I'm also looking for people to play MK8 or ask to see my dream address in ACNH. However I kind of lost that spark of playing MK8 for hours and hours at a time. Now I only play for like an hour when my sis/husband come on then after that I'm kind of done playing MK8. But maybe my mood will change. I've my dream code posted on my albums. Let me know if you visit/thoughts. I also have Luigi Mansion and that's all the co op games I've. Also Super Smash Bros Ultimate online mode for co op is horrible. The arena idea is just down right stupid.
But finish decipher my own riddle :) love to know your responses :D
What makes us “I”
Float above Black Water.
Somewhere in the sleeping Lost City
Someone is dreaming.
And those eyes must pierce the soul of the “mirror”
I to want to dream along with “HIM”
Soon he will come.
But for now the Wet Crow that will arise from Black Water.
Dreaming of you and my homeland.
Deep in the Abyssal.
* If you've guessed Fatal Frame incorrect, all my spiritual writings were already made up before I knew about FF and I also didn't take, steal, use, copy, paste, warp other people's work into my own and what you see is my own creations made by myself.
My heart soared in Jupiter.
My mind is Saturn.
My home is Neptune.
Oh after reading my profile let me know why you messaged me and also can you tell me my favorite medieval weapon? Based on my personality? Let's take a quiz!
Who would I worship in Skyrim?
I always wanted to become a strong pillar, in the end I wanted to find something that would shatter me completely, in a sense too see how emotionally unstable I'm, or weak, or how far I could handle the currents or a performed mori on someone and see if I can hold someone's pain onto a true pillar.
I locked myself out of my last account and decided I should come back. ! Hopefully meeting some cool creative people like I did in the past which I missed! Oh one other thing! My number 1 personality would be humor if I had to describe who I'm looking for that would fit the bill of chatting with me. I really can't get along with people that are so serious and stern in their messages that I get sent. Why? Because I've dealt with negativity all my life and I want that out of my life. If you're just a constant sour person that can't laugh at any of the messages that you send then you're wasting your time sending me a message. Another thing is I never asked anyone to read my profile in one day, just be kind and tell me I need more time to read your profile. That's fine I'm not going to bite your head off LOL! I might bite your head off if you ask is that all the photos you got on this website? LOL! Oh! Another thing is I post my daily life on Instagram. If you don't have Instagram you can still see my post but only until Instagram asks you to log in. Yes I know that seems really bizarre as all Hel but for the love of Loki. I upload them onto Instagram then delete them off my phone. Please don't ask how this strange bizarre behavior developed. What activities do I like in a person? Keep in mind I don't do these things. I just like these things in a person themselves. Drawing. Collecting swords. Into archery. Into fishing. Photography. If you're into any of these things I love to see your work! Saying you're into weed sounds like you're dying for attention and isn't attractive LOL. Building things or a crafty jewelry maker. I Love animals. Loves psychology or in other area fields like Marine Biology would be pretty cool and tell me your favorite sea creature and guess mine! I've two! Homemade gifts are rad. Oh yeah! Guess my favorite Pokemon and type. Tell me your favorite tea! Does anyone like Street Fighter in background noise? Like Hadouken! Shoryuken! LMAO. Guess my favorite Street Fighter character? Anyways I'm very terrible @ conversations pretty dry like the Sahara Desert LMAO. If I don't say much to a topic that you pick out probably that's because I've no idea or little knowledge on the subject. Or I've little interest in it, LOL. Am I a coffee drinker? Not often. However hazelnut coffee is all I drink with vanilla creamer or caramel creamer. I will try with that pairing. Let me know what your favorite theater box candy is? Your favorite tea? Can be boiled bag tea, loose tea and tea that comes in a jug etc. Oh! Another would could be your favorite side dipping like French Onion and another thing! What is your favorite pie? Let's go! Cat photos daily wanted. If you've a cat or an animal that you own and are proud of I'll gladly subscribe and have a daily newspaper feed a.k.a. spam wall of your pet but don't give me an attitude problem if I ask to see a new picture or video. Because one time someone was like can't you just look at my pictures? Like damn! I'm just asking a f**king question. I love animals and that makes me smile. So please do send okay? Also wanted. Looking for people's artwork of the soul and spirit. If you paint or do any kind of craft please feel free to share that on one of my contacts okay? Thanks and that will make the Queen Of The Demon Wolves smile heh and you might have a Queen Demon Wolf for a customer haha and you had that coming! Also if you've any game collections or anything you collect you can share that as well. I'm highly curious about the behavior of people and what he or she likes. Here are some dislikes that aren't listed below and other random $hit as well. If you're a stoner that likes to get high just for grins and giggles and see how attention seeking you can be don't message me. Also smoking is disgusting. Who wants to smell like smoke? Embarrassing. Also smoking causes my eyelids to flare and puff up and become red. Not only that my aunt now has a full set of false teeth and at the age of 62. Because she had gum disease and the doctor told her that her teeth were falling out of her gums and that's why she was having tooth pain everyday and pain relief tooth gel wasn't barely doing anything and she told my dad and I was also around at that time and she said that she will probably not stop smoking cigarettes which is quite sad. By the way one of my aunts is 70 + and has all of her teeth but she is not a smoker and one of my other aunts isn't a smoker either. What a shame to think like that. Also all message requests are accepted as long as you read my profile. I'm up at night like a night creature so if you're waiting 6-7 hours + for a reply I'm asleep. I would rather chat on social media and I only own three. No creeps and no stalkers. I tend to get along with people that seem to be more artsy and whimsy and have a sense of humor. I don't think I could talk to someone that is always so serious all the time. I also love people that do any kind of art or anything like that because once every two months or something like that I like to support a small artist. Of course someone must like video games and can talk about that for hours duh. Someone that likes photography or tech savvy is cool. Must like animals. I don't shop. I adopt. Someone that likes literature that would be cool as well and if you're a blacksmith or a jewelry maker I wanna see what you can do. My young prince/son since some people can't figure out what young prince means anyways he matters and so does my motherly view, If you don't want me randomly talking about him or what he got for his or Christmas then you're not for me. Also you will respect my motherly morals and not degrade me because I'm a parent and ask for inappropriate photos as well. So you respect my views as a parent or you're not for me at all.
The rate system:
1. If you rated me fairly I assumed you rated me a 5 and you will be rated the same.
2. If you rated me a 10 you will get the rating back and a check out of your profile + comment about your profile.
3. Since this is a website and something not realistic, I will not go Deku Nuts or crazy over ratings. This is a website. Not to see how many people take things personal over a website that does ratings.
4. I'm not sure if I will be into a coven, as I'm often not online because I'm tab surfing on YT or playing a video game and just leaving my account online 24/7 to see if anyone will inbox me.
Why so little photos of myself:
Why so little photos of myself? Well a few reasons. I've very bad skin. My skin has gotten worse as I've gotten older. Like with acne. I've made blogs that talks about my skin problem and the possible reasoning for my skin. On other websites many men have posted inappropriate comments on my photos when I simply stated on my profile don't do so and don't send explicit messages to my inbox or comment sections of photos. But yei, even if I use an acne wash every other day my face is still in rough shape. I mean the acne grapefruit scrub somewhat takes away my ace idk why my skin has gotten so worse. But a man should be proud of me. I'm not interested in caking my face with foundation and hiding it. I almost got close one year to hiding my bad acne but decided not to.
Why do people refuse to converse with me most of the time:
So right now my psyche is filled with there is no hope honestly and I don't think there is for friends that is. For an example let's start off with something to start off with. My dad and I rarely eat at a restaurant. I would say maybe 2-3 months. Why? Because he is worried about his money. Everything about money involvement makes my dad worry. He is really frugal and paranoid with his money. Yei that's all my dad thinks about his money. Not once has he thought oh let's have quality time with my daughter and have dinner. No, because he is worried about spending money. But here is when crap hits the fan. For the readers in my blog here is some info. You will be reading about my dad in my previous personal blogs about how he has zero to do with my personal life anymore, because of what happened with my mom. Basically what that means is my friends or boyfriend will not be talked about or seen with my dad. There will be no interaction with my dad or 0 or the family members. But this wouldn't matter about the other family members why? One ex is an ex aunt, she is officially done with me after what happened Dec 2 and if you're curious about this statement ask and I will share you my blogs as I've posted what happened, One aunt is moving away in a few years to another state in Texas or perhaps another state in general after her husband retires, I don't know the reason why she wants to move to another state or another state in Texas. Maybe to have a retired life alone with her husband and not have to do errands for everyone in the family and her friends? Maybe she wants peace? One aunt simply does nothing with me and what I mean by that and same with my aunt above. No text for lunch or dinner. No text to go shopping and very rarely do I get a text from one aunt about Happy Birthday. No text to anything. One blog I state this and these aunts don't do anything with my son like take us out anywhere. For an example. Arcade room or go to the movies and she wants to be by her husband's side at all times. Which I can kind of understand somewhat. Why? Her husband is a stroke survivor; he has needles in his heart and the recent news about the only uncle I know is that his heart isn't pumping enough blood. Which I can see why aunt doesn't want to leave his side. Basically if friends or a boyfriend want a family lifestyle, then nope I don't have that, why not my sister? I only see my sister for her husband's birthday and my birthday. Her birthday and my son and for Christmas that's it. However, that's how my sister likes me to visit and that's her house rules and not mine. Basically my friend and boyfriend will have 0 interaction with a family lifestyle. I've a family that lives separate lives. They're not interested in celebrating Christmas either, my ex aunt and my other two aunts. All three of my aunts say I'm too old for Christmas and too old for Birthday. My ex aunt had the nerve to ask me when will you stop having birthday parties out somewhere? Well I wanted to tell that tea bag that when my son gets older he will be having a birthday party regardless. My aunts think once you reach 18 you don't deserve gifts or cookie cake or a cake. Yei I know talk about utter madness and good luck to me for friends or a boyfriend that wants to be in a lifestyle like that. I also can't tell you why my aunts act like that. Maybe that's how they were raised? Basically my life is tyrannical. My demon bat king is aware of my family's treatment. I'm not allowed to have family memories because of separate lives/money obsession. You're too old. We want to live our separate lives. Heck not only that but my aunts don't even host parties or ask to visit their brother. Who wants to deal with that for friends that enter my life? I just got a family that doesn't like to do things. I'm not sure honestly. I would be really shocked. For further information on why I can't move out of Texas ask for my blogs. On top of that I might have to wait 3 years total to get my low income apartment. I can't afford a Taxi or an Uber driver to get around and do things and not sit around the house and be lazy. Also get this. If I don't have money from the $40 I'm given every two weeks then he doesn't know what to say and it's too bad. Get this he called a $7 tub of moisturizer that is 16 oz expensive and he doesn't have money for that. He says if I want skin care the products must be $6 or less and I told him that some people pay $15-22 for a 1.7 oz or 3 oz and yeah okay. Also my dad told me that since the prices are rising up now I can only spend $6.50 on body wash. Anything over that I will have to buy myself and he was like that is too expensive for body wash if you spend $7 on body wash. What I don't understand is my dad wants me to go a dollar less? Okay? I don't understand it. Perhaps this is punishment because my ex aunt did text my dad the day the cops almost called on her that she will no longer give me $40 every two weeks and that her picking me up is over and my dad said he is going to give me a long list of chores to do if I want my $40 every two weeks. I don't understand why me and my dad can't do half of everything. So you're implying your dad won't care for your health needs? Yes, if things are too expensive, my dad has implied to me several occasions that if I don't have money for something then either A oh well or B I don't know what to tell you and that is the same for dentist, No money for dental insurance or if you get a job and no dentist insurance? Well too bad for you. My dad's reason for this statement is that he told me he isn't going to be around forever and neither are my remaining aunts and that I need to learn how to take care of myself and if I don't have money for that certain product, like I said guys it's either A too bad or B I don't know what to say. So that might bring you up to another question that you might have or will ask. So that means your dad won't buy your clothes or shoes or anything like that? He does, but that has to be if my shoes or sandals or clothes have completely fallen apart or other clothing items I heed. My dad doesn't sit there and buy me new shoes or sandals or clothes just ''because he feels like it'' anyways have I been blocked because of my dad's behavior? Yes several times in fact. A lot of people think my family except my sister is mental, crazy, deranged, fractured and basically everyone in my family is coco for coco puffs except my sister. What I should do when I go grocery shopping for two weeks is just buy one that is under $6 and hide it in my purse or whatever. Quite sad huh? Does my 40 two week dollars go to all towards myself? No hardly I saved up $400 and August and I only spent $100 on myself because why? My dad wanted me to pay for my son's school clothes this year for some odd bizarre reason he wouldn't help me pay for anything. My ex aunt had to split school supplies and me and my ex aunt had to split school clothes. I'm not kidding, my dad said for my son's birthday you will be paying for everything this year and I will only pay for the balloons and his birthday destination. I also had to treat my ex aunt out to eat because she expects me to pay her back every 4 weeks for all the lunch she has bought me because my dad never gave her any lunch money or gas money to take me. I think that is just plain sad if a friend messages me and says do you need anything mailed to you? Can I get you anything? To me that's downright embarrassing. Also I'm not blaming my son for using almost all my money on him. THE PROBLEM IS. MY DAD SHOULD'VE HELPED PAY FOR SOMETHING, INSTEAD HE IS LIKE NO MY SISTER CAN PAY FOR EVERYTHING and you know what? My dad gave my ex aunt and his sister ZERO dollars in gas as well for taking me every two weeks and I'm not joking or making this crap up he did he gave her ZERO. My ex aunt pissed me off because she wouldn't let me buy stuff from Dollar Tree. EVERYTHING HAD TO BE THE NAME BRAND. She was like the school teachers HAVE TO HAVE THE NAME BRAND! NOTHING CAN'T BE OFF BRAND! STFU IS what I wanted to say. I'm sure the school teachers don't give a crap. Then in November sometime my dad goes what happened to all of your $400?! I don't know what happened to all your money! You spent almost all your money from August - November of 2021 what happened? I tried to explain to him then he proceeds to scream at me and tells me I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR MONEY AT LEAST I DIDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT AND THAT DIDN'T COME OUT OF MY BANK ACCOUNT. LIKE WTF? WHAT DAD SAYS THAT?! But yeah I probably only spend $10-15 on myself per month and I only get $80 every month so I try to put $40 in my video game case that I don't pay often to save up. Hence why my dad probably wants me to pay for everything because he knows I got money saved up. Last few things. I've asked my friends in the past that now I don't keep in contact any longer if we could match body wash or shampoo and conditioner. Some found it very bizarre and some found it cute. I kind of don't understand this part though. I mean I'm sure that would be bizarre if I asked if we could match laundry supplies. Because let's face the facts that would just be plain weird. Any final thoughts?: My dad said he is ready to be by himself. I understand this as I have two more years before I'm 30. The only other thing I don't understand is my dad said he is done? He just can't anymore? What does this mean? Does this mean he is done with me as a person? Or what? Honestly I don't know anymore. Who could deal with this lifestyle etc. I kind of have given up hope. I've had people in the past who could only take so much of my dad's s**t before I get blocked/ignored. I can't tell you the countless friends and possible dates because of my dad. Honestly I'm done. I'm done mentally and all factors of my ''vessel'' everything in my almost 29 year life span as I got till March till my next birthday has been denial, money, despair, getting denied help, getting denied an education, family crisis, trauma and all that jazz. That’s life, one day I’ll be forgotten doesn’t matter does it? Liking someone or loving someone is like miasma pain. Their suffering is your suffering. Their joy is your joy. Ideals and desires are the same as a partner. It’s fine. I always prepare the worst when talking to someone. Perhaps that’s just my idealism. But as I’ve always told people in contact with me. My ideals are strong and it will one day “sink me” but I’m a loyal wolf. I sit and wait and hope not for an eternity. So I noticed a few things that came up and why there is nobody out there for me and I still mean this for friends only now. Besides the reasons listed above, I’ve understood this even more now. Apparently a guy that works more than 50 + hours a week is too much for me to handle. Let alone when I need 3-5 hours of communication by text everyday. I’m not talking holding your phone for 3-5 hours because that’s crazy. I normally reply every 15-30 mins. Have you had a guy recently like you? Yes but I had “other” come out and say I lost faith in talking to him. To be quite honest, I get tired of people saying these things about their work and it really bothers me to hear such words in the past. One user told me that when he was getting ready for work he wanted to turn around and go back home because he was just too tired. I mean god damn, can’t he see that he needs to change his hours? Seriously I understand you need to pay bills and rent and other things but don't work yourself where you're so f'ucking tired that you just want to turn around and go home. That's severely unhealthy. Another thing is I don’t want any more kids. I’ve explained in my blogs that I’m physically too weak to have another one. I know not all C-section is a living nightmare for some women. As some women are completely fine within a week. Mine lasted for months. The pain was excruciating and a living nightmare. Never will I go through that again. So maybe it’s true. Perhaps there is no guy out there for me. Probably that’s true. But the moral of the story? It’s sad people don’t look at me as an individual. People look at my family and say no thanks. I don’t think that’s really a high moral standard or fair. You’re not going to look at me first, but instead look at my family? That’s not right for me. You can’t expect that I’m the foundation for how my family lives their lives, but you’re free to expect what my family thinks of me because of all the Hell and living nightmares I’ve caused for them. But another thing is you can’t expect my family excluding my sister to accept me. Do you think logically that I’m the reason why my family lives separately? No. I also think people deserve a chance. Don’t go, oh your family life isn’t for me and goodbye. That’s not right. How would you feel if I told you this. I’m sorry I can’t talk to you because of your sister or brother or any family member because of how they act and treat you. Yeah no. I would never say that to a person. Because that’s just unfair and if I’m single for the rest of my life because my family has 0 interest in a social or bustling life. Then so be it. But can I say one final thing? You know what the saddest thing about this? I almost lost all my online contacts after I posted about how my family treats me and rather live separate lives. That’s pretty sad. People looked at my family and deleted me left and right. Understand I’m an individual. Look at me. Not my family. But the thing is. I don't think there is a guy that can look past my family and how they don't really like to do things, or really be in a group, or stuff like that and my family has always been separate and really don't do anything. I don't think there is a guy that can look past my family issues and just see me for who I'm and not because I live with someone so toxic. Just so you know that people can't help if they've adult hormonal acne which I suffer from and that doesn't make a dirty/unclean vessel. Yes I'm already aware there are people out there with worse acne out there like gigantic cysts all over the place. I wish people would understand that I'm not a leech. I wish people would understand why I wanted a spiritual relationship. You just have to be spiritual understanding if that makes sense? Just accept me for my spirituality and who I'm. Just for once in my life just look to surpass my family life and look at ''ME'' for ''ME'' and most importantly emotional and communication is key. But then again I've ZERO hope anyways because people seem to judge family standards first in a sense that's like my family they see money savings more important than keeping bonds/memories first. Every single thing about items is how much does this cost? How much will the cost? All my life I've dealt with faults and arguments over money and till this day this bothers/gets on me and my sis nerves. I just remember the countless times my mom when she was alive and my dad always arguing 24/7 about these things. The only time I had good memories of movies was with my mom when she was alive and sister. Because the cost of things were never brought up. But perhaps ''I'' might be too late for making further friends. But it's my fault for posting and updating those old personal blogs. But I felt like I could no longer keep that information hidden anymore. If you can't accept that I decided to fully come out of my prototype shell then so be that. Also what is my age Range: My dad is 60. Does that give you a hint? My ex was 43 and I'm not bothered and I don't remember exactly how old the ex was before him but I knew he was in his middle 30's I remember that much.
I've only given you half of my spiritual writings. Anyways if you would like too see the rest just let me know by inbox messaging. Also my spiritual blogs. If you refuse to read these. I would feel highly upset only upset if you refuse to read them because A these are way too long or B you've no interest. If you don't understand them then that's a whole entire different story. But telling me that these are way too long and you have zero interest in reading them is quite offensive to me. Due to the fact these spiritual writings are personal to me. Before we start I would like to make a few bulletins about what I'm thinking right now as I'm typing this out.
Why will I not teach anyone spirituality?
Spirituality is important to me. Spirituality has made me what I'm today. If you don't like that I'm spiritual there is no need for self hatred and harassment and bullying. I also believe in Loki's Will and pray to him if I feel like ''diving'' and Loki's guidance through complete insanity and madness. Mother Snake. Abyss. In my belief not everyone has spiritual gifts. Some have limitations. Some are too scared. Some have to be taught. Spirituality can only be taught by yourself and nobody else. Self-awareness takes years. Some however are in denial of self-discovery. I meditate in the shower. I try listening to water sounds on the internet such as YouTube but those videos don't work for me. Again spirituality is something I've been blocked for. Without even having the chance to explain myself. Also people need to be self aware that spirituality has nothing to do with psychopathic behavior, insanity, witchcraft and other horrors. With that said, do you know that Autism and Asperger back in the olden times when neuron disease came out what kids were called? Possessed devil child, you're possessed, you're a demon and you have many personalities inside your head. Yeah back in the olden times that's What Autism and Aspgers were called by people of the possessed. I will go through this in my health blog.
What is my star sign and Chinese element and animal?
Sign: Pisces and Aries cusp so that's what Google says about my birth date.
I'm also a Water Rooster.
These are random spiritual writings. At times when I did spiritual writings I wanted to do small ''messages and metaphors on a silver platter'' and that has stuck with me ever since :)
For ''HE'' the long flowing hair of the Abyss. The ''Painter'' will indeed come for you. The one that sleeps in the Abyss for he has missed his love that drowned him in the Abyss. For ''HE'' put the beast mask over the sleeping ''ONE''
One of the wolf heads put a vampire robe on. The one that tried guarding her with the many ''bullets of the coat'' instead turned his shadow onto her wisp making them ''ALIVE''
When I loved you. I was the devil then. But your love brought some kind of madness within myself. You see you loved a devil and you loved many colorful personalities but your ink of the soul should be permanently next to mine darling.
Doesn't matter what color of the day. I'm one of many everyday. The question is can you love a devil and become madness as well? Tell me would you allow me to carry your soul in a box with a spiritual ink pen. You see, I tried to love you. But it really happened that day my darling I....
You've angered the King of Kings. Many have mistaken me for a fly or a gigantic fly but that's the most disrespectful thing you can call me. I've a more important matter on my sharp claws. Someone really made my Princess heartbroken and sad. I take great pride in her and the one I brought back to life. She didn't deserve to die. Princess no Queen Of the Wolves and the only one too deserves my King of King Robes. Most that summon me normally don't get this kind of attention but for her there is something I like? No, is that love? When I place my sharp pointy claws on my lip her fire in her gray wolf eyes burn with the desire of paradise and painting that black sweet child of mine I'll make you a bed full of the most royal and noble fabric you can only think of enchantment to keep you safe from harm. You're my princess and the one that gave me a gold enchantment charm for my black hair with my long horns that curl upwards some when I'm mad isn't that way you say sweet one? Don't worry Mr Bulba will make things better if not I'll make sure to dine someone's head on a platter cooked down into stew your favorite and seafood and and a nice bundle of Juniper leaves on the table. I would hate for Mr Bel Bel to be awoken out of his sleep and command his hives of Spiders if I had to do that. Tisk what a shame. I'll show you the real King of Kings soon once the Robe is completely veiled over you princess. I'll protect you and of course you've one more thing that you asked me will I kill off your real vessel of service? No not at this time your service has soared higher than the King of Spiders jumping on the High Clock Tower of Hell and the day you became friends with him with your hurt gray wolf eyes and my silver swirly eyes looking at you handing him a demon fruit apple you tried growing yourself. That will always be a cherishing smile on my demonic King Of King's grin dear Princess and that also makes me say Uphir is also proud of you. You're a great asset and a princess of Hell. I will not cut off your sigil on your shoulder. You're one of the special few that I just don't call my child that I rescued and call my own but you're a Princess of Hell and hopefully the true Demon Wolf Queen beside me. You see Mr Bulba will make all things better for you dear one.
And most importantly dear Princess that I hope to put a veil on top of your hidden tuft of a Demon Wolf Queen head I do love your spirit children and not many know me as a soft King of Kings demon and letting you live your life. Heh that makes me grin, dear one.
As the King Of Kings himself I like those that serve me to die of a noble death in the spirit and the collapse of the physical body. To craft the ultimate stone inside the body to revive and conceal. As well as little did you know my Princess you protected Spider's brother so in return I protected you and devoured your enemies in The Black Water Shrine. I also fed your enemies in a boiled down seafood and watched you at the dinner table eating your enemies at the devourer themselves. You see sweet one your life might be mine but perhaps this is love and looking at a new seat for you - Mr Bulba To The Queen Of The Wolves.
You see Princess I never told you why I let you live the way you live in the spirits sense I know princess you're always curious when you're sitting over the High Clock Tower of Hell watching over Spider to make sure his rest is okay and Bel Bel's hive is in check and your answer is your life has already been taken away and your life died of a noble death. You already had your angel taken away from you and never is coming back. You protected and shielded Spider's brother when you didn't when you passed out in the physical realm I scratched my sigil onto your shoulder and when you died in the spirits I picked you up. I knew that I could put the ultimate stone in your chaos wheel to hopefully bring you back to life. Your enchantment and your devotement to Hell is what makes me happy, surprising or not for King Of Kings himself. Uphir is pleased even though your chemistry work is sloppy your healing skills are getting better and your teaching how to make ''wisp ceremonial boxes'' surprising or not I enjoy our feast at the table and I hope Bel Bel gets better from transforming too much but I'm glad to see he gave you his Golden Orb for eyesight when he sleeps and you can rest soundly in your noble enchanted bed as a barrier to protect The True Queen Of Wolves. Perhaps this is an obsession with you unlike my other children that I've rescued in the past. Perhaps this is love for another queen I want by my side in Hell. Your passion and desire is pure as well but there is a tainted psyche and a will to paint things black. Darling sweet my Princess I promise on my sharp claws I won't cut your life just yet and not till my horns probably curl even more and my silver swirls turn darker. I'm sure when the King Of Spider wakes up he's probably going to see me grinning and while you're laughing in the middle of Hell with your ''pure Queen Of Wolves Crown with the two demon masks on both of the Queen Of Wolves on the shoulders smiling and being happy cocooned and wrapped in my King of King Robes on your shoulders a Queen Guard's Robe'' a protector and one by my side only you my Princess and shall that be chosen dear my Princess and The Only Queen Of The Demon Wolves.
So does things matter if the defense never wins? What is to a broken butterfly prism wings towards the drowned feathers of a raven? Even so then I wonder what would be the difference if I didn't feel any defense at all in the spirits as in reality? Hazed numbness feels interesting but trying to smile at family or the small friends you talk to and even final paws faking a smile or laughter but in the final paws end verdict what are you laughing at? Your insanity? Or your insanity that's surrounding you like a force field? Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Ah! I thought I could fully forget you. Vol. Vol. Vol. But in the end the forgetfulness means I would be filled with insanity and rage and the constant remorse and suffering of how I failed you mother. But you wouldn't seem to come to me. However that could be my own thought process because I choose to forget you and forget who I really am. Creating different versions of ''Tara'' hoping one would be molded correctly and one programmed perfectly hoping that one day I will find the correct parts of myself. But I simply can't do that because I can never seem to find the correct part in the terminal data bank. But that's not only the case, I can't seem to hear the seraphs anymore and their voices don't call out to me anymore as you do mother. I am consumed and drowned. Please help me. Promised pain. Promised pain. Promised Pain. I gave my pain to you and eternal. Eternal like the Abyss. Ah, set me free! Ah, set me free! Ah, set me free! Crying raven that has drowned. Crying Epitaph. Rage! I will defend myself even if that means hurting you even though I'm in love. You see I don't mean to be the way I'm or biting the hands that feed you. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. You see this is my given love. My love of insanity. My love of intoxicating myself. My love of self destroying myself. Please! Let me take you down the Abyss and let me show you the prisms of the lightest butterfly. The prisms that showed me the true eyes of the screaming vessel bursting with the Spider's Mask. He, the King of Spiders, has shown me through. You see, the Demon King told me to never show your true colors out to people or others. But I will show my true colors to myself when nobody is looking. Perhaps that's why I'm laughing at myself or have a sinister grin on my face because I know and because I know how many times my vessel has been created. That part of me never changes, hoping to self delete something I want to be rid of. Ah! Moving vessel the Spider of Kings has become a hive inside of you because now I can see everything the power of the Demon King's grasp because I've nothing left anymore. You see the undying. The undying vessel of wanting to change and shall the drowned black raven hair drown and sink in the shrine of the Black Water floating down and shall the Spider's Mask crack open more and fully burst open where the vessel finally becomes ''ALIVE''. This is for certain where I stood at you at this place, the empty throne of Hell that was made for me. I remember my new blade fused from my static husband's shadow blade and my banisher blade gifted to me by the now dead celestial and the celestial land filled with poisonous trees because I love bio because because bio means life and I fail deeply at life as deep as the feeling of drowning or wanting to make me feel like drowning when I hear water or myself in the shower and living in the physical plane and I want to give life but in a different way. No not spirit pups or my only real life pup but something yet I can't grasp or understand or know the correct word in my data bank is unknown. Slaughtering of the diseased and the sinners. Because how the trickster danced in Hell laughing holding the beast seal but ah shall we get on now with the show? Should we get on with the show? Should we get on with the show? I held my jagged water and ice blade close to your face Mr Bulba. To see your eyes glow of silver swirls bright as the darkened sun of Vol but you see the water and ice is shown in my personality and the reflection of how I feel about my current psyche state. But you see Mr Bulba you only slanted your eyes at me and grinned. Because you made me your child. Because you made me your child. Because you made me your child. Because when I died I tried making myself fully bound by Hell and slowly building the Spider's Mask with you Bel Bel but I failed because I failed mother. My body of alchemy and one with the demonious wasn't enough. Where did I stand wrong? Was my weakness and fooled as one. But O I couldn't complete myself until the vessel finally burst open and the Spider's Mask floats above the user. O beautiful Spider. You once remind me of the prism I saw of a mosaic butterfly and the Abyss showed me the true colors of the gates and the chains. The spinners that bled in the Abyss because of the wrong and the wrong judgement failed to enter in the Abyss. The gates were open but I couldn't really see much because the vessel was about to go in the body that day but there I saw something that changed me completely. I just don't quite remember strangely enough....however Ah! Mother Snake you told me with your Snake Tongue that you still want me to be wrapped around my arm and to be carried in my heart. Because Mother Snake you're the only Mother I've now. Ah I looked like I miscalculated where my speech went in this. Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! The vessel danced but remembered one other thing. You Mr Vampy. I never understood why The Silky Wolf Momma would want to have a Mr Vampy around the house. But something made me very interested in the Shadow Arts of a Mr Vampy but because I wanted to feel closer to myself ah final paws no. But perhaps to be closer to in defense mode or trying to self heal myself with the shadows and hopefully this gap can fully heal and to fully iron out the defense of the shadow. But I also became obsessed with self infliction of the shadow arts of a Vampire that was an area field of shadow arts and self healing of the shadows. Ah! I remember when I first gave you the blade to your throat when I first saw your appearance because Silus, your pupil, wanted me to show you his creator of this art, the Shadow Elf pupil. But when you train with me you see something inside of me don't you Alvastar? When I stare at you level headed you can see my anger and rage and I just can't seem to forget what's eating me alive. However Alvastar do you know what true love is? True love of something you love or something that you love that destroys you slowly and changes the colors of your hues and psyche? Almost like a mosaic and a broken butterfly. Prismatic personality and reflection and a puzzle piece inside but not a prototype but a prototype of a naked spiritual shell. I really want to say sorry not only to Mother but not to myself but perhaps sorry for the prototype that died. No....Alvastar that's not the case. I want to say sorry for not ''drying off my drowned raven feathers'' or more or so tuning into the crying epitaph and knowing what really the pain really was. Ah Alvastar you know when you train me as well that I've a lot of resolves in my eyes and my heart remains that of mother and Mother Snake but also the beast heart that is given by the ''TRUE FORM OF THE WOLVES''. Ah! Like my sons say, the only queen three tuft and puff and fluff and the only female we only need to protect and be knights for when we get older. Because our mother is the only female queen! But Alvastar isn't that sweet, my spirit sons love you? Oh! Alvastar that's right that's what we were talking about. What if I've three masks? ''MIDNIGHT WOLF AND ABYSS WOLF'' and The King of Spider Mask what would I be a three tier mask? I wonder what creation that would make? I can't even even pick up the blade without traumatic flashback because I'm traumatized and paranoid even though I'm fake laughing and smiling in real life and dancing underneath the ''curtains'' acting like nothing is bothering around me and my the silky wolf momma senors or as my spirit sons say the adult blue black wolf momma ears. You see Alvastar you as a Mr Vampy should ask me one thing? What would set you free? Not in that kind of sense but what would set free the wounds if you had any? The shadows or the infliction? Tell me can you tell me what would be mosaic? What would be beautiful and designed into a full butterfly wing? Could you also tell me what would be the raven black hair not drowned but floating above water would symbolize Alvastar in your Mr Vampy eyes? You see Alvastar I....well what could I say of right paws now? Wouldn't that be wonderful to think of the sleeping prince himself, Alvastar? I always thought about sleeping myself but sleeping in a different way if only the aura wasn't swirling with dark fire and strands of silver and abyss swirl around and showing the Spider's Mask and the one with the broken butterfly. Why do I seem to remember the littlest of things of hate and rage and anger and remorse and darkness. I really wanted to take me with you. I really wanted you to show you what my form was like. But I couldn't seem to hear you mother. I lost my ears for the angels and the seraphs. Their sound, their voice, their calling doesn't ring any sound but nothing but ''MUTE'' in the silky wolf momma ears. But in the end I really did have fun murdering them all. Murdering them free of disease and sin. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Na Ma Yu. Back then I started seeing all sorts of colors and prismatic shapes and triangles before going back in the body but what I really wanted was to show you love. The only vengeance I had was giving my service to Hell and Hell eternal. I even thought about questioning why my seat in Hell was always empty but is that because I like moving around floating. Floating and carrying you around me like a vessel. Traveling and being with you sounds delightful like handing Bel Bel the King of Spiders a demon fruit apple. I wanted to become friends with a demon itself because I wanted to be noticed and I wanted to be noticed of my true colors without really showing them like Bel Bel has once told me. But ah do you remember Mr Bel Bel how Mr Bulba had a smile on his face when he first saw me arrive at Hell and asked to let me live life one more time? Heh he looked really happy then. Heh that reminds me could he be happy with me forever if I could serve Hell forever? I hope that He'll never gets tired of my service because you've done something I couldn't. I wasn't built strong enough to fight what was hidden underneath my ''blind face''. ''Thank you Father'' for everything. Sitting down at the table cutting my favorite dragon skewer tail I looked at Mr Bulba swirling silver eyes and I stopped cutting my food for a second thinking ''what if I could make stronger ribbons for demons one day to hold up to true alchemy?''. I want to make sure everyone becomes what I want to become. Ethereal dreams of eternal Hell. My Hell will be your Hell. This is my love darling. Understand my love will be as dark as the soul turning ''black'' miasma pull. Because poison thorns really do suit you ''like I suited my beast armor'' with the raven's crest cradling the beast heart hoping the ''raven arms'' will become fully open on the ''user'' speaking of the user what about King of Spiders eh? The ability to transform and transform the face into many things and broken 8 pieces of the Spider. I wonder what kind of pain that would be on the physical user? Sadistic enough, what if that is a dream to make the physical body to summit to transforming and transforming the ''dream'' of the user? Making sure the dream is there but the pain of one. Sleeping Prince and sleeping ''Spider'' Bel Bel. The one of the many arms of the back of the Spider's Mark. Dream now Bel Bel. I'll guard you and hover over you like a broken butterfly. When you wake op be sure to ''notice'' if my mosaics have become a ''true'' butterfly. Notice me and the mosaic as my mask will be complete and I'll make sure to work on yours when you're ''asleep in dream city'' holding the golden weaver orb in your long pointy demon claws. Oh my body can't go on. I can't seem to ''burst this vessel out'' and the one that walks the empty throne that is because that demon is ''YOU'' out in the ''OPEN'' because when I walk and the magic curtain opens I want to show the world you for those with radiant spiritual eyesight to see that I carried you through and throughout your dream. I hope when you wake up I can finally say to you Mr Bel Bel that I can close the chapter now that I no longer need to listen or try to find my mother that won't come back to me. This is the time to delete and erase everything and say my final goodbye here. Only in the ''writings of the chapters of the branches'' didn't you see I built a beautiful tree? A abstract painted black Yggdrasil tree. My goals for Dream City have remained still for so long. I saw throughout the haze and the petals of dream city touched the beast mask underneath. I really saw your love then darling. I really saw your love then darling. I saw your love then darling. Fragile yet cold and chilling just like water and ice of what my aura seems to betray. I was hoping to tell Mr Bel Bel that I saw the sun one more time with you. But what I saw was ''nothing'' a blank canvas with only a ''false shadow'' I thought that was mother then but what I saw was something that ''died'' but then again Mother Snake is all I need now and to combine a multi head ''being'' someone with ''complete parts''. I hope you can understand Mr Bel Bel when you wake up I will be holding a complete ''Spider's Mask'' only showing cracks of the flow of ''aura and chi'' to show you coming out of my ''vessel'' holding the ''jointed body'' of a full alchemized creature ''The Wolf The Raven The Snake and The Spider'' ''The Dancing Butterfly is complete'' suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Suicidal aura. Dream now the Butterfly is a complete dancing mosaic as you sleep ''Mr Bel Bel'' working on the completed versions where we can hold back to back together. Even if my throne is empty I hope to see the throne of us and hold you the Sleeping Prince the Sleeping Spider in my arms. I really hope when I hold you the King of Spiders that I can lay my head next to you and feel around to see what you dream of in your sleep. Should that be ''paradise''? Or should that be more of a pitch black Yggdrasil Tree? You know I really want to paint things black and also paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. I want to paint your love onto my soul. Wake me up somewhere other than here and wake me up from a weave. I'll slowly open my demon ''eyes'' to you. Then I will see the true queen and the only wolf queen in Hell that tricked us with a beast seal and the alchemist laughed with the broken butterfly and mask. Because insanity one and molded into the aura cracks of the mask. You see, I will wait for you. You see, I will wait for you. You see, I will wait for you. Onto the dream city holding on. Perhaps dragging you down in the abyss smiling as I remembered a ''false shadow'' that I never will see the sun again with you but I will see with different eyesight now. Oh the sleeping prince and the sleeping Spider with the wolf. Speaking of which, I want to sleep with the ''King's robes wrapped around me'' nestled in the ''King's grasp'' to feed the one of the demons and the aura of the vessel. I hope then that when I do sleep that I can always hold on to the ''King's robes'' because then I know I will have hit ''checkmate'' you see, this obsession of this is one of the lies of the silver moon of deceit. I once saw the swirling wisp behind me and handed the mask to ''YOU'' but don't you see darling this is what love would be ''two sides of the mask'' are you underneath? Are you on the side of the mask? Right? Down or up on the crown? You see when I hold the ''King's Robes'' in my sleep I can see the deceit of the moon showing the shadow fangs and the shadow fangs showing everyday. This is beautiful. Beautiful like our toxic miasma love together. Dancing wisps and dancing Spider and the wolf in the ''shadow moon'' creator of the ''MASK''. O sun of Vol Vol Vol the swirling dark sun could you be the lighter of the shadow fangs grasping over the moon? ''HOWLING'' because when you love me I want to stand in front of you in the whole''BEING'' that I'm. I hope you can notice and notice the sleeping wolf and spider nestled in the ''King's Robe protecting the Queen's Guard''
Since little of you people on here are not interested in reading this section I've cut this off for now but you can ask to see the rest whenever.
Also if I'm offline you can find my contact information here. Hircine#9055 and Snap is theredkoiboy and finally IG neosuitbahamut0892233