The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

What would you like from me? You won't get it. Not right away at least. You'll have to really work at it. Even then, the magic eight ball says "It's doubtful."

I love Cherry Koolaid. Sometime when I drink it, I purposefully let some run down the corners of my mouth and act like a vampire that just got done feeding.

I hate real life and most things associated with it. Like work. And the sun. And bills. And the fact I had to switch my work shifts, so now I drive with the sun in my eyes, to go to a job I don't like, then give my paycheck to the bill man.

I love intentionally ignorant people. They make me feel better about myself. It's like the mentally challenged playing chess with me. I don't care who wins or loses or knocks over the chessboard. In the end, they're still retarded.

I hate people that take things too seriously. People that take things too seriously are subject to Darwin. He will murder those people with heart attacks, hypertension, pre-mature gray hair and the subsequent depression that follows.

I love the fact that the US right now is spending more money on erectile dysfunction and breast implant research than they are on alzheimer's. So by 2050 all the old people (you and I) are going to have rock-cocks and big round firm tits on saggy bodies but no idea what to do with them. *snickers at the mental image*

I hate natural bodily functions. If I didn't have to eat, shit, sleep, or piss I'd be set.

I do, however, love holding off on above said bodily functions until I can't bear it any longer. Then when the function gets satisfied, the expirience is near orgasmic.

Now what you were looking for? See? I told you.