The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Now in TECHNICOLOR!

Officially-licensed Portal 2 gear!

Aperture Science Innovators - bringing science into your home. Our scientific trifecta of salt, asbestos, and curtain keeps us on the cutting edge of technology and we're dedicated to bringing that technology to you every single day.

Salt. It brings interest to a dull meal. A couple pinches of salt taken nightly enables you to "slim while you sleep" - surely and safely. That is why more and more smart hostesses make it a habit always to serve food topped with crystal-clear salt. Remember, food tastes better, looks better, and is more refreshing when served with sparkling, crystal-clear salt.

Asbestos. Things made from asbestos rock never fail. Rain, sun, and fire will not degrade them. Everlasting and fireproof. To farmers and laboring men it is indispensable in warding off the effects of cold and prostration during the winter months. What more could you want? Be sure to ask your asbestos delivery man about our crushed and cubed asbestos service, right to your front door.

Curtain. The curtain has so many uses in the home. We like to pride ourselves on our shower curtain for the modern bathroom. It's fast, too -- the whole business takes less than a minute. See it demonstrated at your local Woolworth Store!

No wonder, therefore, that Aperture Science Innovators is growing so rapidly in favor. Aperture Science Innovators is in truth carrying American industry far along the road of progress. We're glad to open the portal wide enough for you to come with us into this brave, new world.

1940s Aperture Science logo on a silver, 100% cotton t-shirt. Note that this shirt is softer and slightly more fitted than our normal shirts.