Another year older
Set at 23:05 on August 13, 2020
WHAT TWISTEDFATE IS DOING
Twist of fate, our paths entwine
I had my coven Crest set up but it's been a really long time since I have done much on here. I am a proud member of the coven of forbidden fruit.
If you are just rating to rate, then by all means hurry faster to the end of this profile, but if you are actually wanting to know about me, then take the time to read this. This isn’t a dating site, so I won’t treat it as such. You won’t know my likes or dislikes, or what like what is my favorite movie. You want a story that will blow your mind and have you question my existence then you have come to the right place. If you want me to spin a yarn like a bedtime story, then you might as well scroll down quickly as well, for the words that I type are true. This is about as close as you are going to get to remove my mask and get close to the monster that is me.
I had a dream a long long time ago of a man. Now it’s many years later and the man now haunts me. What started off as a quest, has left me with nothing more than questions than answers. Something happened, some time ago, that has changed me forever. I don’t remember how long ago, eventually time itself will just bleed through without a glance behind. I remember the event, ironically it came from a dream I can never erase. I once had a scar on my heart for a lover I couldn’t forget, now I just have a scar matching the torment that is my daily life. Love, religion, and life as I once knew it has left me at the gates of hell challenging my survival, my will.
Sure, I don’t have any resemblance of signs that makes me different than any of you, but deep down inside lies something terrifying that scares the shit out of even me. Right now I have a handle on it, but I know one day I will have to face this madness’s reality. I know that one day, I will fully understand and know what I am. One of these days, the man from my dreams all these years will reappear in my life, for I know that for some reason, I do belong to him. For eternity, come hell or high waters. When he comes for me there won’t be any resistance because his blood boils in my veins. He is responsible for what I am today.
I am changing, even in this modern day and age. I don’t really know the process to tell the truth, it’s a ritual I am not familiar with, or don’t remember. For all I really know it appeared to happen from a series of dreams. Food now is tasteless garbage that I hate to ingest. Occasionally, I do binge on food, just to feel like myself again. However I do pay for it later, so those binges are becoming few. Sunlight burns welts on my skin. My eyes are sensitive in all kinds of light.Do I fly or jump really high? No. Do I want to? Sure, who doesn’t? Electronical things malfunction around me especially if I am feeling emotional. Here, lately I feel more alive when the wind blows because mostly I feel alone and dead. I have a pulse, however most can’t seem to find it. There are other changes that honestly, I’m too private to share. Am I a vampire? Perhaps, perhaps not. Honestly, I have no real idea. It’s another question that I don’t have an answer to. I would love to definitely say yay or nay, but things are complicated. I just know that I am not entirely the same as everyone else.
I don’t know if more things are going to continue to change, I get the feeling it’s only the beginning. The beginning of a long, perhaps painful journey. One I don’t want to go on alone, however that may be my only choice. My interactions with people (I’ll just use the popular term on this site is mortals.) is becoming rare. I seem to have some urges to some that I am close to. So I have made them my enemy. Let them hate me and instill hatred within their families for decades. It won’t be any where near what I want to do if I ever cross their path again. So, unfortunately I have to step into the shadows and steer clear of the ones that beckon to tempt me down that road. I don’t want to blur that line, at least not yet.
I know that I am a monster that hides in plain sight. I have done many bad things in my life, that eventually did come back to bite me. (figuratively speaking) I know there is no way to save my soul. Fuck saving me, I have no interest in going to some sort of paradise if I die. Give it to someone who needs and wants it. My place is the cursed Earth, or Hell. I’ve made my peace with that. Your life will go much easier if you realize that too. There is no rewind button, there are no do-overs. No matter what or who I am I am guilty like everyone else, I do make mistakes.
I feel deeply on things or people I care about, perhaps too much. However don’t be fooled with such a kind statement. I have a rather dark side that is always wanting to take over. The urge to do damage, conquering the ruins especially if my heart gets hurt is always present. I love to love, and I love to hate. Both make me feel alive, both are my disasters that I can’t get a handle on fully. Love I chase after relentlessly always failing to grasp at it’s illusive wings. When I fall I fall too deeply, and well you know the rest, the vicious cycle that is me. As of right now I have given up on love entirely. So don’t waste my time, I won’t cyber with you. I don’t care if you claim to be the ruler of the entire world. I just don’t have the patience. None of you could handle me, a task failed by many champions. None of you could ever offer anything that I want or crave for, so it’s just easier to walk away from it all.
I am not new to this site, I was introduced to this site by some very cherished dear friends of mine in 2005. For whatever reason, I still remain even though vr has lost its luster some over the years. This site has a strange hold on me, that even if I walk away for a year, I always come back. However this will be the last profile I shall make. My time is precious and I don’t have it to waste on new profiles every month. Just know, that if I find you interesting, I will talk to you. If you find yourself blocked, then you’re annoying little fucker who just got on my nerves and I didn’t feel like hexing you. If I don’t rate your profile or add you, don’t feel bad, I only do that to people I want to know. If you promise me friendship forever, then run the first time I show my crazy, then stop talking to me, you will find yourself on the dead end friendship list which will be promptly removed. I only want to talk to people brave enough to stick around through all, because life is hard enough. I don’t need dead end people that is never around. If that sounds harsh to you, oh well. I wasn’t put on this planet to impress anyone. If you scare easy then we can’t be friends.
I am the monster that exists only to not exist. I am a wild card that fate has been trying to correct since day one.
|Member Since: ||Jul 21, 2008
|Last Login: ||Sep 16, 2020|
|Times Viewed: ||29,156|
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No matter the religion, no matter the creed.
We stand as one, though are paths are many.
Chaos is order to one, like beauty is subjective.
Rated by Sire BrotherMalaki.
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