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Set at 04:55 on December 22, 2018
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Quote: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”.
Welcome to my little piece of hell, enjoy your stay and don't forget to wipe your feet.
RIP Daddy (12/14/10) I will see you again in the clearing at the end of the path.
Song of the month:
This month's song is "I am only one" by We Are The fallen
Memories fade into the silence
Haunting me tonight
With hope's last breath I take this moment in
It will be the last
That morning breaks
And sunlight takes the pain away
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting for a life that never was
And all the dreams I lay to rest
Are ghosts that keep me
After all that I've become
I am only one
I close my eyes and bleed this empty heart
Of all that longs to die
When faces lie and love will falter
I'm left with only time
And time will break
The dreams that take the pain away
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting for a love I'll never have
And all the dreams I lay to rest
Are ghosts that keep me
After all that I've become
I am only one
I'm on my own here
And no one's left to be the hero of
This fairy tale gone wrong
As night will fall my heart will die alone
Ever after never came
And I'm still waiting for my heart to beat again
And all the dreams I've laid to rest
Are ghosts that keep me
After all that I've become
I am only one
I am only one
I am only one
I am a 38 year old mother of one amazing little boy, I am semi insane, an avid writer and reader and an aspiring musician. I am cynical, dark, and unstable...but a hell of a lot of fun to be around lol. I am extremely outgoing, sometimes to a fault. I am a writer of music, poetry, prose, erotica and romance novellas. For examples of these just ask.
I am looking to meet people that are semi intelligent or remotely interesting...both is a plus. I like talking to those that can carry on an interesting and intelligent conversation, I respect those people with the balls to disagree with me. I offer decent conversation, friendship, and a kindred spirit. What I am NOT looking for is someone that wants me to "fix" them. I am not a damned therapist! I don't require fixing either so don't look upon me as a project and we will get along swimmingly.
My interests include Music, horror movies, writing, and the thing that keeps me semi sane...singing.
My musical interests are but not limited to Seether, Evanescence, Breaking Benjamin, Crossfade, Tool, Perfect Circle, Three Days Grace, Sick Puppies, Avenged Sevenfold, Within Temptation, ICP, System of a Down, Papa Roach, Lifehouse, Disturbed, Korn, Lincoln Park, Just about anything angstful, angry, or heartbroken appeals to me...
My Movie interests are but not limited to anything by Tim Burton, Anything with lots of blood, guts, and gore, Dark Crystal, Labrynth, Princess Bride...
As for tv, I Love Big Bang Theory, and my new obsession is SUPERNATURAL!
The sexiest man alive!!!
I love to read and a few of my favorite authors are Steven King especially the Dark Tower Series, Historical Romance, Ann Rice, and Dan Brown.
Shakespeare, Chaucer, Poe, Robert Browning, Steven King, Ann Rice, Dan Brown, Mark Twain, Shel Silverstein, Robert Frost, Oscar Wilde, Emily Dickinson. Wordsworth, Yeats and many more...
My heroes are artists. Anyone brave enough to display images of their soul for the general scrutiny of the public, be it musician, painters, writers...
Favorite Artists
Luis Royo
HR Giger
Salvador Dali
Monet
John Everette
Some of my own writing:
A single Tear
A single teardrops falls,
staining the flesh with pain.
Inside, my mind recalls,
remembering the way again.
A single reminder of the past,
the darkness giving over to light.
Realizing this was not the last,
the cloud removed from my sight.
Inside that single teardrop lies,
like a lonely ship at sea,
The mystery hidden inside the eyes.
All the things that are yet to be.
It's with this single lowly tear,
I remove you from my life.
I have nothing left to fear,
I am free from pain and strife.
I do not look behind me now,
only ahead at what could be.
I found the strength inside somehow.
I looked in the mirror and saw; me.
I was able to forget your taste,
and save those memories for another year.
And leave the memory of your face,
locked inside a single tear.
Save me
The body is broken
The heart is fragile
I hide behind the smiles
You see only what you want
A reflection of yourself
Does that make you feel better?
I let you see what you can handle.
Masks protect me from the world
No one knows my name
They see the girl in the mirror
The pretty painted face
Green eyes that hide hatred
Hate that fuels the rage
I cut myself to know I bleed
Did you really think you knew me?
I lie in the dark and weep
Pain, it makes me bitter
I feel no hope, no love
There is no warmth on my face
No sun to guide my way
I beg the world for salvation
I'll let you see me
Masks protect me from the world
No one knows my name
They see the girl in the mirror
The pretty painted face
Green eyes that hide hatred
Hate that fuels the rage
I cut myself to know I bleed
Did you really think you knew me?
Save me....
Please save me.....
Take away my pain.....
Save me....
I try to believe
(whispered) Please save me...
My serenity (12/2/04)
The darkness blooms beyond sight
Inside myself i hide
I've given over to the temptation
of the thoughts inside my head
I beg for forgiveness for my sins
Only silence answers
I beg to understand my place
Please give me the eyes to see
Chorus:
God grant me the serenity
Grant me the right to believe
Give me the eyes to see beyond the dark
I accept what I cannot change
Yet I lack the courage to fight
Will you stand beside or forsake me
God grant me the serenity
I stand here before you
Naked and alone
I run from what I don't understand
only shadows of a former life
I've broken myself
unmending pieces fall around me
I beg to find my home
Please show me the way
Chorus:
God grant me the serenity
Grant me the right to believe
Give me the eyes to see beyond the dark
I accept what I cannot change
Yet I lack the courage to fight
Will you stand beside or forsake me
God grant me the serenity
Steven King's Dark Tower Series
Favorite Quotes:
"Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music." (Jimi Hendricks)
There they stood, ranged along the hill-sides, met
To view the last of me, a living frame
For one more picture! in a sheet of flame
I saw them and I knew them all. And yet
Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set,
And blew. ``Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.'' (Robert Browning)
A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist. (Stewart Alsop)
This is what I believe:
That I am I.
That my soul is a dark forest.
That my known self will never be more than a little clearing in the forest.
That gods, strange gods, come forth from the forest into the clearing of my known self, and then go back.
That I must have the courage to let them come and go.
That I will never let mankind put anything over me, but that I will try always to recognize and submit to the gods in me and the gods in other men and women.
There is my creed. (DH Lawrence)
I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse. (Isaac Asimov)
"Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other." (Francis Bacon)
"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference." (Elie Wiesel)
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." (Galileo)
"The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth. Children and lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life patiently trying to untie." (Jean Cocteau)
"Because talent won't be quiet, doesn't know how to be quiet. Whether it's a talent for safe-cracking, thoughtreading, or dividing ten-digit numbers in your head, it screams to be used. It never shuts up. It'll wake you in the middle of your tiredest night, screaming, 'Use me, use me, use me! I'm tired of just sitting here! Use me, fuckhead, use me!'" Ted Brautigan (Dark Tower series)
I will be your chained angel
Other random pics of interest
My Protectors:
If you add me as I friend I can promise you honesty, support, and a kindred spirit. Upon this guarantee, I sign my name in blood...
Member Since: | Feb 28, 2006 |
Last Login: | Apr 27, 2019 |
Times Viewed: | 35,524 |
Times Rated: | 2,038 |
Rating: | 9.847 |
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