood shot. Grandmother Dian stood abruptly and went to console Boris. They both talked in a low whisper, keeping Jack and I in suspense. He came over and stood forebodingly in front of us.
“Jill is dead.” The words hit me like a hurricane, my heart sank to the bottom of my chest and I felt my body tingle. I knew she had a difficult pregnancy but who would have thought she would die? It was beyond me.
Jack fell to pieces right there. There was no way of stifling his sobs, as his head lay in his hands. That’s when Boris’s face turned red. I saw him raise his hand to Jack. I couldn’t let this happen again; I couldn’t just sit here and see Jack be beaten again. As Boris’s hand went to swing I moved in the way and my defiance left me a pilled heap on the ground. Everyone in the room stared; I looked around at all the mournful faces and stood up. I looked Boris in the eyes, which were fiery now. I took Jacks hand and led him through the doors and down the doomed corridors of the hospital out into the parking lot.
We sat there in the darkness, crying openly not only for the loose of our mother but for what we knew was to come.
Grandmother Dian came out of the hospital with Boris. It was close to midnight. Neither of them said anything. Jack and I stood up to follow them close behind. Jack and I got back into Grandmother Dian’s car. The night was dead, just like everything else in my life and now in Jack’s. The expression on his face was heart wrenching. He was so blank, so lost. Finally the car pulled into the driveway. Jack got out automatically and went into the house.
“Grandmother Dian? What happened to the baby?” I asked, no longer affected by the domineering attitude she upheld. I waited for an answer. Grandmother Dian just got out of the car and went into the house. I got out of the car but didn’t go inside. I sat in the grass, staring at the night.
Jill and I were never close. I always considered her a meek woman. She was so weak and helpless, but after being married to Boris I understood how something like that could happen. Even though there was a vast distance between Jill and I she was still the only mother I had ever known. She was always so sweet and caring. I wept silently. I was afraid of what it would be like with her absence. The thought of Boris now having total control scared the hell out of me.
I took a long hot shower; it felt so good on my skin which seemed so dirty. The hot water beating against my naked body and soaking my hair made all the nights chaos seem to wash away. I was so lost in the trance of running water I didn’t hear the door open.
When I emerged from the shower I saw Jack sitting on the floor next to the door, in what seemed a state of catatonia. I quickly covered my body with a towel and rushed to hold him. His limp body clung to my embrace. I felt his tears running down my naked breast, and his body’s shudder of sobs against mine. I lifted his chin to meet my face and cover him with kisses.
“Its OK, I’m still here and I always will be. I promise, I will never leave you.” I comforted him. I stood up and took his hand, leading him into my bedroom where I lay him gently down on my bed as I went to dress. Wearing a tight tank top and pajama bottoms I lay down next to him, caressing him, holding him, letting the night slip away in our embrace until we fell into a deep sleep.
I woke up gently only a few hours later. Jack was sitting next to me, staring at my body, heavy with sleep. My eyes focused on his as he lower a think blanket over me and moved his body under it close next to me. Our faces were inches apart and I could feel the warmth of his body on mine. He moved loose stands of hair from my face and moved his lips towards mine. Our lips locked in a long passionate kiss.
All the pain and sorrow disappeared and we dove into pure ecstasy. So many years of hidden passion and now we were in each others arms exchanging this act of passion. Our lips parted.
“I promise, it will all be ok.” He assured and again we drifted to sleep in each others arms.
Again I awoke from a heavy sleep. Jack was so where to be found and the covers where he had been asleep we disturbed. I threw the covers off my body and walk down stairs. The house was dark even though the sun shone brilliantly through the towering windows and snow was dazzling out side. A curse had set itself deep into the foundation.
CHAPTER 5
Another funeral came in my young life. Again it was raining, as it always seems to do when someone is put into the ground. This time I wore a long black skirt and a nice black tee-shirt. My hair was pulled half way up and I wore very minimal makeup.
Jake walked into my room wearing his best black suit, I could see that tears had been in his eyes. I reached out to embrace him and he willingly ran into my arms. I showered his face with soft kisses and like last night things began to escalate and before we knew it we were on the bed kissing very passionately. His hand slipped up my shirt and I felt his big strong hands groping at my breasts.
“God, you are becoming the most beautiful woman I have ever known.” He said kneading my swollen breasts with his fingers. I moan in delight, not only because of this unexpected passion but the knowledge that I was becoming a woman. I held him close to me, and I felt my body wash over with warmth.
“Jake! Dominique!” The grandmother beckoned and we quickly jumped off one another and straightened our cloths and with an all knowing glance descended down the stairs.
She was standing there in a sinister way, like always. She seemed to know what we had been doing together and it sent cold chills through my body, I actually shivered. Boris stood next to her, totally blank from any emotions, he worse a suit similar to Jack’s.
“Are you just going to stand there an gawk or get into the limo.” Grandmother scowled at me. I quickly caught up to Jack and sat next to him. The ride to the church was very awkward. All I could think about was kissing Jack and his hand up my shirt, and at the same time I wanted to bawl for the loss of my aunt. There was a storm of emotions inside my head and I couldn’t help but weep.
“ENOUGH!” Grandmother yelled slapping me across the face.
“Don’t be so weak child. I swear you’re just like Christian, a damn sensitive artist.” I cowered and drew my knees near my chest, now I defiantly wanted to bawl. How dare that monstrous woman speak of my father. The rest of the way to the church I tried to blank my mind as everyone else seemed to have done so well. I couldn’t though, all I could think of was my daddy now, I remembered his funeral and seeing his body in the coffin. How I couldn’t believe he was gone.
The limo pulled up to the obscenely elaborate church. It was too big and to gaudy for a funeral. I didn’t speak my opinions though. I obediently followed into the church and sat down in the front pew with my sad excuse for a family. The service went on but I wasn’t there, I was back in my room with Jack, selfish as it is I realized how I barely knew Jill. I only remember how weak and mousy she was, and it disgusted me.
I made a vow to myself right there in that church and under god that I would never become a slave to a man, or anyone else for that matter. That I would live to be only myself, and my only ruler would be my piano.
The service ended, I was lost in another world the whole time. At the graveyard we were in the family plot, I was staring at Daddy’s grave the whole time and paid little attention to what was being said about Jill. I shed tears only for my Daddy.
The ride home was silent, and the house was full of family, most I didn’t even know. I wondered into the back room where the piano was and began to play, this was my only solace. I was lost in my music, floating somewhere far in the distance, untouched by all the sadness.
“Dominique!” I felt the same sharp pain swelling in my face as I had earlier that day. In look up and saw Grandmothers eyes glaring at me. I wanted to shrink away into nothing.
“How dare you play music at a time like this! Your aunt is dead!” She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me up to my bedroom.
“Get changed and come down stairs this instant.” She lamed the door and I stood dumb founded in the middle of my room, almost in tears. I changed into a modest black dress and went down the stairs to find a large gathering of mourners. I walked into the kitchen to find Jack standing next to the table gripping the edges, trying to hold his composure. I took him by the arm and we went out the back door hand in hand.
We ran through the fields, the huge mansion began to shrink behind us but we kept going until we reached the woods. There, next to an enormous oak tree we collapsed together in each others arms. No tears came, there were no tears left. We lay on the cold hard ground and stared at the stars, not saying anything. I reached for his hand. It seemed that hours had passed.
“This is going to be hell.” I said coldly. Jack sat up.
“What do you mean?”
“I saw what grandmother Dian said to you. Father won’t even look at me. I feel like everything is about to fall apart. I miss mom.” Tears welled in his eyes and he began to bawl like a child.
I held him close to my breasts, smoothing his hair, trying to pluck out the pain. His cries were heard by no one but me.
Hours passed and we walked back to the house, there was nothing left in Jack, he had no tears and what seemed no emotion left. We walked through the front door, people were still spread randomly around the ground floor, Jack and I were able to slip upstairs unnoticed. We sauntered into his room. I realized that I hadn’t been in his room since I was very young. I looked around, still the same blue color, but like the rest of the house it seemed darker. No more toys were scattered innocently around the room. All childish delight was gone. It was silent except for the buzzing of the computer.
Jack was catatonic. I lead him to this bathroom where I turned the faucet and filled the tub with hot water. I tenderly stripped his cloths. I was shocked when I removed his underwear. His body, like mine, had changer significantly. I felt that same wave of warmth was over me as before. I looked up at him and our eyes met, he embraced me and I felt his hard male organ harden against me. I blushed and began to panic. I looked at him again then rushed out of the room.
I locked the bathroom door and splashed cold water, this cant be happening.
The time of mourning passed, things didn’t return to normalcy. I began to take the roll of the house keeper. Grandmother Dian only stood over the house like an angry dictator scowling at my every move. Jack became very distant, even to me. Christmas came and went, then I was back at school.
Jack and I walked through the halls together, ignoring the unwanted condolences. They were only a reminder of the sorrow that had fallen over us. I drove myself into work making the best grades I could. Jack was so lost in the lose of his mother that he couldn’t focus on school.
My music excelled beyond expectation. Late at night when everyone was asleep I would stay up and poor the days frustration and sorrow over the ivory keys. My music was my life.
Jack had detention, like he frequently did anymore. I walked home from school and noticed the Grandmother Dian’s car wasn’t in the drive way. Only Boris car stood, half covered in the snow. I went into the kitchen and lay my books over the table. I began dinner and while things were cooking I would study or do any homework I had.
I put of pot of boiling water on the stove for pasta. All meals had become my responsibility. I heard a loud bang and Uncle Boris came stubbing into the kitchen. His eyes were blood shot and his suit was disheveled. I smelled whiskey on his breath.
“You sure have grown up Dominique.” He said approaching me awkwardly. He pinned me against the stove.
“Sure have gotten pretty.” He was stroking my hair. I turned my face away from him, I couldn’t bear the stench of his breath. I was terrified. His hand began to grope my breasts.
“Get off me Boris.” I tried to push him away but his girth was no match for my strength. Tears welled up in my eyes, I was helpless.
His hand reached up my skirt. I thrashed to get away. I reached for the pot of boiling water and it spilled over both of us.
“Argh!” Boris bellowed and backed away. I fell to the floor and drew my knees up close to me and began to cry. At that moment Jack came running in.
“What the hell?” He yelled. Boris threw a punch across Jack’s face and ran out of the room. His nose was bleeding.
“Dominique.” He whispered and moved to my side. I latched onto him and began to cry uncontrollably.
“What happened?” He asked. I broke my embrace from him, to embarrassed to tell him, what happened. I got up and put the pot back on the stove and attended to his bloody nose. I began to finish the pasta I had started.
“Dominique, your lying to me. What did he try to do.” I glared at him.
“Jack I said I was fine, get off my ass!” I turned away from him and he walked out of the kitchen.
I screamed. I didn’t know what to do. How could I lash out at the one person I love? I was brought back to the night at the bar. The only person here to save me now was gone.
Later that night I was in my room studying and Jack came in.
“I know what happened I shouldn’t have pushed you.” I didn’t respond.
“I was afraid he would do something like this. I am sorry I pushed you.”
“I’m fine.” I said and went back to my work. He sat down on my vanity chair and didn’t say anything.
After that night Boris frequently took his frustration out on Jack. The beatings became regular and often I would find him in his room weeping silently. Grandmother Dian did nothing to stop the beatings, she just sat on her thrown as ruler of this house.
There had been more encounters with Boris but I had managed to get myself out of them and he would back off of me. I actually became accustomed to them. It happened once a week or more. This house had truly become a hell.
I was down stairs playing the piano one night. The moon light was shining so brightly I didn’t even need a lap.
“God, you look beautiful.” Startled I turned around a saw Jack.
“Its late what are you doing up.” I asked, softening my voice a little.
“I heard you playing.” I looked more intently at Jack. He has a black eye. I jumped off the bench. I touched his cheek.
“Boris?” I asked knowingly. He nodded. I kissed his cheek and held him in my arms, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair.
“I swear you look almost like an angel sitting there.” He whispered.
Our lips met again and I felt the same hot intensity I did when ever he touched me. I felt his hand slip under my top. We kissed again, massaging each others tongs. He lay me down on the floor. His body between my legs, I felt his penis growing hard between my legs. We didn’t stop kissing. He slipped off my panties.
“Do you…you know?” He asked quivering. I nodded and pulling my face up to his and kissing him passionately. He held by body close to him and slipped himself inside me. I winced in pain and he showered me in kissed.
“Its ok It ok, the pain will stop soon.” I trusted him as he pumped in and out of me. The pain subsided and I was filled with pure ecstasy. I moaned in please, and his hands explored my body, touching each crevice. The intensity increased and he pumped harder. My body was tightening. I felt spasms of relief from the perpetual building all over my body. He too was feeling the same spasms of relief. I felt a hot liquid pouring inside my body while Jack moaned my name. He pulled himself out of my. We went upstairs to his room, and fell asleep together in each others arms.
Morning came and Jack was no where to be found. I put my feet on the cold wood floor. There was no way to escape the iciness.
I found Jack sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup off coffee. His face was buried in his hands and the sun shone on his blond hair giving it a halo effect. Then he lifted his face and I saw the dark circles around his eye.
“We need to get the fuck out of here.” He said in a deep voice full of desperation. I could see it in his eyes that he couldn’t take this house anymore, and he saw by the dark circles under my eyes I couldn’t either.
“Jesus Christ what the hell happened now?” I didn’t bother to listen to what happened.
Why were we always ripped away from our happiness? It was always Uncle Boris and Grandmother Dian. They wanted us gone, dead. Every time we tasted the smallest bit of happiness we were sucked back into this hell. Soon the hole would be too deep for us to climb out of.
That day at school Mrs. Rhodes told us about our spring concert, I was to play accompaniment and I had two solos. Again the pain from that morning had melted away and I was happy again; going over music at the piano. When I played I thought of last night, holding so tightly to the passion Jack and I had for each other. The pure beauty and majesty of it all.
All I could think about in my other classes was my piano and Jack. Something about both of them brought me happiness. I knew that Jack was who gave me the fervor at the piano. Without him only sorrow would come from sitting at the piano. With Jack around though, my fingers danced gleefully across the keys, emitting the sounds of un-perverted happiness.
When I came home that night Grandmother Dian was home, but no where to be found. Dinner was needed until seven. I sat down at the piano and, like I normally do when I am alone I pulled out my fathers picture. I would frequently talk to him when I played, asking his opinions.
I had just finished an up beat piece and asked him what he thought of it. As always he told me he loved it and I play as beautiful as I am. A perfect piece for a girl like me.
“Dominique, I swear you are just like Christian.” Shocked that someone had heard me talking to my dead father I whipped around and saw the same cold stare coming from Grandmother Dian’s eyes. I couldn’t speak. Her eyes had left me dumb.
“Stupid child. He isn’t even your real father.” She said, in what I thought was spite.
“Take that back you fucking hag.” I stood up and stared her back in her cold heartless eyes, she was a damn liar.
“Don’t you think it’s a little strange you don’t even look like him? How your mother was a whore? How you look so much like Boris.”
This wasn’t true, no way in hell could this be true.
“Boris is your real father Dominique, stupid child.” Hot tears stung my cheeks despite how hard I had tried to hold them back. Everything she said was true. I couldn’t let her win though.
“Well, grandma, guess I am more your flesh and blood then I thought.” I strode out of the room with false confidence and my back to her so she couldn’t see the tears streaming down my face.
When I reached the stairs I started to run up to my room where I fell on my bed and began sobbing.
How could this happen? Did Daddy know I wasn’t his daughter? Even if I wasn’t his biological daughter he would still be my Daddy. But who was I? This all meant that Jack was my brother…I had sex with my brother.
Tears were streaming down my face and my whole body was shaking. Everything I had ever known was a lie. That’s when I hear Boris walk though the front door.
I had forgotten to make dinner, he would be furious. The terror put a stop to my overflowing tears. I sat listening, frozen. I heard the booming footsteps coming up the stairs. It was to late and there was nothing I could do now. The door violently swung open.
Boris stood menacingly in the door way. He wore an all black suit that made him seem even bigger than normal. His hair was smoothed back and his beard was neatly trimmed. His eyes though, they were red and bloodshot, glaring back at me with hot angry rage. His face was bright red, his cheeks were blown out like a puffer fish. His fists were clenched so hard his knuckles were red.
“WHERE THE HELL IS DINNER!?” He yelled. The sound waves of his over powering voice made me shrink in my chair.
“I…I…I’m sorry.” The sound was barely coming out of my mouth, I must have squeaked those helpless words.
He strode over the where I was sitting and grabbed my by the hair, pulling me off my chair and down the hall way. I cried out in pain and begged him to let me go. They were pointless.
I could barely keep up with his strides, no matter how hard I tried the pain of him tugging on my hair wouldn’t stop. We reached the stairs.
“Boris stop! I’m going to fall!” He didn’t listen. My footing slipped and he didn’t bother to stop. I felt the cold hard marble hit my body and the never ending tug on my hair. I wanted to scream in pain.
Boris stopped, I thought he might apologize. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like a rag doll and continued down the stairs. He threw the kitchen door open and through me down. He strode next the me and I could see the door swinging on it hinges.
“Get up you idiot.” I struggled to my feet and stood there not knowing what to do. He went to the fridge and threw steaks on the table. I hurried to get a pan and a knife. He sat down on at the table. I hurried to get the steaks on. While they were sitting in the pan I started to peel I tried to ignore him and I continued to make dinner. Tears were coming again though, I couldn’t stop him.
“Boris get off her before you make another mouth for us to feed.” I was filled with relief. Grandmother Dian walked in.
“Dominique get up stairs, I will finish dinner.” I ran out of the kitchen and back up to my room. Did what I said to Grandmother Dian make an impact?
I stayed in my room the whole night trying not to think about what had happened. Jack came in.
“I brought you this.” He said presenting a sandwich before me. I only looked away. He put the sandwich down on the dresser and sat down next to me.
“It will stop soon, I’ve got a plan.” I looked at him hopefully.
“We are going to leave soon. I am going to get some money together and we are going to Philadelphia. I’ve already got five hundred.” He said hopefully.
I flung my arms around him. Hope, we had hope now.
Weeks passed, it was spring now. Both of us had close to the amount we needed to leave. We would sneak out late at night and one of his friends would drive us to the bus station. There we would buy tickets and when we were in Philadelphia he would get a job and us the rest of the money for a down payment. I wanted to work also but he was planning on sending me to the art school, M.Grace, once we had enough money.
He had found M.Grace for me. It was the best art school in the state, known for its piano players. It would be hard for someone to get in but not me. Jack kept telling me that I put Beethoven to shame.
Everything was going to work out. The spring concert was in two weeks. We were leaving right after that.
It was a week before the concert. We had all the money we needed and Jack was even looking for a place to work once we got out there. My piano solos were going amazing. School was letting out two days after the concert.
We could smell the freedom. Boris was leaving us alone and Grandmother Dian started to show some compassion for me.
I still didn’t dare tell Jack that he was my real brother. I don’t think it would have made much of a difference though. We had been like brother and sister our whole lives, and we still loved each other, even though we shouldn’t.
Our passion seemed to be at a peak. Every night we were in one another’s room making love, it was always full pf ecstasy.
The night of the show passed and went wonderfully, and we were out of school in the next two days. I had passed with straight A’s while Jack barely passed by the skin of his teeth. All the plans were set and we were starting to pack.
“Tomorrow night Dominique, tomorrow night we are gone.” Jack said. We embraced. I felt his liquid hot kiss on my lips and creeping down my neck and onto my breasts. My body was soaring and I felt the moisture between my thighs waiting for him. His maleness grew hard on my inner thigh, making it hard for me to be still. I wanted him so badly.
His hands caressed every part of my body, touching, exploring. I felt his hardness slide into me. I moaned his name and wrapped my arms around his neck. His kisses were all over me. I spread my legs wider, making it easier for him. Both of us moaning and caught up in the passion and the beauty of our love. I felt him throbbing inside me and myself closing around him. Then the wonderful burst of liquid flowing into me and the relief I felt when he did this. He pulled out of me and put his cloths on.
“Tomorrow at this time, we will be long gone.” He kissed my head and went to him room. I drifted happily to sleep.
The next morning I felt the sun kiss my face as I woke. I was at peace and I couldn’t wait to see Jack. I opened my closet door and looked down the suit case I had packed, grinning from ear to ear, this was it. I put on a pair of dark blue jeans and a fitted black tee-shirt. I let my hair flow freely over my shoulders and applied a little eye liner. Before walking down the stair I lay back on my bed and reflected on the solitude.
That’s when I heard the dreaded sound of sirens and commotion coming through the front door. I ran out of my room and to the stair case. The lay Jacks body in a crumpled head at the bottom, a small pool of blood formed around his head. Jack was dead.
I ran down the stairs. I picked up his limp body and held it in my arms. I screamed and screamed, bawled hysterically. Not today, not ever, what would I do without him? He was my only friend, my lover, my brother, my everything. Now he was gone and I felt the walls closing in on me.
Funerals were becoming more and more common in my life. It was hard that morning to even get out of bed and get ready to put my lover in the ground. I lay in bed for what seemed hours. All of our dreams together shattered. I knew Boris had to of found out that we were leaving. Jack was one of the most graceful men I knew and he would never fall down the stairs. With every thought of my loneliness and my shattered dreams tears began to flow uncontrollably.
Finally I was able to drag my body out of bed and to my closet and put something on. Jack would have wanted me to look pretty for him. I chose my nicest black dress that hugged the curves of my body he adored so much and flared just a little at the skirt. I wore my hair down like he always liked and only a little bit of eye liner that I prayed wouldn’t run down my face.
Catatonically I walked down the long fateful stairs, unable to hold back my tears. Grandmother Dian and Uncle Boris were no where to be found. I wondered into the back room with my piano and remembered all the wonderful nights of passion that we once shared. I sat down on my piano bench, lay my head in my hands and began to cry hysterically again.
My lover, my bestfriend, the only think I had in the fucked up world was gone. My only reason for living was brutally and unmercilessly murdered. The sadness of lose was growing in the pit of my stomach and I felt totally alone, a useless speck on the universe. This was to much, how could I live like this, when everyone I felt close to or loved perished so suddenly and so unjustfuly.
Grandmother Dian walked in.
“Come on Dominique, sitting here will just make it worse.” Her voice was stern and cold as always but she did seem to show some sort of compassion.
I unwillingly followed her out to another black limo and sat this time in a corner and didn’t speak but only wept. I sauntered into the church, Jack didn’t believe in God, this was shit. I sat down in a lonely pew in the back, all alone. I couldn’t go up to look at his body, I didn’t want to see how to mortuary perverted his body.
Poor Jack, he had to spend the night in the cold dark place without me. How could he survive without me? How could I survive without him?
The weeping never secede. Throughout the whole sermon everyone could hear the lone crying, me. I couldn’t hear the sermon. No one knew Jack like I did and no one could justify him like I could.
At the graveyard I stood in the same family plot I had visited so many times. I stood up front this time. The clouds sifted lazily through the gray sky. The small cemetery was high on a hill and the grass was bright green until a plot was reached, the disease of this family seemed to kill everything. Below the hill rows and rows of graves were spread out in a grotesque way, everything was macabre here. This isn’t where Jack should be.
The coffin was closed and I stared teary eyed at the shiny black lid. I thought of screaming out, “NO! He isn’t dead, he is just playing with me!” but I couldn’t. No matter how many times I said he wasn’t, Jack was dead and never coming back. The coffin began to lower beneath the earth and people scattered to their cars. I felt my body collapse to the ground.
Tears were pouring from my eyes. From my mouth wailed cries of mourning. I shouted “No!” I begged then to stop covering him but I was ignored. I pounded the ground, cursed fate, screamed why, and most of all cried. What else could I do? Even after the men putting my Jack in the cold earth finished and walked away I stayed there, still crying.
“Get up girl.” I heard Boris’s gruff voice demand.
“FUCK YOU!” I screamed at him. His hand rose above my face and bore down heard on my cheek. I stayed on the ground crying louder now, who would save me.
Boris lifted me by the waist. I struggled to get back to Jack, he couldn’t stay here alone. I kicked my legs furiously and clawed at the ground digging dirt up. My struggling was pointless and I accepted defeat and fell week in his arms, still crying.
It seemed I had slept for days. I saw the sun rise and set at least three times. Nothing could make the tears stop. Everywhere I looked he was there. All of our memories were imbedded in the walls. I could hear his laughter, feel his kiss, and smell him near me.
When I finally did emerge from my room the house was dark. The shadows on the walls were threatening me. I had no one to protect me now and was vulnerable to the curse that hung so heavily through the house. I had eaten in days.
I was on my way to the kitchen when I hear Grandmother Dian call me into her study.
“Dominique sit down.” Her voice was stern but an under tone of panic was there. I obeyed her and took a seat in the leather chair across from her desk.
“I know what Boris did as well as you do,” she began. “We knew you two were going to run off but didn’t say anything. I also know how what Boris has tried to do to you.” I looked in her eyes, wondering why she was telling me these things.
“Dominique, please listen. I don’t like you and we don’t get along, but that is inevitable. You are talented though, and strong. Stronger than your mother could have ever been and stronger than Christian had been, and much stronger than Boris. You will die here if you stay.”
“Grandmother Dian, I honestly don’t care.” I said monotone. It was serious, everyone I loved was dead. Boris was going to rape me sooner or later and find out I wasn’t a virgin and he would lock me up in the house for good. All I had was my piano and now what point was there to playing if I had no passion?
“Shut up child. I know better than that.” She chastised.
“Where do you expect me to go then?” I gave in, she was probably sending me away to some nunnery.
“I’ve called in a favor.”
“What kind of favor.” I disrupted.
“Shut your mouth and I will tell you. Now when I was working in Philadelphia a young girl wanted to work for me. Her name is Jean. She comes from a very wealthy family but no one would give her a job due to her lack of experience. I gave her the job and now she is one of the best lawyers in the country. She and her husband, Michael can’t have children. Jean isn’t interested in having a baby anyway, but they wouldn’t mind having a teenager.”
I tried to comprehend what was happening. I was being given to a two strangers who want a teenage for a child. This was all too strange; it was all happening to fast. I felt my head spinning and I was afraid I would pass out.
“They are coming to get you tomorrow. I want you to pack your things tonight and be ready by six am. I doubt you will be able to sleep. It is already four am.” She explained.
I was too distraught, I didn’t care. I went up stairs to take a quick shower and packed anything that head meaning to me. I was starting to pack some cloths when Grandmother Dian came in.
“Don’t bother with more than two changes of cloths, they will take you shopping. Be ready in twenty minutes.”
I put my duffle bag with all I needed, took Sally in my arms and went into Jacks room one last time.
It was dark, his sent was everywhere. Tears started to overflow. I look at the bed where we shared so many nights together. The pictures that he had put on the wall were of us. Then my eyes hit the red fire truck we were playing with the night my parents died. He promised he would save me. No one was here now.
“DOMINIQUE!” The grandmother called. I quickly put the little red truck in my shoulder bag and went to get my things.
At the bottom of the stairs I was a man about six foot. His hair was either blond or light brown, what ever the color it was spiked up slightly. He dazzling blue eyes met mine, he looked very excited. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans and combat boots with a loose black dress shirt. He was handsome, and had a very beautiful smile.
I descended the stairs slowly, afraid of what would happen.
“Dominique, this is Michael. Jean couldn’t make it, like I told you she is a very important and busy woman. Michael will be taking you to their home in Louisiana.”
“I thought you said they lived in Philadelphia.” I questioned.
“No I said Jean worked in Philadelphia, they live in Louisiana.” I looked at her questioningly.
“After she met Michael here, the company moved south to Louisiana.” I only nodded
“Ready to go Dominique?” Michael asked in a southern accent.
“I guess” I said.
I walked out of that cursed house and said one last goodbye to my beloved Jack. I was going to be starting a new life now. With two people I hardly knew. I walked out to Michael’s car and got in the passenger seat.
I couldn’t look back at the house as the car bounced down the road, I knew I would cry. Life without Jack would be unbearable.
Michael seemed compassionate; he didn’t say anything for a long time. He seemed to know I was near the brink of tears. About an hour into the long ride home he spoke.
“It’s going to be a long drive and we aren’t going to stop until much later. Do you want something to eat?” His voice was full of compassion and reassurance. I instantly felt comfortable with him. Though he was trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible I didn’t think I could eat.
“I’m not really that hungry.” My voice seemed trapped in my mouth, I couldn’t believe how soft it sounded.
“How about I get you something anyway? In case you change your mind, you look very hungry.” I couldn’t help but smile a little, and finally nodded.
We stopped at a fast food burger place and he ordered a burger and fries for the both of us and got me a chocolate milk shake. The smell off food was overwhelming and I couldn’t believe how hungry I was. As soon of the food hit my hands I was inhaling the burger.
“Wow, slow down your gonna choke.” He said laughing.
“I didn’t realize I was so hungry.”
“You act like you haven’t eaten in days.” His voice compassionate again.
“I really haven’t eaten much since the funeral.” I felt I could open up to him and I was going to live with this man I mind as well talk to him.
“I wasn’t sure if I should mention it. Your grandmother told me you have been going through a hard time lately.” I didn’t respond to him, I wasn’t ready to go into details about it yet. I finished my food and settled back into the seat.
“Thank you.” I said again in a small voice.
“No problem, I’m always hungry, as you can see.” He lay his free hand on his stomach. I laughed.
“There you go, scowls are so common these days and you have a very pretty smile. So tell me about yourself. I only got about three seconds of information from Jean before she ran off to work yesterday.”
“I really don’t know what to say. I play the piano.”
“The piano. I love the sound of the piano, I can’t wait to hear you play.” I felt tears welling up in my eyes again. I was brought back the all the nights Jack and I had spent at the piano in the little far away room. Secluded from the rest of house. It was our own world there, our escape.
He must have seen the hurt in my face because he quickly changed the subject.
“Well as your grandmother told you Jean and I live in Louisiana. Its in a town call Richmond, about twenty minutes from New Orleans, you will love it there I can tell. They have a bunch of neat shops and tons of music.” I looked at him and smiled.
“What is Jean like?” Again my tone was small and almost childish.
“Jean, she is a workaholic. She isn’t home much because of that damn law firm.” I could sense the resentment in his voice, and almost instantly I felt a small amount of resentment for her. I remembered how hard Daddy had worked and how he always managed to spend time with me.
The thought of my Daddy made me smile. No matter what he would always be my Daddy. Boris was only the man that made me, he had no part in who I was and he never will be.
“So,” Michael continued, “it will just be you and me most of the time.” He smiled.
“Jean has never wanted children that much. Like I said, always busy with work. Me, on the other hand has always wanted kids. All girls, all I have are nieces though.” A playful smile slid across his face.
“I was thrilled to have you come to live with us. No much of a little girl but it will be nice to have someone around to listen to my stupid jokes.” I laughed out loud when he said that. I felt myself begin to loosen up.
“You will like it there. We have a big house. You will have your own room. I will take you shopping sometime this week and we can decorate it any way you want. We have a pool in the backyard, and there are a lot of kids in the neighborhood. I don’t think many are your age though. I am rambling though I am sure you have tons of questions.”
“Not really,” I laughed. “Where do you work?”
“A bank, I know lame, I’m a financial advisor. Which is funny because I went to college to be a writer. Never got anything published except for a few poems.”
“What are they about?” I asked, very intrigued that he wrote poetry.
“Huh?” He seemed shocked.
“What are your poems about?”
“Oh, wow, normally people don’t ask, come to think of it Jean hasn’t ever shown an interest.”
He went on to explain the poetry he wrote and all the stories he has started on. He told me about his dreams of being a writer and how he went to college and majored in English. His ideas and fantasies fascinated me. He was the only man that ever really reminded me of Daddy.
Around nine’ o’clock I felt my eye lids growing heavy and I couldn’t help but yawn. The car was quiet except for the hum of the motor.
“You tired Dominique?” He asked with concern. I nodded sleepily.
“We will pull into the next motel we see. There are some blankets and I am sure a pillow in the back if you want to go back and sleep.”
“I’m fine, I’ll stay up here with you until we pull over. Aren’t you tiered?”
“Not really, I have never need that much sleep. Who is that?” He asked pointing to Sally who I was holding close to my chest.
“This is Sally. my Daddy gave her to me the night before he died.” Instead of bursting into tears like I normally would have I said it with a smile. I could remember how he smelled that night and how excited that he had gotten a doll that looks just like me.
“That’s neat, she looks just like you.” He said, returning my smile.
“That’s why my Daddy bought it. He was always doing little things like that for me.”
“Hey there is a hotel.” He said excitedly and pulled off the next exit. The hotel wasn’t far away.
I sat in the car and waited while he check us in. That stars shone brilliantly. They reminded me of Jack’s eyes, like he was up there watching me, looking over me, and forever protecting me. The hotel seemed nine stories high and unlike a shabby motel I expected it looked very nice. Inside the doors the lobby seemed to glitter with gold.
I felt myself drifting to sleep when Michael came back to the car. He opened my door for me and pulled my bag out of the trunk. I followed him groggily through the hotel’s shimmering lobby and up the elevator into a plush hotel room.
The room was done like the lobby, in hues of gold and beige. There were two queen size beds with dark purple and pink floral bedding, like this in most hotels. There were two night stands; one separating the two beds and the other next to the bed on the far side next to the door.
Michael lay down on the bed and turned on the big television sitting on the giant dresser, I wondered into the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror; my face seemed older, darker. The past few days made me look pale and gaunt. My hair looked dead and greasy and I was embarrassed the Michael had seen me like that. I turned on the faucet and stripped off my cloths that seemed to be sticking to my body. I lowered my naked body into the steaming hot water and felt all the sorrow that had befallen me in my life melt off.
“Dominique?” Michael called from the door. I jumped and tried to cover myself afraid he was going to come in, in my moment of panic I managed to let a pathetic, “Yes?” to escape my throat.
“I am going down to that little restaurant in the lobby and get up something to eat. I am putting the bag with your cloths by the door.” I heard him leave and I felt my body sink down into the water again and my eyes folded shut.
I heard the bathroom door open, my eyes were still closed.
“Michael?” I asked. No answer.
There was the foul stench of whisky in the room, that thick suffocating smell. My eyes slowly opened and in the reflection of the water I could see Boris’s grizzly face staring at me with blood red eyes. I looked up in terror, not believing my eyes. The Boris stood, his giant body hovering over me like he had done so many times in Pennsylvania. His hands gripped my neck. He was trying to kill me just like he tried to kill Jack. I started screaming but no sound came out of my mouth. I could hear him yelling my name though.
“Dominique!” It wasn’t Boris’s voice, I looked up and Boris’s face evanescenced into Michael’s. He was shaking me, trying to wake me up. Like a reflex I clung to him and he put a towel around me.
“Boris…” I wanted to explain what happened, explain how Boris had come back to kill me, all I could do was sob though.
Michael took great care not to touch me to much when he wrapped my body in the towel. He brought me over to the bed and began brushing out my hair for me. All I could do was stare and think. Everything was so confusing. Maybe my whole family was cursed? Why would Boris come back for me?
Michael set the brush down next to me, “Feel better?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I muttered still not sure what had happened, “it was just a dream I guess.” I got up and put a pair of black and white plaid pajama pants and a white tank top and went back to my bed.
“What was it about?” Michael asked concerned.
“Boris.” I gave a resentful little laugh. “He came to kill me like he killed Jack.” He looked at me for a minute, like he was trying to register what I had said.
“He what?” He asked dumbfounded.
“The day before Jack died we were going to leave. Boris found out and he killed Jack. He was afraid he would get arrested.” I explained.
“Arrested for what.” He was afraid to ask.
“He would beat Jack and me. Boris would try and get fresh me with. That is why we were leaving.”
“No wonder Diana wanted you out of there so bad. Well I brought you some spaghetti for that restaurant, you should really eat.” I went over to the table and opened the styrofoam container and began to eat. Michael sat across from me.
“What happened in that house?”
I looked away and stared out the window, not wanting to grasp what had truly happened. I wanted to believe it was all just some nightmare, but some nightmares come to life.
“Boris,” I started my long tale. “When I was twelve, just filling out he brought me to a bar.” I cringed at this memory.
“It’s ok, go on.” He comforted. I took a deep breath.
“He picked me up from school one night, piano practice in fact. I should have known something was wrong. I remember how demonic the forest around me looked, and that dirt road that inevitably lead to my hell. He brought me in that backwoods tavern,” I couldn’t control the spite in my voice. “I sat on that bar stool, trying to disappear; of course Boris was always throwing me back into his sick reality. He was touching me and trying to sell me off to his friends, if it weren’t for that bar tender…God I don’t even want to know what would have happened. That’s how it all started though. Ever since then he looked at me strangely. After Jill got pregnant is when life became a disaster. Boris was beating on Jack then but it got worse after she died. The only escape we had was each other.” I stopped talking, debating on whether I should tell him about my love affair with him.
“Dominique, what is it? What happened?” He coaxed.
“Its sick I know but you don’t understand how we were…are…We had a love affair. We were all each other had, it was only me and him.” I couldn’t stop the tears from slipping out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.
Michael’s face was sympathetic. He reached over the table and took my hands.
“It’s ok, I understand. I would never condone you for that. You love him very much I can see this.”
I repressed my tears and went on.
“When Jill died, that’s when grandmother Dian moved in. She was a monstrous woman, she hated me and ignored Jack, she ignored everything.” I felt the hatred rising in my voice. “Jack and I still had each other and we could block her blows through our love for each other. We were happy. That is until she told me and Jack was my brother and my real father was Boris.”
His jaw dropped. “Oh my God. Boris is your real father…no one ever told you.” His shock melted away into sympathy. I continued on with my long story. How the beatings progressed and how Jack and I had planned to leave the day before he died and why grandmother Dian had sent me away. Michael kept they sympathetic look on his face.
“You are too young to have to know how the world really works. I met your family once, very long ago, something with Jean and Dian. I knew something was wrong with that family. Boris especially, I never liked that man.” His face turned very cold when he said Boris’s name. Again, his manner changed and became soft.
“That’s all going to change now, I promise you will be happy. You should get some sleep.” I nodded, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I walked over to the bed and let myself sink under the covers and into a deep sleep.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. My eyes fluttered and Michael was sitting on the bed adjacent to mine.
“You like coffee?” He asked
“Oh God yes.” I smiled and lifted the cup up to my face, inhaling the fragrant steam that danced under my nose. I took a long refreshing sip.
“Like it black I can see.” Michael said with a smile.
“Is there any other way?” He laughed.
“We will get to home tonight, when you are finished start to get your things together.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and finished my coffee and then got dressed. Michael brought my things out to the car and we checked out of the hotel.
I made myself comfortable in the passenger seat again, awaiting another long day of driving.
I stared out the window at the flat terrain. I figured we were somewhere in the Carolinas due to the heat that was overwhelming to me. I slipped off my tee-shirt and revealed the black tank top I had under it. It seemed we had driven for hours in silence.
“Dominique, will you reach in the back and pull out that CD case?”
I opened the case and thumbed through the pages of music. He had everything from Korn to John Lennon. Judging by the all the music he had I could tell he felt very passionate about it.
“That one.” He said pointing to a Metallica CD. I handed it to him and he put it in the stereo. The heavy metal music poured out of the speakers. I liked the guitar rifts and the dark lyrics of the music. I had never listened to much music other than what I played myself.
“Jean hates this kind of music, she like country and easy listening. The two types of music I actually don’t like.” I laughed when he said this.
“I love music, always have. When I was a little younger than you I first heard rock music and I had an uncle that listened to it. My parents didn’t like it much but they are very religious.”
“I like it.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I never really got into music other than my piano.” I was a little embarrassed to tell him this.
“That’s great! I can teach you all about rock music then. You can teach me about you piano.” I smiled.
Michael was quickly becoming my bestfriend. It was strange. Only a day ago we were complete strangers.
“So what do you like to do? What are your favorite classes? How are your grades?” He asked enthusiastically
“I like the piano, obviously. That was my only real escape back home. I could always get lost in my music, weave a story around myself. I love music. Especially when I am making it, it’s so passionate.” I saw a smile of approval form on his face.
“I like my English classes. I’m not very good at math. My grades have always been good.”
“I’m glad to hear that. You’re a hard worker, that’s good.”
We talked for hours about music; the passion of it and what each other knew about it. He told me about his days in high school and college. There wasn’t much I could tell him that he didn’t already know about me.
I felt myself getting tiered and drifting to sleep again.
“Dominique, wake up.” I opened my eyes groggily.
Out side the window I saw gigantic trees dripping with Spanish moss and dense swamps around me.
“We’re almost there.” He said eagerly.
We passed cities that seemed ageless. The beautiful French architecture and the smell of food sent my mind into frenzy. I became very anxious of what was happening. I was in another part of the country in totally different surroundings, it was overwhelming. I reached for Sally and drew my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes. I wanted to be with Daddy again, I wanted to hear him say, “Don’t be scared I am here.” That is when Michael put his hand on my shoulder.
“It’s ok Dominique, there is no reason to be scared.” In that instance I felt myself melt to him, he became my only support.
We pulled down a road into a nice neighborhood with a variety of beat. Then in a driveway with a bi-level ranch home. The siding was beige with dark brown trim and bordering the house were flower beds with lavish, fragrant tropical flowers and a small tree in the front yard.
I stepped out of the car and took in my surroundings, inhaling what could be my only chance at happiness. The sky seemed brighter and though there was a thick humidity I felt I could breathe for the first time.
“Dominique?” I spun around as Michael was getting my things out of the back.
“You alright?”
“Yeah I’m fine Michael.” I followed him up the front steps of the house.
I walked into a small living area decorated in green plants. There were three plush couches bordering the cream colored walls. There were paintings of exotic animals hung were there weren’t green plants. The room seemed crowded. A head of me there was a kitchen. Most of the appliances were black and the floor and cabinets were made out of pseudo wood. Black and beige runners were on the floor.
“Jean likes to decorate,” Michael said looking around at the living room. “A lot.” We laughed a little. Michael led me down the stairs.
“I hope you don’t mind the we set, well I, set up a room for you in the basement. All the upstairs rooms are being used. I will take you shopping tomorrow and we can decorate it with what ever you want.” I followed him into the basement, right at the bottom of the stairs there was a brown door.
“This is it” he opened the door and brought me in. The room with in what seemed two sections. When I walked in the door I saw a little spot in the wall where a big dresser with an enormous mirror, next to that was a closet. A bed and a book shelf were on the back wall. In the section that resembled a square there was a couch and an entertainment center and a small shelf.
“I put in these two desks and this dresser, “he pointed to another dresser the stood vertical next to two desks, “in here myself. This is my old computer, it still works.”
It was much bigger than my room when I was with Jack. “I love it, “ I said in a very tiered voice, not realizing my fatigue.
“I know it isn’t much right now but it will be soon, it’s a little blank. Do you like the color?” The walls were gray and the carpet black. “Its fine Michael, I do like it very much.”
“You look exhausted; maybe you should try to sleep for a while.” I nodded my head. “Alright, I will be upstairs if you need me.”
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