To Vampire Rave, hope you enjoy my profile and I would like to say thank you for stopping by hope you like it and enjoy.
A little bit more about myself I am a 20 year old *DEVIL HORNS IN THE AIR* and my name is J.C. Trust me when I say that I am the most down to earth and honest person that you will meet. If I can help you in any way shape or form just ask cause I wont hesitate, I dont mind sacrificing what I can give because I am already doing that. My hobbies and other cool shit is further down so check it out.
Naci en los EE UU pero soy un orgulloso mexicano que respecta sus raices. Mis jefecitos venirion a los EE UU por una vida mejor y amo mis dos banderas con honor. Siplemente quiria ser un soldado porque queria ser algo importante con mi vida, y quero un education y querio dar todo a mi familia lo que me han dado todos estos anos.
Viva Rock en Roll porque es la unica cosa que si va seguir por los siglos de los siglos.
I’m not a fucked up person just somebody with a lot of issues that have changed me and I have never been the same. I would of died to be where I am right now but I hate that it took for me to come to the Army just to change and shift from where I used to be. It all started 15 years when I was five when I was sexually molested by a 14 year old why do I say this out in the open because I have finally gotten over it. Even though that now I have become far better than he will ever be, something still told me I should kill him and I don’t blame him but back than it was different so here I am something more but back than I was as black as the dark night sky. I used to premeditate his murder in my hands by dreaming of sharpening a blade the size of my hand and 2 loaded .45’s with enough ammunition to end the world. Hot metal lead with his name on it and a blade that was in great thirst of his blood but it was better that I never did it to begin with. I don’t want to cause him pain but by now he is either getting raped himself in prison or he is dead. I prefer both so that he can see the end.
My father was an addict and well something that has consumed him for years but he has left that life and is no longer a dead beat addict dad. I love him for the change that he has made himself to do for his family and if he can do that I can do the same. I was leading a life that soon enough if I kept going I would end up in an alley dead or bleeding to death. Drugs, violence, sex, shame, and regret something that was spiraling down so slowly that I hit rock bottom a few years ago so it was pitiful but I saw it in the end and I kept forsaking my brothers but no more I do this for them and I love them. No more of that life because I didn’t get out I don’t know if I would of ever got out alive.
I wasn’t always like this but I grew up angry and outcasted by other kids at school and not to say its their fault because kids can be evil and cold-blooded. I don’t know why I ever blamed them but growing up being obese and different because of my lazy eye kids saw that as an opportunity to fuck with me. So guess what I came out better in the end than what they expected I can see and I can fire a fucking M16 or M4 just the same I just happen to shoot with one eye and scan with the other. An admirable and a very big advantage so I guess its not so funny when I can shoot better just because of the way my eyes are.
I have had two uncles who chose suicide I just hope I don’t do the same. I have seen death since I was eight and was suicidal and homicidal since I was seven. So much ouf that death was of family member but I now see that death is a form of life whether somebody chooses to die before their time is up. Still I feel it in my heart and I miss my uncles but I can’t blame them either so what else can I do either than think of them and hope they rest in piece.
I’ve had my problems with love or they seem to find me because I always seem to end it in a bad way shape or form but I believe if I can love my life I will see my love life change and reward me. Attracting woman has never been a problem for me, the only problem I had I just never knew how to let go of the past. I just got out of a friendship that wasn’t worth it anymore for me or her, I don’t blame her for breaking my heart but I did than, now I chalk up to a life lesson. But I can honestly say I have had my heart broken more than three times and I have broken a couple hearts myself so guess what nobody is perfect just far from it and nothing can form a being either than being normal. The sin was theirs as much as it was mine and I know I have committed more than enough of sins just on my own so here were are back to that thing of being perfect, nobody is and no one is to blame, not yourself or them but chalk it up to a life experience. So I did a little to late, huh.
No matter how hard I try to gain a persons trust and trust them in the same way I have a big problem with trust. Altho I can be very loyal and a true friend no matter what through and through, mind you I was betrayed by someone else so young. And I have been betrayed, used and abused more than I can count but that doesnt mean I should be taken for granted. I am tired of people who do that especially people like my superiors, GOD I HATE THAT SHIT AND I HATE THE WAY THEY CAN JUST KEEP DOING IT EVEN IF I SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. But nothing is worth killing yourself over no matter how deep and shallow or hollow the feeling taints your soul. Suicide is something I am glad I havent done yet. I fuck up, people fuck with me and the scars are somewhat still their but its not worth it no matter how sick it makes you feel.
But I am making those mistakes into a mission of finding myself, what other way to see yourself in the mirror other than metal, drawing and writing yourself into another dimension. I chose metal and the Army because it was the only to be different something new and nothing or nobody could change the machine that is already stuck on destruction. Looking for a new friendship with a female that I hope becomes something more. I know now that I am ready for a serious relationship, but I do expect this woman to be strong, independent, faithful and most of all like the same things I do.
I am now looking into the future, things are looking up. Its almost a year already spent in this shit hole of Afghanistan, were almost home. I’ve been advised and counseled to see a shrink, don’t really like shrinks. So here I am talking to this Canadian shrink (physiologists, mind doctor) who says I need to let go of the past and look into the future. I’ve had hard life and I know now that having a hard life is a part of growing up and learning from your mistakes. I am happy now, not sad or depressed like I used to be. I am currently in the stages of getting ready to go home and go to college. I am looking into becoming a poet/writer. I want to write a book of my own style of poetry and thoughts. How I see life and I also would like to write fiction and mystery books.
I am still writing like I used to and I write about so much different things and ideas. Its intense and I so I’ve been told by my current shrink and he sees how I can just make you feel like that is happening to you. Who knows how much I’ve got written but if you would like to see some of my stuff check out my journal. I am stronger now more than every and I am SOLDIER, A FIGHTER, A FORCE TO NOT BE FUCKED WITH. HOPE SOME OF YOU LIKE MY PROFILE AND HOPE THAT YOU LEARNED SOMETHING READING MY THOUGHTS AND CONCEPTS.
Hobbies are metal, head banging, drawing, writing poetry, watching shit burn (burn baby burn), driving around in hummers, smoking a good strong cigar, joking with my battle buddies, watching shit blow up (EOD CAN DO SOME DAMAGE) hanging out with friends, cruising in my wheels of destruction, working out, finding new ways to fuck something up, fire weapons, fight, and kick ass
I work with the us army and am deployed to Afghanistan. US ARMY INFANTRY ALL THE FUCKING WAY. black hair, brown eyes, muscular, medium height, and come with spikes, chains and gothic accessories. my best friend is darkhand
I am back home people. HELL TO THE FUCK YEAH! I am so glad that now i can wear black and feel like i am back in my own skin. THANKS FOR ALL THE RATES GUYS EVEN THO MY PROFILE DOES SUCK! TAKE CARE AND REMEMBER STRENGTH, HONOR, and MOST OF ALL FAITH...HOOAAH!!!
More Favorite Quotes
Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, Personal Courage
(LDRSHIP)
Que quieres de la vida (What do you want in life?)
Expect the worst and hope for the best
Mercies for the weak
One shot, one kill
One chance to make it right, go for it.
BeLIEving is a lie
Things happen for a reason so take it as it comes.
Be stronger than yourself and know that there is another way
Problems and stress are not the worst of my problems
Dieing is the least of my worries, I just worry about dieing alone
If I could I would change the past, but they haven’t invented a time machine yet.
If its not metal, its crap
Why stand if you can sit
If worst comes worst I’ll tell the voices in my head to shut up.
What the hell, do I have too.
Its better to hear a good lie than the bad truth
Women are like men, horny and cruel, just better looking and way much better liars.
Let a crazy person run his mouth, no one likes to hear him but himself
Why tell the truth when you can lie your way out
What was the worst part of your day that I haven’t already been through
Good mourning sunshine
All a man can do is be himself and keep it simple
The worst part of my day is waking up…what’s yours?
Don’t make this harder on yourself just do it and get it over with
Love is a beautiful four letter word, hate is a four letter word that I prefer using.
The first time you betrayed me, The second time you lied to me and the third you might as well as use me because you have already done the worst.
If you want piece you must prepare for war
What we do in life echoes in eternity.
To each his own.
Choices are mad everyday, good and bad or big and small; what happens next remains to be seen.
Men are the ones who create evil on Earth, it is the choices they make that enslaves their souls.
War is never the answer, even if you hate the person….or COUNTRY.
