The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

One night, a young man named Ronald (Michael Hamilton) is attacked by an unseen assailant, and during the course of the attack he loses his shirt, then one of his teeth, and gains a tattoo. Finally, he's bitten on his buttocks, which causes him to begin transforming into a vampire and incessantly break wind. If you find this movie funny, congratulations, your IQ is in the single digits. A year later, Bella (Heather Ann Davis) asks her boyfriend Edward Colon (Eric Callero) to transform her into a vampire, but he insists that he marry her first. Bella also has to deal with the affections of Jacob (Frank Pacheco), a member of a pack of overweight, flatulent werewolves (who oddly never transforms).