i grew up in the countryside of northamptonshire.. home of my grandparents,, although i lived with my parents.. i visit Northampton and sit by the graves... isolated and still, (the smallest village!!!!!) at one with those missed.....................................
i find that i am not really passionate about individual things, or ideals, i try sometimes quite hard to not be like everyone else, not sure why that is!!!! never felt like i fitted into the life i actually chose for myself?????
now, a nomad,, no purpose right now,, exploring, ponder, the race for money, blood , oil!!!!
i find comfort being amongst ppl also apart from the majority.. in whatever way they chose or find themselves to be!!
i have a deep mind that i know,, full of old shite for the most part, but get it away from the regular stuff and I'm in trouble,
me music and goose bumps!!!!!!! whats that about,,, get them thinking about sound rushing me,, now!!!! feeling it inside of you.. strange but its the same as being where ppl die!!!!! exactly the same emotions are stirred???? one with manic noise and thunder of the band and audience, the other from the stillness and reflection.. the noise and sounds of the long forgotten!!!!!! great to be able to feel soo deeply..
but also a terrible noose round your neck,, things and topics you know you would love to talk about, experience within is all you can bare.. funny that ,,now i think about it,, if i keep it inside enjoy the closeness that's achievable with tears, fine.. if i want to share my moment,,,, forget it,, no connection from heart to vocals is available,,
i stand a top a hill side at Appomattox court house!!!!! 13 stones inside a small ring fence.. i stand at the gate.. its like i'm not allowed in there!!!!!!!!!! there is no way i can go in... such power!!!!! yet i can feel great sorrow,, in an instance.. a freaking instance.. almost like shock???????
