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The vampire, by whatever definition you choose, having either a condition of the physical body or simply a spiritual malady that needs prana to be obtained to sustain its physical/spiritual health, does by nature, need to partake of the energies of outside sources.
The amount and the method are quite personal to the individual and can come from many sources. In this article however I will be talking about other Vampyres (Kitra) or people as donors, Sanguine (blood) or Psychic/ Pranic (energy) sources.
A Sanguine Blood-donor is an individual that is willing to allow the vampire to drink their blood and obtain their life-force 'gift' in that manner. Some sanguine donors prefer Transdermal communion. Transdermal is 'thru the skin', like sucking, without biting, or with some advanced tactile methods were the blood leave the body thru the skin without cutting or tearing. Others prefer to have their blood taken via syringe or dripped into a glass or other vessel and it being drunk that way. Some use a blade to cut the skin. There are pros and cons to each method. With transdermal communion, there is a lower risk of saliva borne viruses and infections and if done improperly is more likely to cause bruising of the flesh of the donor. With the cutting method the wound is larger, allowing for longer healing time and risk of secondary infections. With a syringe or dripping into a glass, there is the argument that some of the prana might be lost to dissipation, and some feel that this is a more unattached less bonding form of communion. Though with this method, there is less scarring than with the cutting biting or tearing methods, and if there is a sterile needle used and no contact made to the wound that might exchange bodily fluids of any kind, the risk is less of becoming infected, at least to the donor. Though with either method, sanguine donation is a very risky thing and should be only done between adult, consenting partners that have their blood tested often. Still there is no guarantee of health.
Psychic Communion, though not as bonding perhaps on a physical level is preferable health-wise. I find that exchanging prana psychically is very versatile, safe, and can be done very discretely. That is if both partners are willing and mature enough to know when to stop, when they need to stop either drawing or channeling and can monitor their needs wisely. This can have its own set of drawbacks. If the communion is done over distance vs. face to face or tactile it is often difficult to effectively gauge the reactions/ condition of the donor or vampire. As a Kitra it is important not only to pay attention to the physical solidity of yourself and your partner but also the emotional and mental well being of potential partners, there are many signs to look for such as dependency, abuse, addictive behavior.
Exerpt from the "V" Book:
There are many forms and styles of communion, but several basic levels are practiced by the Strigoi Vii; these are Ambient, Tactile (touch), Empathic, Visual and Temporal (mental). Each of these forms of communion is detailed in V Book II: the Codex: "For many, communion upon ambient energy barely sustains. Most require a deeper connection, something that is more personal and fulfilling. For some, surface communion will suffice to fill this need. This can be accomplished either from a distance or through direct physical contact. The focus of a surface communion is always an individual. Where ambient energy is that which has been given off by a person and is no longer attached to who they are, surface communion skims the surface of their energy body, taking energy that is still a part of them. Surface energy is charged with the emotions of that specific person, and this makes the energy more intimate and more intense."
I have had some experiences in being the donor vampire and the taker in both methods of exchange. Some of the experiences were wonderful life-enhancing exchanges that benefited both partners equally and were what communion should be ideally. On the other hand I have also had experiences where one or the both of us, donor and vamp, have been unable to keep things at just a relationship of exchange. The lines began to get blurred and romantic feelings began, or at some times powerful feelings of obsession or dependency began to surface.
Having a personal donor you trust is a blessing to a vampire. It is a wonderful empowering addition that can bring health, friendship, companionship and freedom from worry of ridicule and revulsion. I have heard donors referred to in times of need as an 'Oasis', that is a pretty powerful thing. Donors should be cherished for the gifts they are willing to give us, not just in sanguine or pranic form, but in the areas of companionship and acceptance. They should never be abused or used for anything they do not freely offer. A lot of us might not have the release or feelings of health and balance we have if not for these exceptional individuals.
When a relationship begins between a donor and vampire, there should be specific ground rules or even a contract made in writing or, at least, verbally that each partner understands. There should be clear language used so that misunderstandings and hurt feelings will not arise later. If the relationship is purely pranic, and both partners agree to this, there should be no pressure later from the vampire that it becomes sanguine for instance; similarly, if the relationship includes sexual exchange that should be clearly understood at the beginning. A very good example of things that should be considered is in "Donor bill of Rights". Found here:
http://www.sanguinarius.org/articles/dbor.shtml
It gives some very good guidance about some of the questions both involved parties need to discuss before continuing farther. I wish that in the beginning I would have had this to refer to. I believe that a mature discussion at the onset is the best insurance of a smoother relationship later. All expectations should be calmly and maturely discussed and each should keep the other informed frequently and quickly of any changes having to do with this agreement.
I believe that at times in any relationship we are aware of some warning signs that things might be going in a direction we are not comfortable with, times when dependencies and misunderstanding begin to develop. It is the responsibility of both the donor and the vampire to have good communication and be as honest about what they are feeling as possible. If things or feelings change within the relationship these need to be discussed immediately. I have had experience with the communication not being as upfront and clear as it could have been. I look back on it and see where things go off track for me or my partner and I either ignored it was happening or felt that I could handle it. I learned a valuable lesson, and what some of the warning signs were.
One of the first things I noticed in my last experience, one where I was a donor vamp to another person, was that he had actually 'tapped me' without first asking. I felt him draw from me unasked and I confronted him on it. This was a very long distance draw and he didn't think I would feel it. I opened the idea of a joint energy exchange that might be beneficial to the both of us. That since I had too much built-up of energy in the evenings and he was able to draw from far away it would be a unique opportunity for us both. I had already over looked the first red light: he took without asking. Things were nice for awhile and we both benefited. After about 2 weeks he messaged me that he loved me. I told him that it made me uncomfortable that he said such things, but we didn't stop the exchanges. When he began to take more deeply, also without asking, I didn't say anything. Again, this should have been discussed, immediately without delay. I was enjoying the exchanges too and ignored a lot of things that in hindsight would have been clear indicators of where this was heading. As time went on, I became tired. I did tell my partner that I needed to back off. He began, as in the beginning, trying to 'tap me' without asking, hoping I would not notice. He would do this even when I had expressly told him I was ill. I backed off further. That is when I found out how deeply this relationship had changed for him. He sent messages to me constantly, with "I love you's" and told me that I had changed his life, that I was responsible for everything from his renewed zest for life, to weight loss and cure from migraines. That he would do anything to get me back in his life and as his donor. I stayed away, till one evening when I was so energized that I was extremely uncomfortable. I went to him for help he took the energy away , I felt better he felt happy, and the very next day I was struck with the realization that this had become a very sick, dependant relationship, for both parties. At this point I actively had to seek outside help. Had I heeded some of the signs I saw in the beginning, it wouldn't have become what it did. This is why I believe that a long conversation before and during a donor/vamp relationship is very important. It is no guarantee that feelings will not be hurt and misunderstandings won't happen, but it will help to state the intentions of both partners so that there is at the least a foundation on which each can feel respected.
Donors can also be very affected by their part in things with a vampire they are donating to. Most all donor types are very compassionate loving, giving individuals. They embrace a role that allows them to give to others in many areas of their lives. Giving of themselves to a vampire is a very intimate and loving thing for a donor, bonding them to the one they donate to in a very deep meaningful way. Some times, when I have been the donor-vampire in the exchange it was easy for me to not feel myself evolving, at least in my mind, into the caregiver role. Feeling as almost a mother to the one I was feeding. I found myself giving them unasked for advice and thinking I had the right or duty to be involved in other areas of their lives as well as the exchanges we had. I had to remind myself that I was their vessel, not a parent, girlfriend, sister, or any of the other roles. I was a friend, but had become confused about the bond we had formed based on the intimacy of the exchange. At times I found myself feeling bitter or left out when they would seemingly only have me in their lives in the capacity of a battery. Would I have wanted to become something more? In truth no, I am not and was not at the time in a position to be anything more that what I was; still my feelings got hurt, again all for lack of clear lines being drawn on the onset.
Communion is not sex, it is not a wedding, and it is not a guarantee of relationships evolving later or turning romantic. When these things begin to happen between a vampire and donor and the feelings are kept hidden or assumed to be shared back, all sorts of hurt and trouble can happen. Not just for the partners involved but if it becomes out of control, the community, and the day sides of both can be affected as well.
A lot of the time one or both parties have romantic relationships outside of the exchange. It is important if the romantic partners do not know about the donor, or vampire (which I suggest disclosure if possible so there is no misunderstanding) That both parties are discrete and mindful of the others situation and respect their privacy and right to secrecy.
Both should understand that at no time should either commit an act that would in anyway draw attention that would bring discord or trouble to any area of family or day side life for their partner. In times that I was the one with a donor, especially in my case when it was a sanguine donor, I saw my own warning signs. I was elated to have a sanguine donor that I could trust and who was very free with the gifts of his blood to me. I felt like a kid in a candy store. From the beginning our communion in this way was pleasurable and empowering for me, I felt better, more healthy, and energized. People even had commented to me there was 'something different about how I looked' that there was a light in my eyes. For me it was almost like being on a new vitamin supplement. It was almost intoxicating. That should have been my first sign of danger. It did intoxicate me. I began to crave the experience and the feeling I got when feeding. At times it seemed to react with me chemically in such away that I felt entranced. I looked forward to that part of my relationship more that the person. I began to walk on eggshells, hoping to not upset or alienate my partner so that my 'source' wouldn't go away. I tolerated a lot of things I was uncomfortable with to keep my 'fix'. For both my experiences with regular donors they lasted a few months each. The bond got very clouded and messy as I became possessive and demanding or sacrificing and over-giving as would suit my aim what I wanted or needed. Once the donor relationship ended, I realized how deep the 'addiction' went.
At the time it felt like very physical cravings, in hindsight I can say that the withdrawal as it seemed to be, also included a psychological feeling of 'need'. Both for the closeness of the bond and the feeling of health and even peace I got from the exchanges. When I look back on the sanguine experiences, I can see where it would have benefited me to have not been in a romantic relationship with my donors. I used the relationship as a tool or bargaining chip. I had used their feelings for me as a manipulation. Also had I applied more effort towards learning control methods or meditation, and even some of the psychic feeding methods, I use now as a supplement, I wouldn't have found myself so dependent. Having other methods of obtaining energy at my disposal would have also made the times without a donor easier. I have since looked into meditation and ambient draw as supplemental techniques. I infrequently get a sanguine craving, possibly once or twice a month and they are less intense than they were.
Being able to review past donor relationships, whether I was the Kitra or the drawer has been invaluable to me in making choices for my future relationships. I feel that; trusting my intuition, looking for the subtle and sometimes not so subtle warning signs, clear frequent honest communication and not being solely dependent on one source can make a big difference.
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