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Ok I being the overly interested in situations where strange shit happens.... found out about the shooting in Miami.... the police state it was drug induced, and that the victims and such where homeless people.



What I've managed to find out....



The guy they had to get off the victim who was making lunch out of the guys face, and not stopping and snarling at the police when approached.... they had to empty a full magazine into to put down 1 well placed bullet did nothing....



Second they have released NO information about how the victim is doing nothing....



Next thing there not telling you.... this is the 1st of 2 incidents in a 24 hour period where leather force was used to take down a naked / half naked wandering person in the area....



3rd thing I found interesting.... a theft from a lab working on a cure for a flesh eating disease all with in a few day period.... materiel was taken from that lab.... but there not saying what, and its been back paged, and kept quite....



I don't mean to alarm any one all this info is on the net if you hunt for it.... but it seems a little strange to me. I don't think where being told the truth.....

He left.... packed his things.... told me everything was hooked up to the family`s accounts.... and he left.



I`m here sitting in the sub basement of this old house, and for how ever long I guess it`s all mine now.... bill`s get payed for by the magic of electronic banking..... all I`ve been doing is checking the bill`s that come in the mail.... and see the transactions unfold....



In a way it`s sort of a damn nation.... can`t leave.... can`t sell it.... stuck here.... but yet in this cage everything is done for me I guess I should not complain....



BUT the loneliness is killing me.



Just one that`s all I ask for is just ONE single being who would want to be here next to me, and not leave.... but well no one in there right mind would want to live in this far removed butt crack of Canada.



So I sit here alone pondering why..... why must he still control my life to the point where I am stuck in this cage. He knows I guess if I lived any place else I would be more then this.... I would be happy.... so he keeps me trapped here....



It`s just one fucking big cage....

COMMENTS

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Oceanne
12:39 May 23 2012

At least your "cage" isnt the streets.

And Canada is beautiful!

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POST COMMENT

You only see what your taught to see....



I've always said I'm there for someone for as long as they want me.... if they don't want me around any more I'm gone....



So once again.... I am GONE



I don't turn around I don't look back I just GO....



When dads gone I think I'll go some more.... some place more remote away from people....



I don't want to be around people any more.



All they do is hurt.... I think I've hurt enough

Yesterday one of the only people in this world who knows ME.... was here after over 5 years she came to my door, and stayed for the night. We talked untill I fell a sleep.... yes I feel safe enough with this person in the room I can go to sleep knowing there still awake.... they where even kind enough to wake me after I had my nap.....



She does this its happend before righr when I would start doubting myself.... out of know where from over 1000 miles for no real good reason totally random she shows up.



It's rather remarkable.....when we first started talking she was the one in hell.... then in her absence to hell I went, and remain... yet she still comes here to check up on me not before not after but always exactly when she is needed.



But this time it was her who taught me something..... and that in its self is an amazeing thing.



good night

The plan was I stay here work this contract for a year.... by that time he'es dead I sell everything and go....



I worked durring the day today..... I'm not sure I can do this....



1. coughing

2. nose running

3. the size of my vains have visabley shrank

4. the only exposed part of me durring the walk to the car was my face.... I now feel like im running a feaver

5. tryed to eat something yes im dumb

6. vomiting

7. im burring up like I have a fevor

8. I'm starving

9. negative ions are not helping



yet even thoe I am so sick..... only one things on my mind...... her.... her soul sings out to me calls me.....



Such a strange mix.... one part heat stroke one part lust I guess.....



In any case I'm back to work tomorrow.... at least I have UV sun glass'es....

This morning I went up to the main floor of the house to get milk (still no fridge down here) and everything exploded.



I am one week of training away from getting something I always wanted to be manager of a restaurant.... everytime I try to leave this house to try to go to work he starts in on me..... leaves me alone the rest of the time only when I'm trying to go to work as I'm walking out the door.



This mornings confrontation pushed things over the dangerous edge we've been walking on me, and him.... this morning I got threatend. I got told things are never going to work out for me again.... and he seems to be hell bent on making sure I lose what ever I have left..... he refused to keep his word on anything..... I guess you'ed have to know the back story for this what the past now 5 years of my life have been like I'm sure if you read back through everything on here you'ed get some idea how much I HAVE LOST....



Was always told when things where done I'ed be taken care of things would get fixed now I've been threatend NOT to etempt to fix ANYTHING myself and that my own family will not be helping me either.



I'm in a cage....



On a sinking ship....



For fuck sakes just let me drown I'm sick of this.... but we all know the difference....



I can stick a knife through my hand at work it heals over.... I can rip a metal vegitable slicer from its morings scaring the metal it was attached to..... sun light just gives me a migrain....I look at my thumb I cut to ribbens 1 day ago its healing skin closeing over you'll never see it was cut in another days time.



Guess I need to find someone to stuff garlic in my mouth cut off my head cover me in gas and flick matches would that work?



Either way.... I think I'm done



It's bad enough people I knew 15 years ago are coming into work seeing me and jumping back 5 feet..... yes I have not changed in appearance in close to 20 years.... besides grey hairs here and there I still have the body of a 20 something..... everything works somethings even to well.



I don't know where to go what to do.... I am lacking purpose here because no matter what I do its never good enough for any one.



I need out one way or another I need out....

Sometimes things ARE to good to be true.... I should know this by now.



Get into a long distance relationship.... then realize this will NEVER become a real thing for a shit load of facters.... leave that person knowing full ass well it would NEVER have worked out.



Then end up tangeled up with someone who as far as I am concerned is the most amazeing person I think I have ever met in my life.... get extreamly happy.... come home to this....



"Hey. I'm just letting you know that I'm not ignoring you or anything. More so just taking time for myself which I haven't done in a while. Xoxo"



Ask a female friend what that means.... oh that means PISS RIGHT FUCKING OFF..... really? Yes she wants nothing to do with you!



Wow well so called Vampire Girl.... you have no idea what you just kicked out of your life.... enjoy the poser boys ^.^



HILLARIOUS!



Gotta love how people ditch people after promessing them they'll never ditch you.... story of my life....



Sorry I'm to used to this by now hurt my feelings you wont nope. lol



Silly monkeys and there human tricks :P