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Pumpkins.... are so.... done that.... the next door neighbors on the other hand....



(pouty look)



I just want to carve a happy face on something....



Is that soooooo bad?



Then again I do sow..... and I don't smile any more......



I just want a nice..... big........ smile.....









Happy Halloween ^.^

Well why does love exist ?



Well in recent years love has done some damage.

It's made silly young lady's get all mushy over things like Twilight..... Twilight leads to apple fetishes, and masturbating in a bucket of glitter.... this leads to a trip to the ER to get there vagina's washed out before the toxins in the glitter get all the way into there blood stream.... and well there was mush douching involved and embarrassment for all those involved......



so in reality love these days...... is a pay chaque for silly girls who write stupid shit novels.... that some how lead to doctors in the ER getting payed, and having strange story's to tell there significant others...... like



"and she was holding onto this apple the whole fucking time"



Love in the 2000's...... all that's glitter..... not really worth the effort :P



hope that answers your question (giggle)

Last night up on request I was asked to go hang out with some people I had met during my comings and goings in the local area, and I chose to give this socializing thing a try.... I do this maybe once twice a year..... but we all know how it ends......



It took them altogether 4 hours to get around to actually going to the Halloween dance at a local bar.....there was skull paint, vampires, and people to lazzy to dress up....



I told them, and they thought I was joking.... I said for once.... I'm leaving the makeup off.... I spent over an hour in the bath with a verity of chemicals herbs spices detergents, and shampoo's and I removed hair.... skin treatments , and all..... in the end I smelled like burnt wood.... sand.... and lime. After digging out old chests I came to some of my older cloths.... when I was fully dressed I guess I resembled a teenage version of Count Orlok.



I spoke few words the entire night but perched on a bar stool, and watched the goings on the.... silly human tricks.... one lady was teased by her friends into asking me to dance.... I do not dance.... in fact it had been the first time I had tried to in years.... and the closest proximity to human being I had been in over 5 years...



This set something off soon the room was swimming all the sounds of people talking became static.... normally in a room I can zero in on 1 voice or a conversation.... soon my head started to pound, and I left. I left the drunken monkeys to there tricks, and walked home.



I got home, and admittedly became ravenously hungry.... I sucked down a heated bowl of ammmm I'll call it chilli so I wont have to get into details.... and then put on some black and whites.... curled up on the black leather sofa.... and became depressed.



I miss her...... everything seems to empty now....

no one else can take her place no one else can do what just sitting there, and drinking a cup of coffee with her does....



even in a crowded bar I am still alone.... because there not my species.... only one person ever made me feel that way.... and I'm suffering living with out them in my life at all....



I'm meant to be....... alone.

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HauntingWords
16:17 Oct 29 2013

Many have this emotion.. they simply do not know how to communicate it~

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(curled up with Village Of The Damned playing in the back ground)



It had been this way for years almost 5 or is it 5 I've lost track of my returning to the family's estate that I would when not nightly employed wander the streets at night. I had my flight path as it where.... I would wander along tree covered paths always away from the light.... wander pasted empty play grounds.... thinking to myself how nice it would be to meet another such as myself.... that has to this date never happened..... the events of this evening are where very much to the opposite.



I suited up as I always do.... all in black.... hair to one side..... hoodie there encase I wish to cover myself further. Off I wandered only to this night meet with well.... the first group of youths wandering an old play ground on bikes at 11:00 PM stated I was a dike, and that I needed to be put to such harm.... I stood there just out of the light not saying a word till they uttered more curses, and wandered off.



That would be the first of 10 such encounters this night with silly monkey's looking to start a fight always in groups sometimes on foot.... 2 times in cars.... and once in a jacked up 4x4.... I gave no verbal response to any of them but continued on my way. For in order to get a response from me you have to brake rule number 1..... do not fucking touch me!



Now the thing about this that makes me wonder as to for the sanity of these people looking to possibly gang attack someone, and all of them being of the much younger generation of the regional occupation of stupid monkeys. It brings me to wonder in my youth.... had I seen between the hours of 11pm to 2am a above 6 foot 5 creature dressed all in black making no sound not even a foot step would I have yelled threats at it? No I would have ran the fuck the other way like the devil was chasing me.



Now what do you suppose has gotten into the minds of today's youth that you would seek a conflict with an un-known entity? Least of all in the night.... least of all in the dark....



Insanity? Maybe?

How is VampireRave like..... The Walking Dead?



We'll there are a bunch of people, there trying to live together, and a lot of drama..... Oh and over there waaaaay over there in the back ground.... there are a few monsters, and every once a while things get messy.

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xXxPaynexXx
21:15 Oct 21 2013

-cracks up-

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Here I am not able to sleep again.... So I'm watching anime again. Plus drinking my tea.... I have this supply of aged tea bags I'm running out tho :(



I'm curled up on a black leather sofa.... With a pink and black goth fairy comforter pulled over me with my head resting on a big Jack Skellington pillow.... Cute? No not really my face is sunken in.... Most of my skin looks like its plastic rap.... You can almost count all the bones in my body just by looking at me.



Hmmm I have to get up soon it's over cast , and raining out.... It's the perfect day for me to wander off, and get a few things done.... I wish I had a umbrella.... Not for the rain but incase that ball of light bright shit comes out from behind the clouds....



Murrrr



I wish I knew what keeps me coming back here....

I find myself sitting here.... watching an old Vincent Price movie.... with the washing machine wooooring away 2 rooms to my South. Yet my mind is lost....



SHE having done again what SHE does...... my last job ending with out reason warning or sanity.... no sitting here waiting to hear about my new job.... but being told to take a temp job while waiting....



Yet.... money is never something that troubles me.... I've never wanted for anything money could buy for there was, and is always loads of that.



Instead I sit here.... not crying because well I can't.... but instead pondering the why.... why is it not one ever sticks by me.... could it be the psychic turbulence.... the things that follow me around.... and then you have HER who I love more then anything in the world who well you know the story comes back once a year get's me emotionally invested, and then leaves me hanging like meat on a hook.



May be I'm destined to be alone.... for nothing I come to care about I get to keep.... and nothing I love ever stays....



Ever....